Some kind of wonderful (33 page)

"Jack—" *

She reached out one hand to him, but he shook his head, determined to say it all. To get it all out into the open where they could look at it, together.

"When you're an ass for that stretch of time, it gets to be second nature," he said and stalked past Quinn, ignoring the dog's curious whine. "You don't remember being any other way and maybe you don't want to remember." He whirled around and looked at her. "I didn't. It was easier to just crawl into that black hole and stay there,

snarling and growling at anyone who got too close ."

Carol inhaled slowly, deeply, then let the air slide from her lungs. But she didn't interrupt and he was grateful. Damn, he wished he could remember the speech.

"When I came back here, to Christmas, I figured I'd be here a few weeks, then leave again. Hadn't planned on staying. Didn't figure I deserved to be here anymore."

"That's so dumb—"

He held up one hand and gave her a tight smile. "I believe I already covered the 'pain in the ass' thing."

"Right" She sat down on the arm of the chair and gently rocked Liz. "Go on."

"Then I met you." He smiled again and shrugged helplessly. "It was over for me the minute I saw you."

"You hid it well."

"Yeah. I did." He stalked across the room and stopped in front of her. Taking hold of her upper arms, he drew her to her feet and looked down into her eyes, losing himself in the golden shine of them. '1 didn't want to love you, Carol. Thought I could get away clean and retreat to the shadows again."

"Love?" She squeezed that one word out, but it cost her. Tears she'd been holding inside escaped the corners of her eyes and trailed along her cheeks. "You love me?"

"I do. Jesus, I really do." He lifted one hand to skim the backs of his fingers across her cheek. "I love you so much it rattles me. You turned me inside out and sideways, Carol. Made me want things I'd told myself I'd never have again. Made me want you so bad I could hardly see straight. And you made me question everything I'd been telling myself for two years. You forced me to remember what it was like to be really alive and to want to feel that way again."

Carol's legs buckled, so she locked her knees to stay

upright. The scent of cinnamon was rich and full and she sucked it down deep inside her and stored it as a memory. Snow and Christmas trees and music and ... Jack. Always, Jack. She kept her gaze locked with his and let herself believe.

"I watched the tape."

She frowned, confused. "What tape?"

"The tape of the shooting," he said. "It was in that box that was delivered to me."

"Oh, God, Jack..."

"It's okay," he said quickly, with a shake of his head. "I had to see the past, come to terms with it, before I could see a future."

"What did you see?" she asked, trying to keep a tight rein on the wild surge of hope and expectation that built steadily inside her.

"That it wasn't my fault," he said simply. "It just happened. It was a tragedy, but it wasn't my fault."

"I'm so glad, Jack." She stared up into his eyes and felt a jolt of surprise as she read peace in those shady blue depths. He wasn't haunted anymore. He'd found his way out of the darkness and then he'd come to her.

"I straightened out a few other things, too," he was saying, and Carol told herself to pay attention. "Went to see Ed Thompson."

"The sheriff?"

"Not anymore," Jack said and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "I'm the new sheriff. Recommended by Ed and duly appointed by the city council."

"Permanently?"

"Well, until the next election," he admitted. "I hear Ken Slater's thinking about running for sheriff next time."

"He'll never beat you."

"That's what I think."

He grinned at her and the full power of that smile slammed into her with the force of a line drive hardball to the stomach.

"There's more," he added while Carol's head was still spinning.

"What's left?" It was all so good. So wonderful. Her heartbeat was doing a fast two-step and even her blood felt as though it was dancing through her veins.

"I went and talked to Lacey."

She took a breath and held it. "About what?"

"She handpicked you to be her daughter's mother," Jack said, his voice a low rumble of sound that sidled up and down her spine like goose bumps. "I wanted to see if she had a problem with me being Lizardbaby's father."

"Oh, Jack." Carol lifted one hand to her mouth and stared at him. He was all blurry, though, so she blinked and cleared the tears away to see him better.

"I want us to be a family, Carol. The four of us. And however many more we have."

LIT 95

"Before you say anything—I'm not saying I'll never be a pain in the ass again," he warned her, "but I figure you know how to handle that."

She laughed. "I do."

"Remember those words," he said, grinning now. "Mostly though, I want you to know that I will love you forever. And I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you're not sorry about loving me."

"Oh, God." Carol stood up, suddenly unable to sit still. She clutched Liz to her like a life preserver and looked up at the man who had changed so much in her life.

He dipped into his jeans pocket and drew out a small red velvet box.

"Jack—" Carol held her breath and looked from the closed box to his gaze.

"Marry me, Carol/' he said and opened the box to display an antique ring—a ruby center with a spray of diamonds surrounding it. "Build a family with me. Build a future—for all of us."

Staring up into those blue eyes that had devastated her from the very first, she knew she'd finally found the love, the life, the home she'd always dreamed of. She swallowed hard and said, "You know, when I first brought Liz home—when I first rented the apartment to you ... I was sure it was all some kind of mistake."

"And now?"

"Now.. " Carol smiled and felt her heart actually lift in her chest. "Now, I'm sure it's all some kind of wonderful"

He blew out a breath. "So that's a yes?"

"I do love you," she said, hearing her voice break slightly with the weight of emotion pressing down on her. "And I will marry you—"

He grinned and reached for her.

She held up one hand.

"On one condition."

"Name it"

"We go downstairs and you build Liz and me a snowman."

"You've got a deal, lady." He grabbed her close, wrapped his arms around both her and Lizardbaby, and then dipped his head for a kiss that tasted of promises.

And that year, for Carol, Christmas came in August.

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