Someone Else's Dream (25 page)

“So it’s dinner in the week then?” Matt asked her, Marcia nodded, Matt just stood staring, then she realised he was waiting for a reply. Smithy just kept looking between the two,

“Dessert,” she reluctantly replied.

“I’ll have a bitter please.” He mocked She poured Matt his beer and he went and sat down, staring at the couple stood by the bar. Smithy had no idea what had just gone on, one thing he did know something was not right. The loved up feeling was showing an air of disappointment. He remained stood at the bar until Marcia finished serving customers, mindful of the eyes that were always upon him.

“What was all that about?” he asked Marcia. Marcia looked at the clock on the wall, her heart thumping and her head in turmoil.

“I finish in 20 minutes, I’ll take you to my place and explain,” she tried to give a reassuring smile but it came out as a grimace, for some reason Smithy felt his dream being slowly taken away from him.

They both walked sombrely back to Marcia’s small apartment. Marcia trying to run through her mind the words she was going to choose. She had decided that if she was going to have a relationship with Smithy then she had to be totally honest even if it meant losing that opportunity. Smithy wasn’t sure what was happening but it felt as if something so special was about to be spoilt.

They sat on her sofa with a Budweiser each when Marcia opened up to him. She told Smithy everything she could about Matt, from the first time she slept with him to the more recent occasions, the death of his daughter, how she felt that he now had her trapped. She told him about Dale being beaten up and how she feels it was him that attacked her in an alley. She even told him about Hayleigh and the termination of the baby. She just let it all out and finished with tears on her cheek, saying “I understand if you’re not interested now.” Smithy drew himself close to him and put his arm around Marcia, kissing away a tear on her cheek. What she had told him was not what he expected, somehow it made her feel closer. Their lips met and they kissed passionately.

“I think I’m falling in love,” he told her,

“Beat you to it she replied,” they made love on her sofa and then in the bedroom, passionately and deeply, lost in each other’s bodies, they shared a shower and both got changed to go into Doncaster for a meal.

“Smithy then told her that he had met Matt before in Porthcawl, with his friends ex, he didn’t think too much of it at the time as Marcia explained that he went there to visit another author and it was business, though Smithy did think they were a little bit close for business partners.

“You come back with me tomorrow to Porthcawl. You can stay with me and Darren, until we sort this out,” he almost instructed Marcia, she liked the fact that he was taking control, she immediately said “Yes.” Not caring what work would have to say, or of any other responsibilities she had. She just wanted to be with the man that made her feel safe.

* * *

Matt Conner’s head wasn’t in any particular world, it was in a world of many voids. He sat alone in the pub for a further hour after Marcia and Smithy had left, he drank a further two pints of bitter and had every intention of staying there until closing times and drink his demons away. He was shocked that a girl who belonged to him could so openly flaunt herself with another man. He regarded Marcia and himself as an item, it was as if she was cheating on him right in front of his eyes. He couldn’t allow that to happen, it shouldn’t have happened, he had let himself down by allowing it to do so.
We will have dinner again, and it will be her last meal.
He told himself. His thought were only interrupted by his phone beeping. He recognised the text tone that he had assigned to the sender and his whole mood changed as he fumbled to read the text,

‘Have you told Aimee about me? And is she okay about it? Xxx’

Shit,
he said to himself, he had forgot all about telling Aimee about Carla, he gave it some thought, he knew his daughter would want to see him happy, and he was sure she would love Carla.
Who wouldn’t love Carla?
He texted back.

‘She can’t wait to meet you, hopefully very soon.’ He pressed send. It wasn’t long before he had a reply from the besotted Carla.

‘I’ve booked myself into a b&b in Hatfield, for tomorrow night, don’t want Aimee to see us sleep together just yet, though it will be tempting lol, leaving in the morning, hope to be there by midday, can’t wait to see you xxx’

Some of those demons went from his head as his thoughts filled with lust and passion, the girl of his dreams would be here in the morning. The smile on his face detracted as he realised he had not yet told his daughter. He sent a further text.

‘We are both so excited can’t wait to see you xxx’

The situation was not lost, all he had to do was collect Aimee and tell his daughter all about her, and she was going to be so excited. He finished his beer and took the walk to collect his daughter.

