Sophie's Playboy (29 page)

272

Sophie's Playboy

by Natalie Damschroder

"Good," Shirley said. "He's really a wonderful child. We just have a bigger challenge than many other people do." She smiled serenely, and Sophie knew they would be okay.

Dave seemed bent on raising as much money as possible and thanked Parker for attending. When Sophie realized why, she faded out of Parker's line of vision. It didn't do any good.

"I understand you did a study on me," he murmured in her ear.

Sophie nodded to a passing acquaintance to avoid looking at him. "Mmm. Not a study, really. It wasn't at all scientific."

She looked around the room and spotted a bar. "Excuse me, I'm thirsty. I'm going to get some water."

"Not a study, hmm?" He followed her, and Sophie realized he sounded amused. She stopped, aware this was the most attention he'd paid to her in days.

"Okay, I did some research. At all events you attended, more money was raised per attendee than the ones you didn't. Which is why you are always invited and sometimes actively courted to go to these things."

"I didn't realize I had so much influence."

Sophie whirled and returned to her path to the bar. "Well, you weren't the only one. There were three other patrons who had nearly the same attendance patterns." She reached the bar and smiled at the bartender. "Hi, Tony. Ice water with lemon, please." She set her elbow on the bar. "You aren't the only one who inspires people to give more, but you are an important part of this small circle."

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"Interesting. I'll have a Scotch and water," he told Tony once Sophie had her drink. "Oh, look. There's Chuck. He's the one who told me about the study."

Sophie looked up to see her old employer bearing down on them with an over-wide grin. "Sophie, so good to see you."

He hugged her more exuberantly than he ever had. "I've missed you, friend," he murmured in her ear.

"I'm sorry I never called you back," she told him. "I don't want to come back to MMT, so don't even ask."

He laughed. "I won't. I learned my lesson." He nodded when Parker motioned to a table, and the three sat. "I did want to ask your opinion on something, though." He launched into a description of their latest promotional campaign and the attendant customer service issues. Sophie became so intent with her advice she didn't even realize Parker was gone. She looked at her pearl-banded watch and realized she'd been chatting with Chuck for half an hour.

"I think that covers it," she said, and stood. "I'd like to make my donation and find Parker." The band started just then, an old waltz played at every function she'd ever been to for MMT. She and Chuck jokingly called it "their song"

because they always ended up dancing to it.

Chuck held out his arms. "For old times' sake?"

Sophie couldn't spot Parker in the crowd and felt one dance was the least she could do for her old friend, so she agreed.

Dancing with Chuck was familiar. They'd done this so often it was second nature, but Sophie was distracted. Where had 274

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Parker gone? She found herself continually scanning the crowd.

Finally she spotted him, sipping his drink on the edge of the dance floor. He looked sad, wounded. Had she hurt his feelings by dancing with Chuck first?

She thanked Chuck when the song was over and took off a little faster than was polite. Her heart was tripping along as she moved through the crowd, trying not to step on any skirts or polished shoes. Could Parker be jealous? If so, it wouldn't hurt to fan that flame. Sometimes making someone jealous backfired, but sometimes it made them aware of their feelings. Sophie was willing to take a chance on the latter.

She found Parker near the band and tugged him toward the dance floor. "It's your turn."

He smiled at her, but it still held a tinge of melancholy.

"You looked like you were having fun with Chuck."

"Reminiscing," she said airily, reveling in the feel of him against her again. She was aware of the strength in his fingers around hers. Liked the solid chest in front of her. Felt awash in his scent, so much more than after shave, even if it was her favorite kind of after shave. "We always dance that waltz."

Parker didn't seem to notice what she'd said. He maneuvered them across the floor and Sophie saw Chuck to the side, gazing wistfully at her. When he saw her looking, he turned quickly and engaged the elderly woman next to him in conversation.

"Sophie?" Parker squeezed her hand. "You here?"

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"Of course." She smiled at him, then frowned when his phone buzzed between them.

"Shoot." He stopped dancing, right in front of Chuck, and pulled the phone from his pocket. "Hello?" Then the standard,

"I'm sorry, I've got to take this. Can you dance with her?" He looked at Chuck and tilted his head at Sophie. As he walked away, she heard him say, "Thanks, Mare."

Sophie stared at Parker's retreating back, then at Chuck's eager face. "Wait a minute!" she yelled. Parker turned. She braced her hands on her hips. "I know what you're doing, Parker Cornwall." She whirled on Chuck. "Are you involved in this? Did you arrange this with him?" Back to Parker.

"Outside. Now." She slapped a hand on Parker's chest and pushed him toward the main door. When they were in the deserted lobby she stopped and pressed her finger to his chest.

"I can't believe you'd try to do this to me.
Me!
I'm not stupid, Parker. I've noticed your habits. And I'm not one of your bimbos to pass off when you get bored with me."

"I'm not passing you off, Sophie."

"The hell you're not." She was so furious she could hardly see him. "You think Chuck has a thing for me, and that I'm susceptible to it. Well, he doesn't, and I'm not. I'm head over heels in love with you, you fool."

Parker closed his eyes. "That's what I was afraid of."

Sophie's anger burned off, leaving her feeling empty and alone. "And you don't want it."

"Remember at the picnic, you told me not to let a let a hole burn in me so big no one can ever fill it back up?"

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Sophie blinked back tears and nodded.

"It's too late."

"You're throwing me away to avoid being hurt."

He shook his head and put his hands on her shoulders as if he couldn't avoid touching her. "I'm letting you go so
you
don't get hurt. I can't give you what you need. I'm damaged goods, Sophie." He rested his forehead on hers. "You saw what I come from. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction. I know I have issues that I may never resolve. I can't inflict them on you or your family." His voice grew softer. "Or our children."

