Authors: Ellie Dean
‘You don’t get rid of me that easily,’ she replied through the lump in her throat. She looked up at him, feeling safe in the crook of his arm. ‘So, how come you aren’t on duty?’
He looked away from her to the other people on the ward. ‘I’ve got some leave owing, so Commander Black gave me permission to take it now you’re awake and with us again,’ he said casually.
Kitty eyed him suspiciously. ‘You’ve been grounded, haven’t you? What happened, Freddy?’
He removed his arm and returned to the bedside chair, digging in his pocket for his cigarettes. As if playing for time, he lit the cigarette and made a show of shifting the ashtray about on the bedside cabinet.
‘Freddy?’
‘All right,’ he replied on a sigh. ‘Commander Black grounded me for a couple of days after a bit of an incident. But it was nothing for you to worry about, and I’ll be back on ops tomorrow, so there’s no harm done.’
‘What incident?’
He refused to meet her gaze, playing with his cigarette. ‘We were coming back from a raid on the German factories in Lille. I was dog-tired and lost my concentration for a minute. There was a bit of a sea-mist and the Dover cliffs . . .’ He shot her one of his boyish grins. ‘I pulled up in time, and here I am. It was nothing to make a fuss about.’
Kitty’s heart was thudding painfully against her ribs as she realised she’d nearly lost him. ‘It’s time you stopped flying, Freddy,’ she said sternly. ‘You’ve done more ops than anyone could ever expect of you – and you’re getting careless.’
‘Can’t do it, old thing,’ he replied airily. ‘My chaps depend on me, and I’m not going to let them down because my little sister is dishing out orders.’
‘Of all the pig-headed, stubborn idiots,’ she breathed crossly.
He patted her fingers peeking out from the plaster cast. ‘Don’t worry about me, Kitty. You just concentrate on getting better, and leave me to get on with what I’m good at.’
Kitty was about to give him a good piece of her mind when they were interrupted by one of the NAAFI girls, who was carrying two cups of tea.
Young and rather plain, she blushed scarlet as Freddy hurried to relieve her of the cups and shot her a beaming smile. ‘You must be delighted to see your sister looking so well, Wing Commander Pargeter,’ she simpered.
‘That I am, Maureen, and I appreciate your concern as well as your scrummy tea and biscuits.’ His smile was just for her, his very blue eyes looking deeply into her grey ones.
‘Ooh,’ she breathed as she went a deeper scarlet. ‘You are a one, Wing Commander.’ With a giggle and an added sway of her hips, she reluctantly went to serve the rest of the patients and their visitors.
Kitty eyed him with fond exasperation. ‘Scrummy tea and biscuits? Honestly, Freddy, you really are the limit.’
‘But I made her smile, and that’s the important thing,’ he said as he dunked the stale biscuit into the very weak tea. ‘It doesn’t hurt to brighten someone’s day.’
‘I don’t know how Charlotte can stand it when you flirt with every woman in the room,’ she said on a sigh.
‘She knows I like women, but that I love her – and only her,’ he replied. ‘By the way,’ he added casually as he finished the biscuit. ‘You’d better hurry up and get out of that bed. We’re getting married in December, and you’re to be the bridesmaid.’
‘Really? Oh, Freddy, that’s wonderful!’
He grinned. ‘Yes, it is rather, isn’t it? I’m a very lucky man.’
He put down the cup and saucer as the ward sister rang her little bell to warn that visiting time was over. ‘I’ll come and see you again as soon as I can,’ he said as he tucked his peaked hat beneath his arm. ‘But it will depend on what ops I’m on. Charlotte should be in within the next few days, so you’ll be able to chatter on about wedding dresses, or whatever it is you women find to talk about.’
‘Promise you won’t worry about me, Freddy. I’m well, as you can see, and will get better every day from now on.’
‘Take care, Kitty Cat,’ he said as he softly kissed her brow. ‘You might be a pain in the neck and a ruddy nuisance most of the time, but you’re the only sister I’ve got and I want you at my wedding.’
Kitty could have sworn she saw a glimmer of tears in his blue eyes as he donned his hat and turned to leave. ‘Fly safe, Freddy,’ she said through a tight throat. ‘And don’t be a ruddy hero.’
He looked over his shoulder, shot her a wink and a grin and then was gone.
Kitty lay there for some time after his footsteps had faded, the warm tears rolling down her battered face to soak the pillow. She had no idea why she was crying and could only put it down to the strong medicine she was on, and the fact that she was exhausted after what had turned out to be quite a day.
