SOAR (The Indigo Lounge Series Book 4) (2 page)

Firm
hands pushed him back harder. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”

“I
didn’t realize that what I was asking was so damn impossible.”

She
shot him an incredulous look. “Noah, there’s a woman sitting no more than
twenty feet away who says she’s carrying your baby. Why don’t you focus on that
instead of throwing down ultimatums at me? I’m the last thing you should be
worrying about.”

“Wrong.
You’re the most important thing in my life.”

She
froze. Her grey eyes rounded, first with shock, then with a tiny glaze of hope
before they dulled again. Noah wanted to shake her, wanted to demand to know
what was going on in her mind. But she was already shaking her head,
withdrawing even further away from him.

When
he reached for her, she slapped him away. “No. I’m leaving, Noah. And you won’t
stop me. Goodbye.”

She
took three steps before he realized exactly what she meant. “Wait a sec. Just
so I get this straight, are you leaving this place or are you leaving
me
?”

She
turned. “I can’t compete with this, Noah. I’d fight for you with anything else,
but not this.”

“This?”
Thoughts crashed into one another, but one blazed through them all.
She was
leaving him
. “What the hell do you mean by
this
?” he demanded
fiercely.

Her
mouth wobbled for a second. “A child, Noah. I won’t compete with your child.”

TWO

Leia
had thought her pain couldn’t get any worse. She’d really imagined, considering
her own
circumstances, that
the single most
heart-ripping news she could face was that the man she loved was about to have
a child with another woman.
Until she’d caught a glimpse of
Noah’s reaction to the news of his impending fatherhood.

She
was dead certain he hadn’t even realized the naked emotion emblazoned on his
face a split second after Ashley had told him about the baby.

Wonder and elation.

It
had dissipated very quickly, of course. The circumstances were nothing if not
fucked up.

Now,
the combination of shock and confusion had rendered his normally vibrant skin
sickly grey. His brows clamped together. His hands trembled before he tightened
his hold on her.

“You’re
leaving me? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Even before I verify there’s
any truth to what that bitch is saying, you’re leaving? And what the hell do
you mean by
competing
?”

“You
know it’s the right thing for me to do, Noah,” she forced out through her pain.

He
stepped back, unclamping his hands from her arm. “No, I fucking don’t. All I
know is that a few short hours after promising me you wouldn’t, you’re running
again.”

“Don’t
say that. Please.”

“Please?
Then tell me what it is you’re doing. I’m seriously confused, Leia. Enlighten
me in plain fucking English so I get that you’re not walking away from me
because I’m…I’m…” His jaws clenched tight and he closed his eyes. Shoving a
hand through his hair, he breathed in deep. “I may not have known you for a
long time, but I know you’re not walking away because of this. So tell me, what
the hell is it?”

She
opened her mouth to remind him that she was only half a
woman,
that
what her stepfather had done to her had damaged more than her
spirit, but the pain shredding her heart stopped her.

She
shook her head. “I deluded myself into thinking that we could make this work.
God, I don’t know what I was thinking. My last relationship was just before I
turned
seventeen
, Noah. And I can’t even call that a proper
relationship. I was little more than a spoiled teenager with a rebellious
streak, testing my boundaries. I had no idea what I was doing then. And this…
this is way more than I can deal with. I’m going to fuck it up for you. You
have to let me go.”

“You
want to be able to pick and choose your battles, is that it? To retreat from
the world the way you’ve done for the last five years and only come out when
you think it’s safe and
comfortable
?” he grated at her.

 
A cold shiver chased
down
her spine. “Why are you doing this?”

“Why
am I standing here fighting for you instead of letting you chicken out and walk
away? Is that what you’re seriously asking me?”

She
crossed her arms over her midriff, desperately wanting to cling to the
fighting
for you
part. Letting Noah take control, convince her that walking away
wasn’t the right thing to do, was the one thing she wanted more than breathing.
She’d woken up this morning happier than she’d ever been in her life. She
placed sole responsibility of that happiness at Noah’s feet.

The
thought that in the future he could find her lacking was more than she could
bear. And once the dust settled, he
would
remember just how fucked up
she was. Remember how inadequate she was compared to the woman he needed. She
couldn’t do that to him.

