Read Something of a Storm (All in Good Time Book 1) Online
Authors: Brooke St. James
Of course I caved and pulled off the interstate to eat at Bubba's. It was attached to a truck stop, and I was almost certain the food wouldn't taste half as good as advertised on the sign, but Lexi was tickled pink at the idea of eating a plate-sized portion of chicken fried steak. I didn't have the heart to deny her.
It was busy in there, but we saw two open spots at the bar, and we walked in that direction. Lexi drew more than a few glances from young men sitting at tables and booths as we walked by. She was a beautiful girl, and didn't hesitate to play it up. She always had makeup on and wore flattering, fashion forward clothes.
She had on a short, flared skirt with a low-cut t-shirt that said, "Sassy Pants". Her blonde hair fell on her shoulders like honey colored silk. Her wrists and neck was adorned with cheap but cool, colorful jewelry and she topped the whole outfit off with a pair of high-top Chuck Taylors.
I, on the other hand, had on a pair of ripped jeans, and an old grey t-shirt from a fundraiser we did at Callahan's. My hair, which was somewhere between wavy and curly, could never be classified as silky and was currently up in a ponytail.
Lexi strapped her small purse to the back of the barstool as we sat down.
"Keep it on," I whispered.
"Keep what on?" she asked, shooting me a curious expression.
"Your purse. Keep it strapped to you so no one walks by and takes if off the back of your chair."
She laughed a little and rolled her eyes at me, but without argument took the bag from the barstool and strapped it across her body. Mine was sitting in my lap, and since it contained all the money I had in the world, that's right where it was staying.
Obviously, Lexi ordered the chicken fried steak, which turned out to be about half the size of the one advertised on the billboard but was, in her words, so freaking good. I had the club sandwich and a cup of coffee. I was still working on the last half of my sandwich when Lexi finished her meal.
"I'm going to the bathroom," she said.
I glanced around trying to locate it.
"It's back there," she said, pointing. "Why don't you order us a slice of pie and we'll split it when I get back?"
I almost said we could just get a pack of skittles at the gas station and hit the road, but a slice of apple pie sounded tempting. I'd already seen a few of them come out of the kitchen, all topped with heaping piles of vanilla ice cream. They looked too good to pass up.
I agreed and Lexi took off for the bathroom. I got our waitress' attention and told her we wanted a slice of apple pie a la mode, and within three minutes the mound of deliciousness was sitting in front of me. I took a few bites, but hesitated to dig in until Lexi got back.
For the next several minutes, I continuously glanced in the direction of the bathroom, but didn’t see her. I wasn't sure how long she'd been in the restroom when I started to feel nervous and began contemplating going to check on her. She hadn't mentioned anything about having a stomachache, so I assumed it would be a quick, routine trip to the ladies room, and this was definitely not what I'd call a quick trip. I felt frustrated with her that she'd take so long when she knew I was ordering ice cream, which was now beginning to melt.
I let out an agitated sigh as I stood to go check on her. The waitress glanced at me when she noticed my movement. "I'll be right back," I said.
She gave a quick nod, smiled, and went on with whatever she was doing as if it didn't really matter much to her. The hallway that led to the bathrooms was dimly lit, but the light was on in the ladies room, and it shone brightly into the hallway when I opened the door.
"Come on, Lex," I said, as I walked in.
An older woman was washing her hands, and looked at me with surprise when I came in talking. There were two stalls and I could clearly see that one of them was wide open and no one was inside. Assuming that Lexi was in the other one, I crossed to it and tapped on the door.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked.
The woman finished washing her hands and walked out without so much as a glance in my direction.
Lexi didn't answer.
"Lexi," I said a little louder, and when she didn't answer immediately, I bent to look under the door. There were no Chuck Taylors. In fact, there were no shoes at all. I pushed the handle, and it easily swung open revealing an empty stall.
My heart, which was already beating slightly faster than usual, began pounding in my chest.
"Lexi?" I called. I looked in both stalls again just to make sure I wasn't missing anything. I looked in every corner of the small ladies room before walking out into the hallway. I stared toward the busy restaurant, wondering if there was some way we'd crossed paths. My gut clenched and my heart continued to pound. I walked far enough into the restaurant to get a glimpse of the bar just in case she was sitting there eating pie.
