Authors: Jasmine Haynes
“Say it again. Say it’s only me.”
He slid out, then drove back in, hitting a spot high and deep that made her
gasp.
“Only you, Jace.”
Then he pulled her leg to his
waist, intensified the angle of his thrusts and pushed her until she screamed.
He shouted her name, pulsing inside her, then let his arms collapse.
She took his full weight, breathing
hard, hugging him close. She wrapped both legs around his hips and both arms
around his neck. “Don’t move, please don’t move. Stay like this, please.”
Stay like this with me forever.
* * * * *
Jace knew he was crushing her, but
she wouldn’t let him go, her grip on him tight and all-consuming.
She’d screamed, she’d begged, she’d
whispered he was the only one, only him. At least that’s how he heard it.
I am so glad it was you, Jace.
Nobody else. Just you.
Isn’t that what her words meant?
Only you. Just you. Nobody else. Shit. He didn’t know what she meant. Could
have been nothing more than she was glad she picked someone who knew his way around
a woman’s body.
Shit.
He eased off slightly, holding
himself on his elbows to let her breathe. Why was he ruining what they’d done
together?
“You okay down there?”
Her eyes still closed, she smiled.
“I’m more than okay. What time is it?”
He pulled out and rolled off.
“Hey.”
“Sorry, my arms were breaking.”
Something was breaking, and it wasn’t his arms. He angled his watch to the
light. “It’s a little past nine-thirty.”
“I was late getting here. I’m
sorry.”
He turned to peel off the damn
condom. What was he supposed to do with it except litter? He tossed it in the
lake with a plop.
Was it good for you, Taylor?
Jesus. That was a female line. He’d knew it had been good for her. But was it
good enough?
“You’re mad.”
He pulled up his pants, wishing
he’d taken them all the way off to feel her skin against every inch, and
flopped back down beside her. “How could I be mad, Taylor? That was the best.”
She was gorgeous in the moonlight.
A slight breeze caressing her hair, her skin all dewy and sweet, her dress rumpled
around her sides and thighs, her body bare and beautiful.
“It was the best,” she agreed.
Can we do it again? Soon?
Christ, if he said it, he’d sound
like an adolescent.
“You better go.” Before he begged.
“You don’t want to be late picking up the boys.”
She rose to her knees,
straightening her dress, buttoning up. Then she stood, looked at him. “Thank
you, Jace.”
Rising to her, he closed his eyes,
waiting, aching.
Say it won’t be the last time. Please.
But she didn’t utter a word.
He opened his eyes to find her
backing away. He wanted her to stay just a little longer. But ten o’clock was
closing in fast. If she left now, she’d make it back to his parents’ with five
minutes to spare. Maybe. She turned at the side of her van, lingered a moment,
then climbed in. Leaning over, she checked her makeup and hair in the rearview
mirror. Fixing herself, wiping away the traces of his lovemaking.
Then she closed the door, the dome
light went off, and he couldn’t see her anymore as she backed out and turned
the minivan around.
His heart ached as her taillights
disappeared at the bend in the road.
Taylor had left Jace standing on
the blanket with the moonlight through the trees flickering over his hard face.
Shirtless, his pants over his hips but undone.
She’d wanted so badly to go back,
to beg for one more time. How could she give up something as wonderful as what
they’d done?
But she had to. She couldn’t fall
in love with him. What they’d shared tonight was as much as she could ask for.
One glorious week.
She pulled off to the side of the
road in a dark spot, snapped on her bra, then rolled on her panties. She
couldn’t pick up Brian and Jamey naked underneath the dress.
Her body was more than satisfied.
Yet something didn’t feel right. Something was missing. Something terribly
important. Maybe if she’d had fifteen minutes more to lie in his arms.
Afterglow. Instead, this felt like aftermath.
The lights at the Jackson house
were blazing when she pulled into the driveway. Evelyn would have let the kids
stay up since it was Friday, no school tomorrow and because Taylor wasn’t going
to be late. She checked her lipstick once more and smoothed her hair. She found
a blade of grass and pulled it out.
Closing her eyes, she breathed
deeply and smelled Jace’s clean scent all over again. He said she drove him
nuts. Well, he drove her crazy. She’d done things no mother of two growing boys
should do with her brother-in-law. And she could never ask for it again.
