* * * * *
Gay paradise. That’s where Kelly had brought him. William was in a church, but instead of pews and Bibles, he was surrounded by people his own age, all of them gay. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that none of them were straight. Even that seemed inadequate. At least one person there was transitioning to a different gender, and he overheard a brief argument about pansexuality—whatever that meant. William had a lot to learn, but one fact was now clear to him: He wasn’t alone. No matter how understanding his friends and family had been, this was a place where he didn’t have to explain himself. Here he would be safe and understood. No wonder Kelly had come out sooner and had so many relationships. William felt like he was at a boy buffet!
“My name’s Mike.”
“Hey, I’m Julian. Welcome!”
“Are you new here? I’m Richard.”
William couldn’t keep track of all the guys who introduced themselves, one after the other. He felt giddy, but that had more to do with Kelly than anyone else here. The triathlon had cemented their relationship. No more Jared. He didn’t come up in conversation anymore. William had even met the family, Kelly’s mother and father just as wonderful as their son. Same with his little brother, Royal, who despite attempting to act aloof, clearly admired his older sibling. As for William’s own family, they had celebrated his completion of the race by going out to eat, his parents getting along just like they used to. Crisis averted. Now he could focus on more important matters. Speaking of which… He tried to locate Kelly, but yet another guy had blocked his vision, this one thin, blond, and cute.
“Hello!” the newcomer said. “I’m Layne, and yes, you will fall in love with me. Have you eaten? You look famished. Come along!”
Before he knew what was happening, William found an arm wrapped around his, dragging him toward a folding table covered with snacks and drinks. For such a skinny guy, Layne sure had an iron grip!
“I’m actually here with someone,” he said.
“I noticed,” Layne replied. “All good things must come to an end so that better things can begin. I already feel a connection, like we know each other intimately. By the way, what’s your name?”
“William.”
Layne appeared delighted. “I
love
that name. Can I call you Will instead? Or how about Billy. Bill? No, Billy is best. Like my doll. He’s anatomically correct, you know.”
William’s mouth moved, trying to keep up with the conversation. “I have action figures,” he managed.
“See!” Layne slapped his arm playfully, leaving it there so he could rub William’s bicep. “We have so much in common. You know what we should do? Set up a play date so Billy can meet your… What are they?”
“
Beast Wars
figures.”
Layne scrunched up his nose. “Okay. That might work. Do you have a bear?”
William finally spotted Kelly. He was in one corner and talking to his friend Bonnie, who they had picked up on the drive over. “Um, I don’t have a bear, but I do have a cheetah.”
“That’s not even remotely witty,” Layne said in chastising tones. “Are you new at being gay? Maybe your blood sugar is low. Have something to eat.”
William reached for a brownie, but Layne slapped his hand. “Are you trying to ruin your figure? This is better.” He grabbed a whole-wheat cracker and held it up, like he wanted to feed it to William.
“Uhhh...”
“It
is
a little dry,” Layne said. “I suppose we can let our hair down just this once. Here.” He thrust an aerosol can at William. “Squeeze my cheese.”
William took the can, pointed the nozzle at the cracker Layne still held, and squirted out a dollop of orange goo. “Why does this make me feel dirty?” he murmured.
“We’re just getting started,” Layne said, holding up the cracker again.
He opened his mouth unwillingly, but thankfully Kelly appeared, snatching the cracker away. “I saved you a seat, William. Let’s go.”
Layne opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Kelly popped the cracker inside to silence him. As they walked away, William heard a garbled “Call me!” from behind.
“Are you okay?” Kelly asked, leading them to a circle of seats.
“I think you just saved my life.”
Kelly laughed. “Layne is harmless. Mostly. He can get a little handsy at times.”
“Oh.” They sat down on two folding chairs. “Did you guys used to date?”
“Layne?” Kelly said incredulously. “No! I have standards.”
William looked back at Layne, whose tongue was sticking out one corner of his mouth as he decorated more crackers with the squeeze cheese. He was definitely cute. If Layne was beneath Kelly’s notice, then just how picky was he? And who had he been with? William spotted a guy with dark hair and a number of tattoos. “What about him?”
Kelly followed his gaze but didn’t answer the question. “Do you really want to know my history with each of these people?”
William thought about it. “Yes.”
“Why?” Kelly asked, as if genuinely confused.
Before William could answer, an older man clapped his hands to get their attention. The remainder of the seats filled as the lecture began, the group leader speaking about the pioneers of gay rights. The history went back further than William had realized. He wished he could take notes because he discovered so many heroes that—until now—he didn’t realize he had. Audre Lorde, Harvey Milk, Barbara Gittings, Ruth Ellis—he promised himself to research these names and to learn more about them. He might have been nervous about coming out, but they had fought for change!
The only time his attention wavered was when he noticed Layne staring. His leg was crossed over one knee, foot bobbing in the air or occasionally waving back and forth to get his attention. When this succeeded, Layne’s eyebrows waggled, or his lips puckered. During one such display, Layne’s eyes moved to Kelly. Then they widened and quickly averted. William glanced over to find Kelly glaring in Layne’s direction. He liked that, the idea of being protected, of belonging to someone.
Once the lecture was over, Kelly seemed determined to make sure he wasn’t hit on again. He led them away from the other guys and toward his female friends. Lisa was one of them, a quiet mousey girl who kept looking between them and blushing. “Are you two dating?” she asked.
William joined her in the red cheeks club. Yes, they were dating, but they hadn’t put an official title on it yet. Presumably he was Kelly’s boyfriend. God that sounded good! He wanted to hear this said out loud, but instead, Kelly’s mouth clamped shut. Maybe he was private about such things.
