Authors: Nick Alexander
He starts to fold out the cushions that form the sleeping area. “Anyway, we can always move on tomorrow.”
I pull a face. “Erm, hello?” I say. “We're definitely moving tomorrow!”
We sit on the side step and eat bowls of pasta with tinned tomato sauce, then dump the bowls in the tiny sink and crawl into bed. “It's actually really comfortable,” Tom says, snuggling to my back.
“Mmmm,” I agree. “I'm so glad we're doing this.”
We listen to the sounds of Bonassola: an Italian TV
from the caravan behind us, a main road far away to the left, and the ubiquitous Mediterranean moped buzzing up some distant hill.
As the first wave of sleep drifts over me, I hear someone snoring, and the last thing I realise is that it's me.
I wake up early; the sun has returned and is pushing through the deep orange curtains. Somewhere on-site a baby screams. I snuggle against Tom and he groans and stretches, then pushes back against me. I move and push my morning hardness against his buttocks and he makes an “um” noise and wriggles still closer. I reach round to touch him but he intercepts my hand with his own and pulls it up around his chest with a mumbled, “Sorry.”
The dozing ends suddenly when Tom leaps from the bed and starts pulling on his jogger bottoms. “The time has come to check out the local plumbing,” he declares, pulling a face.
I grimace, roll over and watch him leave. “Good luck,” I say. “It's grim.”
When Tom returns, I look up from the kettle which is just starting to whistle. “God I love all this,” I tell him.
“I'm not loving the toilets,” he says.
I grin. “No, all this,” I say sweeping my hand over the mini kitchen. “I can't explain why, but every bit of it, from the smell of the butane gas to the taste of plastic cups. It just all leaves me ecstatic.”
“There's something about the sound too,” Tom says. “The dull echo in here that makes it sound like camping, you know what I mean?”
I nod and pour the water. “I do,” I say.
“It's all a bit girly I guess,” Tom says. “Maybe that's why we gay boys like camping so much.”
I frown, indicating non-comprehension and fiddle in the tiny drawer for a teaspoon.
“You know, like a wendy-house,” he explains. “Play tea-sets and all.”
We settle for cornflakes with long-life milk and promise each other that we'll buy proper Italian food just as soon as we can, and then â my favourite bit of all â we close the side door, climb into the front seats, and drive our home right out of there.
Bonassola is a beautiful little town â it turns out to that we missed the centre completely last night. Nestled against the azure sea it's truly tempting, but after a moment's hesitation we drive on through. Tom has his heart set on Cinque Terra, five seaside towns linked by rocky walkways, which his ex, Antonio, told him are amongst Italy's most beautiful tourist spots.
The road swoops and climbs back up into the sumptuous greenery of the vine-covered hills, hills that echo and throw back the spluttering sound of the rear, air-cooled engine.
Zigzagging down the hillsides are networks of seated lawnmower contraptions mounted on flimsy steel monorails. We figure out that they must be the grape harvesting solution in this difficult terrain.
“I'd love to have a go on one of those,” I tell Tom.
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I wonder how fast they go.”
Just after Levanto, I pull over to a siding and we buy ripe, red tomatoes and deep-green lettuce along with
the smallest most vibrantly coloured courgettes I have ever seen. While Tom boils eggs and prepares a tuna salad, I sit and peer out through the sliding windows at the glimmering sea. A gentle breeze flutters the roped-back curtains and makes the cooker flame flicker and spit.
Tom leans down and peers out over the rolling blue. “It's a great spot,” he laughs. “Can't we just stay here?”
By the time we get to Monterosso, the first of the Cinque Terra towns, it's already gone half-past eight.
“The light will be fading soon,” Tom comments glumly. “And it ain't gonna get any easier to find another campsite in the dark. We should have left earlier.”
It's true we had a long lunch â I even dozed off in the sun â but the road was unexpectedly slow, a veritable obstacle course of hairpin bends, tractors, mopeds and other, more leisurely camper-vans.
“Oh I expect we have another hour,” I say already noisily accelerating back up the hill. “There'll be another campsite soon enough.”
“If it's not chock-a-block as well,” Tom says.
We're both feeling grumpy and tired. I'm starting to wish we had stayed in the car park.
“Yeah, well,” I say. “Let's wait and see, eh?”
Mark is looking for love in all the wrong places. He always ignores the warning signs preferring to dream, time and again, that he has finally met the perfect lover until, one day â¦
Through fifty adventures, Nick Alexander, takes us on a tour of modern gay society: bars, night-clubs, blind dates, Internet dating ⦠It's all here.
