Somersault (27 page)

Read Somersault Online

Authors: Kenzaburo Oe

‘“This is the first time I’ve met Savior,’ she said. ‘My mother became a follower first. My parents were divorced when I was little and I grew up with my father, who’s of Irish extraction, in California. But my mother in Japan got very sick and wanted to see her ex-husband and daughter. She was having a terrible time trying to track us down when Savior gave her a hint that allowed her to locate us. After she got in touch with my father, he went to see her, quit his job, and decided to live in Japan. That’s how our family was reunited.

“‘I looked for a university I could transfer to from the one I was going to in the States. After I started school here I ran across an old friend from when I was a student in the American School in Yokohama, who was a follower of the Savior. When we graduated he was asked to come to the center here, and I came with him.

“‘I was only able to nurse my mother for a short time, but throughout she told me about your teachings, so when I came here I wasn’t completely ignorant. Hearing about how you helped my mother find us and, though she didn’t recover, how my father changed after meeting her—all this made me believe in the power you possess. And now that I have met you I’m as happy as I imagined I’d be.’

“Still worked up after she finished speaking, the young woman covered her face with her silver-nailed hands and the boy with round glasses next to her, also a Eurasian, gave her a hug. The young women and men around them gave her an enthusiastic round of applause.

“Guide turned to me—he was really speaking to everyone there—and by way of introduction explained that the group this girl was in felt more comfortable speaking English than Japanese. Including this girl, three of them
had attended high school at the American School, and two more had lived in English-speaking environments in Fiji and Western Samoa and then returned to high school in Tokyo. Guide explained how these young people were a task force he’d created to deal with the foreign media. That wasn’t their only job, of course; they’d all majored in computer science or engineering in college and were going to continue their work here at the center.

“After this bilingual group presented testimonies of how they came to faith, we had a question-and-answer period about the future of the church. They had all swiftly devoured their lunch in the healthy way young people do and were waiting for me to respond to their questions, which I had to do alone, and I remember looking down impatiently at the food that was still on my plate, which I couldn’t finish because of all the questions.”

4
Patron continued reminiscing to Kizu about the meeting while flipping through a stack of cards that Dancer had brought to him from their office workstation; the cards were ones she’d made by copying out passages from church publications that predated the Somersault.

“One young man who asked some questions was trained in experimental physics. Guide had great hopes for him. This is what the young man said:

“‘I’d been taking medicine for many years to control my epileptic seizures. Because of the medicine my head was always in a fog, and I worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle the delicate elements of my research. As I feared, I was forced off the research team just when we were reaching the final stages of the research. I’d been on this team ever since I entered the department, so this was a terrible shock. I couldn’t get over it and quit the university before I graduated. Despite these problems, soon after I joined the church I was allowed to work in the prophet’s research center and I felt—I’d like to check this English word with the bilingual group—
overjoyed
.

“‘In the university I was too preoccupied with my own research project and couldn’t recognize obstacles along the way, but after I started my research again here I felt I could understand the feelings of my former professor, the one who fired me, and why I wasn’t allowed to be a part of the final critical stage of the project. Some of my former colleagues later joined me here, and we enjoy our research to the full every day. Hallelujah! If things continue as they have, I predict some good results before too much longer, and we’ll be able to outwit all those colleagues of mine still in the university. The bilingual group has been kind enough to translate some of
our research papers into English, and it’s as if all the burdens and problems I used to face are gone.

“‘But am I making a big mistake all over again? The impetus for joining the church was my frustration, my suffering, but what drew me further in was the Savior’s teachings. The world is fast approaching its end, a point that my field of research confirms too. But even if our research team’s efforts bear fruit—and I have no doubt they will—that’s not going to do anything to stave off the end of the world, is it?

“‘Is it really all right for us to just enjoy doing our research in this wonderful environment? The Prophet told us if our research gets results that become known abroad, people won’t confuse our church with a cult. That’s good, but even if people hold us in higher regard and we get more members, aren’t we just doing the same thing that established religious organizations do?

“‘There’s a list in this little almanac here of the official numbers of members of various religious groups, many of which have huge numbers of followers. Tenrikyo, for instance, has 1.84 million members, Kongokyo has 440,000, Omotokyo has 170,000, Reiyukai 3.2 million, Seicho no ie 840,000, Sekai Kyuseikyo 840,000, Perfect Liberty Church has 1.26 million, Risho Kyosei Kai has 6.35 million, and Sokka Gakkai has more than any of these. If all these churches got together to repent and parade, there’d be 20 million people flooding the streets. But no one ever attempts to do that. Even if our church grows bigger, won’t it just become like all the others? If that’s the case, my present happiness rests on dubious ground! What I’d like to hear from you are the concrete goals you have in mind for this church you lead.’

“I think what Guide said in response to this was important.

“‘It would be even more fitting,’ Guide said, ‘if you included the large traditional Buddhist sects, as well as Catholics and Protestant denominations, though we’re not planning to imitate any of them. If there’s anyone here optimistic enough to think that you’ll just spend your days leisurely doing research, you’re very much mistaken.

“‘The Savior has communicated many visions that he’s had. The majority of you here have heard his sermons and, as they make clear, the Savior has a comprehensive understanding of the end of the world.

“‘The Savior’s connection with God is personal, as will be ours as we repent. As our church grows more active, though, and as we call for true repentance and raise society’s consciousness of the end of the world, we’ll transcend that personal relationship with God. That’s the basis of the Savior’s teaching. And as for myself, as Prophet, I founded this research center because I wanted to improve the minds of those who were repentant.