* * *

Hayleigh felt in a good place, despite what had recently happened in her life. It had recently been turned upside down and now she was intent on turning it back round. She knew it was all her own fault, but she had begun to think that she was really a victim of circumstances that Matt Conner had put her in. She had an opportunity to change her life once more and she was going to seize it. She was cleaning the house in case of any potential viewers when she saw Matt Conner walking down the drive from the front of her lavish home. Her heart went into her mouth as she watched him approach. His face looked a picture of happiness and showed no menace, for a moment she thought that the Matt Conner approaching her home at that moment looked exactly like the one she fell in love with. With her heart still ponding, she heard the doorbell go. She slowly made her way to the front door, growing hesitant as she put her hand on the latch to open it.
If I don’t open it I will never know what it was he wanted,
she thought. The doorbell went once more in just a short burst. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Matt Conner just stood there with that handsome smile on his face, the same smile she fell in love with years ago.

“I’ve come to pick up Aimee.” He told her.

Hayleigh stood there stunned and a chill went through her body as she looked at the man stood wontedly on her doorstep, with an expectant smile on his face. A million memories flashed through her brain as she thought about her daughter who had died three years ago, aged three.

“Aimee!!” she cried putting her hand over her mouth, her face resembling someone who had seen a ghost. Matt noticed her shivering and his own thoughts went through his mind regarding his daughter. He looked straight into Hayleigh’s eyes who was now stood shivering with a single tear falling down her cheek. Hayleigh met his eyes, which now looked deep and vacant as if they were lost in their own world.

“Shh, she’s n, n, not here is she?” Matt stuttered.

Carla looked at the lost figure that was stood in front of him, feeling some empathy but at the same time fear was growing through her body at the man who was now scaring her to death.

“She died three years ago.” Hayleigh wept and closed the door on Matt Conner. She ran into her lounge and flung herself on the sofa, bursting into tears as she did so. Her thoughts were firstly of her daughter, which she had laid flowers on her grave that same morning as her father had come to collect her. Then her thoughts went to her ex-husband, the man she had left standing on her doorstep who had come to collect his dead daughter. She knew now he had completely lost it, and because of that she felt for him deeply, but her thought quickly went to herself and the fear she felt for her own safety. Wiping away the tears with the back of her hand, she quickly went to the kitchen and poured herself a large red, seeking solace in the only way she knew how. The fear was growing inside her at a rapid pace. She got out her mobile and looked at her contacts until she found the one she wanted. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

“Can you come and stop with me for a while, somethings happened.” She told the man at the other end of the phone.

“Course I will, be there soon as babe.” Answered Cavan. He killed the call and quickly made another.

“Mallethead, get me a car straight away.” He immediately went for a shower.

Hayleigh put the phone down, again wondering how it had all come to this. Cavan would make her feel safe, and that’s what she wanted for now. She guessed he may be expecting sex, whilst not being particularly excited, she gave it some thought.
If that’s the price I got to be to feel safe, so be it!
She poured another wine, she thought she may need it.

Matt stood for a while just looking at the door that was shut in his face. The words ‘she died three years ago’ resonating with him in some way. He put his hands to his head as if suffocating a headache. He tried to picture his daughter aged 4, 5, or 6. He could not. His memories were on a 1 year old, then a 2 and a 3. But no more those memories were not there. He walked back up the drive still holding his hands in his head. He reached the street and still holding his head he started walking.

He found himself at the grave of his daughter, whose gravestone told him that she had died three years ago at the age of three. There were fresh flowers on the grave, he picked them up to take in their aroma. The evening was turning into night as the sun dipped and darkness drew in. Soon he could no longer see the inscription on the grave. He lay down beside it putting one hand on the headstone and fell into a dreamy sleep. “Why did you die?” he uttered, before the dreams came. They were familiar dreams, of little girls and horses, of a naked woman shuffling in her bed, unable to release herself from the paralysis she found herself in. there was a dream on the inexplicable demise of a back street kid come good. There was Sun Sea and sand. Love horror and hate.

