Song of the Surf (Pacific Shores Book 3) (10 page)

He took a second to study her, since her attention was fixed elsewhere at the moment. Today she wore her long blonde hair straight and flowing past her shoulders. Her oval face glowed with happiness as she watched Reece seat Marie at the head of the table. Her lips turned up just slightly, and joy crinkled the corners of her lake-blue eyes.

He swallowed. Definitely a face a guy would love to wake up to for the rest of his life. But he had no right to be staring, as evidenced by her wrinkled nose that suddenly captured his focus. She’d caught his scrutiny.

He purposely held her gaze, lifted his brows, and dropped her a wink. He did it because the pink that touched her cheeks had enchanted him often this afternoon and he wanted to see it one more time. He wasn’t disappointed for his efforts.

She looked down and leaned more heavily on her crutches.

He wasn’t acting like much of a gentleman. Quickly he remedied that by pulling out the nearest chair for her. She’d been a real trooper this afternoon but he knew her ankle and arm were probably throbbing to beat the band right about now.

“Thanks.” She sank into her seat.

He took the crutches from her and walked them to the corner and leaned them there before returning to take his seat next to her. “How are you doing? Do you need any pain killers?”

Weariness seemed to drape her features. “Actually, I think I will take something. I’ve got a pretty bad headache coming on.”

He watched her fumble through her purse and felt a wave of concern. She’d probably been on her feet far too long today. And he knew she’d stayed up much too late last night doing all the calligraphy on the tent cards for the tables at the reception. She had the bottle of pills in her hand now, but her hands were trembling, and she seemed to be having a hard time with the cap. “Here, let me.” He took the bottle and opened it, then handed it back to her. “Do you want me just to take you back to Serenity Shores? You’ve been on your feet a long time today.”

“No. No.” She shook her head and gave him a smile he felt sure was forced. “I’ll be fine in a few minutes. Just had a wave of exhaustion wash over me a minute ago. But I think it’s simply from being in a bit of pain all day long.” She swallowed down two of the pills.

“Marie’s lucky to have a friend like you.” He meant it. Dakota was a person who would always put the needs of another above her own.

Dakota grinned at him. “She’d be luckier if I could dance.”

He chuckled. “You did just fine.”

“Thanks to you.”

He shrugged and lifted his hands. “What can I say? We’re good together.”

Her lips thinned like she thought he probably expected her to smile at that but her heart wasn’t really in it.

Back off, Justus. Give her some space
.

The problem was, the more time he spent with her, the less he wanted to give her space.

Riley couldn’t believe she’d missed the fact that the rehearsal dinner was going to be held at Fisherman’s Wharf. It took nearly every morsel of resolve she possessed to climb from the car in the parking lot when Jalen pulled into a spot in front of the log and stone building. Golden light spilled from the large windows, and the setting sun had washed the sky behind the building a pale pink, but the ambiance did nothing to sooth the rapid beating of her heart. Nor did it make the suddenly illusive oxygen any more prevalent.

If not for Jalen’s steady assessment, she might have just given in to the desire to curl herself into a little ball and rock the past several years away. But he was there. And his seemingly all-seeing gaze was fastened to her as though he sensed something was wrong even though she felt certain she’d given no visible reaction. So she drew in a calming breath and forced one foot in front of the other.

Through dinner and all the chit chat she held her silence, picking at her food and doing her best to look like she was having a good time. Thankfully Marie was so enthralled and excited, she wasn’t her normally observant self, and everyone else was keeping her busy.

But now, dinner was over and Riley’d really had about all that she could take of the room. Maybe God was tormenting her because, even though the tables were arranged slightly differently, the place she wound up sitting was almost the exact location where she’d sat as she waited for Nate to arrive for their date that night all those years ago. The night her life had started to fall utterly and completely apart. Before that summer night, at least she’d had some tattered rags to grab onto – and she’d been clinging to them for all she was worth, even though doing so was threatening to pull her limb from limb. She’d even tried to get Nate to marry her.

But after that night. After the wreck. And the boy who’d been killed…Nate had just never been the same.

She remembered the feel of her phone vibrating. Thinking Nate must have gotten tied up at work. Glancing down. Seeing that it was the hospital calling. She remembered the wave of dread that had washed over her. How a seagull had swept past the window and cavorted with a breeze as she’d pressed her phone to her ear and answered with a tremulous, “Hello?”

Her hands clenched so hard they trembled.

Beside her Jalen shifted. “Everything okay?”

She’d have liked to tell him to take his quiet attentiveness and eat it. But the last thing she wanted was to make Marie feel bad for having her rehearsal dinner here. It wasn’t her fault, after all, that Nate had chosen to go drinking and surfing after work that day instead of coming straight here like they’d planned. Not her fault a kid had died. Not her fault that Nate had let his guilt eat away the rest of his humanity.

Jalen was still watching her.

She waved away his concern. “I just need a bit of air.” She stood and headed for the nearest door, which took her out onto the restaurant’s back deck.

Dinner must have taken even longer than she’d thought because moonlight now glinted off the undulating surface of the inky ocean. The soft
shush
ing of the waves did nothing to sooth her like it normally did. Her cast clunked against the rail as she rested her forearms on it, and suddenly she couldn’t hold the tears at bay for another moment. What was she supposed to do with her life? She couldn’t live at House of Hope expecting others to take care of her forever, especially now that the house needed to be rebuilt and she was just an extra burden to everyone.

And to add insult to injury, she missed Nate. She must be losing her mind. Nate had stolen
everything
from her, even her child –
their
child – and she could only think how she wished she could see his face just one more time.

