Socket 1-3 - The Socket Greeny Saga (46 page)

When I opened my eyes again, it was dark.
The sky was filled with stars. The grimmets were still out, staring
down at me. Then I realized it wasn’t stars, it was the grimmet’s
eyes, sparkling with points of light. Warmth rose up from inside
once again, hanging heavy on my eyelids. I sunk into the oblivion
of sleep.

I didn’t dream. Sometimes, I could hear the
night sounds around me, mosquito wings buzzing in my ear and their
piercing bites, but I never opened my eyes. My body felt heavy,
like mercury bubbled up from a well-spring deep inside, filling my
veins, weighing on my heart, encasing it like a suit of armor.

The Preserve was alive with birds welcoming
the morning when I woke. The branches of the grimmet tree were
empty, their purrs vibrating inside. A thick layer of dew sparkled
on the trees. My face was damp, the tip of my nose cold and numb.
Rudder rolled off my shoulder onto a coarse blanket covering my
legs. I sensed the floral essence of my mother’s touch.

The Realization Trial was days away, but no
one was urging me to get up. No servys floating up the slab with
breakfast. Spindle wasn’t there with the morning’s schedule. It was
just the birds singing. The sun rising.

I tapped my cheek for messages. Thirty of
them. Most were from Streeter and Chute. They were weeks old.
Spindle must’ve released them. Pon would’ve destroyed them, if he
was around.

The messages played while I crawled down
from the slab to the pond below.
Hey, Socket, it’s Chute. I hope
you’re getting these messages. Can you call back, or send a reply
through your mother? I know you have some big test coming up and I
just want to talk to you. I just want to know you’re okay, that’s
all. And, well, you know, I, uh… just call. Okay.

I splashed water on my face and stripped off
my shirt. My skin contracted in the brisk air. I dipped my shirt in
the pond and squeezed out the excess, rubbing it over my
shoulders.

Socket, it’s Streeter. Hey, where are you?
Did they send you off planet? Call me soon, I got to tell you about
gear addiction therapy. Seriously, call. Or have Spindle call or
something.

My knees dented the sandy mud. A foggy cloud
of emotion filled my head. My face got heavy.

I’m checking messages,
Chute said.
Why haven’t you called? I’m a little worried because, you know,
the way things went the last time you were here. Your mother says
you’re all right and I believe her and everything, but I want to
talk to you. I really want to hear your voice.

Sadness hardened in my throat.

I wish you would call,
Chute’s
message said.
I just want to hear you’re okay.

I convulsed.

Socket,
Streeter’s message said.
You all right?

I squeezed the muddy sand between my
fingers.

I think about you everyday,
Chute
said.

I dropped my chin to my chest, heaving like
the oxygen had been sucked out of the air, suffocating like I was
on another planet. The atmosphere was crushing me.

My hands plunked into the water, sinking
into the mud below. My reflection stared back. My hair stabbed in
all directions. My cheeks were stretched against the bones, my ribs
poking out.

Who is looking back?

“Delete!” I slapped my cheek, again and
again. “DELETE IT ALL!”

The nojakk voice mail reported:
Messages
deleted
.

I am no longer that person! That was
yesterday!
Another life
!

I marched into the pond. The cold seeped
through me, numbing the heaviness.

I can’t look back, you understand? I just… I
just can’t.

The water was at my throat. It took the
feeling from my skin. Another step, the water crept over my
lips.

I’m sorry, Chute.

The chilly water grabbed my scalp. I floated
off the bottom, drifting beneath the surface. The water buoyed me
in limbo. Life above. Peace below.

My cheeks expanded with my last breath.

Fighting the water that pushes on your
lips…

Sunlight shimmered down, flickering around
me. Water leaked into my mouth, pooled under my tongue. Tiny
bubbles streamed out, finding their way to the world above.

Water, the very substance that gives you
life.

My toes touched bottom. The sun was a
distant ball blurred on the surface, its light dim and distorted,
barely reaching the cold depths where I lingered.

When life calls for you,
Mother once
said,
you must find the strength to answer.

My lungs burned.

Let’s hope you are stronger than I
am,
she said.

The watery sun dimmed in a darkening
tunnel.

You can’t see what I see in you,
she
said.

My heart thudded.

But trust me,
she said.
Trust what
I see in you.

Shrinking. Smaller. And smaller.

Trust.

Disappearing from this world.

What I see in you.

My body, my cells, my being stopped
struggling. The dying light was replaced by images of my past.
Memories. I saw my father. My mother. I saw Streeter. And Chute.
The cold had reached my core.
Are you sure?

The world was so heavy. I was so small. So
imperfect.

Their faces flicked through my inner vision,
spinning further and further back, nearing my earliest days.
Are
you sure?

Maybe they were just memories, but there was
something indestructible. Something of infinite value. Something
that said,
Yes, the world is lucky to have you.
Something
that reminded me that no matter what the struggle, there is nowhere
to go. There is no place else. There is only now.

Are you sure?

I had to answer. Yes or no.

In the last moments, I pushed off the
bottom.

Water gushed into my mouth as I broke the
surface.

I inhaled hungrily at life. Hacking and
choking, I struggled to the shore and collapsed. The grimmets
watched me struggle to breathe. To live.

Were they watching me on the bottom, too?
Where was everyone? Mother was never around. Pivot left. Pon, too.
And my father, he was the first of all of them to leave. They all
checked out. All of them, letting me drown.

I slapped at the water. Cursing no one.
Cursing everyone.

Everything.

My chest contracted. Pressure building.
Stiffening.

The pressure wound inside my chest, locked
and loaded. I smashed my fists into the water and telekinetic waves
erupted through my body. Water exploded in a geyser of foam and
spray, thumping with supersonic depth, reaching the top of the
grimmet tree and raining down. I screamed their names, cursed them
for abandoning me. I pounded the water until my knees gave out.

