Songbird (41 page)

For
some strange reason, Angelique’s approval of our affair had quelled any guilty
feelings of my own and in fact, had heightened my arousal considerably.  After
leaving her that extraordinary night, I had indeed gone to my room and waited
for Brett.  My desire for him had been overwhelming and I had given myself to
him passionately, lifting my body to meet his with cries of pleasure that
surprised even me.

“May
I invite Danny?  And Diamond and Nan?”

“All
your family may come, if you wish.”

“I’ll
telegraph them immediately,” I said.

I was very happy
over the next week as I helped to organise the remaining few things that were
needed for the ball.  Brett stood back amused at my friendship with his wife. 
But, of course, he didn’t know the truth.

Everything
was arranged.  I had received a letter from Nan saying that she intended to
stay behind to take care of Ruth, but Diamond, Gwilym and Danny would come from
the capital by train. 

Now
and again thoughts of Andrew crossed my mind and I wondered how he was and if
he was happy back at Covent Garden.  After the party, I would return to London
with the family and pay him a visit.  Now that I was contented I wanted to make
amends for the pain I had caused him.  If anything I would like us to be
friends again.

The
day before the ball everyone arrived and the house became like Waterloo
Station.  Lord and Lady Waltham’s party was the first to arrive.

Abigail
held out her hand.  “I’m pleased to meet you again, Mrs Asquith.”

I
took her hand and noticed the pleasant smile, her bright blue eyes unable to
hide her feisty nature.  She looked as though she had something naughty
planned, but she was certainly growing into a beautiful girl now that she had
stopped scowling.

Angelique
tried to take control.  “Now, off to the nursery you two.  Nanny Dorval is
waiting for you.”

Emily
and Abigail ran upstairs and then we greeted Lord and Lady Waltham and Eloise. 
It was wonderful seeing them again, but when Danny, Gwilym and Diamond arrived
later that afternoon I felt as though I was in heaven.

There
were so many of us at dinner that evening that it looked like a state banquet
as Sir Joshua and Lady Portland had arrived, followed by the Marquess of
Salisbury.

I
have never known a happier home than Standford Park, the day of Angelique’s
birthday.  The party would be held in the ballroom and I had peeped into this
room and smiled at its opulence.  Decorated in blue and silver, with three
wonderful chandeliers hanging below a richly painted ceiling depicting fruit,
game and stone jugs of flowing wine, it seemed to stretch right along one wing
of the building.  The orchestra would be seated on a dais and the buffet table
would extend right round the room against the wall.  Even so, there was still
plenty of space for dancing.

I had
decided to wear my sleeveless, silver-grey silk with a low neckline, my hair
tied up with pink rosebuds.  And when it was time to get ready, I felt myself
trembling.  I felt unbelievably happy.  Before I entered the ballroom, I
smoothed out the silk material of my dress and fussed with the rosebuds,
wanting to look my best. 

The
ballroom was crowded, the hum of conversation echoing off the walls.  The
chandeliers seemed like brilliant stars in a fruitful heaven, illuminating the
guests in their finery.  The French windows had been left open to allow in a
cool breeze and outside, lamps flickered along the veranda and lawn allowing
the guests to walk outside as the temperature in the room increased.  Brett was
talking with the guests and he looked in my direction and smiled.

The
orchestra started up and the dancing was underway.  I seemed to dance with
every man in the room, including Brett, who held me too tightly and I had to
whisper that people would notice.  Then came the wonderful buffet, toasts to
Lady Shelbrook and her quiet response, before the dancing restarted.

Lord
Waltham eventually asked me to dance.  “I believe your tour is ended now.  Have
you thought what you might do next?”

“I
haven’t decided.”

“And
you’re the famous opera singer Emmeline Barri?  I think you were having fun at
my expense that morning at Claythorpe when I spoke profusely of your talent.”

I
grimaced.  “Yes and I’m sorry about that but I wanted to keep it a secret. 
Just for a short while I wanted to be Mrs Isabelle Asquith and forget about
singing.”

His
lordship smiled.

The
dance came to an end and Danny came running to my side, with Emily and Abigail
hot on his heels.

“Mama,
Emily’s papa wants you to sing.  Come on.”

Before
I could protest, they pulled me over to the orchestra where the conductor was
waiting, his expression puzzled.

“I’m
not quite sure I understand, Miss Barri, but Lord Shelbrook is offering one
shilling and sixpence if you’ll sing.”

I
looked across to where Brett stood watching.  “Then I’d better take it,” I
giggled.  “But what shall I sing?”

“That
one from Mr Sullivan’s opera.  The one that we used to dance round and round to
in the hotel room,” said Danny, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm.

I
thought for a moment and nodded at the conductor.  “He means the one from
The
Gondoliers
.  It’s supposed to be sung by the chorus, but I improvised.”

The
conductor laughed.  “Do you mean
Dance a Cachuca, Fandango, Bolero
?”

I
nodded.  “Silly, isn’t it.”