“‘As the question you’ve raised indicates, this center has become a solid research facility. It’s obvious to me that each researcher here, as a firm believer, has his eyes set on the realistic goals set forth by the Savior. The urgent question you’ve raised springs directly from that. I’m happy my efforts haven’t been in vain. However, don’t close your eyes to the problems inherent in your question, problems that characterize the intellectuals in our church. How should we advance toward our goals? Isn’t this a question each person must try to answer individually? In this community you’re in now, where you can concentrate on both research and prayer, won’t all your individual goals eventually meld into one? That’s my response as Prophet.’

“After this it was my turn, as Savior, to respond, which I did to some incidental questions; the responses I gave are all on these cards Dancer’s putting together, which summarize the opinions I gave through the course of the discussion.

“‘On a very basic level, I’m not the kind of person who can deal with society by myself,’ I told them. ‘When the visions I have in my trances are translated, though, I
am
driven by their power to speak out to you all. Those of you gathered here are all quite young, most of you having joined the church after it was already established; the first person who spoke today, I believe, is the son of one of my followers from the earliest days. I preached that one should cut one’s worldly ties in order to repent, but when I see a case like this in which the bonds of family lead one to join the church, I stand in awe.

“‘I used to live a hermit’s life, like someone living in a cave—my own private life, with my own private trances, and private prayers—until the Prophet forced me to face my followers, whose number had swelled to form a real church, and to confront the outside world. However, as the Prophet has often said, my faith rests solely on the foundation of my trances. I have no set notions of the future, or any concrete plan as to how to proceed. That is the truth.

“‘When I am in one of my trances, I’m on the
other side
. When I’m there I don’t have a consciousness of standing in front of it—this only comes after I’ve awoken and mulled over the experience—but what I come face-to-face with is everything in miniature: past, present, and future, every person, thing, and event. It all forms a glowing structure that I’m standing in front of. I’m led to read and understand this structure by a
will
moving horizontally and vertically at the speed of light. If you wish to use the word God, then that
will
is God, that structure itself is God, an understanding I come to only after I’ve returned.

“‘To use a simpler metaphor, it’s a book unlike any other, a book within a book, which includes the entire world, the entire universe. I’m on the other side, reading it. This means being conscious of things that transcend the real
world, that tie together past and future. Reading this book also means I’m alive in this world, and by living I’m writing new sections of it. If I distance myself even a little, I realize that the words already written in the book, and the new words written in it, are not merely about my own individual inner life. They’re not just about my own individual actions, and the limited range of influence these might have in the real world. What I read in that book is the entire past and future of the world—indeed, of the universe—but what happens is that even my own insignificant individual actions, my own passing thoughts, very subtly rewrite the whole. And in this I find evidence that my trifling individual self is one of the saviors of humanity.

“‘I think the problem can be summarized this way. All the followers in this church want to take some decisive practical action, with the Prophet and myself leading them. These actions are already written in the book I read in my trances and can be written anew. But I cannot, ahead of time, tell you what they are. When it becomes absolutely necessary for me to speak, when something that transcends us pushes me forward in order to speak, be assured that my vision will take the form of words at the most opportune moment and you’ll be the first to know. That time hasn’t arrived yet, but it isn’t far off.’

“After I finished saying this, the Prophet—for the first time since I met him—swept away the distance he’d always maintained between us. He faced me, gave a slight yet truly heartful bow, and then turned toward the assembled group of hand-picked young people who filled the conference room.

“‘Everyone, let us pray! Let us pray! Hallelujah! Let us have faith that even the prayers of the weak and helpless such as ourselves may write one new line in that massive book. And let us all have hope in the Savior’s trying task of seeing that in his vision! Let us pray that we may discover what sort of actions are possible for us. Let us await, as we pray, ideas that come to us of our own accord yet are also written in that book. Let us pray for understanding. The end of the world is fast approaching. As we repent, what can we do? What
must
we do? Let us also pray that through the mediation of the Savior, this massive book on the
other side
will reveal the actions we must take. In his presence, and relying on him alone, let us pray. Hallelujah!’”

Kizu had never before heard Patron so excited, or speak about Guide being so worked up. As a person getting on in years, Kizu knew that if this excitement infected him as well, later on, retrospectively, it would leave behind a quite ambiguous emotion. So he adopted an artist’s strategy, taking a step back from his subject and reexamining it.

“Did Guide talk to you before all this about why he put forth such a theory? I’m sure the two of you must have discussed it thoroughly beforehand.”

A childish, prankish expression crossed Patron’s face. “I think Guide must have been worried that I was going to sidestep those zealous young people. I think he was afraid that at my advanced age I wouldn’t have anything to say to them and might end up with a few curt words of greeting and call it a day. Looking back on it now, I think the temptation for a Somersault grazed by me at that moment, and Guide must have sensed it.”

“I’ve only spent a short time with him,” Kizu said, “but I got the impression that he’s not the type who opens up to others. On the other hand, when Ikuo expressed an interest in questioning you directly, Guide was kind enough to make the arrangements. Were Guide’s sermons always this emotional?”

“I never saw Guide so excited in front of the followers again, though he could be pretty emotional when we talked privately.

“Another issue was raised that day at the research center. One researcher stood up, a naïve-looking man but actually one tough customer. ‘You keep saying the end of the world is near,’ he said, ‘and I agree. As the earth’s population increases, human dignity will go down the drain. But how will the world end? As one who quietly awaits this with a repentant heart, I’d be happy if you’d say a few words about
how
it will end.’

“A few of his fellows heckled him pretty severely for asking this. ‘What good is asking that going to do? That’s not important!’ That sort of thing. The young man turned on his detractors and shouted in an even louder voice than theirs:

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