“I"m not here to talk about Cal.”
“Really?” She giggled again.
“If we could be serious here.” It was a losing battle and
he knew it. “About the case….” It was a familiar tactic, and
she got the same look in her eye that Cal always did, like it
was time Ray gave up the fight because she had all the time
in the world, and he was only going to exhaust himself. He
clenched his jaw anyway. “Look, you don"t trust me, the
police, but we caught him, and we will make sure you are
safe—
Audrey
is safe.”
His slight emphasis finally made her tilt her head and
pull her fingers from her mouth. She lifted her eyebrows
imperiously once again, but only for one second. Then she
gave him a soft smile.
“I would like that. I would like that very much. Audrey
is….” She sighed. “I did not know she had been married
before. Humans. I get so confused when they say they will
marry forever, and then it does not last. But he clearly
doesn"t deserve her. Maybe that"s why she didn"t mention it.”
“Maybe,” Ray agreed, but glanced down at his feet.
“She uses her maiden name, had all but forgotten him.
Even with such a short life. I would not forget
her
. You know,
Detective, no one else would ever put a fairy in charge of so
much. But she did, and I"ve never let her down.”
Ray couldn"t look away, not until her expression lit up
like the midday sun. “I don"t even mind that she doesn"t
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return all of my feelings, though I have made them clear.
Haven"t I made them clear?”
She was asking him. Ray let out an uncomfortable,
incredibly frustrated laugh that she ignored.
“Do you think I should be more obvious?”
He thought of Cal, in his bathroom, and of standing
there naked in front of him. Cal"s eyes had gone everywhere,
his mouth bold, his scent longing.
Take me.
Fairies. They were not subtle. If Nasreen had been
anywhere near that direct, it was a wonder that Audrey had
been able to ignore it. Unless you considered her clearly
disastrous first marriage and the understandable fear of
more heartbreak.
“I think she understands that you want her.” He
coughed dryly. He should not be having this conversation.
This was really none of his business. But Nasreen turned to
him.
“But then why?” And it was too close to what Cal had
asked. Ray walked to the door, to go home, except he was
aware that he still wouldn"t sleep. Not the kind he needed,
safe with his mate. Cal"s scent on an old towel wasn"t going
to work much longer. If only fairies could understand.
Nasreen couldn"t even understand marriage.
He stopped. “Why?”
“Sometimes I think she… why would she deny what
would make us both happy?”
“You should, really.” He was not doing this. This wasn"t
why he was here. “Isn"t there anyone else? Why don"t you
ask her?”
“I don"t want to frighten her.” Of course she wasn"t
ashamed to answer. “Why don"t you ask Cal?”
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Demanding, “Ask him what?” would have been a lie, and
Ray couldn"t do that to her. Her eyes were wide and shining.
On Cal, the look would have made him suspicious. He knew
he shouldn"t say anything to her, because she could tell Cal,
but the words came out anyway. “He"s not the one saying no.
Look, I should go. I"m glad you"re feeling better.”
“I didn"t think you"d be so nice. And stupid.”
Ray stopped by the door and jerked back around.
“Excuse me?”
“She makes me so happy. More than happy. Audrey
makes me
warm
. Being around her is like everything good.
Do you know what I mean? Happy?”
Ray froze.
Happy.
Ray was starting to think that that word meant
something to a fairy. Something different than it should. He
swallowed.
“She makes you that… feel like that?”
It wasn"t his business, but…. He yanked at the knot in
his tie, pulled it loose.
“Are you around humans a lot?” Nasreen shook her
head, but Ray already knew the answer. He rubbed at his
nose, his hot cheeks, then sighed. “The thing is, humans
don"t look at the world the way you do when…” When your
mate could be anyone, when you live an impossibly long
time. “…when you"re Fairy.” Who didn"t exactly make
distinctions between sexes and didn"t see why anyone else
would. It was the
person
they wanted. Conventions, rules,
etiquette only tended to confuse them. It was similar to the
way they often would, or wouldn"t, wear whatever clothing
struck their fancy.
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He"d gone to a fairy parade once when he"d been a beat
cop, had found it beautiful and confusing and hypnotizing:
the music, the bodies spinning around him. He had looked
up once, across the court, to lock gazes with a fairy in a
purple tutu, too far away for even Ray"s eyes to see much
more than his small wings and the pure joy in every
movement. The moment had stayed with him for weeks
afterward.
He cleared his throat.
“They also don"t live….” Nasreen"s gaze was so intent on
him. “They place such importance on what they do get, and
they fear spending their time hurt and in pain….”
“I would never hurt her.”
“Does she know that?” He stopped at the harshness in
his voice, then coughed and tried to banish it. “Look, the
Fairy are something else. Different from the rest of us.”
She was giving him a strange look, and Ray was aware
that he"d compared himself to the humans, but in this
instance he felt it right.
“For them, this, for her… it"s probably frightening. She
needs to know… what it means… if it"s worth it for her to
risk so much. Crap. Just….” Penn should really be doing
this. Or Cal, though he didn"t want to know what Cal would
say.
That was a lie. Yes he did. Too much.
