Solving for Ex (19 page)

But we never heard a single shout from Mr. Thomas. Thirty minutes after he’d come home, Brendan stalked through the house, not looking at me or his sister, ran up the stairs, and shut his door. It happened so quickly I couldn’t have called after him if I wanted to.

Mr. Thomas came in then, looking totally normal. “Ashley, I think it’s time we all turned in. Thank you for your help.”

I tried to make eye contact with him, and found I just couldn’t. So I mumbled my thanks, or my acknowledgment, or something, and slunk home.

I locked the door behind me, hoping Kristin and Bruce wouldn’t be home soon and notice the giant crane that was just pulling up to the house to pull the drowned Ferrari out of the pool. I flopped down on my bed face up, turned on my bedside lamp, out of habit, I was sure, and stared at Brendan’s room. I couldn’t believe it, but the light was on. Grinning, I reached up and flashed mine twice, and watched as he did his, too. Then we shut them out together.

I spent a long time that night staring at the ceiling, listening to the diesel-engine roar of the crane with the huge boom that had rolled into the Thomas’s backyard, and the huge rush of water when it pulled the car out. The creak of the shining red convertible strained against the straps, and there was a weird crunch of metal as it hit the bed of the tow-away truck. I wondered why Brendan’s dad hadn’t completely lost his shit when some stupid drunk kid busted his garage and drowned his Ferrari at some stupid birthday party he knew I would never have asked for.

not if you were to give me the world

The sun had just begun to poke in through my blinds when the text notification on my phone screamed in my ear. I didn’t know how I had possibly slept with the image of Mr. Thomas’s plum-faced rage, immediately followed by the weird lack thereof, running through my head. What was worst was how quietly upset Brendan had been.

The text message tone screamed in my ear again. “What the—?” I muttered before finally grabbing it, swiping the screen and glaring against the impossibly bright light that assaulted my eyes. Just one message, five words from Brendan. “If you’re up, call me?”

I groaned and sat up, wiping the sleep out of my eyes and willing my head to stop pounding. “Well, now I’m up,” I muttered, punching in his name and pressing the phone to my ear with one hand and tying my hair back with the elastic that was always around my wrist with the other.

“Hey, Ash,” he answered after the first ring. “We’re still going to breakfast, right?”

“I mean, yeah. Sure, I guess. If you’re up for it.” Brendan and I hadn’t missed many Saturday morning breakfasts, but he’d canceled yesterday’s to get ready for the party. I hadn’t been planning on him moving it to today.

“I know it’s Sunday, but I’m in if you are.”

“Are you even allowed to leave the house after last night? Is your dad still there?”

“No, he left again this morning. Can you meet me at Pamela’s, though? I have some stuff to do in town right after.”

I sighed, my head still fuzzy from sleep and putting together everything Brendan said. “Yeah, okay.”

Ω

Kristin dropped me off with strict orders to call her as soon as I needed her. I smiled and brandished my cell phone in recognition as I stepped out of the car. Brendan was already there, standing on the sidewalk, fidgeting against the cold. As I approached him, we looked at each other for a hard second. I didn’t smile. I didn’t know what kind of face to make, after last night. After what I’d learned.

“Hey,” I said, walking up to the sidewalk to meet him.

“Hey,” he said, with a soft smile.

For the first time in weeks, something felt kind of normal.

We slid into our booth and the waitress brought us a pot of coffee. Brendan poured for us both, nudging it over to me without cream or sugar. I had to love a guy who knew how I took my coffee, no matter how weird he acted.

Finally, I asked, in a low voice, “What happened last night?”

“What do you mean? You were there.”

I blew out a breath and shook my head, exasperated. “I mean, what happened with your dad? He should have been screaming and throwing shit and generally freaking out, but he was just so…”

“Not totally enraged? Yeah. It’s because of Sofia.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

Brendan sighed and looked down at his hands, which were folded together in the middle of the table. “Well, Vincent and Sofia, more accurately. Do you know why they’re here? In town?”

“Because Mansfield Prep’s such a good school. Yeah.” Because they’re hoping the name of the school will get them into college when they can’t get decent grades?

“Well, yeah. But why they’re in Pittsburgh in the first place.”

I shook my head slowly, drawing my eyebrows in. “I guess I never thought about it? I thought it was just coincidence that you met them on that cruise, I….do you know why they’re in Pittsburgh?”

Brendan leaned back in his chair and exhaled heavily. “You know Dad’s a real estate developer, a property manager, right?”

“Yeah. Which is why he’s always traveling everywhere, checking on his properties.”

“Right. Well, Sofia’s dad is here looking to open up a Bertram, Crawford, and Cole office in one of a few cities. Buffalo, Richmond, or Pittsburgh. The office would be huge. Forty attorneys, at least. He brought the family here for a year to feel it out, find clients. And if he settles on Pittsburgh….”

I sat back too, then. “Then your dad would be home a lot more while they developed the property.”

Brendan nodded and grabbed for the menu, even though he knew exactly what was on it.

“And be able to deal with your mom.”

“Yeah, and maybe get her some help? I don’t know.” His eyes looked wet again.

“And let you go to one of the schools you really want to go to.”

“Yeah, even though it’s getting kind of late for that. But yeah. Ideally.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with your dad not completely losing his shit when Hal drove his freaking Ferrari into your pool?”