He swallowed. Sophie could see his Adam's apple bob. Then he whispered, "I love you" in so low a voice she sensed it rather than heard it.

"Then stay with me." She was crying so hard she could barely speak. "Don't pretend to be noble. Don't you know it will hurt more to be without me now than to risk losing me later?"

He shook his head. "It couldn't." That was when she realized he was crying, too. Slow, masculine tears of a pain much more complex than she could understand.

Sophie pulled herself together. Sniffed. Moved away and wiped her cheeks. Then she put her hands on his face and wiped away his tears.

"You're more like your father than you think," she told him.

"I know." He gripped her wrists and kissed her palm, then stepped back. "I'm just like him. I can't do that to you."

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CHAPTER 18

Parker resigned from Rant and Rave the next day. When Stevie and George threatened legal action for breach of contract, he gave them his lawyer's card and said it didn't matter.

He listened to the show for the rest of the week. Sophie was a trooper, giving the listeners no indication that anything was wrong between them. He couldn't tell if the ratings were suffering, but he was sure some advertising had been lost because he wasn't there to fulfill commitments. He let his lawyer handle the loss of revenue lawsuit threats, too.

Melina's brother had turned out to be a good match.

Parker made arrangements to bring him over from Greece, then went with Melina to the airport. He was gratified by their emotional reunion.

"He was very resentful that I came to America," she'd told Parker one afternoon while they discussed logistics. "He refused to speak with me or answer my letters. When my parents told him I was sick, though, he came through." She'd kissed his cheek. "Thank you not only for saving my life, but for renewing my relationship with my brother."

"Just get healthy," he told her. The surgery was scheduled for next month, and everyone had high hopes for a positive recovery.

Rant and Rave was suffering without her, however. She complained to Parker that her replacement was killing the show, but he knew better. Parker had listened to the show as 278

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a form of torture. The guy had shortcomings, sure, but he wasn't responsible for the flatness Rant and Rave had developed. The callers were bitchy, Sophie seemed to have no excitement, and advertising was clearly off. The show was floundering, and it was his fault.

One more reason Sophie was better off without him, he thought, and told Mare so.

"How the hell do you figure that?" She motored around him preparing dinner in the kitchen of her apartment. The boys were playing video games in the living room. Parker had barely survived their whining over Sophie's absence.

"I should never have pursued her," he said. "Her original show was fine without me. If I hadn't kept calling, they wouldn't have hired me. And I shouldn't have accepted. I knew if we broke up it would ruin the show."

"She can get another show somewhere else." She shoved a stack of plates and flatware at him. "Set the table."

"But she loved
this
show. Why didn't I stay away?"

"Will you please shut up?"

He looked up and Mare was glaring at him. Her arms were folded across her chest. "Between you and Dad I've never had more self-pity floating around my kitchen. And with two elementary school boys, that's saying something." She pulled the chicken casserole from the oven and plopped it on a hot mat on the table.

"Dad was here?"

"Three times this week. He's moaning and groaning about how Fawn won't give him the divorce. About how he wants to 279

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be free, that he can't stand to look at her and know how she lost their baby, to know how much he hurt her."

"So maybe he's finally understanding."

"Ha! He was trying to get me to tell him it's okay to go back to her."

"What did you tell him?"

"To quit his whining and get on with his life." She added salt and pepper and called to the boys to wash their hands.

"And I'm telling you the same thing."

"And how do I do that?"

"You're a smart guy, Parker. Figure it out."

Yeah, figure it out. He'd deliberately hurt the woman he loved and now he didn't even know why. He listened to the boys chatter during dinner and ignored Mare's significant looks. The next day he went to his father's office to try to figure out where his perceptions had gotten all screwed up.

"Biff." Parker's father didn't rise from his chair when the secretary announced him. Parker had never seen him so haggard. He sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

"Dad, I'd really like you to call me Parker."

Biff looked up. "Why?"

Parker suppressed his annoyance. He didn't want to start this meeting badly, but he wasn't going to play passive-aggressive anymore either.

"My name is Parker. I don't like Biff. I'm finally getting people to call me Parker, and I'd prefer it if you would call me Parker, as well."

Biff studied him as if he couldn't understand why he'd request something like that. Then he shrugged. "Why not."

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Parker studied the old man. The term was apt today. The lines that usually made him look distinguished now drew his face down. His normally ruddy complexion was ashen, and he had bags under his eyes. For once, his actions were taking their toll.

"What's happening with you and Fawn?" he asked.

Biff shrugged but seemed to sink into himself even further.

"I'm losing her."

Parker barked a laugh. "You threw her away."

"I tried to." Biff picked up the pen Fawn had given him for their anniversary two months ago. "She won't let me."

"So what's the problem? You want her, she wants you.

Quit the game-playing and you'll be fine. It seems quite clear to me."

"Easy to say from your perspective."

Yeah. Easy for him to say about
Biff
. It wasn't so easy to see about him and Sophie.

"I never wanted Fawn to love me. I knew what would happen to her, and she was—is—too good for me. But I couldn't be unselfish for once. I married her. I hurt her. It's inevitable."

"It's only inevitable if you think it is. Haven't you heard of self-fulfilling prophecy?"

Biff sighed. "What's your point?"

"You expect to get hurt. So you do. And in trying to avoid it, you hurt others. Like, everyone you touch." He couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and Biff heard it.

"You have a problem with me, B—Parker?"

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Might as well have it all out now. "Yeah, Dad, I do." He hadn't called him Dad in twenty years, and Biff raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You spent most of my life ignoring me, ignoring Mare. You kept us from our mother when we needed her. You subjected us to stepmother after girlfriend after one-night-stand, and never cared how we felt about it. Never cared how we felt when you hurt
them
because you were too absorbed in your own avoidance of emotion."