Soul Betrayed (5 page)

“If I live that long!” I argued, starting to panic. Nothing about this plan was going the way I thought it would. Being mortal without a full set of memories wasn’t going to help me destroy Hannah.

Thomas shoveled a forkful of eggs into his mouth, grinning. “Good job, mother.”

Sophia flicked her gaze at him then back to me. “I think you should eat.” She speared a piece of egg on her fork. “Someone is here to see you.”

Who could be here to see me? Cooper was my only friend at that point. Everyone else was undoubtedly terrified of me. “I’m not hungry.”

“You should eat,” Cooper chimed in.

I picked up a piece of toast and nibbled on it, the hunger I had felt earlier completely gone. “Happy?” I murmured.

Sophia gave me a satisfied nod and turned to her son. “When are the rest coming in?”

“In a few hours,” he said between hearty bites. “I called them as soon as Cooper said Maggie was up.”

“Excellent,” Sophia murmured.

“Who are the rest?” I inquired. “More Prognatum?”

She nodded. “Yes. We are finalizing the plan for your infiltration of the Shadowed.”

The dry toast stuck in my throat. “I don’t have all of my memories back yet. They are going to see right through me.”

Especially Jackson.

“It’s not going to happen today, but that’s part of the reason I brought your visitor here.”

“Who is it?” I was beyond curious.

She glanced up at Cooper then back at her plate. “Your father.”

My fingers went numb, the toast falling onto my plate. “My father is here?” I repeated, not sure if it could be true.

Sophia nodded. “Felix had me contact him after you had reunited with your body.”

I remembered the disappointment in my father’s eyes the night I’d killed Gemma and Tristan and the fact that he hadn’t bothered to see or speak to me for the past century made my insides twist.

Sophia patted her lips with her napkin and delicately placed it back on her lap. “Cooper will take you to him when you are finished.”

I looked down at my plate. I wasn’t hungry but I picked up a slice of bacon, delaying the inevitable.

Sophia ate her breakfast quietly while Thomas and I made small talk. He lived in New York City, close to the vault where he’d been guarding me. He was currently single with a soft spot for sushi. Not that I really needed to know that, but he was a good distraction.

“What are you going to do now?” I asked, picking up another slice of toast.

He shrugged, gulping down the last of his coffee. “I’m thinking about taking a mission overseas. I’d like to see more of the world.”

Guilt surged through me. I’d been the reason he wasn’t about to work on more important missions for the Caeleste.

You were his mission
. Sophia and Thomas didn’t seem put out or disappointed in spending the past hundred years guarding a frozen body. It had been important to them. Now I just had to try to not screw it up.

Finishing my meal I pushed my chair from the table and stood up, brushing off a few crumbs from my jeans.

Sophia stood as well, “I’ll see you soon,” she said, before sweeping out of the room, leaving her plate for the staff to clean up.

Thomas crumpled his napkin and placed it on the plate in front of him before lifting his and his mother’s plate and following Sophia from the room. “Good luck,” he called, his voice floating across the room as he disappeared behind the door.

I blew out a breath, “Do you think anyone would notice if I ran away?”

Cooper smiled. “Maybe
he
can help with your memories?”

Always the optimist.

“Let’s go then,” I said and pushed away from the table.

***

My father’s study was on the opposite wing from where I’d been acclimating to my body. I bet Father had something to do with the separation. Each step toward the room widened the pit in my stomach and I had to break the silence. “Have you ever met my father?”

“No,” Cooper admitted. “Other than immediate family, the Prognatum don’t reveal themselves to others until they are transformed. But even after Ally transformed, he hasn’t been eager to meet with her.”

At least I wasn’t the only one. Although after the situation that David put his daughter in, I was sure that Father wouldn’t want to meet her. Just like he didn’t want to see me after what I’d done. “You didn’t see him in the After?”

Cooper hesitated, his eyes not meeting mine. “He took the majority of his cases out of the area. To keep his distance from Ally.”

And me.

Cooper opened his mouth to say something but I put up a hand. “I killed his daughter. Both of them actually. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why he was avoiding me.”

We arrived at the door to my father’s study before Cooper could give me any more excuses for my father’s absence. It wasn’t Cooper’s responsibility to defend him, Father could do that on his own. Although he rarely apologized for anything. That was a fact I knew without needing my memories.

