Sorrow's Peak (Serpent of Time Book 2) (47 page)

No.

She didn’t like that at all.

Why couldn’t she just be…? Lorelei?

Shaking her head, she took a step forward and felt the nudging wetness of the sea roll in to touch the tips of her boots. Every time she took a step, the sand was so unstable beneath her feet, heels sliding, boots sinking just a little deeper, but she loved it. It was so new and intriguing. Unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

“I’ve felt so…” she paused, trying to find the right words to express the sense of awakening she’d been experiencing ever since she’d come to on the healer’s table in Drekne. “I don’t know, it’s hard to explain, I guess. Never mind.”

Without even looking up at him she could feel him staring at her. She could always feel it when he was watching or looking at her; a warm certainty edged in so many inexplicable feelings washed over her, and she tried to find a place for all those emotions inside her, but it was impossible to organize them because there was just too much for one person to handle.

If only she just gave into them, she thought, if she acknowledged she felt them too, things might make sense. Or, at the very least, she’d have someone to share the burden of them with. But she was so afraid. She didn’t want to give herself to him, and then lose him, only to spend the rest of her days longing for something she could no longer have. And yet, if she did lose him before she understood just how much she’d given up before he was hers…

They’d known each other only a short time, and yet a life without Finn was already difficult to imagine no matter how she played it out in her head. She only knew she didn’t want to lose him, or ever be without him.

“Try to explain, Princess,” he urged.

“I can’t,” she muttered.

Didn’t want to was more like it, and she quickly shifted subjects to avoid the one thing she was beginning to think was the most important of them all: her feelings for him.

“Do you know anything at all about drakorens? Anything other than what the seer said?”

Gwendoliir told them all he knew before leaving them in the garden, Brendolowyn hurrying off to follow. They hadn’t seen their half-elven companion since, but they hadn’t exactly stayed in one place long enough to be found that afternoon.

The seer said the drakoren, a violent atrocity most people thought to be extinct from the world, were base-born children wrought from rape on one of the purest forms of magic to ever walk Vennakrand: the Seraphii. Drakiiri, the dragon walkers who fathered the monsters, went the way of the Seraphii they’d destroyed with unspeakable violence, but it was believed their impure offspring still lingered in dark places, guarding the treasures hoards of their fathers.

“Not really,” he admitted sheepishly. “Nothing more than what the seer said. Dangerous magic, they get inside your head and use your own thoughts against you. Your inner-most secrets, the things you hide from even yourself become the weapon it uses against you.”

The thought disturbed her, not that she really had any secrets to fear, but what if there were secrets she didn’t know about? Secrets, as Finn said, she’d been hiding from even herself. When she shuddered under the weight of her own fear of the unknown, Finn squeezed her shoulder as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly. “I’ve been inside your heart, and it is pure. And besides, who knows what other treasure it’s guarding? We could walk away from this disaster rich as kings.”

“How do you do that?” She tittered and turned in to face him again. “Most of the time you’re this big, bumbling idiot of a man who can’t control himself in proper company, but just when I need you to say exactly the right thing…”

“You really do think I’m an idiot,” he interrupted, the edge of his mouth curling with amusement, “don’t you?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“But it’s what you said,” he pointed out. “It’s what you say to me every chance you get.”

“I forgot to add infuriating. A big, fumbling and infuriating idiot. Why do you get so much amusement from my frustration? It’s as though you’re not happy unless you’re making me insane. Do you sit in waiting for moments like this, just so you can make me want to tear out my own hair?”

Finn laughed, a sound she hadn’t realized until that moment just how much she enjoyed hearing. Sometimes it was the last thing she thought about before falling asleep at night, but since the orc attack on the beach she’d thought more and more often about the way he’d grabbed her and kissed her. His body so close to hers, the softness of his mouth crushing her lips… It made her feel so unexpectedly safe. As if nothing in the world could harm her if she was in his arms.

“You don’t take anything seriously at all.”

