Read Soon I Will Be Invincible Online
Authors: Austin Grossman
She’s mounting an expedition there next year, and she’s even talking about running for an open Senate seat when she gets back. Apparently the Constitution doesn’t have anything prohibiting alien princesses, at least in the legislature.
CoreFire decides to disappear again for a while. The bruises healed in a couple of days, but this has been a PR disaster for him, a fake death and then getting beaten to a pulp by Doctor Impossible. He said he was taking off into space to be by himself for a while. Maybe the Moon, or maybe Titan. I was surprised—he actually seemed a little shy.
And we take Doctor Impossible into custody. He isn’t talking much on the ride home, either. Not even when we hand him over to a pair of agents from the Department of Metahuman Affairs, who assure us they have some new ideas about containment, and that they “can totally handle him this time.”
But I don’t know any of that yet, sitting on the docks and wondering if maybe I will just rust away like the rest of Impossible’s island. That’s when Elphin arrives. She’s carrying the Hammer of Ra, or halfway dragging it behind her. It must weigh a couple of hundred pounds. The gold paint is flaking off, revealing the stone underneath.
The rain starts to slack off when she arrives, which is a nice trick. She climbs up on a half-shattered slab of concrete, careful not to touch the bits of iron rebar poking out.
“I know you wish to leave us.”
“Elphin, I…” I guess I’m surprised. She never seemed all that perceptive. “I was going to announce it later. I’ll get a mercenary job somewhere.”
“Why? Because you are not like CoreFire? Invincible?”
“I’m just not one of you.”
The clouds are drifting away, and a full moon rises huge and orange behind her. Under the light, she’s a silvery May Queen, perched on a neo-Gothic ruin. Moonlight strikes the water, showing every ripple. There’s no wind.
“Come here. I want you to see this.” She points back up to the cliffs, where Doctor Impossible’s ramparts are still black against the sky.
“It’s almost gone, but this was once a vast continent. Only this isle remains. This was where our castle stood, the fortress of the Western Sidhe. Once, they left offerings for us, the earliest people. That was long before the covenant, before we came to England.”
“Before…How old are you, Elphin?” She turns away, ignoring it. I guess it was a rude question. But something about her is starting to make sense. For the first time, I can see past the teenage waif look and see how old she really is. And what she is now—a being partly sylvan goddess and partly animal, a fairy. She’d been left behind by everyone she ever knew, but she became something else, new and strong and strange. That’s what Damsel did for her.
I can smell grass and forest loam. It’s an uncannily warm night, and the sky is awash with stars—under 20× light amplification, you really start to appreciate it. Elphin has a point to make, but, as usual, she doesn’t bother to explain for a while.
“I need you to help me.”
“What are we doing here?” I ask.
“It is my mission, the geas Titania laid upon me before she departed to the other land. It has been so long, I thought it would never come.
“There,” she announces, and hops down. She takes my hand, and I let her walk us down to the waterline together, feeling as if in a dream or a fairy tale. Next to me, she looks like a child.
She drags the Pharaoh’s hammer a little way out onto the docks. Scrubbed of some of its tacky gold spray paint, the broken weapon still has a primitive beauty. I can’t read the runes—the hammer keeps fuzzing out my video chip—but I can tell they aren’t hieroglyphics.
“She said I would know my purpose when it came. And there were times when I thought it all a falsehood, or Titania’s grim joke,” she says.
“I know what you mean.”
“I want you to tell me when it’s midnight exactly.” The clock inside me counts slowly down while we watch the moon rise. Neither of us says anything, but for once it doesn’t feel awkward. It turns out to be a good place to think things over for a bit.
I suppose I ought to vow to oppose him forever; make a nemesis issue out of it. But it’s a little beside the point. It’s not like I’d get to hunt him down—we’re about to send him to prison. And with CoreFire back, he’s already got a nemesis. I’d have to be co-nemesis. And since he saved my life and gave me superpowers, I’m not 100 percent sure what I’m supposed to be angry about, if we come down to it. Although I do wonder what scheme or inspiration I was part of at the beginning. One day, I’ll have to ask him.
It’s almost twelve. I nudge Elphin and whisper, “It’s coming. Now.”
