She was so different from Jane – she was focused and driven as opposed to having Jane’s relaxed approach to life – that Ethan surprised himself by first becoming intrigued by her and then eventually falling for her completely. Sometimes she made his head spin with her broad and intricate knowledge of travel, food and wine, as well as the seemingly effortless confidence with which she approached everything. This self-assurance was one of the first things that had captivated him, but there was also a somewhat enigmatic side to her that had made him want to get closer.
Still, he had waited almost six months before introducing her to Daisy. Just because he was moving on, there was no reason to force his daughter to do the same, he reasoned.
When the big meeting did finally occur, Ethan arranged for Vanessa to meet the two of them after Daisy’s weekly Saturday dance class. He had done his best to ensure it was light and informal, and to keep the focus on Daisy, but he wasn’t fooling his wise and perceptive daughter. As the three of them walked along by the Thames eating ice cream, Daisy kept giving her father the same look her mother had always had. Ethan called it the sideways-squinty-eyed look, one that often appeared on his daughter’s face during poorly disguised homework bribing and early-to-bed coaxing.
Over time, though, Daisy came around. She loved it when Vanessa read to her; storytelling was one of her favourite things. She especially loved Vanessa’s accent, a rich combination of a decade and a half spent in cultured London coupled with the lilt of her Irish roots. It was something that at the beginning had greatly appealed to Ethan too, although Vanessa liked to insist that fifteen years of living in England had eradicated most of her native brogue.
He always wished that Vanessa would read more than just one bedtime story at a time, but reminded himself that it was different for people who’d never had children of their own, and no doubt she would gradually get a feel for that kind of thing.
He should know; he had never considered himself the doting-father type but had fallen completely in love with his baby daughter when she wrapped her tiny newborn hand around his index finger in the delivery suite. And when afterwards he’d cuddled her fragile little body close to his bare chest, skin to skin, Ethan had given her his heart there and then.
Given time it would be the same for Vanessa, he thought; Vanessa and Daisy would share a moment that would cement their relationship. It couldn’t be forced. It would probably happen once they all lived together, when they spent time together like a real family. Sadly, due to Vanessa’s inability to conceive (something she’d disclosed frankly to Ethan early on in the relationship) there would be no additions to that family, but he was fine with that too.
As daylight gradually crept across the park, Ethan lifted his head, wondering how long he had actually been standing there daydreaming. The sun was peeking through the clouds, and despite the brief flurry of snow a clear sky was visible in the distance. Ethan thought that this was a good omen seeing as it had been overcast and grey in the city since they arrived. Today was different for a reason, he realised; the powers-that-be must be smiling on him and his intentions . . .
‘Merry Christmas, darling.’
At the sound of the voice nearby, Ethan jumped, and coffee splashed on his bare chest through the opening of his bathrobe.
‘Oops!’ Vanessa laughed, coming up alongside him. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you . . .’ Her voice trailed off as she rushed to the bathroom, and in a flash she was back with a cool washcloth and a fresh robe.
‘It’s my own fault. I was miles away,’ he replied, smiling at her. ‘Anyway, it’s cold by now.’
‘Why so jumpy? Still thinking about that accident yesterday? I’m sure the guy is fine.’
Holding the cloth to his chest, he stood there in his boxers, assuring her she had just caught him in a daydream. ‘No, no, it’s fine, honestly. I just didn’t expect anyone else to be up so early.’ Ethan handed her back the cloth, and put on the dry robe. ‘Join me for a fresh cup?’
She smiled. ‘I’d love one.’
Ethan moved to the cafetière and poured a steaming cup of coffee for the woman he was about to propose to. Coffee pot in hand, he noticed he wasn’t nervous as such, but not quite his usual calm, cool self, either.
Evidently so did Vanessa. Taking the cup from him, she put her other hand on his before he had the chance to let go. Ethan looked up to see some sort of knowing look in her eyes, as if she could guess exactly what he was thinking. It shot right through him. Resisting taking a step backwards, he knew he must be looking startled again, because she seemed to quell the slightest smile as she turned away.