Anger at her continued weakness surged through her. Consign the man to the vilest region of hell, if hell even existed, which she doubted. If there was a God, He’d certainly given her the short end of the stick when it came to blessings. And since everyone always talked about God’s love, she had to conclude He didn’t exist. How loving was it for Him to put her in a home with a workaholic for a father? A mother who had to be at every social event, charity auction, or country club shindig that offered alcohol, and who was always emotionally barricaded behind the Great Wall of China? What kind of God would let an accident like that happen and allow Nate to become so cruel without consequences? No…if God was love, nothing in her life showed proof of His existence. And yet…there were good, kind, loving people like Marie and Dakota who believed in Him…

Behind her, the door opened, and soft footsteps crossed the deck.

She balled up her fists and dashed at the moisture on her cheeks with her wrists. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone?

Jalen stopped beside her and held out her coat. “Figured you’d be getting cold out here.”

He was right, but she hadn’t noticed until he mentioned it. She accepted the jacket and jerked it around her shoulders. “Thanks.”

He folded his broad hands together, leaned against the rail and studied the star sprinkled sky above them.

She wished he would go inside and leave her alone to enjoy her misery.

She heard him swallow, and then he spoke so softly she almost didn’t hear the words. “My sister’s husband killed her.”

A jolt of shock spun her towards him.

His gaze remained fixed on the night sky. “I was sixteen when it happened. We all knew he didn’t treat her right. But none of us thought it would go that far or even close, I guess. One night he just…lost it… He’s serving life down in Salem now.” He turned his back to the rail and rested his elbows on it, looking her right in the face. “She’s one of the reasons I work with Justus at Deschutes Rejuvenation. I figure if I can reach one or two of those boys before they become like my brother-in-law, I’ll be doing my part for this world. What God put me here for.” He tilted his head, his eyes soft and full of understanding. “He’ll help you find your place too, Riley. But you have to give yourself time.”

She smirked. She couldn’t help herself. “You think God has a plan for me, Jalen?”

His brows went up. “You don’t?”

A bark of cynical laughter popped free before she could prevent it. She held up her cast and then gestured to the eye she knew was still red and ugly. “Maybe God’s plans are for me to be some man’s punching bag?”

A muscle ticked in Jalen’s jaw, and a sheen of moisture filled his eyes. But he held his silence, only studying her with something like disappointment in his expression.

And she hated that she’d hurt him. Sure she’d been going to church with Marie and Dakota for weeks, but that didn’t mean she was buying into all the rhetoric. She spun away from him before she did something really stupid like collapse into his arms. “Go away, Jalen. I just need some time to myself.”

The deck creaked, and she felt the barest caress of his fingers against her shoulder. “I’m praying for you, Riley.” And then he slipped quietly back into the restaurant.

Dakota felt a wave of concern as Jalen came into the room. He looked troubled. She stood and strode toward him, doing her best to ignore the pain pulsing through her foot. “Jalen?”

He rested his hands on his hips and pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “Something isn’t right, Dakota. Something about this place has her even more on edge than usual. I’m worried about her.”

She touched his arm. “I’ll go talk to her.”

The chill breeze seemed to bite into every pore as Dakota stepped out onto the deck. She tucked her arms together and stopped at the rail next to Riley.

Riley glanced over, but from the look on her face it was obvious she didn’t want to talk to anyone. Her jaw jutted off to one side and she snorted. “He send you out here to make sure I wasn't going to jump off into the water?” Immediately Riley's face cringed. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.” She waved a hand, encompassing the beach, the ocean, the restaurant behind them. “I'm just…in a mood I guess."

Dakota hunched into her shoulders and leaned on the rail beside her. “Want to talk about it?”

Riley sighed. She rubbed the back of her neck, staring down into the dark shadows on the sand below them. “Not sure there's much to talk about that I haven't already rehearsed half to death.” She pointed back into the restaurant. “This is the place where Nate’s and my life started to fall apart. Well, actually Nate started to pull it apart before that night but… I was here waiting for him… We were supposed to have dinner. He was late. I thought he’d just gotten tied up at work. But…" She laughed bitterly. "Turned out that Nate was more interested in drinking and surfing than in having dinner with me.”

Dakota frowned, not sure she was quite following the disjointed story but a strange buzzing—a begging for attention—danced at the edges of her mind.

Riley seemed to be on a roll, and if Dakota's face had paled at all she didn't seem to notice. Her finger jabbed back toward the restaurant once more. “I was sitting at a table pretty close to where we were tonight, waiting for him to come. My phone rang. It was the hospital. Nate had been in a wreck out on 101. A kid was killed. Just a young guy not even out of high school yet. He was riding his motorbike with his girlfriend.”

Dakota felt the strength leaving her knees. The rail took most of her weight, and it was only by sheer will that she kept on breathing.

Riley’s voice trembled when she continued. “Nate was never the same after that. He'd been a little hard around the edges before then, but after that… He just… Well… That's when our lives took the turn that brought us to this.” She gestured to her cast and blood-red eye.

Dakota clung to the rail for dear life, the headache that had been plaguing her all evening sprung to the fore with new vengeance. Her jaw dropped open but she couldn't seem to find even one word to say. She was supposed to be comforting and counseling Riley. She needed to get a grip.

“The crazy thing is,” Riley continued, “I was sitting in there just now feeling all miserable and of all the crazy things missing Nate.
Missing
him!” She cursed. “After all he did to me… You’d think I would be relieved now that he's gone.” She scooped a hand back through her hair. Suddenly Riley stilled and Dakota realized she was looking at her. A frown pinched Riley's brow. “Did I say something wrong?”