“He partially lost his shit.”

I glared at him.

“Okay. So, the thing is, Dad wants to it to work out too. I know he’s never around, but he knows that Mom’s not doing well. He doesn’t want to be gone all the time. So…”

“If he screams at Vincent and Sofia, their dad isn’t happy, and puts the office in Buffalo instead.”

“Exactly.”

“And that’s also why you let her hassle you about the lacrosse team. And hang all over you.” As soon as I said it, my hand flew to my mouth. I couldn’t believe I’d actually said the words. I was just so happy that suddenly everything made some kind of sense.

“Do you really think she hangs all over me?”

All the relief I’d felt rushed right back out of my body. “Wait a minute. Do you like her?”

“She’s fine. Don’t you?”

“I…if you like fake, fawning, ridiculous girls, yeah, I guess she’s fine.”

“What makes you say she’s fake? Why wouldn’t she want to hang out with me?”

“Are you…oh, my God. That’s not what I meant, okay? I’m sorry.” Obviously I thought Brendan was cute enough for Sofia to want to hang out with him, and he was definitely popular. But the only real reason Sofia could have for wanting to hang out with the captain of the Mathletes instead of the captain of the lacrosse team was that he was rolling in it.

This was not the time to tell him that, though. Definitely not.

“Look, I never asked her out. We’re not together.”

“Have you thought of telling her that?”

“What are you talking about? She knows, okay? We’re just good friends.”

“You kids ready to order?” I realized the waitress was standing there, and wondered just how long she’d been watching me start to self-destruct.

“Yeah,” Brendan said, handing her the menus. “I’ll have the country breakfast with scrambled eggs, and she’ll have the banana stack.”

Hot tears pricked at the corners of my eyes—angry ones. He said he was letting Sofia hang all over him because of his dad’s job, but really he liked her. He must have. She was drop-dead gorgeous, and charming, and popular, and grew up exactly how he did—rich. Everything that was the opposite of what I was. She wasn’t afraid to be a normal high schooler, because she wasn’t afraid of being the next big victim of the popular kids’ scorn—she was one of them. If he was with her, he could be normal.

She was everything I wasn’t, everything I hated about Williamson, everything that terrified me. And she was trying to take away everything I loved about Mansfield.

And he still wanted to be with her. More than he wanted to be with me.

I stared at the linoleum tabletop instead of at him when I said, “Did you ever think that maybe I wouldn’t want the banana pancakes for once? Or maybe even that I could order for myself? I don’t need you for everything, you know.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, a cloud of flowery perfume descended on the table. I looked up and right into Sofia’s eyes.

“See, B?” She slid into the booth next to Brendan and stroked his arm, but her cool gaze was just for me. “She’s not upset about the party. And I knew she wouldn’t mind if I tagged along for breakfast. Like she just said—she’s just fine without you.”

My mouth gaped, and my gut felt like it was tearing itself apart. There were a hundred things I could say right now, but none of the ones that actually wanted to come out of my mouth were appropriate for a public place. So I just said, “I should go.”

I slid out of the booth—seriously, if there was ever a less delicate way to dramatically exit a dining situation, I couldn’t imagine it—and stalked out the front door, letting it swing shut behind me and rattling the bell that hung over it. I looked back through the window. Sofia had threaded her fingers through Brendan’s hair and was kissing him like her life depended on it. He didn’t even seem to notice I’d left.

She’d practically crawled into his lap and had both arms draped around him, but Brendan’s arms still rested on the back of the booth and the table. Maybe that meant something, maybe it didn’t. But right now all I could concentrate on was my trembling body and getting the hell out of there.

perplexity and agitation every way

Head down, hands shoved in my coat pockets, I fought the frigid wind sweeping off the Allegheny. It chilled me to the bone, but I had to get away from the huge picture windows of Pamela’s diner and the scene inside. The last thing I needed was Brendan and Sofia seeing the despair on my face as I tried to figure out what the hell to do with myself. I did a quick calculation—eighteen blocks from the house, just about four miles. Which wouldn’t have been too far, with perfect weather, but it wasn’t even eight o’clock on a November morning in Pittsburgh and I was already chilled to the bone.

Even though I wanted to just be alone all day long, I knew I had to call Kristin and Bruce. When I pulled out my phone, it was dead—I’d forgotten to charge it when I’d collapsed in bed the night before. The tears started to come back, and I swiped them away. Tear-shaped icicles on my face would not help matters any.

Really, the last thing I needed was to feel like a jerk or a drama queen for crying over banana pancakes and eighteen blocks when Brendan had just told me last night that his mom was an alcoholic and he was just trying to keep his head above water. No matter what he was doing with Sofia in our diner.

Eighteen blocks was nothing.

I stuck my head down and watched my feet flash in front of me, one in front of the other. Before I knew it, I’d be home.

I made it half a block before I heard the unmistakable sound of tires rolling up next to me. The sun glinted off the metal of the car and into my eyes. “Hey,” Vincent’s smooth tenor came from the window as it rolled down. “Can I give you a ride? It’s freezing.”

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. “You are pretty much the last person I want to see right now.” I stuck my head down and started walking again.

The car rolled up next to me again. “Hey. Hey, Ashley. Look, I’m sorry, okay? Last night was completely screwed up. You’ve gotta know, I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I just wanted a fun night with some good people and a great band. And your favorite cake.”