Goodness, she knows! He wondered how that could be. Maybe she’d noticed that one of her rings had gone missing? A little while back, he had secretly purloined one of Vanessa’s costume rings from her jewellery box so that he could establish the correct ring size.
‘So, as I was saying, merry Christmas,’ Vanessa repeated, reaching forward to kiss him. ‘It’s so wonderful being here in New York on Christmas morning with you and Daisy. It means a lot – especially when I know how important it is to you two, because of Jane, I mean.’
She was so perceptive, and always so generous and understanding about Jane’s memory that Ethan felt himself fall in love with her all over again. Living in another woman’s shadow would undoubtedly be a challenge for some, but thankfully this didn’t seem to be the case with Vanessa. Well, Ethan decided, even if she did have any qualms – hidden or otherwise – those would surely be erased once he produced that little blue box.
‘Thank you for asking me to come with you,’ she went on, her voice slightly hoarse. ‘You were right: New York at Christmas time really is something special.’
Ah, that was it, Ethan realised with some relief. Vanessa had no idea what was coming. It was just the Christmas thing and she was emotional about that.
‘Me too, and I’m so glad you’re here. This is a really special time for us, for all of us.’ He paused. The light coming through the window caught the hazel in her eyes, and the weight of what he was about to do took his breath away for a moment. ‘I love you too, Vanessa. I do. I mean, I . . .’ he stammered, recognising the Freudian slip in those two words. ‘I mean, I do love you.’
She smiled and gently rested her hand on the side of his face.
‘Merry Christmas!’ Daisy squealed from the doorway connecting to her bedroom, as if poised for a grand entrance. She raced towards them, leaping and landing on the big double bed with a flourish. ‘Let’s open our presents!’
‘How about good-morning greetings and some breakfast first?’ Ethan replied, his tone half-scolding.
‘Yes, you’ll need to get your strength up for all the presents you’ll be opening,’ Vanessa chimed in.
‘So do you,’ the little girl replied with a demure smile, and Ethan gave her a warning look, which made her giggle.
‘OK, let’s get some room service organised,’ he said, practically diving for the menu in order to change the subject.
‘Hot chocolate. I suppose that’s our first priority?’ Vanessa teased, sitting down beside Daisy.
‘That’s not very healthy, you know, Vanessa,’ she replied solemnly and Ethan and Vanessa shared a smile. His girlfriend was fully aware of Daisy’s frequent bouts of anxiety and Ethan hoped that once they were all together as a family she’d feel more secure and such tendencies would wear off.
‘But it’s Christmas morning!’ Vanessa insisted with a grin. ‘I’m sure one day of indulgence won’t kill us.’ Ethan couldn’t help but wince at her unfortunate choice of phrase, but luckily Daisy didn’t seem to notice.
‘You’re right. Can I have an iced cinnamon roll too, Dad? I love iced cinnamon rolls.’
‘You can have whatever you want, poppet. Any requests, Vanessa?’
She shook her head. ‘What Daisy’s having sounds good to me.’
‘OK then, hot chocolate and cinnamon rolls all round,’ Ethan said, picking up the phone to order.
Half an hour later, the three of them were sipping hot drinks and sitting around the little tree they’d bought and decorated especially for the occasion. Daisy tucked her legs up beneath her on the floor and licked the remains of the icing off her fingers.
‘All right then, let’s see what have we here,’ Ethan began, handing a brightly wrapped package to Daisy.
‘No, Vanessa first,’ she insisted, grinning coyly.
‘You’re in an excitable mood today, even for Christmas morning,’ Ethan said, giving his daughter his own, more subtle version of the sideways-squinty-eyed look. ‘Go ahead and open yours first, OK?’
She gave a big, exaggerated sigh. ‘OK, Dad.’
‘Yes, please do,’ Vanessa laughed. ‘I think you’re going to like that one, or at least I hope you will. It’s from me.’
‘Great.’ Daisy sat cross-legged as she tore open the wrapping. A collection of soft-cover books landed in her lap. ‘Animal stories?’ she said, looking at the covers of a Thornton Burgess story collection.
‘Yes. I had those when I was a little girl. They’re just at your reading level, so you can read them to yourself at bedtime.’