“Life is too short to be serious all the time.” He shrugged and glanced over her shoulder to glimpse the unreal setting of the sun. Lorelei stared into his eyes, watching the way the colored light played against the pale blue of his irises. For a flickering moment she could actually see the reflection of that false sun and then he blinked and returned his gaze to her. “There is so much ahead of us,” he said. “So many responsibilities have been dropped in your lap, but it can’t be all serious all the time.”

“No,” she grinned and lowered her gaze. “I suppose it can’t.”

“Did you ever imagine when you were in your bed having pretend adventures in your head as a child one day you would find yourself admiring a magical city under the ground that boasted light from a pretend sun that actually felt warm on your face with one of the most handsome wolves in the world.”

“How did you know I used to lie awake at night having pretend adventures?”

“I know everything I will ever need to know about you,” he muttered.

“That must be why you push all the right buttons to make me crazy.”

He chuckled. “That must be it.”

Grinning coyly, she turned back toward the sunset and stared across the expanse of cresting waves. The sound of them drawing toward the shore beneath their feet was so real, so definite her growing respect for arcane power swelled inside her. That sound was one of the most peaceful, blissful things she’d ever heard, and for a moment she closed her eyes to try and capture the moment so she could always hold it in her memory.

Not just the sound of the waves, but everything about it. The hovering warmth of Finn’s body, the subtle sensation inside her soul that told her he was dying to reach out and touch her, to take her in his arms and hold her against him and do more than just kiss her. And he could feel the barest subtleties of her emotions. Could he tell she wanted him to kiss her again? To grab her and hold her body close, whispering promises of protection and an eternity together nothing in the world could ever destroy?

Finn was her future; she was his, and she wanted to taste that future right then. To feel the strength of his arms around her, the crush of his mouth against hers.

“What do you think would happen to places like this, the underground cities the Alvarii built, if they were liberated?”

Was he deliberately trying to distract her from her own thoughts? To pull her away from her longing for him before she was ready to commit to it?

“I don’t know,” she shrugged and turned back toward the sea again. “What if the U’lfer were liberated from the Edgelands, but given the choice to stay where they’d already put down roots?”

“Maybe some would answer the call of the wandering spirit,” he shook his head. “Others would want to stay, I think. All the U’lfer ever wanted was a place that felt right enough to call home.”

“Our home is always with us though,” she told him. “That’s what Yovenna told me, anyway.”

“I guess for those who’ve found their mate, that would always be true. For others, they wouldn’t want to rest until they found the place their heart could rest.”

“Maybe,” she nodded, staring out across the waves and feeling the mocking breeze against her face. It was as real to her in the moment as the wind above ground, lifting her hair and making it tickle as it rustled over her shoulder. “What about the people of Dunvarak? Do you think once their wolves are…?” She paused to try and find the right words, but never did. “Do you think after I do what I have to do at Great Sorrow’s Peak, they will stay in Dunvarak? Or will they wander the way our fathers once did?”

“All I’ve ever wanted to do was wander,” he confessed. “It’s in our blood. I used to think it was stupid, the way Viln just settled into the life King Aelfric forced on our people, but since I met you…”

Finn’s words trailed into silence, and even when she turned back to look at him, he didn’t finish that thought until she prompted him with, “Since you met me… what?”

“I don’t know, since I met you I don’t care where I am,” he shrugged. “Whether we wandered together, or found a place to settle down, as long as you were there with me I’d be at home.” Before she could blush at his confession, he steered the tone of conversation away from his own heart long enough to say, “And maybe that is what your father… what my father was really thinking the day he sacrificed himself so the rest of us could go on living. Maybe Rognar was thinking of the bigger picture when he offered you up to Heidr the way he did. You’ll give up everything you have to keep the people you love safe. To give them the life you think they deserve. It takes a powerful soul to make such sacrifices.”

“But he gave me up,” she protested. “Which means he didn’t love me.”

“Maybe he gave you up
because
he loved you, Lorelei. Maybe he wasn’t giving you up at all,” he went on, “did you ever think of that? Maybe in giving you to Heidr, he was saving you.”