“You
know
she’s telling the truth. I saw your face. You haven’t seen each
other in two years, but you know her. Whatever she’s done, you know she’s not
lying about this.”

His
face tightened. He nodded even though his eyes held nothing but condemnation.
“And what’s about to happen to me several months from now is a deal-breaker for
you? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I’m
saying I don’t want my presence to confuse the issue. Whatever decision you
make, can’t…shouldn’t include me.”
 
She realized how wrong her words sounded the moment she spoke them. “I’m
sorry, I meant—”

“It’s
fine. I get it.” His voice held cold, bleak acceptance. Its roughness tore at
her bleeding heart. “Things are a little
too
messed up for you.”

“No!
I mean yes, they are, but I’m doing this for you, Noah.”

“Like
hell you are!” He gestured indoors to the two people seated out of sight. “He
tells you to jump, and you can’t wait to ask how high!”

“Warren
has nothing to do with this,” she shouted. “Credit me with knowing my own damn
mind.”

He
seized her nape, forced her gaze upward to meet his. “If he’s got nothing to do
with this—with
us
—then stay. God, baby, did last night mean
nothing to you?”

Memory
slammed into her, making her tremble. “Of course it did. This isn’t easy for
me.”

“But
you’re doing it anyway. Do you really have so little faith in us?” he demanded
gruffly, sliding his thumb back and forth over the short hairs above her ear.
She knew he loved that patch of shaved hair. He’d been fascinated with it from
the moment they met.

God,
had it only been five short days ago that she’d walked into the Indigo Lounge’s
Ozone Bar and seen him for the first time?

She
wasn’t ashamed to admit Noah King had become her whole world in a stupidly
short time.

And
now, she had to walk away.

Tears
prickled her eyes. Once she left this place she wouldn’t feel his touch ever
again. The knowledge slashed her in two. She clung to the wrist that brushed
her jaw, treasuring the moment before she had to let him go. When her long
nails dug into his flesh, his blue eyes darkened. Unable to speak because
everything seemed to come out wrong, she dug in deeper.

His
soft hiss was music to her ears. He stepped closer, his fingers tightening.

Just
for a moment longer, she wanted to enjoy this, wanted to bask in their
unparalleled passion for each other. His thumb caressed the curve of her ear,
traced her jaw to the corner of her mouth. Her lips parted, and he slid his
thumb in. She sucked him slowly, absorbing his texture and the emotions that
flitted over his face. He still looked pale and haggard, but the blood was
surging into his cheeks again and his breathing was growing shallow.

His
other hand curved over her waist to grip her ass. With a single step they were
back against the wall, his body pressing down on hers. She sucked eagerly on
his thumb, her diamond tongue stud abrading the pad of his digit the way she
knew made him wild. His cock thickened against her stomach,
its
branding unmistakably possessive as his heartbeat hammered against hers.

He
kissed the side of her mouth, his tongue licking at the point where her lips
wrapped around his thumb. “I’m not ashamed to beg, Leia,” he whispered. “I need
you. Don’t leave me, baby. Whatever the fuck’s going on, we’ll work our way
through it.”

She
wavered. Maybe they could work their way through this. Maybe she could even
work her mind past the fact that he’d spent time behind bars. That was
something else she’d have to deal with. But it didn’t compare to the fact that
another woman was having his baby.

He
pulled his thumb from her mouth and replaced it with his lips. Their kiss was
incandescent as Noah mercilessly reminded her of their incredible chemistry. As
if she needed reminding. Too soon, he let her up for air.

She
tried to gather her scattered thoughts. “Noah…”

“You
can have this, sweetheart.
So many nights and days of this.
Don’t you want that? My cock inside your tight, beautiful body?” His hand slid
from her ass to wedge between her legs. Subtly applied pressure had her
shuddering and suppressing a groan. “I’ll take care of you, baby. Worship you
day and night.
No matter what.
You’re the most
important thing to me. Don’t fucking walk away from me now. Please.”

The
sound of the door sliding back registered at the edge of her consciousness.
Half of her was relieved at the intrusion, even as the other half crumbled in
inevitable dread.