Funny and moving by turn,
Fifty Reasons to Say Goodbye
is ultimately a series of candidly vivid snapshots and a poignant exploration of that long winding road: the universal search for love.
“A witty, polished collection of vignettes ⦠Order this snappy little number.” â Tim Teeman,
The Times
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Following the loss of his partner, Mark, the hero from the bestselling
Fifty Reasons to Say Goodbye
, tries to pick up the pieces and build a new life for himself in gay friendly Brighton.
Haunted by the death of his lover and a fading sense of self, Mark struggles to put the past behind him, exploring Brighton's high and low-life, falling in love with charming, but unavailable Tom, and hooking up with Jenny, a long lost girlfriend from a time when such a thing seemed possible. But Jenny has her own problems, and as all around are inexorably sucked into the violence of her life, destiny intervenes, weaving the past to the present, and the present to the future in ways no one could have imagined.
“Alexander has a beautifully turned ear for a witty phrase ⦠I think we can all recognise the lives that live within these pages, and we share their triumphs and tragedies, hopes and lost dreams.” â Joe Galliano,
Gay Times
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On holiday with new boyfriend Tom, Mark â the hero from the best-selling novels,
Fifty Reasons to Say Goodbye
and
Sottopassaggio
â heads off to rural Italy for a spot of camping.
When the ruggedly seductive Dante invites them onto his farmland the lovers think they have struck lucky, but there is more to Dante than meets the eye â much more.
Thoroughly bewitched, Tom, all innocence, appears blind to Dante's dark side ⦠Racked with suspicion, it is Mark who notices as their holiday starts to spin slowly but very surely out of control â and it is Mark, alone, who can maybe save the day â¦
Good Thing, Bad Thing
is a story of choices; an exploration of the relationship between understanding and forgiveness, and an investigation of the fact that life is rarely quite as bad â or as good â as it seems. Above all
Good Thing, Bad Thing
is another cracking adventure for gay everyman Mark.
“Spooky, and emotionally turbulent â yet profoundly comedic, this third novel in a captivating trilogy is a roller-coaster literary treasure all on its own. But do yourself a favour, and treat yourself to its two prequels as soon as
you can ⦔ â Richard Labonte,
Book Marks
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Better Than Easy
â the fourth volume in the Fifty Reasons series â finds Mark about to embark on the project of a lifetime, the purchase of a hilltop gîte in a remote French village with partner Tom.
But with shady dealings making the purchase unexpectedly complex, Mark finds himself with time on his hands â time to consider not only if this is the right project but whether Tom is the right man.
A chance meeting with a seductive Latino promises nirvana yet threatens to destroy every other relationship Mark holds dear, and as he navigates a seemingly endless ocean of untruths, Mark is forced to question whether any worthwhile destination remains.
Better Than Easy
combines a tense tale of betrayal and a warming exploration of the mix of courage and naivety required if we are to choose love and happiness â if we are to continue to believe against seemingly impossible odds.
“
Better Than Easy
is my favourite of Nick Alexander's novels so far. It's sweet, sexy, funny and tender, and I'm not ashamed to say I laughed and cried.” â
Time Out
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Sleight Of Hand
â the fifth volume in the Fifty Reasons series â finds Mark living in Colombia with Ricardo.
But there is more to Colombia than paradisiacal beaches and salsa music, and though Mark believes Ricardo to be his perfect soul mate he is torn between the security of home and the rich tapestry of his Colombian lifestyle.
When a friend's mother dies, Mark hopes that attending the funeral will enable him to decide where his future lies but no sooner does Mark set foot in England than bonds of love and obligation from the past begin to envelop him with such force that he wonders not only if his relationship with Ricardo will survive, but if he will ever be able be break free again.
In
Sleight of Hand
, Nick Alexander weaves universal themes of honesty and happiness, desire and obligation into a rich narrative we can all identify with â a narrative that prompts laughter and tears, frequently on the same page.
“A tender, deeply moving portrait of what it means to be gay in the twenty-first century. Alexander has looked beyond stereotypical representations of sexuality, both gay and
straight, to show us the infinite possibilities of what love, family and belonging truly mean. It re-imagines the boundaries of gay fiction and inspires us to re-evaluate our lives.” â Alex Hopkins,
Out There
magazine
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iTunes