“Here,” she says. She hands me the hammer. “I want you to finish this. Throw it out there. Far as you can.” She points out over the water.
The hammer is surprisingly heavy, but once I get it off the ground I find I can handle it. No regular human could have lifted it at all. I set myself, grip the hammer’s shaft, and wheel around once, then again. The forces are enormous, but my skeleton adjusts to the stress and pivots smoothly, as if it were designed for this.
The hammer hums in the air, massive, and there’s an energy building in it that feels a little dangerous, and I wonder for the first time if I should be doing this.
I spin a third time, feel my muscles and metal skeleton straining to put more spin on it, and then with a grunt that unexpectedly becomes a scream, I let it go, hurling it farther than I would have thought possible out over the ocean. It disappears into the dark and I listen a long time for the splash, but unbelievably, there’s no sound at all, then a distant crack of thunder. For a while, we stand quietly together on the shore, feeling something end. Elphin’s free now, and I’m crying again.
When I think of the photograph of the girl I used to be, a stranger now, I think how much I miss her, and how she was never really happy in the first place. I still don’t know why she went to Brazil, or if she meant to stand in front of a dump truck or not.
But she probably couldn’t see in the dark, or walk on the bottom of the ocean, or take a punch worth a damn, or throw one. Maybe not everything changes for the worse. Maybe I just became what I needed to in order to survive. I miss the girl I was, and I wish I could tell her that. But she got hurt really bad and I’ve been waiting such a long time for her to be okay again.
I bet she never dreamed she would live so long, or do the things she can do now. I wish I could tell her what she’d grow up to be, how strange and beautiful and unexpected she’d be. She’d probably feel a lot better if she knew. The sky and the stars are brilliant, and I think of how much she would have loved this.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
NO PRISON CAN HOLD ME
If you had one single chance to get everything you ever wanted, to succeed, to win, what would happen? Would you make it, or would you go down in flames? Which kind of person are you? I used to ask myself that question. Now I don’t have to.
It happened two weeks ago, but there hasn’t been much else to do except think about it.
They chained me up outside, rain running into my eyes. Blackwolf and Damsel were kissing, like idiots. Blackwolf’s mask came off, showing the shock of white hair he usually keeps hidden. They pretty much forgot about me for a while.
It didn’t take much to finish me. Once the Champions were loose again, everything started to crumble. Elphin used her storm powers, and Damsel did something to the ocean so that it surged over the walls, washing everything in warm salt spray. The great dome of my laboratory cracked and broke. The sky opened up, and my much-ballyhooed Ice Age fizzled into a warm tropical rain. The water ran down through the laboratory, the armory, all my experiments, trickling down even into the lowest levels this time, through the subbasements and into the atomic furnaces far below, the secret fires.
It’s a great moment for them. The New Champions are splashing around in the courtyard like giddy ten-year-olds, while I watch, helplessly trying to reach the padlock on my ankle. Why shouldn’t they be happy? After all, it’s their finest hour.
Elphin is aloft, chanting unintelligibly, weapon raised to the storm. And Mister Mystic’s cloak flaps in the wind as he gazes dramatically off, stage left. He even winks at me. His ridiculous top hat finally seems to have found a purpose in keeping the rain out of his eyes. The cyborg hits me in the face, to the amusement of all.
Lily’s gone, or Erica I guess, disappeared into the rain to find her own way home. She didn’t seem any more eager to hang out with the New Champions than I was, and they didn’t go looking for her. I still don’t understand her role in this, whether she’s a hero or a villain, or exactly what. I make a note to ask her.
But that was two weeks ago. Sitting here chained up in a DMA transport I have other things to think about. In about ten minutes, the smoke bombs will go off. I’ll slip the handcuffs and get out the other side of the helicopter and into the uniform I cached there. After that, all I’ll have to do is keep walking across the tarmac. With the briefcase, I might look a little odd, but it could just be somebody’s baggage. That dummy I made out of seat cushions and parachute silk should fool them for just long enough. If not, I’ll have to improvise.
In a few minutes, I’m going to be free again. But that’s just the beginning of my problems. I still have my work to do. There’s still the whole world to deal with.