He woke up at 5am, he shivered as his clothes were damp from the morning dew, and he stood up and stretched his dampened body. He touched the headstone of his daughters gravestone and mumbled out loud,

“I need to get showered and changed, she will be here soon.” He walked the relatively short distance to his home, looking forward to the day ahead with his new love, she would be disappointed that his daughter would be unable to make it, but at least she could cancel the B&B and spend the night with him. It was only for one day and one night, but that was all he needed at the time. He couldn’t think more than one day ahead. One day at a time was the only way he could manage until those tablets that he used to take was completely out of his system and he was returned to his former self.

He got in his house just after 5.15 am, he made and drank a quick coffee before going upstairs to shower. He let the water pour over his body, once again it felt as if the previous days sin were being washed away. He stepped out of the shower and stood naked looking at himself in the mirror, pleased to see that he as looking good and the reflection was his own. He stood there for a while with his eyes closed, trying to reflect on the past couple of weeks, trying to remember the things he had said or done, his head was completely confused as he struggled to distinguish what was real and what was not. His mind went to Carla and he thought of the time they made love, he really wanted to fill his head with good things as he relived their loved making in his mind, he felt an erection coming on and he opened his eyes once more. He stared at the reflection in the mirror, it was him, it was the naked Matt stood proud and erect. But now the reflection had changed. The eyes were deep, the nostrils were flared, stained and black teeth showed through the scowl on his face, he looked at the torso in the mirror, it looked unharmed in every way, and his own body did not hurt or ache, but the reflection in the mirror was different, it did not move with him and the naked body in the mirror was not covered in soap or water. The reflection in the mirror was dripping only blood.

The lure of seeing him once more was just too much, she had tried to play it cool, pretending she had deadlines to reach and agents to satisfy. The truth was she had none of that. Carla Reid was now a self-publisher, and though a very successful one in the world of self-publishing, she had no one to answer to, other than maybe the fans who were eagerly waiting the third part of her successful trilogy, where it would be determined whether charlotte lived or died. Matt Conner had given her a new lease of life; he had opened up avenues that she didn’t know was there, brought down barriers that she thought was impossible to break. She had spent the previous night with her friend Donna, telling her all about him and thanking her for help turning her into the person she was. They did get emotional, promising to be there for each other whenever they were needed, that of course went without question for both girls. They stopped the night together, sharing the same bed that friends do without there being any passion involved, despite for both girls for different reasons wishing that it could somehow happen. Donna because her sexual attraction towards Carla was beyond recourse and she would always yearn for. Carla wanting to somehow repaying her friend for the once in a life time feeling of ecstasy that she had given her. She wanted her friend to feel the delights that she had that evening they made love, but it had to be a one off now and in a way she regretted that. It was only through that evening that allowed her to be the woman she wanted to be, being made to feel so beautiful and sexy through Donna had made her realise she actually could be. It was with Donna’s full blessing that she would leave for Doncaster at 9am to embark on a beautiful journey of love and laughter. Carla had no dreams that night as she could barely sleep, she found herself constantly looking at the alarm, and she was on the road to Doncaster by 8.15.

Smithy and Marcia enjoyed an evening meal at an Indian restaurant in Doncaster centre, before moving onto a wine bar for drinks. When they got back to Marcia’s apartment, they enjoyed each other’s bodies once more before sleeping. They never spoke about Matt Conner again until the morning, nothing had changed, she knew going to Porthcawl would offer no permanent safe haven, but at the least it would give her some thinking time, and at least she would be able to spend some more time with Smithy. Darren was there when they got back from there tedious train journey to Porthcawl, he was looking the worse for wear after a night on the booze. Smithy had told Marcia all about Darren and his one-time relationship with Carla. Marcia was surprised when she met him, after hearing all about Carla and Darren she was expecting someone burlier, not the boy she eventually met. Darren had not gone over to his parents’ house, he had missed work, choosing instead to stay on the beach by the rocks watching Carla Reid, always with a broken heart and a bottle of thunderbirds. He had seen her leave at 8.15 that Saturday morning. He walked into the town, waited until it was time to serve alcohol in the shops, he bought another bottle of thunderbirds and drank it as a late breakfast, before falling to asleep. Waking up in the early evening, just before Marcia and Smithy returned. He was pleased to see his mate Smithy again; missing that shoulder to cry on. He was not so pleased to see Marcia. He needed Smithy to himself to help mend his broken heart.