No Lexi.
I went back down the hallway. There were two other doors along the same wall as the ladies room. The lighting was terrible, but I could see that one was the men's room and the other was marked
employees only
. I shook the handle of the one for employees only and found out that it was locked.
With my adrenaline pumping, I pushed open the door to the men's room. There was a man standing at the urinal, but he didn't even spare me a glance. I didn't care. I stooped to look under the single stall, but there was no one in there.
"Lexi?" I said, just in case.
That made the man glance my way with a shocked expression. He quickly turned to make sure his crotch was shielded from my view as he said, "I think you have the wrong room."
At least I thought that was what he said. I didn't know and I didn't really care. I went back into the hallway having absolutely no idea what to do next.
"Please, please, please, please," I whispered to no one in particular as I stood there feeling overwhelmed with adrenaline. My body was buzzing with it. I shifted my focus to the other end of the hallway and noticed a door at the very end. I could see, even in the dark that it was cracked open. The closer I got, the more confident I was that it would take me outside. I felt a slight sense of hope telling myself that Lexi might have found it and stepped outside for some reason.
I pushed it open and stepped into the gravel on the other side. "Lexi?" I called again, looking around. I was obviously in the back of the truck stop. On one side of me was a bunch of woods, and on the other was a gravel parking lot. I cupped my hands around my mouth. "Lexi?" I yelled.
I remembered looking for her shoes in the bathroom, and for some reason, the idea hit me to stoop down and look for her shoes in the parking lot. I did just that, but didn't see a thing. There were about ten or so cars back there, but no one in sight.
I was just about to run around to the front of the building when a slight movement caught my eye. I noticed something moving in between two of the cars, and I got even further down onto the ground to try to get a better look. My face was basically pressed to the gravel by the time I could see what it was. It definitely wasn't a pair of Converse. There was a person back there, but from what I could see in the dark, they were wearing dark pants and shoes.
I stood, feeling scared and defeated. I almost took off toward the front of the building, but decided to follow-up with the person back there just in case they'd seen Lexi. I quickly walked in that direction, but slowed down a little as I got closer.
I thought I heard sounds of a struggle, so I stopped short so I could hear it over the crunch of gravel beneath my feet. I took a few quiet steps toward the person, listening closely. My heart was pounding so profusely that I could hardly concentrate on listening. A few steps more, and something came into view, I saw a man's back. He was thrusting forward again and again as if he was pounding something into the cab of his truck with his own body.
Another step and I saw my sister's red shoe as her leg kicked. "Be still," he said in a strained tone. "You know you want it. You were just asking for it with that mini skirt."
I heard her make another sound of struggle and again saw the back of his body begin to thrust forward.
I can't explain what washed over me. I can't explain why I did what I did next. All I can say is that it seemed, at the time, like I had no other option. My heart was pounding so hard it was as if it wasn't even pounding anymore—it was just wide-open, letting blood and adrenaline course through my veins.
I barely remember digging in my purse to find the knife. My hand went right to it, and I opened it like a skilled professional. Within seconds of realizing that my baby sister was being raped, I was standing behind him ready to stick him like the pig he was. Tara's words about how difficult it was to pierce flesh resonated in my mind as I made a wide, side-armed swing landing the knife in the right side of his back near what I thought was the bottom of his ribs. I swung so hard that as I buried it to the hilt, a sharp shooting pain went up my hand and arm from the impact.
He cussed as he turned around. I vaguely caught a glimpse of him, but my attention was focused on my sister who fell out of the truck and was now scampering around him to get to me. She almost knocked me over when she flew in my direction. I caught her, and we stumbled for a second but quickly regained our balance.
He let out a string of profanity, which drew my attention. I glanced at him as we started running. I glanced long enough to watch him reach back to the place where he'd been hit, but then I looked away. I didn't want to see what happened next. I didn't want to see the look of shock when he figured out there was a knife in his back. I didn't want to see whether or not he pulled it out. All I wanted to do was run.