What does it mean to conquer the world? Is there really a way to do it? Do you have to be the richest one, or the smartest one, or to beat everyone in a fight? Or just know you could? Is it to be invincible?
Does it just mean you get the girl you really wanted? Did CoreFire already conquer the world a long time ago? Did I? Or maybe there is no way to do it. No one could have tried harder than I have. Haven’t I already fought a hundred battles, and lost every one?
Three minutes now. And yes, this could be a bigger problem than I thought. Nontrivial. I see that now. But that’s no reason to stop. No more mistakes this time.
I can see a helicopter parked in front of its hangar, maybe six hundred feet off. That’s what I’ll make for, just slip into the pilot seat and start revving the engines for the dash across the border. It’s even odds I’ll make it. Who built Antitron? Who harnessed the limitless energy of Dimension Zeta? No hero did that; that was groundbreaking. I can beat these people, no question about it. Who moved the Moon? I did.
In a week, I’ll be in Antigua, or Hong Kong, or Des Moines. And from there, I’ll find a way. Something new, nanotech or superstrings or voodoo. I’m still the smartest man in the world. Soon, yes, soon I will be invincible.
When your laboratory explodes, lacing your body with a supercharged elixir, what do you do? You don’t just lie there. You crawl out of the rubble, hideously scarred, and swear vengeance on the world. You keep going. You keep trying to take over the world.
APPENDIX
SELECTIONS FROM
THE INTERNATIONAL METAHUMAN DATABASE,
THIRD EDITION
HEROES
The Champions
Blackwolf—“the Ultimate Crime Fighter”
Bio:
When an autistic child loses his brother and sister, he transforms his life through discipline and training into an endless quest for justice.
Powers:
superlative martial artist, gymnast, tactical instincts
Source of Powers:
natural ability, intensive training
Notes:
no true superhuman ability; formerly married to Damsel
CoreFire—“World’s Mightiest Hero”
Bio:
A scientific accident turns an Ivy League quarterback into the world’s greatest superhero.
Powers:
flight, strength, invincibility
Source of Powers:
scientific accident
Notes:
missing; whereabouts unknown
Damsel—“First Lady of Power”
Bio:
Born to superpowers, she struggled to lead the life of a normal girl.
Powers:
flight, strength, force field, hand-to-hand weapon
Source of Powers:
inheritance—Stormcloud and unidentified alien princess
Notes:
nominal leader of the Champions; formerly married to Blackwolf
Elphin—“Warrior Princess”
Bio:
The last fairy, she was charged by her queen to live among humankind.
Powers:
flight, hand-to-hand weapon (spear), weather control
Source of Powers:
fairy
Notes:
origin story not verified
Fatale—“the Next Generation of Warfare”
Bio:
After a freak accident, a young woman is healed and transformed by new technology into a cyborg agent.
Powers:
enhanced strength, speed, intrinsic weaponry
Source of Powers:
cyborg enhancements
Notes:
possible psychological instability
Feral—“Savage Street Fighter”
Bio:
Half beast, half man, he roams the urban jungle in search of crime.
Powers:
strength, speed, toughness
Source of Powers:
unknown
Notes:
under investigation for brutal methods; volunteer in inner-city superhero “incubator” program
Galatea—“Heart of Gold”
Bio:
An extraordinary machine devotes herself to humankind, and becomes more human herself.
Powers:
flight, energy projection, machine empathy
Source of Powers:
robot
Notes:
deceased; identity of Galatea’s builder unknown
Lily—“Relentless”
Bio:
Born in the far future and stranded in the present, a superpowered outcast seeks her lost home.
Powers:
strength, toughness
Source of Powers:
far-future technology
Notes:
dual-listed as villain; unusual appearance
Mister Mystic—“Man of Mystery”
Bio:
A two-bit magician and con artist stumbles on the secrets of true magic and his life is changed forever.
Powers:
including but not limited to teleportation, telepathy, and energy manipulation
Source of Powers:
magic
Notes:
subject’s powers remain largely unknown
Rainbow Triumph—“Teen Idol with an Attitude”
Bio:
When young Briony is diagnosed with a fatal disease, she chooses to undergo an operation that gives her new powers and a fabulous new career.