My strength was sapped, but a resolution had
settled in its place. I did not choose death.

Live, I would, but not for joy.

I would mourn the death of Socket Greeny,
for he was still on the bottom of that pond.

Water dripped from my face, distorting the
water’s reflection. I recognized the face looking back. It was hard
and empty. It had no name. But I knew it.

A Paladin has been born.

T R A I N I N G

ice shatters

The days went by in a timeless blur.

Not many people spoke to me, leaving Spindle
to pass along instructions. He didn’t lecture me on the importance
of rest; he gave up on that.

He announced when my day of Realization had
arrived. He walked to the grimmet tree. I was sitting beneath it,
my legs folded under me, in meditation. He waited until I emerged
from my stillness and gently requested that I follow him. Energy
rustled the in my wake.

We went to a room. He left me there, perhaps
expecting me to meditate once again. Instead, I called for it to
build an environment. The white walls formed an exact replica of
the alcove perched high on the Garrison cliff. I sat on the ledge
and let my feet dangle.

It was an important day, that day. Invisible
cars had been approaching the Garrison since morning, masked by
back-reflection, making the space appear warped around the car.
Crawler guards crept along the perimeter running their own
back-reflecting gear, distorting the tree trunks as they passed,
following each car that swayed in the grass.

A very important day
.

A revolutionary cadet will be tested in the
Realization Trial today. One that moved objects with his mind. One
that might see the future.

Rain fell from the gray sky and the room
mimicked the drops with exact precision. It soaked my hair.

Another car approached, this one evident as
the rain was repelled by the warped space cruising over the
boulders. Crawler guards followed right out in the open this time,
their spidery legs gracefully covering the open land, their glowing
eyelights scanning the environment. The clandestine vehicle breezed
quickly over the field, slowing as it approached the sheer face of
the cliff wall. I leaned over and watched it merge inside.

So important
.

Mother emerged from empty air several feet
in front of me. She called for a personal bubble to resist the
rain. Her breath staggered at first. I could only assume it was the
way I looked. I’d lost weight, sure, but it was more than that. My
energy was darker than ever, like a storm cloud. She composed
herself, then appeared to walk on air to sit next to me. Together,
we watched the invisible cars float over the field. Some fast, some
slow.

She placed her hand on mine. Her touch was
hot. Perhaps she was not any warmer than normal. She had attempted
to eat meals with me in my final days of training, but I didn’t
take the time to stop, preferring to get my nourishment from
lifepatches and hydration paste. I slept beneath the grimmet tree.
When I woke, I trained. No one came to get me. No one bothered me.
Alone, I completed my training. All exercises perfected.

I executed every move, every thought, with
exact precision. I learned new information by absorbing it. I
merged with the enemy, merged with the environment, melted into the
intelligence innate in all forms. I became the enemy, knew it from
the inside. I was empty of obstacles.

I am the weapon.

“Ice shatters.” My mother took her hand
away. “Water flows.”

I narrowed my eyes and watched the field. An
emotion twisted in my belly, threatened to manifest.

“It’s what your father said after he failed
his Realization Trial.” She was lost in a memory. “It’s what he
said when he emerged from a three day coma. At one point, they
didn’t expect him to awaken, but then he muttered those words and
opened his eyes. He doesn’t remember saying it.”

Oddly, I couldn’t recall my father’s
face.

“This is a lonesome journey, Socket. In the
end, you are on your own. But when you complete your realization,
you’ll know you were never alone.”

“You mean
if
I make it.”

“No, I mean
when.
”

“Father failed.”

“You are not your father.”

The rain came down harder. It was difficult
to see across the field. The putty taste of the imitation raindrops
was on my lips.

Mother placed her hand on top of my head.
The bubble around her hand encompassed my head, repelling the rain.
She ran her fingers over my face, wiped my brows.

I resisted the rising tide of warmth
threatening to move my heart. She kept her hand on my neck so the
rain would not fall on me.

Spindle entered the room. “It is time,
Master Socket.”

My mother’s essence mingled through my mind,
leaving fragrant traces of scintillating energy. She paused before
she left but there was nothing left to say.

The alcove faded. Even the moisture
evaporated from my hair. I stood in a plain white room. “We will go
to a preparatory room for half an hour,” Spindle said. “Then you
will enter the Realization Trial.”

I nodded.

His faceplate bristled with texture and
color. “Your father once told me the Realization Trial is quite
simple. He said there is nowhere to go. You are already here.”

“Then why’d he fail?”

“He said it was simple.” Spindle paused
before exiting the room. “He did not say it was easy.”

The anteroom was larger than it needed to
be. Ten servys hovered along the back and I faced a blank wall with
Spindle by my side, waiting for the signal to enter. I could barely
feel my body. No longer cold, I hummed. No emotions, no feeling,
just
hummmmmm
. I did not fear, did not want. Whatever was
beyond the wall, I would face it without prejudice or
preconception.

Hummmmmm.

Nobody entered the room to wish me luck. No
one called or sent a message of good will. For that, I was
grateful.

The room was entirely motionless for thirty
minutes. I breathed in, out. Did not move to scratch or ask for the
time. It was just in. Out. And on the thirtieth minute, Spindle
placed his hand on my shoulder.

“You have been summoned to enter the
Realization Trial.”

His hand slid from me. I took a deep breath
and let it out slowly.

“I will be waiting for you, upon your
return,” Spindle said. “
Master Socket
.”

He emphasized my name, as if to remind me of
something I forgot. I took another deep breath. When I was clear
and focused, razor-sharp and deadly rapt, I stepped through the
wall to the other side.

No going back now.

T R A I N I N G

hunting the predator

An arena.