“Sookie, what could I have done?” he asked. “What could I have done?” There was an edge of anger in his voice.
“What can
I
do?” I asked in return, because I had no answer for him.
“I sent Frannie! I tried to warn you!”
“Too little, too late,” I said. I second-guessed myself immediately: Was I being too hard, unfair, ungrateful? “If you’d called me weeks ago, even once, I might feel different. But I guess you were too busy trying to find your mother.”
“So you’re breaking up with me because of my mother,” he said. He sounded bitter and I didn’t blame him.
“Yes,” I said after a moment’s inner testing of my own resolve. “I think I am. It’s not your mom as much as her whole situation. Your mother will always have to come first as long as she’s alive, because she’s so damaged. I’ve got sympathy for that, believe me. And I’m sorry that you and Frannie have a hard row to hoe. I know all about hard rows.”
Quinn was looking down into his coffee mug, his face drawn with anger and weariness. This was probably the worst possible moment to be having this showdown, and yet it had to be done. I hurt too bad to let it last any longer.
“Yet, knowing all this, and knowing I care for you, you don’t want to see me anymore,” Quinn said, biting each word out. “You don’t want to try to make it work.”
“I care for you, too, and I had hoped we’d have a lot more,” I said. “But last night was just too much for me. Remember, I had to find out your past from someone else? I think maybe you didn’t tell me about it from the start because you knew it would be an issue. Not your pit fighting—I don’t care about that. But your mom and Frannie . . . Well, they’re your family. They’re . . . dependent. They have to have you. They’ll always come first.” I stopped for a moment, biting the inside of my cheek. This was the hardest part. “I want to be first. I know that’s selfish, and maybe unattainable, and maybe shallow. But I just want to come first with someone. If that’s wrong of me, so be it. I’ll be wrong. But that’s the way I feel.”
“Then there’s nothing left to talk about,” Quinn said after a moment’s thought. He looked at me bleakly. I couldn’t disagree. His big hands flat on the table, he pushed to his feet and left.
I felt like a bad person. I felt miserable and bereft. I felt like a selfish bitch.
But I let him walk out the door.
Chapter 14
While I was getting ready for work—yes, even after a night
like the one I’d had, I had to go to work—there was a knock at the front door. I’d heard something big coming down the driveway, so I’d tied my shoes hastily.
The FedEx truck was not a frequent visitor at my house, and the thin woman who hopped out was a stranger. I opened the battered front door with some difficulty. It was never going to be the same after Quinn’s entrance the night before. I made a mental note to call the Lowe’s in Clarice to ask about a replacement. Maybe Jason would help me hang it. The FedEx lady gave a long look at the door’s splintered condition when I finally got it open.
“You want to sign for this?” she said as she held out a package, tactfully not commenting.
“Sure.” I accepted the box, a little puzzled. It had come from Fangtasia. Huh. As soon as the truck had wheeled back out to Hummingbird Road, I opened the package. It was a red cell phone. It was programmed to my number. There was a note with it. “Sorry about the other one, lover,” it read. Signed with a big “E.” There was a charger included. And a car charger, too. And a notice that my first six months’ bill had been paid.
With a kind of bemused feeling, I heard another truck coming. I didn’t even bother to move from the front porch. The new arrival was from the Shreveport Home Depot. It was a new front door, very pretty, with a two-man crew to install it. All charges had been taken care of.
I wondered if Eric would clean out my dryer vent.
I got to Merlotte’s early so I could have a talk with Sam. But his office door was shut, and I could hear voices inside. Though not unheard of, the closed door was rare. I was instantly concerned and curious. I could read Sam’s familiar mental signature, and there was another one that I had encountered before. I heard a scrape of chair legs inside, and I hastily stepped into the storeroom before the door opened.
Tanya Grissom walked by.
I waited for a couple of beats, then decided my business was so urgent I had to risk a conversation with Sam, though he might not be in the mood for it. My boss was still in his creaky wooden rolling chair, his feet propped on the desk. His hair was even more of a mess than usual. He looked like he had a reddish halo. He also looked thoughtful and preoccupied, but when I said I needed to tell him some things, he nodded and asked me to shut the door.
“Do you know what happened last night?” I asked.