“Leia.”

Warren’s
voice made Noah freeze. His whole body went rigid beneath the hand she’d
clamped around his waist in the heat of their kiss.

She
stared into his eyes. The ruthless lover she’d grown to love was very much
present. But so was the vulnerable guy who was floundering in the wake of
shocking news. She wanted to hold him to her. But that would prolong the agony
for them both. Because she wasn’t what he needed. He needed a woman who wasn’t
broken beyond repair.
A woman who wasn’t at this very moment
existing in fear of her life from her stepfather’s threats.

“I…I’ll
be right there, Warren.”

Noah’s
face froze into a mask of pure frost. The mouth that had kissed her so hungrily
and reverently moments ago, thinned into a formidable line. His hand slid from
between her thighs and the grip on her neck disappeared between one breath and
the next. When he spoke his voice was blade-sharp.

“You
have exactly one minute. That’s as long as I’ll hold myself in check. I’m not a
violent guy, Leia. Despite your complete lack of faith in me, I hope you know
that. But if you’re not out of here in the next sixty seconds…the doors get
locked, the ropes come out, and you get a taste of how much of a monster I can
be. I’ll destroy you before I watch you leave with that asshole, Leia. Trust me
on that.”

Unable
to speak in the presence of his arctic-cold anger, Leia jerked out a nod.

He
stepped back, stared down at her for another few seconds,
then
turned away. She knew the threat was real, that she’d wounded him badly. But
she couldn’t move. Her feet remained caked in heart-wrenching fear and regret.

“Leia.”

She
turned sharply toward Warren, her nostrils flaring in an effort to stem the
hot, scalding tears that surged.

When
she finally managed to get her feet moving, Warren held out a hand to her. She
ignored it, just as she ignored the sharp reproach in his eyes.

He
could go to hell. He, Ashley, her stepfather and the whole fucking world could
go to hell. Her heart was hammering itself out of existence because she was
choosing to be fucking
noble
.
To do the right thing.

She
swallowed a hysterical laugh and stumbled into the sun-splashed living room.

Ashley
sat exactly where they had left her ten minutes ago, not a single hair out of
place. She glanced at Leia and a small triumphant smile played at her lips.
Leia’s fingers itched to slap the look off her face.

“You
think you’ve won him back? Newsflash, bitch, all you’ve done is mess up both
your lives. Even if he stays with you, it will be out of pity.”

“Is
that why you’re running away?
Because you’re afraid of
competing with a little
pity
?
Or are you afraid that it’s just a
little bit more? Perhaps more than you’ll ever be able to handle?” The
questions were barely above a conversational murmur, but they raked over Leia’s
skin like industrial-strength sanders.

Leia
heard Warren enter. The sound of the door sliding shut reminded her that Noah
was out there, counting down her minute.

 
Shivering in remembrance of his cold
warning, she summoned a smile for Ashley. “Good luck.”

About
to walk away, she saw the file of Noah’s alleged criminal charges. It was open
to his NYPD mug shot. Her insides clenched hard. The look in his eyes was truly
terrifying. They promised retribution of the worst possible kind - the
retribution of a man who believed himself wronged.

“If
you did this to him and you’re stupid enough to come back for more, trust me
you’re going to need all the luck in the world.”

She
had the satisfaction of seeing Ashley’s demeanor crumble for a second before
that infernal smile returned.

“I’m
having his baby. It’s as simple and final as that. But if you need it pointed
out to you further - baby trumps trollop. It’s been nice
not
knowing
you.” Ashley waved her away.

“That’s
quite enough,” Warren said. She’d forgotten he was behind her and jumped when
he touched her arm. “Are you all right, my dear?”

She
snatched her arm away. “I’m fine,” she responded automatically, unwilling to
let anyone see how very much
not
fine
she was. “I need…I need to
grab my things…I’ll be right back.”

She
glanced at the sliding doors. Her minute had come and gone. Bizarrely, a part
of her hoped Noah would storm in just so she could see him one last time.
Shaking her head at the pure madness behind that thought, she rushed up the
stairs to the bedroom. At the sight of the rumpled bed and the clothes strewn
on the floor, she stumbled.