The kids were bouncing off the
walls when she walked in. Evelyn had been feeding them sodas and cookies again.
Taylor smiled brightly. “Hey, guys,
were you good for Nana and Grandpa?”
“Like little lambs.” Evelyn beamed.
“Yeah, right,” Taylor scoffed. Her
little hooligans? “Time to go, get your things.” Which meant bags of toys,
video games, a couple of battle tanks. Arthur bent on one knee helping.
“How did it go?” Evelyn asked as
they watched the kids pick up their stuff.
“Fine. Like I said, it was a
checkup. He’s doing fine.” Was she supposed to meet Brian’s teacher or Jamey’s?
Lord.
“Bri’s a good boy. He’ll be fine.”
Brian. “Yeah. He’s going to be
fine.”
“Jace taking them out sometimes
really helps,” Evelyn added.
Her heart stuttered, then slammed
in her chest. “Yeah. Jace has been great.” Her mouth dried up, and she couldn’t
look at Evelyn. Why did her mother-in-law bring Jace up now?
The boys bounced over to her, and
she ruffled each head. “Kiss Nana and Grand-pa goodbye.”
Arthur gave them each his usual
bear hug.
“Thanks for having them. We’ll see
you on Sunday.”
The kids scampered out to the car.
“That’s a pretty dress, Taylor,”
Evelyn called.
Taylor looked over her shoulder.
Evelyn smiled. Not her usual big smile, a small one. Almost sad.
“Thanks.” It was all Taylor could
think of to say.
First that bit about Jace and the
boys, then a comment on her dress.
Liars and sneaks. They always came
to a bad end.
* * * * *
On Saturday, she took the boys
hiking in the county park.
“Am I still in trouble at school,
Mom?”
“No, Brian. Why would you think
that?” Taylor swung out the stick she’d found along the path, pushing up the
short hill while Jamey scampered ahead looking for arrowheads.
“If I’m not in trouble, why’d you
have to meet my teacher?”
Lord. She was a bad, bad mother.
She hadn’t told him the lie, couldn’t bear repeating it, but obviously Evelyn
had mentioned where she was going.
“It was a checkup. You weren’t
worried, were you?” She put her hand on his head as they walked. “I’m sorry,
Bri.”
“Was it Mr. Henderson?”
“Yes.” For a split second, she
couldn’t remember a single name. Henderson was as good as any.
“But I saw Mr. Henderson at school
on Friday. Nana said he was out of town, and that’s why you had to meet him so
late.”
Brian wasn’t questioning her or
doubting her. But he was a brooder. And he’d been brooding over what his
teacher was going to tell her about him. She’d been very foolish. And selfish.
She bent down, taking her son’s
arms. “He said you were a wonderful student. He wanted me to know how proud of
you he is.”
He blinked sad, brown eyes. Sometimes
her little guy seemed much older and much younger than his ten years. “Truth?”
“I wouldn’t lie about a thing like
that, Bri. Not ever.” She was filled with lies and ached with guilt. “Give me a
hug,” she whispered, almost crying when his arms went around her neck.
Then suddenly all better, like
little boys could be in the blink of an eye, he rushed after his brother.
Taylor told herself the lies were
over. But she couldn’t stop the rush of warmth that came with a sudden image of
Jace.
* * * * *
Later in the afternoon, Jace
stopped by to take the boys out for pizza. They’d climbed all over him like
monkeys, and he appeared to enjoy every minute of it. She’d always appreciated
how good he was with the boys. They missed their dad, but Jace did a good job
filling the void. Today, her heart ached watching them. She wanted to beg to go
along, but it was a guy thing. Moms weren’t allowed. That had never bothered
her before.
After all the activity, the boys
had tumbled into bed almost as soon as they got home. Jace hadn’t even come
inside, simply watched them from his truck as they barreled into the house,
then he drove away. They hadn’t exchanged a word about last night.
She went to bed at midnight, but
sleep wouldn’t come. Had Jace gone to Saddle-n-Spurs after he dropped off the
boys? Had he met a woman, taken her home?
She was going crazy in the dark.