“I hear there was a hostile takeover,” Sam said. He tilted back on the springs of his rolling chair, and they squeaked in an irritating way. I was definitely balancing on a thin edge today, so I had to bite my lip to keep from snapping at him.
“Yeah, you might say that.” A hostile takeover was pretty much a perfect way to put it. I told him what had happened at my house.
Sam looked troubled. “I don’t ever interfere in vamp business,” he said. “The two-natured and vamps don’t mix well. I’m really sorry you got pulled into that, Sookie. That asshole Eric.” He looked like there was more he wanted to say, but he pressed his lips together.
“Do you know anything about the King of Nevada?” I asked.
“I know he has a publishing empire,” Sam said promptly. “And he has at least one casino and some restaurants. He’s also the ultimate owner of a management company that handles vampire entertainers. You know, the Elvis Undead Revue with all-vamp Elvis tribute artists, which is pretty funny when you think about it, and some great dance groups.” We both knew that the real Elvis was still around but rarely in any shape to perform. “If there had to be a takeover of a tourist state, Felipe de Castro is the right vampire for the job. He’ll make sure New Orleans gets rebuilt like it ought to be, because he’ll want the revenue.”
“Felipe de Castro . . . That sounds exotic,” I said.
“I haven’t met him, but I understand he’s very, ah, charismatic,” Sam said. “I wonder if he’ll be coming to Louisiana to live or if this Victor Madden will be his agent here. Either way, it won’t affect the bar. But there’s no doubt it’ll affect you, Sookie.” Sam uncrossed his legs and sat up straight in his chair, which shrieked in protest. “I wish there was some way to get you out of the vampire loop.”
“The night I met Bill, if I’d known what I know now, I wonder if I’d have done anything different,” I said. “Maybe I would’ve let the Rattrays have him.” I’d rescued Bill from a sleazy couple who turned out to be not only sleazy, but murderers. They were vampire drainers, people who lured vampires to spots where the vamps could be subdued with silver chains and drained of blood, which sold for big bucks on the black market. Drainers lived hazardous lives. The Rattrays had paid the full price.
“You don’t mean that,” Sam said. He rocked in the chair again (
squeak! squeak!
) and rose to his feet. “You would never do that.”
It felt really pleasant to hear something nice about myself, especially after the morning’s conversation with Quinn. I was tempted to talk to Sam about that, too, but he was edging toward the door. Time to go to work, for both of us. I got up, too. We went out and began the usual motions. My mind was hardly on it, though.
To revive my flagging spirits, I tried to think of some bright point in the future, something to look forward to. I couldn’t come up with anything. For a long, bleak moment I stood by the bar, my hand on my order pad, trying not to step over the edge into the chasm of depression. Then I slapped myself on the cheek.
Idiot! I have a house, and friends, and a job. I’m luckier than millions of people on the planet. Things will look up.
For a while, that worked. I smiled at everyone, and if that smile was brittle, by God, it was still a smile.
After an hour or two, Jason came into the bar with his wife, Crystal. Crystal was looking sullen and slightly pregnant, and Jason was looking . . . Well, he had that hard look about him, the mean look he got sometimes when he’d been disappointed.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Oh, not much,” Jason said expansively. “You bring us a couple beers?”
“Sure,” I said, thinking he’d never ordered for Crystal before. Crystal was a pretty woman several years younger than Jason. She was a werepanther, but she wasn’t a very good one, mostly because of all the inbreeding in the Hotshot community. Crystal had a hard time changing if it wasn’t the full moon, and she had miscarried at least twice that I knew of. I pitied her losses, the more so because I knew the panther community considered her weak. Now Crystal was pregnant a third time. That pregnancy had maybe been the only reason Calvin had let her marry Jason, who was bitten, not born. That is, he’d become a panther by being repeatedly bitten—by a jealous male who wanted Crystal for himself. Jason couldn’t change into a real panther but into a sort of half-beast, half-man version. He enjoyed it.
I brought them their beers along with two frosted mugs and waited to see if they were going to place a food order. I wondered about Crystal drinking, but decided it wasn’t my business.
“I’d like me a cheeseburger with fries,” Jason said. No surprise there.
“What about you, Crystal?” I asked, trying to sound friendly. After all, this was my sister-in-law.
“Oh,
I
don’t have enough money to eat,” she said.