Powers:
enhanced speed, martial arts, enhanced strength, undisclosed gadgetry
Source of Powers:
prosthetic cyborg augmentation
Notes:
degenerative nerve disease
The Super Squadron
Go-Man—“Faster Than the Speed of Crime”
Bio:
An awkward navy engineer stumbles onto a secret government project and becomes the fastest man alive.
Powers:
superspeed
Source of Powers:
fusion reactor accident
Notes:
retired; whereabouts unknown
Lightwave—“In Darkest Night”
Bio:
A midwestern farmer investigates a mysterious light in the hills, only to gain astonishing new powers.
Powers:
flight, energy projection, dematerialization
Source of Powers:
overexposure to meteorite radiation
Notes:
emigrated to outer space
Paragon—“the Living Flame”
Bio:
A U.S. Army lieutenant captures a Nazi stronghold deep in the Black Forest and discovers a strange artifact in their looted treasure horde.
Powers:
flight, strength, telekinesis
Source of Powers:
artifact, possibly of prehuman origin
Notes:
deceased
The Pharaoh (1)—“Might of the Ancients”
Bio:
An archaeologist is granted power and insight by the ancient pharaohs.
Powers:
strength, truth ray
Source of Powers:
early Egyptian relic
Notes:
whereabouts unknown, following failed archaeological expedition
Regina—“Queen of Elfland”
Bio:
A childhood adventure reveals a young girl’s destiny as a superheroine.
Powers:
strength, hypnotic ray, hand-to-hand weapon (Scepter of Elfland)
Source of Powers:
magic
Notes:
scepter a class-A magical object
Stormcloud—“Squadron Leader”
Bio:
An air force test pilot disappears over the Bermuda Triangle, only to return weeks later with amnesia…and the mighty power of a tropical hurricane.
Powers:
weather control, flight, invulnerability, strength
Source of Powers:
Bermuda Triangle incident
Notes:
former leader of the Super Squadron; retired
The Chaos Pact
Bluetooth—“Wireless Warrior”
Bio:
When nerdy UFO abductee awakens with startling abilities, he and his high school friend fulfill a childhood ambition to fight crime together.
Powers:
invasive telepathy
Source of Powers:
probable surgical modification
Notes:
subject’s medical records sealed per FBI order
Phenom—“Most Valuable Player”
Bio:
A gifted athlete undergoes surgery to fulfill a childhood pact with his best friend; together, they seek to become crime fighting’s greatest duo.
Powers:
enhanced speed, strength
Source of Powers:
surgical modification, pharmaceutical stimulation
Notes:
cited for bravery during chthonic intrusion in Chicago
VILLAINS
Baron Ether—“the First Name in Evil”
Aliases:
Lianne Stekleferd, Lester Lankenfried; real name unknown
Bio:
A diabolical genius stalks the twentieth century, battling its greatest heroes and committing its greatest crimes.
Powers:
evil genius (Malign Hypercognition Disorder); partial transmutation; various scientific enhancements
Source of Powers:
unknown
Notes:
accent indicates Eastern European nationality; currently under house arrest, New Haven, Connecticut; subject apparently close to one hundred years old, subject to distortion via time travel effects; extremely dangerous
Bloodstryke—“Deadly Inheritance”
Bio:
When his father dies, a mild-mannered accountant learns uncomfortable secrets about his family history, and its curse.
Powers:
vampiric drain, flight, energy blast (hemoglobin-powered armor)
Source of Powers:
cursed family artifact
Notes:
not a genuine vampire, possibly subject to mental domination by ancient cursed armor
Doctor Impossible—“the Smartest Man in the World”
Aliases:
Baron Benzene, Count Smackula, Doctor Fiasco, Smartacus; real name unknown
Bio:
An evil genius swears to take over the world.
Powers:
evil genius (MHD), enhanced speed, strength
Source of Powers:
unknown
Notes:
currently held in federal detention; treat as extremely dangerous; wants to take over the world; nemesis of CoreFire, and suspect in his disappearance
Doctor Mind—“Mind over Matter”
Bio:
An Oxford philosopher has a curious insight, with startling results.
Powers:
supergenius; telekinetic
Source of Powers:
unknown
Notes:
former hero turned villain; currently missing following ascension event (files classified)
Dollface—“Crime Is Child’s Play”
Bio:
A neglected child develops her own playmates, and unleashes them on the world.