He wanted to pace. He"d never felt so large and out of
place. But her eyes wouldn"t let him move.
“They also…. It"s difficult to think that someone like you
would ever be interested in something that doesn"t
shine
.”
Surely she knew what he was saying. “That you"d want her
for that long.” He growled, then bit it off. His face was
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burning. Nasreen only stared at him for a few moments
longer.
“They don"t see things as we do,” she said again, almost
sadly, but this time when her eyes sparkled Ray thought it
was for him. “You—they—see too much with their eyes. To
me, to us, you shine so much it nearly hurts to look at you.
Like fireworks. It"s a vision of what you are, what you could
mean to me if I did not burn for someone else.”
Ray jerked his head up.
“You don"t understand that?” She seemed confused. Ray
frowned. If he closed his eyes, Cal smelled like…. He
straightened.
“You should explain that to her, if it"s true,” he said at
last, to get those eyes off him.
“You matchmaker,” she mocked, or teased, he wasn"t
really sure, but it didn"t matter because then what he was
really saying seemed to sink in. “Oh you
are
a big softie!”
There was a brief moment of silence, and then a starburst of
glitter and light that left him a little dazed.
“You think she loves me!” Nasreen"s lips parted in
wonder. Ray shook his head and wrinkled his nose, because
he didn"t
think
that, he knew it. “Should I talk to her? What
should I say? Everything. I"ll just say everything. She has to
believe me, right?”
“Fairies don"t lie,” Ray managed, scratching his nose,
and then suddenly Nasreen was on him, fluttering up in the
air to kiss his cheeks, her sparkle and scent alarmingly
close.
“There you are,” she told him, amazed. “Just like he
said. If I didn"t need Audrey,” she promised, pressing one
kiss to his mouth, long and sweet.
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“I… have to—” was all she managed before slamming
out the door in just her short robe and leaving Ray in her
house while she ran off to her Audrey.
He doubted Audrey could refuse her much longer
anyway, and though Nasreen seemed convinced it would
last, even if it didn"t, for a while they
would
both be blissfully
happy.
Ray watched her go and then let out a small, quiet
laugh, more envious than amused. Then he closed her door
firmly behind him and went home to dream of what Cal saw
when he looked at him, not that he could ask.
HE TOLD Penelope Cal"s theory the first moment he saw her
the next day. On the chance it was true, she had to know.
He ran it by the captain too, when Murphy demanded a
status update and got a scowl and a complaint about
increasing his heartburn.
The heartburn was actually likely due to the chili dog
with onions on his breath, though Ray hadn"t commented on
that. Murphy had scowled even harder at him anyway, and
then asked him to repeat himself. Yes, there was a possibility
that there were more than two killings that were connected,
and though Ray wasn"t going to say the words “serial killer,”
there was a theory that the killings were somehow connected
to him. Ray still preferred to think it was some sort of
vigilante. That meant it might be a batshit lunatic, but at
least the motive wouldn"t be personal.
Of course, personal was exactly what Cal had said at
the first scene, and Ray couldn"t help thinking it again when
he and Penn got called to another crime scene.
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Could be trolls, they"d debated halfheartedly in the car.
Trolls were strong and hated humans. Of course they also
hated cities, and it didn"t explain the chalk, but the
discussion helped clear their thoughts.
It was a shame there was no obvious link between the
victims—victim
s
because yes, they"d expanded their interest
to the two dead men that Cal had mentioned—except for the
rather vague commonality of them being either criminals or a
criminal lawyer. Or perhaps there was a link, but Ray hadn"t
had enough coffee to find it.
Goddamn protection spell hadn"t let him drink his coffee
until it had been ice cold and he
hated
cold coffee. He was
going to kill those idiots and had said so, repeatedly, to
Penelope. At least Benedict wasn"t that skilled, she"d
reasoned back at him, smiling. The spell should wear off in a
day.
As he walked into the scene, he was actually grateful
that he hadn"t had a lot of coffee. The scene was stomach
turning, even for a wolf. The smell had hit him by the car.
Blood and shit. Acrid fear, leftover adrenaline. Metal and
something new, burning.
The body itself was so torn up it looked like it had been
ripped apart. Possibly by teeth, definitely by claws. Ray took
it all in and then turned a look on the M.E. that made her
flinch.
“This is priority.” When he"d turned that look on the cop
who"d first responded, he"d flinched too, but Penn had
smiled for him to calm the kid down, Tim, their rookie from
the other night, and then they"d gotten his statement.
Answered the call from the neighbor about the screaming.
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No sign of forced entry or a disturbance, though the door
had been unlocked. Then this.
The neighbor, of course, had waited hours before calling
the police. In this neighborhood they were lucky for that.
Because Tim looked ill, Ray had summoned up a smile
for him too, and then dismissed him before striding the rest
of the way into the room, peering down at the face.
“I know him.”
“Yeah, me too.” Penelope looked, then walked through
the dingy kitchenette and small living room. “Perry, right?
Perry Paladino. Armed robbery. Paroled.”
“This is sick, Penn.” He shook his head and put his
hands in his suit pockets for a moment when they wanted to
become paws, when he wanted claws and to find out who