* * *

Crazy Cavan was at Hayleigh’s house within 90 minutes of the phone call he received asking him to come. He arrived alone in a ford focus. Leaving it parked on the road; should Matt pass, as seeing a car in the drive might provoke him even further. The large leather clad biker driving a ford focus arrived freshly groomed and with a holdall. When Hayleigh answered the door to him she was surprised how pleased she was to actually see him and his boyish style. He held up his holdall,

“Brought some stuff, didn’t know how long you wanted me for,” he had told Hayleigh; that had made her giggle. She told Cavan why she wanted him there and what Matt had done. It made Cavan feel needed and wanted, and at that time would have done anything for the beautiful woman, despite the fear he held for her ex-husband. The man who could decapitate a human being just as a warning; to Cavan it sounded as if Matt had lost it completely. He knew he would have to be at his best if he came face to face with Matt.

They ordered a Chinese and drunk red wine, as Cavan told Hayleigh all about his seedy and strange life; she laughed out loud when he told he had never owned a bike, despite the leather clothing he adorned with badges that a typical biker would wear. Hayleigh found him funny and charming and warmed to him. He had fallen asleep on the sofa; having drunk too much red wine, it wasn’t a drink he was used too and it had gone to his head quickly. Hayleigh had covered him with a blanket and left him there, despite having bedrooms he could have slept in. she took herself off to bed with a glass of red, kind of wishing that the overweight biker without a bike was to lie beside her. She slept easily and safely, waking up in the morning with the smell of bacon cooking. She grabbed herself a dressing gown and went down to the kitchen, where Cavan was stood at the cooker.

“Done ya a cooked breakfast babe, coffee in the pot.” He had told her.

Just the man I need,
Hayleigh told herself.

* * *

Carla had reached Monmouth before she felt the need to stop to use the toilet and grab a coffee. It had been a steady drive; when she left it was glorious sunshine, but it had clouded over, however, it still remained dry and warm. She had sung along to the radio until she kept losing the station. She had changed the radio station to a ‘Kings of Leon’ cd, followed by ‘Mumford & Sons’ she still sang along to the songs that she knew so well. She sat at the small ‘Little Chef’ drinking a latte and eating a cheese salad sandwich, she had made good time, there was no real heavy traffic; and what traffic there was appeared to be flowing well. She text Matt telling him where she was and that her sat nav had told her that she was less than three hours away. He had replied with the enthusiasm as a child at Christmas, which brought a smile to her face. She freshened herself up in the wash room before setting off. Hoping she wouldn’t find the need to stop again. She longed to see the smiling face of the man she was falling for.

As ‘The Killers ‘played on the cd, she tried to remember if she had ever felt like this before; someone that she was so sexual attracted to that she dreamt of making love with them. Someone she just wanted to spend time with and make them happy. As she thought she could think of no man that had ever made her feel like that; her mind grew a little confused as she realised she had felt those feelings before. Donna!!! She recalled. She had given her the same feelings and at the time they were reciprocated.
It was just an experiment,
she told herself,
a very successful experiment.
She started to feel guilty, but she wasn’t sure who the guilt was aimed at.

She stopped at a services just an hour away from Doncaster; not only did she need petrol, she needed to use the bathroom and fuel her caffeine habit. She texted both Matt and Donna whilst she was there. She was getting nervous, she needed that caffeine. 30 minutes later she was on her way again, her sat nav told her she was an hour away. Her body tingled at the thought of it, her heart pounded as she drove towards the man of her dreams.

Matt Conner woke up that Saturday morning a completely different man that went to bed the night before. His tortured mind hidden inside him; he went about the household chores with vigour. Polishing and cleaning the house, changing the linen on the beds. He mowed the lawns and tended to his beautiful gardens. He went down into his basement which he had very rarely used, using the spiral staircase from the kitchen. He unlocked the door at the bottom and immediately felt the stale stench, he hoovered and refreshed the old carpet of the cellar that had one time been used as a cinema room. He scrubbed the old ikea sofa, the only piece of furniture that adorned the room. He turned off the single light, leaving the cellar in darkness. He rushed up his staircase, so not to glance at the pictures of his daughter on the walls. He showered and trimmed his beard, dressing in the recent bought designer gear that he had purchased. All he had to do now was wait until his new love arrived. To pass the time he loaded his computer up and re-wrote some more of his novel ‘The Stalker’. He thought Carla would love it.