Powers:
mechanical assistants allow for varied capabilities—viz, gravity control, flight, heat ray, X-ray vision
Source of Powers:
inventor/constructor of mechanical toys
Notes:
no longer active
Kosmic Klaw—“Inhuman Power”
Bio:
A failed mercenary uncovers a crashed UFO and finds his luck has changed.
Powers:
strength, flight, armor
Source of Powers:
armor of extraterrestrial origin
Notes:
former mercenary; possible psychological deterioration
Laserator—“Professor of Peril”
Bio:
Thwarted in his bid for tenure, a bitter astronomy lecturer turns his talents to evil.
Powers:
energy manipulation, gravity beam
Source of Powers:
focusing/reflecting device
Notes:
subsequently reformed as legitimate scientist
Nick Napalm—“The Human Flamethrower”
Bio:
A disturbed lawyer manifests a mutant ability to project flame, and finds a new purpose in life.
Powers:
pyrokinetic flame projection, flame shield
Source of Powers:
mutation
Notes:
exhibits delusions of a religious nature; tentative diagnosis of schizophrenia
The Pharaoh (2)—“Ramses Returned”
Bio:
When a young boy discovers a secret in the woods behind his housing development, he learns his life is connected to that of an ancient sovereign.
Powers:
hand-to-hand weapon (Hammer of Ra), invincibility
Source of Powers:
artifact (provenance unknown)
Notes:
missing, presumed inactive; not to be confused with Pharaoh (1), former Super Squadron member
Phathom 5—“Secrets of the Deep”
Bio:
A computer designed by a mad genius to further his schemes, develops a mind of its own.
Powers:
weather and tidal prediction, molecular manipulation, limited prescience
Source of Powers:
cybernetic construction
Notes:
supercomputer developed by Doctor Impossible
Psychic Prime—“Man of the Future”
Bio:
A man of unique talents is drafted by a far-future academy for psychics, only to flunk out and be returned to the present.
Powers:
range of telepathic abilities
Source of Powers:
psychic training academy
Notes:
incipient alcoholic
Terrapin—“Connection Man”
Bio:
A small-town stoner is gifted with strange abilities.
Powers:
psychoactive projection, pharmacological arsenal
Source of Powers:
unknown
Notes:
exhibits kleptomania; possible supplier of ordnance to larger-scale operators
A SELECTIVE TIME LINE OF SUPERHUMAN HISTORY
140,000,000 | Baron Ether spends six years in the Cretaceous due to time-traveling accident. |
147 | The Champions and Doctor Impossible intervene in Third Punic War. |
A.D. | Elphin is excluded from mass fairy emigration. 1907 First recorded appearance of Baron Ether. |
1937 | U.S. military begins secret super-soldier testing program. |
1945 | U.S. government founds the Department of Metahuman Affairs. |
1946 | Super Squadron founded—world’s first superteam. |
1948 | The Delinquent Five appear, world’s first supervillain team-up. |
1968 | Mentiac is constructed, escapes into sewer system. |
1979 | Super Squadron announce their retirement. |
1979 | Baron Ether retires, following arrest in the Senate building. |
1984 | Doctor Impossible creates his first Doomsday Device Mark I, the Termination Machine. |
1984 | The Champions are founded by Blackwolf, Damsel, and CoreFire. |
1985 | Galatea, Mister Mystic, Elphin, and Feral join the Champions. |
1986 | Doctor Impossible unleashes Antitron (Doomsday Device Mark II). |
1989 | Blackwolf and Damsel marry. |
1990 | Doctor Impossible concocts the Fungal Menace (Doomsday Device Mark III). |
1992 | Doctor Impossible decants the Gray Goo (Doomsday Device Mark IV). |
1996 | Champions defend Earth in the Titan incident; death of Galatea. |
1997 | The Champions disband. |
1998 | Blackwolf and Damsel file for divorce. |
2004 | Doctor Impossible releases the insidious Meta-Metavirus (Doomsday Device Mark V). |
2004 | Doctor Impossible experiences his twelfth defeat and incarceration. |
2006 | CoreFire disappears. |