Neither of them spoke for a long time after that. They just stood there staring out over the illusion of the setting sun as it disappeared behind false clouds, the beach darkening with nightfall. Lorelei reached back, her fingers searching for his until she found them. She held his hand and watched the colorful light dance across the foaming crests of the waves riding toward the shore. She leaned her back against the solid breadth of his chest and closed her eyes. She basked in the feeling of his nearness and knew it would not be long before she gave in to him.

Days, maybe, only a few minutes if she stayed close to him that way.

He leaned downward, lowered his face against her cheek and she trembled at the bristling itch of his facial hair on her skin. Turning toward him, she was almost surprised to find his soft mouth waiting to kiss her. An electric sensation rippled through her when his lips came over hers, like the static that gathered every time she stood near Bren as he cast magical protection around their camp. The wide palm of his hand slid in across her waist and drew her body even closer, his fingers tickling across her midriff before tightening as they spread over her stomach.

She lifted her own hand to rest on the back of his neck, to hold him as close as she could while he was kissing her. Her body tingled and ached in ways it had only done since she met him, as though his very touch was enough to make her come alive.

Both hands on her hips, he spun her into him and she relaxed against his body, allowing him to kiss her and touch her with no intention of pulling away.

It felt right, and if he were to whisper that he wanted her, she would have been his before the words finished leaving his mouth.

The nervous clearing of a throat behind them startled her from Finn’s arms, and when she spun out to see who’d caught them in that compromising position, she found Brendolowyn standing several paces up the beach, his head lowered in blushing respect.

“Deepest apologies for the interruption.”

Relief mingled with an eerie sense of desperation, and she sidestepped away from Finn, ignoring the gruff rumble of his frustration as she nervously straightened her unruffled gown.

“Bren… We were just watching the sun set.” She fumbled over her own words, unsure why she felt as though she were somehow betraying her friend every time she let herself feel the connection between her and Finn. “It’s so amazingly real,” she gushed, ignoring the warm flood of shame flushing her cheeks a shade of bright pink the darkness hid from everyone but her.

“That is the beauty of magic,” he admitted, “it is oftentimes more real than real. I’ve just come…” he paused for a moment as if checking himself, then went on, “I’ve spoken to the King Under the City and he’s agreed to the terms of Hodon’s alliance. His troops march at daybreak for Dunvarak.”

“That is good news.”

“I’ve also just come from the libraries, and I’ve learned as much as I could about the drakoren. Far more than I think we might have learned further pressing Gwendoliir for details, anyway.”

Finn straightened his shoulders and turned into the conversation. “Can it be killed with a blade?”

“If you can keep your wits about you, yes, but even then it won’t be easily done. They are quick and their skin is covered with armor-like scales, a gift from their fathers that is not so easily penetrated, I’m afraid.” Bren avoided eye contact when he spoke, looking past them both at the last fingers of light dipping beneath the long expanse of the water. “They are also quite skilled with magic, most particularly of the mind-controlling type.”

“Mind-control?”

“They delve deep, just as the seer said, using one’s own thoughts and fears as weapons. We will have to work together,” he went on, “magic and steel, without any grudges or bad feelings between us. The drakoren gathers its power from the heart and mind, using emotions to wear an enemy down.” Another pause, and then he said, “I think we should get to the bottom of our enmity and make peace between us before we even leave Nua Duaan.”

“There is no enmity…” she started.

“Fair enough.” Finn took a step toward Bren, but Lorelei reached a hand out to grasp his wrist and hold him back. She didn’t have much luck restraining him. The wolf was twice her size and seemed to have been itching for an opportunity to express himself. “For starters, I don’t like the way you look at her when you think no one else is watching you.”

“Finn,” she gasped, her fingers digging into the thickness of his wrist.

“I suppose that makes us even. I don’t like much about you at all,” Brendolowyn countered truthfully, shocking Lorelei with how blatantly honest they were both being. “You’re rude, brash, arrogant and you think you’re invincible. It is the error of youth, but I have seen things, Mad Finn the Reckless, things I should not have been privy to, and I can tell you this: if we do not set aside our differences right now, one of us will
not
return. Just as the seer said.”