IT WAS NOW
almost ten o’clock and everyone had gone upstairs, including Suzy who’d come home bright-eyed and radiant after her day with Anthony. Peggy had seen that Cordelia was settled in her bed with her book and reading glasses, and had gone back downstairs to check on Daisy, who was still fast asleep in her cot, her thumb plugged into her mouth.
Peggy kissed the warm cheek and breathed in the wonderful scent of new skin and baby powder before adjusting the sheet over her little shoulders. Leaving the door ajar, she went back into the kitchen and settled down at the table to write another long letter to Jim.
Half an hour later she was disturbed by a soft voice. ‘Peggy?’
She looked up to see Sarah standing in the doorway in her dressing gown with her lovely hair tumbling to her shoulders, her eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘What is it, love?’ she asked as she rushed to her side. ‘Aren’t you feeling well?’
‘Oh, Peggy, I can’t sleep,’ she said as she dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief and sat down at the table. ‘I keep thinking about Philip and Pops, and remembering that last time I saw them on the docks in Singapore as we were about to sail. I lie there with the thoughts going round and round in my head, worrying about what’s happened to them.’
Peggy grasped her hands. ‘I can’t begin to imagine what you must be going through,’ she said softly, ‘and there’s so little I can do to help, I feel absolutely useless.’
‘I try to keep my worries from Jane, but poor Mother’s frantic,’ Sarah said as more tears slid down her face. ‘We’ve heard the most awful rumours, but nothing we can really rely on as any kind of truth – nothing that might at least give us a bit of hope that they’re both still alive.’ She looked up at Peggy, her anguish clear in her tear-streaked face. ‘Why will no one tell us anything?’
Peggy had long suspected that the old adage of ‘no news was good news’ was far off the mark when it came to the Japanese invasion of the Far East, but that was not something Sarah needed to hear right now.
‘I’ve talked to the people at the Red Cross, and Martin and I discussed your situation only this afternoon,’ she said carefully. ‘Sarah, darling, the Japanese are refusing to let the Red Cross have any access to their POW records. And as the whole of that area is now in enemy hands, it’s impossible for anyone to find out what has been happening.’
‘Then how will we ever know? Why are they being so secretive? Surely they have to abide by the Geneva conventions like everyone else?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Peggy helplessly. ‘One would have thought so, but it seems they’re a law unto themselves. Martin reckons that as time goes on news will start to filter out in letters smuggled by local fishermen, or through the Chinese merchants, who have numerous lines of outside contact through their businesses.’
‘But the Japanese hate the Chinese,’ Sarah replied. ‘And they’ve probably put them all into prison by now.’ She blew her nose and dried her eyes. ‘Oh, Peggy, I just can’t see an end to it,’ she sighed. ‘I worry and worry, and try to believe that I’ll see Pops and Philip again, but the waiting for news is unbearable.’
‘You’ve done very well up to now,’ said Peggy as she lit their cigarettes. ‘I know what a strain it’s been for you to keep hopeful for Jane, and your mother would be very proud of you. But there will be times, like now, when you need to have a jolly good cry and get it all out of your system.’ She lovingly tucked the girl’s hair behind her ear. ‘So don’t be ashamed of those tears, or think you’re being weak. We all have our fears, and we all cry – even strong, brave men like Martin.’
Sarah looked at her in surprise.
Peggy nodded. ‘This war isn’t just being fought on the battlefields and in the air, Sarah, but in our hearts and minds. And we must shed our tears and swallow our terrors, and grow strong in the knowledge that we are not alone.’
‘Oh, Peggy,’ Sarah sighed. ‘You’re so wise.’
Peggy laughed. ‘No, I’m not. I’ve just been listening to too many of Mr Churchill’s wonderful speeches.’ She left the table and put the big tin kettle on the hob. ‘Now, why don’t I make us a nice cup of tea before you go back up to bed?’
Sarah gave a watery smile and nodded. ‘Thanks, Peggy. I don’t know how any of us would manage without having you to turn to.’
Peggy’s smile faltered as she busied herself with cups and saucers. There were times when she cried into her pillow until she thought her heart would break. Times when the fear for her family became so strong she was weakened by it – but as long as she had breath in her body, nobody would ever know.
It was now past eleven o’clock and there was still no sign of Fran. Peggy sat in the light of the range fire, her eyelids drooping with weariness. At least Sarah had gone back to bed feeling a bit more able to cope with the stresses and strains of trying to shield her younger sister from her fears, but Peggy no longer had the energy to continue writing her long letter to Jim tonight. She would do it sometime tomorrow.