One second, I'd turned to run away, and the next, I was sitting in my truck starting the engine. I honestly didn't remember running through the parking lot or finding and unlocking my truck. I was panting from exhaustion as I turned the key.
There was a mound of clothes between Lexi and I, but I looked over at her for the briefest of seconds before I put the truck in reverse. She was slumped over with her face between her knees. I could tell by the rapid rise and fall of her chest that she was still catching her breath or crying or both.
My ears were ringing. I couldn’t hear her or the sound of the engine or anything besides the deafening ringing sound within my own head. The next thing I knew, I was pulling out of the parking lot onto the street, checking my rear view mirror every few seconds to make sure I wasn't being followed. There was one traffic light between us and the interstate, and on my way to it I considered driving to a police station to report everything that had happened.
The light turned red just as I approached, so I slowed and came to a stop. Those seconds seemed like a lifetime. I gasped for air, feeling like my lungs weren't working properly as I continued to stare into my rearview mirror to make sure he wasn't coming. It had probably only been a few seconds since I stopped, but it seemed like that light would never, ever turn green.
It crossed my mind that it was ludicrous for me to obey a traffic signal after I'd just stabbed a man, but for whatever reason, I still didn't run the light. Lexi picked her head up to look out the window, and I glanced over at her when she did. She stared blankly at the red light for a second or two.
"Why are you stopping?" she asked seeming stunned and confused.
"I don't know," I said desperately.
"Go!" she called, obviously terrified.
I glanced in the rearview mirror again and saw that there was no one behind us. "Do you think we should go to the police or something?" I said frantically.
"No!" she cried. "Just get me out of here!"
I was already halfway through the intersection when the light turned green. I could see it change just as I drove under it.
Numbly, I headed south toward San Francisco. The sounds of crying and whimpering and trying to catch our breath filled the cab, but neither of us spoke.
It didn't occur to me until we were a few miles down the road that Lexi probably didn't even know I stabbed that guy. I wasn't sure if I'd tell her.
Neither of us said a word for a while.
I wasn't sure how long it had been when I finally said, "Are you hurt, Lex?"
She breathed a humorless laugh in answer to my question.
"I mean physically," I clarified, speaking softly. "Do you need me to take you to a hospital or anything?"
"No." she answered so quickly that I could tell that was the last thing she wanted to do.
"Did he hurt you?" I asked cautiously.
"He wasn't gentle," she said.
I took my eyes off the road long enough to glance at her. She was staring straight ahead with a dazed expression. It was at that moment I thought about telling her what I'd done. I thought for some reason that it'd make her feel a little better, like maybe he got what he deserved. The words almost came out of my mouth, but before they did, I reconsidered. Something inside me didn’t want her to have to share the burden of what I'd done in her defense… or maybe it was that I just didn't want to tell anyone about it for my own sake. Either way, I reconsidered telling her and kept it to myself.
"Are you sure you don't want to get checked out or anything?" I asked.
"I don’t want to get checked out, Laney. I don’t want to think or talk about what happened ever again. The sooner I can forget it, the better."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked.
"What would it help? I can't go back and undo what just happened, can I?"
"No," I said, "but you can talk about it."
"To you?"
"To me or to a doctor or something."
"I'm not going to see a doctor. There's nothing they can do for me, and there's nothing to say. A guy drug me into a parking lot and forced himself on me. I'm sure I'm not the first girl it's ever happened to."
I glanced her way again trying to get a read on how she was really feeling. I was still really shaken and I knew she was too. A few seconds of silence passed between us.
"I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner." I said finally.
"It's not your fault," she said. "None of it is. I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom by myself." She paused. "I shouldn't have been wearing this skirt."
"Don't say that, Lexi. Your skirt had nothing to do with what happened. Those were the words of a pig trying to justify his own actions. There is no way I'm letting you put any part of this on yourself. You did nothing to deserve what just happened back there."
We were quiet for a bit longer, and she was the next to speak. "I think I would like to try to just pretend this never happened. Do you think that's okay?"
"I don't see why not," I said. Truth was, I didn’t know if that was a good idea or not. There was no handbook for this type of thing. At that point, denial seemed like as good a plan as any. In fact, I was planning on trying it out myself.