“No,
indeed, ma’am.  We can certainly play it.”  Everyone had started to gather
round and I saw Brett step closer, his arms folded, a grin spreading across his
face.  I smiled at him.  The conductor turned to the guests.  “Miss Barri is
going to sing an improvised version of
Dance a Cachuca, Fandango, Bolero
from Mr Sullivan and Mr Gilbert’s
The Gondoliers
.”

There
was a murmur of approval as I took his hand and stepped up beside him.  I faced
the multitude of people in the ballroom.

“But
it is a dance.  So please, keep on dancing,” I said.  Everyone took their
partners.

Standing
two feet above them, I gathered the material of my gown in both my hands and
gently twirled from side to side with the rhythm.  It was a very happy, bouncy
tune and as I sang the dancers skipped round the room in a polka, the only
dance that suited the beat.  I tried not to laugh as Danny danced with both
Emily and Abigail, or meet Brett’s gaze as he watched me, his expression soft,
his feelings apparent for all to see.  Angelique was sitting on a couch talking
to Lady Waltham and turned her head to smile at me.

I
just caught a glimpse of a figure standing to one side of the windows, before I
heard an explosion and I was flying sideways through the air to land with a
thud on the floor.  A burning sensation swept through my shoulder and then a
violent pain that made me gasp and then cry out.  Blood poured from a gaping
wound and I covered the torn flesh with my hand, trying to stem the flow.  I
kept quite still, unable to move, my lips parted sucking in great gulps of air,
trying to force away the pain that was making breathing difficult.  I closed my
eyes and slipped briefly into a void of darkness, before I opened them again
and became aware of the shrieks of fright from the guests and of Brett kneeling
beside me, his face creased in a frown.  His lips were moving but I couldn’t
make out what he was saying.  Gwilym’s concerned expression hovered into view
before I sank into oblivion.

CHAPTER
THIRTY-NINE

I
remember little of the following days, except the pain and figures fading
mistily in and out of my vision.  And then came the day, whether it was morning
or afternoon I had no idea, when I opened my eyes and felt at peace.  I stared
about and almost believed my spirit could lift from my body and float around
the room.  It was an amusing notion until I realised I must be dying.  Yes,
this peculiar sensation was because I was about to make my last journey.  I was
going to meet Papa and Mama again and my darling husband.  And I would have to
answer for my sins.  This worried me and I knew that I had to do one thing
before I left and that was to tell Brett that Angelique was ill and he must
look after her and never leave her.  I turned my head just as he entered the
room and I raised my hand.  He came to sit on the mattress.

“You’re
finally with us,” he smiled.  “Your brother did an amazing job removing…” He
stopped abruptly as I tried to speak.  “No, don’t tire yourself. You must
rest.”

I
would have none of it and insisted.  He bent low over my face listening
intently as I whispered the secret that I had sworn to keep but now couldn’t. 
And when I was finished I closed my eyes and sank into a deep sleep.

But I
did get better and as each day passed I was able to do more.  Sitting up was
wonderful.  I still felt weak and needed help to eat and drink and I slept a
great deal of the time.  Eventually I became more aware of my surroundings.  A
large dressing covered most of my left shoulder although I hadn’t been told
what had happened to me.  The day finally came when I wanted to rise from my
bed.  I struggled to my feet, but then fell to my knees.

The
door opened and a maid came in carrying a tray.  Brett followed at her elbow,
but was at my side in a moment, picking me up in his arms.  The maid placed the
tray on the table, plumped up the pillows and straightened the covers ready for
my poor aching body.

“Now,
you shouldn’t be up and about just yet,” said Brett, smiling.

“I
must get up.  I want to move around.”

He
chuckled.  “Your brother said you’d want to be up and about very soon.”  He
carried me back to bed and helped me in, tucking the covers round me.  “Do you
remember what happened at Angelique’s party?”

I
stared up at him and then all the horror returned to me.  “Angelique’s party! 
I was singing…and then there was that terrible pain.”

Brett
nodded.  “Well, that pain came from a bullet when it struck your shoulder.” 

The
maid flipped out the small legs on the tray and placed it across my lap and
then poured out a cup of tea and handed it to me. 

I
sipped my drink.  “I want to know everything.  Who shot me?  Who would want
to?”

His
expression was dark and I knew he was struggling with how much he should tell
me. 

“Well,
someone certainly had that intention.  But he’s been caught.  In fact, he was
caught immediately and is now in custody.”

“Who
was it?”

“Your
manager, Mr Andrew Perry.”

Danny came to
see me the following day after the maid had helped me bathe and change into a
fresh nightgown.  We spent a wonderful hour together and he clung to me hardly
believing that I was sitting up and able to pay attention.

“You’ve
been asleep for such a long time, Mama.  I was so worried you might not wake
up.”

I
stroked his face.  “I would never leave you, dearest.  Besides I have to get
better to see you in your play at Christmas.”

“May
Emily and Abigail come in?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,
of course.  I want to see them.”