‘What the divil are ye doing sitting here in the dark?’ exclaimed Ron as he tramped up the cellar steps half an hour later and switched on the light.
She was about to reply when Harvey shot past Ron and hurtled across the kitchen towards her. ‘Get off,’ she spluttered as he trampled his great paws in her lap and tried to lick her face.
‘Harvey, sit, you heathen beast,’ ordered Ron. ‘To be sure, you’re too big to be sitting in Peggy’s lap.’
Harvey slumped to the floor where he lay with his nose on his paws and gave the impression that his feelings had been mortally wounded by Peggy’s rejection.
Peggy repented and stroked his soft head. ‘You’re a lovely boy, and I appreciate the warm welcome.’ She reached across to the tin of digestives and he sat up, ears pricked, alert and waiting for the treat he knew was coming.
The stale biscuit went down without touching the sides and Peggy laughed. ‘There are no more, you greedy old thing. Now lie down and behave.’
‘So,’ said Ron, as he took off his one decent jacket and hung it on the back of a chair. ‘Why were you sitting in the dark?’
‘I’m waiting for Fran to come home. She went out with some Yank in a big flash car this morning and hasn’t been seen since.’
‘Oh, aye? Her mother will be having something to say to that, so she will. Fran was raised in a strict Catholic household.’
‘I’m rather hoping her mother won’t get to hear about it at all,’ Peggy said flatly. ‘Fran’s obviously had her head turned, and if I don’t nip it in the bud now . . . Well, you know where these things can lead.’
‘Aye, I do,’ he sighed. ‘But to give the wee girl her due, she’s never done something like this before. She has a good head on her shoulders, Peggy. Don’t go jumping to conclusions just because she’s a bit late for once.’
‘It’s after eleven and she has an early shift starting at seven tomorrow morning,’ she said crossly. ‘It’s irresponsible, and I don’t appreciate her making me worry like this.’
‘Ach, to be sure, Peggy, you worry about everything – and I’m suspecting you quite enjoy it.’ He must have noted her glare, for he dipped his chin. ‘Well, I’ll be off to me bed then,’ he muttered. ‘Come on, Harvey.’
Peggy watched them leave the kitchen. As Ron closed the door behind them, she got up to turn the light off again. Returning to her chair she glanced at the clock and decided it wouldn’t hurt to have a little doze while she waited for Fran to come home.
The soft click of the front door closing woke her instantly, and before Fran had time to get past the second stair, Peggy was in the hall. ‘And what time do you call this?’ she snapped.
‘Well now, I’m thinking it’s a wee bit late,’ she giggled as she clung to the newel post in an effort to keep her balance. ‘I’m sorry, Peggy, but I was having such a wonderful time that I forgot to look at my watch.’
‘In the kitchen. Now.’
‘Ach, Peggy, I’m needing me bed. I’ve an early shift in less than seven hours.’
Peggy grabbed her arm, dragged her off the stairs and across the hall into the kitchen where she plonked her down into a chair. ‘You’re drunk,’ she said crossly.
Fran rubbed her arm and pouted. ‘To be sure I’ve had a wee drop or two, but there’s no need to be so rough,’ she protested.
Peggy turned on the kitchen light, and as Fran blinked in the sudden brightness, Peggy knew there had been rather more than drinking going on tonight. Fran’s copper curls were in disarray, the top two buttons on her dress were fastened in the wrong order, and her mascara was as smudged as her lipstick.
Without a word, Peggy put the kettle back on. She’d get no sense out of the girl until she’d sobered up. Once the old tea leaves had been stirred back into frail life, she poured two cups and went to sit at the table. ‘Drink that,’ she ordered.
‘I don’t want it,’ muttered Fran.
‘You will drink it, whether you want it or not,’ she said quietly. ‘And then you are going to tell me where you’ve been, who that American was, and what you’ve been doing until gone midnight.’
‘Will you be listening to yourself, Peggy? Ach, bejesus, you’re sounding just like me mam.’
‘Good, because that’s exactly what I am all the time you live in this house, and I’ll thank you to give me the same respect.’
Fran drank the tea and then sulkily clattered the empty cup in the saucer. ‘Satisfied? Can I go to bed now?’
Peggy poured another cup and pushed it towards her. ‘When you’ve finished that and answered my questions,’ she said sternly.