"Do you want to go back home?" I asked.
From the corner of my eye, I saw her head turn as she looked at me. "Of course not," she said. "That's the
opposite
of acting like this never happened. If we went back, everyone would ask us why we were there."
"I was just making sure," I said. "I wanted you to know I'd be willing to go back if you wanted to."
"I want to take a shower in our new apartment and act like this never happened," she said.
"I'm okay with that," I said. "But you have to promise to come to me if you ever need to talk about anything."
"I will," she said.
We sat in silence for quite a long while after that. We weren't far from Sacramento when I asked her to look at the atlas. I knew there was a bypass we should take, but I needed her to tell me where it was.
We found our way to the bypass and were not too far outside of San Francisco when we had to stop at a gas station to pick up a city map so we could make it to our apartment. She stuck right by my side when we went in to buy it.
I wasn't used to driving in a city this size, but we managed to find our way to the apartment without too much of a hassle. The apartment was over a garage on our new landlord's property. The owner knew we'd be rolling into town this evening and said we could just knock on their door to get the key when we arrived.
Neither of us felt like talking right then, but there was really no way to avoid it if we wanted to get the key. I was pleasantly surprised when we pulled into the driveway. The houses were cramped together so tightly they almost touched each other, but it was a nice neighborhood and a really nice house, at least it seemed so in the dark.
The garage was behind the house and wasn't nearly as grand as the main house, but I'd seen pictures and knew it wouldn't be elaborate or anything.
"Why are there so many cars?" Lexi asked.
"I think the upstairs of the garage is broken up into two apartments," I said. "I called the landlord to tell him I'd be bringing the truck, and he made sure I knew to park in the spot all the way on the right. He said our neighbor had the spot on the left."
"Do you think they're gonna want to sit down and have a big chat with us or anything?" she asked as we made our way to the front door of the main house.
"Not this late," I said. "I'm sure he'll just hand me the key."
The landlord looked exactly like I imagined. He was a middle-aged man with black and grey hair and a little bit of a belly. He wore a big smile when he opened the door, and I returned it as best I could even though I felt like I was in some sort of alternate reality.
We had a brief conversation where he asked us about the drive and told me his wife was already sleeping but that he'd introduce us sometime soon. I introduced him to Lexi. She smiled and shook his hand but stayed pretty quiet. He said our apartment was the far door marked with a 2 and that he hoped we were comfortable in there. He told us to call if we needed anything.
We stopped at the truck to grab an armful of things before we made our way to the apartment for the first time. It was what most people would consider tiny and rustic, but compared to the run-down shack we were living in with our mother it was lovely.
I knew my sister would have normally been bursting at the seams to check out our new place, and it made my heart heavy to watch her walk around it in a dazed state. We turned every light on so we could get a better look at the place we'd be calling home. It only had one bedroom, but we were accustomed to sharing a room, so that wasn't a big deal.
The kitchen and bathroom were both small, but were both so much cleaner than our old house that we couldn't help but smile. The relief of being in a clean house after so many years of filth was enough to cut through some of the shock we were feeling.
"This place smells like a hotel," she said.
"It smells like heaven," I said taking a deep breath in through my nose. "I say we grab enough clothes for tonight and leave the rest for tomorrow."
She shrugged, glancing at the handful of clothes she had in her arms. I think I have enough right here," she said.
I tossed my stuff onto the couch. "Why don't you take first shower?" I said.
Right after it came out of my mouth, I worried that I'd said the wrong thing by implying that she needed a shower, but she gave me a half smile and said, "Sounds good."
She disappeared into the bathroom, and I turned on the TV for some distraction. Basic cable was included with the apartment. I didn't care what was on as long as it wasn't the news. I found a rerun of Everybody Loves Raymond, which seemed like the perfect background noise.
I rooted around in the kitchen for a few minutes. It was furnished with a few pots and pans, some plates, glasses, kitchen utensils, and silverware. There was a microwave and a toaster on the countertop. I opened the fridge and freezer to check it out, and just as I thought, they were completely empty.