‘Oh . . .’ Daisy said flatly, twirling one of her curls with her index finger. ‘Thanks.’
‘But one of us can still read them to you too, honey,’ Ethan put in quickly, picking up on her obvious disappointment.
‘Vanessa’s turn now,’ Daisy said easily, as if the last comment had gone in one ear and out the other. Typical.
Ethan looked at his daughter and smiled. At least she was still excited about the proposal, more so than he could have hoped. Giving her a surreptitious wink, he said, ‘I do believe you’re right,’ and Daisy giggled with delight and clapped her hands.
Vanessa raised an eyebrow. ‘Daisy, you’ve got me intrigued now. This must be a pretty good gift,’ she said.
‘Well, I certainly hope so.’ Ethan handed her the Tiffany’s gift bag. The distinctive blue box and ribbon combination was so unmistakably elegant it seemed a travesty to wrap them any further. ‘This is from me, but Daisy helped me pick it out. She has great taste,’ he added, giving his daughter a smile, which she giddily returned.
Vanessa seemed taken aback. ‘Oh my . . . something from Tiffany’s?’ she gasped, her face lighting up as Ethan had hoped it would.
Jane was right: there really was something about the packaging alone that turned even the most sophisticated of women to mush.
Letting the little blue box rest in her hand for a moment, Vanessa went to untie the white bow, but then paused and looked up. ‘Daisy, I’ve already told your father this, but I just wanted to let you know too how happy I am to be here, to be sharing Christmas with both of you. It means a lot, darling.’ She reached over and patted Daisy’s hand, receiving a huge Cheshire Cat grin in return.
‘Go on, open it!’ the little girl urged and Ethan smiled, enjoying the moment.
He moved closer to Vanessa, and reached out to take Daisy’s hand.
Smiling at Ethan, Vanessa pulled slowly on the soft satin ribbon as if savouring every second. When it gave way and fell in her lap, she took a deep breath before finally lifting off the lid of the box. As she did, her eyes grew wide.
‘Well, what have we got here?’ she murmured happily, opening the little felt pouch and reaching inside. ‘A charm bracelet . . . How lovely!’
What the . . . ?
Ethan stared at the box, unable to believe what he was hearing.
He glanced sideways at Daisy, who was just as wide-eyed. If he didn’t know better he could have sworn that Vanessa was joking, but it wasn’t really the kind of thing to joke about. Moving closer to get a better look, he checked to see what she was holding in her hand. Yes, there was no mistake – it was indeed a charm bracelet.
Cute, but no diamond solitaire.
Christ, what the hell was going on?
‘Yes . . . we, er . . . picked it out together, didn’t we?’ he said, catching Daisy’s eye. She sat there looking just as shocked as he was. ‘It seemed like a lovely keepsake of our trip, of our special time here in New York, just the three of us.’ Ethan’s mind was racing. Lecturing had its advantages in that it helped him think quickly on his feet.
‘Yes, we got it at Tiffany’s,’ Daisy said, rather unnecessarily. She looked at Ethan as if trying to gauge what they should do or say next.
‘It’s beautiful. Thank you,’ Vanessa said, but Ethan barely heard her.
For a moment, he wasn’t sure how to react, but knew deep down that he had to try to rescue the situation before Vanessa noticed something was amiss. Eventually he reached for her arm. ‘Here, let me. I want to see how it looks on,’ he said, lifting the bracelet from Vanessa’s palm and fastening it around her wrist. ‘Gorgeous . . . much like the woman wearing it, of course.’ He gave her a broad smile but was sure that she would be able to see through its falseness. He’d always been dreadful at deception.
‘Thank you – both of you.’ Vanessa twirled the bracelet around on her wrist. ‘It’s just . . . amazing, and the perfect memento of this trip.’ Sitting up straighter, she took a deep breath and smiled conspiratorially at Daisy. ‘Well, Daisy, I think it’s your dad’s turn now.’
‘Oh no, no . . . we should really let Daisy open the rest of her things first,’ Ethan interjected quickly, running a hand through his hair and making a great show of looking around for his coffee cup. Any excuse to extricate himself from this uncomfortable and really very mystifying situation.