I had no idea what to say. I looked at Jason inquiringly, and he gave me a shrug. This shrug said (to his sister), “I’ve done something stupid and wrong but I’m not going to back down, because I’m a stubborn shit.”
“Crystal, I’ll be glad to stand you lunch,” I said very quietly. “What would you like?”
She glared at her husband. “I’d like the same, Sookie.”
I wrote her order down on a separate slip and strode to the hatch to turn them in. I had been ready to get angry, and Jason had lit a match and thrown it on my temper. The whole story was clear in their heads, and as I came to understand what was going on, I was sick of both of them.
Crystal and Jason had settled into Jason’s house, but almost every day Crystal rode out to Hotshot, her comfort zone, where she didn’t have to pretend anything. She was used to being surrounded by her kin, and she especially missed her sister and her sister’s babies. Tanya Grissom was renting a room from Crystal’s sister, the room Crystal had lived in until she married Jason. Crystal and Tanya had become instant buddies. Since Tanya’s favorite occupation was shopping, Crystal had gone along for the ride several times. In fact, she’d spent all the money Jason had given her for household expenses. She’d done this two pay-checks in a row, despite multiple scenes and promises.
Now Jason refused to give her any more money. He was doing all the grocery shopping and picking up any dry cleaning, paying every bill himself. He’d told Crystal if she wanted any money of her own, she had to get a job. The unskilled and pregnant Crystal had not succeeded in finding one, so she didn’t have a dime.
Jason was trying to make a point, but by humiliating his wife in public he was making the wrong point entirely. What an idiot my brother could be.
What I could do about this situation? Well . . . nothing. They had to work it out themselves. I was looking at two stunted people who’d never grown up, and I wasn’t optimistic about their chances.
With a deep twinge of unease, I remembered their unusual wedding vows; at least, they’d seemed odd to me, though I supposed they were the Hotshot norm. As Jason’s closest living relative, I’d had to promise to take the punishment if Jason misbehaved, just as her uncle Calvin had promised the same on Crystal’s behalf. I’d been pretty damn rash to make that promise.
When I carried their plates to their table, I saw that the two were in the jaw-clenching, looking-anywhere-but-at-each-other stage of quarreling. I put the plates down carefully, got them a bottle of Heinz ketchup, and skedaddled. I’d interfered enough by buying Crystal lunch.
There was a person involved in this I
could
approach, and I promised myself then and there that I would. All my anger and unhappiness focused on Tanya Grissom. I really wanted to do something awful to that woman. What the hell was she hanging around for, sniffing around Sam? What was her goal in drawing Crystal into this spending spiral? (And I didn’t think for a second it was by chance that Tanya’s newest big buddy was my sister-in-law.) Was Tanya trying to irritate me to death? It was like having a horsefly buzzing around and lighting occasionally . . . but never quite close enough to swat. While I went about my job on autopilot, I pondered what I could do to get her out of my orbit. For the first time in my life, I wondered if I could forcibly pin another person down to read her mind. It wouldn’t be so easy, since Tanya was a wereanimal, but I would find out what was driving her. And I had the conviction that information would save me a lot of heartache . . . a lot.
While I plotted and schemed and fumed, Crystal and Jason silently ate their food, and Jason pointedly paid his own bill, while I took care of Crystal’s. They left, and I wondered what their evening would be like. I was glad I wasn’t going to be a party to it.
From behind the bar Sam had observed all this, and he asked me in a low voice, “What’s up with those two?”
“They’re having the newlywed blues,” I said. “Severe adjustment problems.”
He looked troubled. “Don’t let them drag you into it,” he said, and then looked like he regretted opening his mouth. “Sorry, don’t mean to give you unwanted advice,” he said.
Something prickled at the corners of my eyes. Sam was giving me advice because he cared about me. In my overwrought state, that was cause for sentimental tears. “That’s okay, boss,” I said, trying to sound perky and carefree. I spun on my heel and went to patrol my tables. Sheriff Bud Dearborn was sitting in my section, which was unusual. Normally he’d pick a seat somewhere else if he knew I was working. Bud had a basket of onion rings in front of him, liberally doused with ketchup, and he was reading a Shreveport paper. The lead story was POLICE SEARCH FOR SIX, and I stopped to ask Bud if I could have his paper when he was through with it.