Carla drove into Hatfield with the nervousness of a school girl on their first school outing. Her sat nav told her she was less than 2 miles from the High Street where Matt lived. She had butterflies in her stomach and a pent up feeling of walking into the unknown. The B&B that she had booked herself into, to her surprise appeared to be just a few hundred yards from where Matt lived. She checked herself in, the room was very basic with a small en-suite, but she felt it would be comfortable enough for one night. She freshened up and started walking down the high street. She saw the bluebell pub that Matt had mentioned to her during their chats. She didn’t want a drink, she needed air, she wanted to refresh her perfume and compose herself, even though she had done it minutes earlier in her room. She walked further onto the High Street, she looked down the road knowing that a hundred yards away was the home of her new lover. She noticed a quaint coffee shop just yards from where she stood, she went in and ordered a cappuccino and sat down. She took a deep breath, got out her phone and texted Matt. ‘I’m at the coffee shop just by your house xxx’ her hands shook as she drunk her coffee. The thought of meeting his daughter made her tremble,
what if she don’t like me.
She had no answer to that one particular thought, she just hoped she would. Her new adventure had begun.

Matt had been unable to continue writing as the time got closer to Carla’s arrival. He just sat on the sofa with his mobile in his hand. He had wanted to text her but didn’t want to distract her from her driving, and in any case she wouldn’t have been able to text back, and that would surely annoy him. As well as jumping, his eyes lit up when he received Carla’s text. He rushed out of his home onto the high street. He fast paced it to the coffee shop, took a deep breath and walked in. she was there and his heart fluttered as he sat opposite her, after giving her a kiss on her cheek.

“Standard coffee please,” he shouted to the waitress who acknowledged him with the thumbs up, from across the table he took Carla’s both hands in his, she caressed his fingers,

“Where’s Aimee? She asked curiously, Matt gripped her hands tightly,

“It’s so nice to see you again, I’ve been waiting for this moment all day.” he replied, ignoring her question completely, the waitress brought his coffee over and Matt paid her.

“I’ve been a nervous wreck,” she giggled, before adding, “so where’s your daughter? I’ve been dying to meet her,

Fucking bitch, why has she got to ask, aint I good enough
? Said the voice in his head,

“She’s still at her mothers, she’s coming along later. He could see the disappointment on Carla’s face. Carla was disappointed, she had high hopes for this man and it was important for her to meet his daughter, she didn’t want to fall in love with him and then have to call it off because of a disapproving child. She needed that reassurance and she needed it quickly, it was a few moments before she realised what Matt had said.

“Mother?” she questioned him as her heart went into her mouth, she noticed the look of dismay on his face. Matt was quick to the mark.

“Grandmother, my mother,” he said, Carla felt silly at her own mistake, and wanted to change the subject quickly.

“Right then are you going to show me where you live?”  She suggested, they both smiled and walked hand in hand towards his house. Matt walked with the demons in his head, just thinking which way it was,
My wife is dead, my daughter is alive, my wife is dead my daughter is alive, my wife is dead my daughter is alive, Hayleigh’s alive, Aimee’s dead.
He wanted to scream, but he thought he would be okay, when he got to his house.

She noticed and was impressed by the lovingly tendered gardens and the Lexus parked on the drive. Carla felt the butterflies as Matt opened the side doors to the kitchen and gestured for her to go in, she did as implied, it was a large kitchen and dining area and was impressed to how clean and tidy it looked. Matt again gestured for her to walk into the living room,

“Go on through, I’ll make us some coffee,” he suggested to her, she walked into the room, it was smaller than she imagined, but cosy nevertheless, she stood there looking at the books on the bookcase, there were a few traditional and famous authors, followed by encyclopaedia’s and reference book, she noticed a couple of cook books and books on gardening, there was a collection of Marvel books, who’s spines when put together showed a collection of superhero’s. Then she noticed her own book on the bottom shelf, she smiled to herself, secretly wishing he had put it next to his Stephen King books. She glanced in the corner and saw his desk, there was a printed manuscript next to it and she realised that she had never actually seen his creation of a novel. She felt a bit guilty and picked up the manuscript and sat on the sofa, she thought now was the time she familiarised herself with at least the first chapter.
Perhaps we could read it together,
she smiles.