She had to stop thinking about him. Rolling over, she tucked the pillow beneath
her cheek. A dog barked in a neighbor’s yard. A car passed in the street. She rolled
again, this time lying flat on her back.
When she closed her eyes, the soft
breeze through the window caressed her face like Jace’s fingers. She kicked the
covers off and imagined his touch between her legs. Oh God.
The digital clock flipped to twelve-thirty.
The portable phone lay on the night table. She grabbed it and hugged it to her
chest. She wouldn’t call. It was over.
It had to be over.
She’d called him a hundred times.
For this and that. She’d never worried or hesitated before. Before, she didn’t
carry the memory of him inside her.
She’d promised herself she wouldn’t
make love with him again. She’d promised she wouldn’t lie to her boys. And now
she was in danger of breaking that less-than-twelve-hour-old promise.
When she pushed the talk button,
the numbers lit up. Biting her lip, she hesitated. She dialed the first three,
hung up. But she couldn’t put the phone back on the night-stand. This time she
dialed all the numbers and let it ring.
* * * * *
He jumped on the phone when it
rang, praying it was her.
“Jace?”
“Yeah.” He’d chased her, begged
her, cajoled her, waited for her, and now she was calling him. Sooner than he’d
hoped. His heart was so high in his throat, he almost couldn’t speak.
“I wanted to thank you for last
night.”
“You did thank me. And it was my
pleasure.” Pleasure that had lasted only until she’d asked the time. That one
act on her part had ridden him like a sore that wouldn’t heal. “It’s late.
Where are the boys?”
“They’re asleep.”
Duh. “Where are you?”
“In bed.”
Silence. He could hear her
breathing. A deep inhale, then a long sigh. Why had she called?
“What are you wearing?” He almost
hated himself for asking, but he had to know.
“A T-shirt.”
“And?” Panties? Or was she bare?
“That’s all.” Then finally, she
added, “No panties.”
Ah, Christ. He wanted—needed—to be
there, beside her in her bed. Touching her. Making her come with his fingers,
his tongue, and his cock.
“Touch yourself for me, Taylor.”
“Jace. This is crazy. It’s not why
I called.”
“Isn’t it?”
She exhaled. He felt it all the way
to his cock.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have
called. I just wanted to—”
“Wanted to what, Taylor? Tell me
that one more time would be okay? Just one more?” He was angry and hard,
wanting more than just her voice over the phone.
She sighed. “I’ve rationalized that
it was okay if it was only on the phone.”
He squeezed his eyes tightly shut
against the ache in his heart. One more time would never be enough. The phone
wasn’t enough. He had to face that he wanted nothing less than forever with
her.
“It won’t be just this once, will
it, Taylor.” Not a question, a solid fact. She’d call and tear his heart apart
every time.
“We have to stop.”
“No.
You
have to stop.
You
called me.” He prayed she’d never stop. He would always sew his heart back
together in the morning.
“I won’t do it again, I swear.”
“You were the one who said it had
to end after last night. You. Not me. What is it you really want?” His eyeballs
ached, praying she wanted the same things he did. Time. Together.
“I don’t know, Jace. I really don’t.
First, I just thought I wanted sex.”
And now she wanted more, more,
more. His mind screamed for her to say the words. His gut rolled and twisted,
and then he took a chance. “What we did was more than sex.”
“Yes. It was.”
God, yes. But how much more?
“It can only end badly,” she
whispered. “Your parents.”
“Screw my parents.”
Her long silence after his outburst
wore him down, forcing him to back off, retrench. He didn’t want the secrecy,
but if it was the only way, he’d do it.
“If we’re careful, they don’t have
to know.” He lowered his voice. “I want to have you again.” He closed his eyes.
“I want to make sure you never have to go looking elsewhere.” The thought of it
killed him.
She didn’t answer, but he could
hear her quickened breath.
He didn’t let up on her. “You’re
too much woman, too hot, too desirable to ever stop needing a man altogether.
Don’t deny it.”
“Jace, please. I...”
“I want to hear you come,” he
whispered, seducing her with his voice and her own needs. “I want to imagine
it’s me between your legs. Touch yourself for me. Do it. Now.” He gave her own
words back to her. “Tell me what it feels like.”