Everyone
came to see me over the next two days and Gwilym was the best doctor any
patient could have.  He explained that the bullet had penetrated my shoulder
and he had had to perform surgery to remove it.  Infection was the main worry
but the wound was clean and healing well.

When
Diamond came to see me, I held her hand tightly.  “How could Andrew do that to
me?”  I shook my head in bewilderment.  “To want me dead is bad enough but he
discharged a weapon in a crowded room.  He could have hit anyone, even one of
the children.”

“He
hasn’t said much since his arrest.  Only that it was revenge.”

“Revenge?”

She
nodded.  “You must have hurt him terribly when you turned down his proposal of
marriage.”

But I
knew there was more to it than a simple rejection.   

My health
improved until I was able to sit by the window and watch the gardeners weeding
and cutting back the roses.  Sometimes I saw the children running to the meadow
and often I would see Gwilym or Diamond walking along the path.  Visitors were
constant and Angelique often came to sit with me. 

One
day, about ten days after the shooting, I was sitting by the window, my
dressing gown wrapped warmly round me, when Emily burst into the room with her
father close behind.

She
hung her arms round my neck.  “Mama,” she said, her eyelashes glistening with
tears.

I
held her close and looked at Brett who nodded.  “Angelique and I decided it was
time she knew.”

“But
I won’t tell anyone else,” she whispered.  “You’re a very important person and
I don’t want people to talk about you.”

I
smiled and held her close.

Brett
narrowed his eyes.  “I’ve also been discussing health matters with my wife and
it seems I now know the truth.”

I
grimaced at my betrayal.  “I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Angelique
has agreed it was a foolish thing to hide her illness from me.  She bears you
no animosity.”

Emily
nodded.  “Her heart is broken, so we must take good care of her.”

I arrived home
at the beginning of November when it was starting to turn chilly.  Gwilym
accompanied me and in fact, he had travelled between the capital and Wiltshire
looking after his wife and sister in turn.  Nan was at the window, waiting for
the cab to pull up outside the front door and when it did, everyone spilled out
onto the pavement to greet us.  Seeing Ruth again was unbelievable, her small
build huge now that she was days away from delivering her baby.  I already knew
that Diamond and Victor had postponed their wedding until January until after
the birth and also allowing me to recover completely. 

That
evening everyone was full of the news of Andrew Perry and his attempt on my
life.

“Good
thing he didn’t succeed,” said Gwilym grimly.  “Not only would Danny have lost
his mother and I a sister, but also he would be facing the gallows.”

I
shuddered at the thought. 

“We’ll
have to attend his trial, of course,” said Diamond.  “But how did he get his
hands on a revolver?”

I
nodded.  “I was told it was one his father used in the Crimea.”  I paused
before adding, “I’d like to speak in his defence.  I’m partially to blame for
what he did.”

Everyone
stared at me.

Diamond
scoffed.  “No, you’re not.  Simply because you wouldn’t marry him.  That’s
preposterous.”

“I
must give him something of a character and tell the jury that he’s not an evil
person at heart.”

“It’s
up to you but I wouldn’t,” said Diamond and turned her face away.

I
smiled at the others in the room and knew that although puzzled they would
understand.

Three days after
returning home, I visited Andrew in Pentonville.  He looked drawn and older,
his prison clothes hanging on his slender frame.  My heart melted at the sight
of him even though at first he didn’t seem to want to look me in the eye.  But
when I told him that I would speak for him in court he turned to stare at me in
bewilderment.

He
cleared his throat.  “That’s good of you but you don’t need to do that.”

“I
want to do it,” I nodded. 

I
looked round the bleak room with high, narrow and barred windows.  A partition
segregated visitor from prisoner and only an iron grill, hardly a foot square,
allowed us to communicate.  On Andrew’s side of the partition I noticed a
prison guard standing against the wall, watching us.

“Why?”
He shuffled in his chair and I heard the clank of chains.  Horror swept through
me as I realised his ankles must be manacled.

I
tried to keep my emotions under control.  “It was my fault that you turned
against me.  I don’t understand why that led to your wanting me dead, only you
know that.”

“The
doctors say I suffered a nervous collapse and that I didn’t know my own mind.”

“And
what do you think?” 

He
grimaced.  “Perhaps it was a nervous collapse.  All I know is that I felt an
intense hatred for you and that’s why I sent the letter.”

“You
threatened me in that letter.”  My voice was thick as I thought of dark
desires, ghastly deeds and madness.  The sinister elements of
Macbeth
that Brett and I had spoken of at our first luncheon.

“But
I didn’t intend taking your life.  I meant that you wouldn’t sing
professionally again.  I was going to ruin your career.”

“What
changed your mind and made you decide…to end my life?”

He
passed a weary hand across his face.  “The realisation that singing or not you
would still be with Lord Shelbrook.  I couldn’t bear the thought.”

“Even
so, I will stand up in court and speak for you.”

“They’ll
say you’re breaking all the rules.”

“Rules
are meant to be broken,” I smiled.