“Who drew penises on all of the crackers?” Bonnie demanded, walking over to show them one. Sure enough, the orange outline of a crude phallus had been created with squeeze cheese. She narrowed her eyes at William with faux accusation. “It was you, wasn’t it?”
“No,” William said. He noticed Layne watching from a distance, having overheard the conversation. He held a finger to his lip and winked. William took the cracker from Bonnie, tossed it in his mouth, and winked back. Why not give the guy a thrill? Layne pretended to swoon. Then he lost his balance and fell for real.
“So what do you think of our little group?” Lisa asked.
William chuckled. “I love it here.”
* * * * *
When to kiss someone? When to hold their hand? When to touch them in any way more intimate than friendship? William wished such things were taught at school, because he truly didn’t know. Kelly must though. He had relationship experience, so William patiently waited for guidance. When it was time for the next step, Kelly would let him know.
After a week, William decided he was sick of waiting. He wanted more. If he was accused of rushing things, he could play it off as a beginner’s mistake. All he needed was an opportunity, and one just happened to present itself. Kelly’s birthday. A first kiss would make the perfect present, assuming he didn’t mess it up. Kelly had invited him to the festivities after school. William had the time and the place. He just needed the knowhow, so he called Errol, who was always happy to discuss such things.
“Just watch some lesbian porn,” his brother advised. “That’s always full of kissing. Study what you see and then tone it down by seventy percent.”
“Okay,” William said, “but do you think it’s somehow different when a guy kisses a guy?”
“Not really,” Errol said. “I remember there being more stubble. That’s about it.”
William checked the name on the phone’s display to make sure he was speaking to his brother. “Wait, you’ve kissed a—”
“It was a dare, and not a big deal. As far as I can tell, lips are lips, no matter who they belong to.”
That had made him feel little better. Technically he did have some experience, but he followed Errol’s advice anyway, searching online for lesbian porn. He watched it with disinterest, beginning to question if kissing was worth pursuing. Then he stumbled upon an animated gif of two guys kissing, their lips mashing together in an infinite loop, and his interest revitalized.
On the big day, his anticipation doubled when Kelly didn’t show up for school. His mother always let him take birthdays off, which was a great idea, and one William hoped to convince his mom about next year. He went through his daily routine, feeling like his life was about to change. Most guys would probably laugh at him, having already lost their virginity, but for William this was still a big deal.
After school he went home to get freshened up. Then he drove to Kelly’s house for the first time. The neighborhood was more upscale than his own, the architecture newer, many of the houses having three-car garages. He rang the bell, taking note of the etched glass on either side of the door. Then he turned to consider the manicured lawns, wondering if he should advertise his mowing services here. When the door opened, he spun around to find someone even more beautiful than the surroundings. Kelly always looked good, no matter the clothing. Right now he wore a dress shirt and slacks. He was practically glowing, meaning his special day must be going well. William promised himself not to mess it up.
“I heard rumors there’s a birthday boy somewhere around here,” he said. “Is it you?”
Kelly continued grinning at him.
“I had no idea you lived in such a nice neighborhood. I didn’t know you were rich.”
Kelly put on a cool expression. “I try to keep a low profile. I get a lot of gold diggers after me. Come on in.”
William followed, noticing the nice furnishings and the spotless house. His own home was rarely dirty, but everything here seemed more organized, which appealed to him. Kelly led him to the kitchen. Bonnie was seated on one of the bar stools. Mrs. Phillips stood at the counter and conversed with her. Laisha was a large woman who didn’t seem to share her son’s athleticism, but had definitely passed on her sharp wit to him. When Kelly had first told him about his mother being a lawyer, William had pictured someone severe, but she was delightfully warm.
“We’re just waiting for the ice cream to soften a bit,” Laisha said. “Then we’ll have cake.”
“Great,” Kelly said, seeming restless. “I’m going to show William my room.”
Together they walked up the stairs, the carpet fluffy and white, like it had just been vacuumed. The stairwell in William’s home was dim, but this one was light and airy, overlooking the front room. Pristine furniture, clean surfaces, and not a hint of dust. Was it too late to be adopted? He loved it here!
“It’s cool to finally see where you live,” he said. “Makes me embarrassed about my place.”
“I like your house,” Kelly responded. “Besides, I’m just as broke as you are. At least until I open my presents. My grandparents always send cash.”
“Nice,” William said, the subject of gifts making him nervous. “I’ll give you my present later, okay?”
“You don’t have to give me anything,” Kelly said.
He didn’t believe that for a second. “It’s in the car,” William lied. Then again, maybe they
would
kiss in his car. He had a few locations in mind, but nothing concrete.
They entered Kelly’s room and he felt like kissing him right then and there, because it wasn’t so different than his own. Orderly. Controlled. Not quite as tidy, but from his experience, few people their age ran such a tight ship. Kelly’s room had an extra touch of class. The vaulted ceilings were nice, and the computer in one corner sported a monitor so huge that he mistook it for a television. He eyed the bed next to the desk, a fleeting fantasy racing through his mind that he banished by focusing on the loaded bookshelf on the opposite wall.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” Kelly said, “but I don’t have any Transformers.”
William grinned, noticing the framed photos on the wall. He moved to examine them. “Are these yours?”
“Some of them,” Kelly said, joining him. “Most of the black and whites are, although the smoking-hot guy pouring water over himself is by Will McBride. And this one is by Nan Goldin. The sailor boy and captain obviously isn’t mine. You’re familiar with Pierre et Gilles, right?”
William shook his head.
“Oh. Well my photos aren’t next to theirs because I think they deserve to be. I’m not that vain. I only hung them up recently to help me compare what I’m doing. And to see what I need to learn or which direction I should go.”