I was sitting on the couch when Lexi came out of the bathroom. "These clothes stink," she said.
"Just throw them in the trash," I said.
"I’m talking about the ones I just put on," she said. "The clean ones. They stink." She lifted the shirt she'd just put on to her nose and gave it a big whiff. "All our stuff smells terrible compared to this place. I think we need all new stuff."
"It's just smoke," I said. "It'll be better once we wash it a few times. There's a washer and dryer downstairs in the garage. We'll wash everything in the morning."
"I can't believe we live in a clean house," she said sitting next to me.
"Speaking of clean," I said, standing. "I think I'll switch places with you."
She nodded. "They left us a bar of soap under the bathroom sink. I washed my hair with it."
"I guess we need to pick up a few things," I said, making my way to the bathroom. "You can make a list while I'm taking a shower."
"On what paper?" she said.
I laughed. "I guess we need to put that on the list."
The next couple of days went by quickly. Our neighbor in the other apartment was a young guy named Andy who was going to college. He was a little nerdy and liked to laugh and joke around a lot, but seemed really nice. He laughed about how we drove a "cable truck", but said he was glad to have two cool girls as neighbors.
We ran into Ken and Kathy, our landlords, a time or two. They were both very nice as well. It seemed like an ideal living situation. I was extremely grateful for this because I was still carrying a heavy load as a result of the incident on the way there.
Lexi was definitely still on edge in spite of her refusal to talk about it. She'd lost the cheerful side to her personality that I desperately hoped would resurface. I did my best to act unaffected, but she could probably tell I was faking it.
I never did tell her what I did to that man. I had no good reason to keep it secret, but I also had no good reason to tell her, so I just remained silent. I kept thinking about how things could have turned out differently. I thought if we'd taken the Greyhound then we'd never have stopped at that truck stop. I thought about how I could have said no to the chicken fried steak, or how I should have gone with her to the bathroom.
I analyzed everything over and over again, until I finally realized that was pointless. There was nothing I could do to change what had happened. I had no other choice but to move forward. That was easier said than done, but all I could do was hope it would get easier as time went on. I had to believe it would.
Getting settled in our new place turned out to be a pretty good distraction. We had a lot of things to do. We went to the store to buy food and basic everyday items like shampoo and laundry detergent. It took about five trips through the laundry to get the smoke out of our clothes, and even after that you could still faintly smell it if you stuck your face in it and sniffed real hard.
Lexi and I didn't talk about Mom much other than mentioning how weird it was to not have cigarette butts and vodka bottles lying everywhere.
After we'd been there getting settled for a couple of days, I thought it was time for me to look for a job. I still had a good bit of the five thousand dollars I came with, but I realized based on a few trips to the store that it would be gone before I knew it.
I had plans to meet with Peter Craig the following week, but thought I might go pick up a few job applications before then. There was only one issue. I was going to have a hard time letting Lexi out of my sight. I knew I couldn’t stayed glued to her forever, but geez, I just didn't feel ready to be apart from her—at least not yet. I hadn't asked her about it, so I wasn't sure how she felt, but I had to imagine she was as reluctant to leave my side as I was to leave hers.
We were sitting on the couch when I first brought it up. "What do you think about picking up a few job applications tomorrow?" I asked.
"I think we should," she said.
"We can try to get a job at the same place," I said.
"Why do you want to do that?"
I was taken aback by the question. "I guess I just thought you'd want to."
She smiled at me as if she knew what I wasn't saying. "I wouldn't mind working at the same place, but not because I'm scared or anything," she said.
"You're not?" I asked.
She shrugged. "I mean, I guess I am—a little anyway. But I can't let it control me. I can't let it rule my life. You're not gonna be able to be with me every second of every day, and that's okay."
I was stunned by how strong she was being.
She shrugged. "You've got your stained glass thing starting next week. I'm not gonna be able to tag along with you to that. I might as well get used to the idea of being by myself sometimes."
I just stared at her. I honestly didn't know how I felt. I hated the idea of leaving her alone, even for something I loved like stained glass.
She must have seen the reluctance in my expression because she said, "It's okay, Laney. Everything's gonna be okay."