“It will be fine.” Cooper said, touching my shoulder in support.

His serious expression mixed with my anxiety had created an unexpected sensation inside of me. I laughed uncomfortably and pushed the door to the study open. I barely got a chance to take in the richly decorated room before I saw him. My father stood in front of the fireplace, his proper posture marred by one of his legs kicked out to the side. He wore a tailored black suit, his hands tucked into the pants pockets. A thick brown beard covered his mouth, but I knew he wasn’t smiling. I felt as if I were six years old again being scolded for getting my dress dirty before dinner, but this time the reason was much worse.

“You still don’t take anything seriously do you?” His voice was gruff, hard and sparked something inside of me.

Before I could open my mouth to answer, my body temperature spiked and I lurched forward, the floor rising up to meet me.

***

I waded through the darkness as the memories of our relationship slowly filled the gaps in my mind. Snippets of my birth mother’s funeral broke through the barrier of my locked memories. A red-headed girl clung to her mother’s leg as the woman spoke in hushed tones to my father. My father had touched the lady’s arm in a way that made me want to turn away. Instead I’d focused on the girl. She was terribly shy. The disdain I felt for the woman turned to something light and airy in my stomach as I assessed her daughter. The girl locked eyes with me and I reached out a hand to her. Her eyes widened and her mouth popped open and she ran to me as if she needed another body touching hers to survive. Taking her hand I had pulled her from the room.

The memory swirled around me in a mist of colors. The rest filled in around it. I saw my father’s wedding to Gemma’s mother. Even though she was the lady of the house, I took more responsibility over Gemma than she ever did. And the estate for that matter. I recounted how close my father and I had been as if we shared a secret that I had not yet learned. I watched myself grow up as if it were all being shown on a movie screen; every moment my father and I had shared. As I grew up the arguments between us became more frequent as my personality shaped, but there was always that deeper connection between us, as much as we fought, we became closer. We had similar personalities and ideas, which made it unbearable to be around him at times, but I loved him dearly. Those images scattered before my eyes as they moved past to blurry memories of the day-to-day. I knew my purpose was to find a husband and raise a family but even from an early age it wasn’t something I had passion for. I always wanted more. An idea that he never squashed, instead he encouraged me to gain knowledge of the world around me, as if he, too, were waiting for something. As each birthday passed, father allowed me more and more freedom, unlike Gemma who he kept under a stricter hand. With each passing year, the gaps in my memory widened. Father had become distracted and cold toward me, focusing instead on Gemma. Just as I peered deeper into my memories, I hit a mental block, quickly moving onto the next somewhat clear memory. Nearing my sixteenth year, a dark cloud started to take shape around the periphery of my vision. I tried to push it away but it thickened significantly, once again obscuring almost all of my memories.

I pushed further into my mind, reaching for whatever information I could. I needed to understand why my father had pulled away from me when I’d needed him most.

Jackson.
The thought of him broke through the barrier and I fell into a memory, almost as vivid as the night of my death.

CHAPTER FIVE

“Margaret! Open the door.” Father’s muffled voice carried through the solid wood that separated us. The fire in the hearth crackled, startling me. I blinked, my skin taut from the dried tears that caked my cheeks.

I forced myself to roll over. Everything had become more difficult as my pregnancy had progressed. Even simple tasks like rolling over in bed had me nearly sweating with the effort. I scanned the room. I knew Jackson was there, but he hadn’t become corporeal since Father told him to break it off with me.

The most important men in my life had broken my heart into a thousand pieces and replaced it with a hole as black as the night sky. Sliding a hand over my belly I closed my eyes. Even though this baby was half Tristan’s, it would be more than half of me. It would grow to become a special part of the After.

“Margaret,” Father called again.

“It’s open,” I snapped.

The door swung open and I glanced over at Father, his mouth turned downward. He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I suppose you want me to come down for dinner?”

“It would be nice for you to share a meal with your family at least once this week.”

I had ordered all of my meals to be taken in my room for the past few days. I couldn’t face Tristan or Gemma. Even though Tristan and I did share a bed at night, he only came to me in the late hours of the night; presumably after seeing my sister. The sight of either of them made me sick to my stomach.

“Why bother? I’ll be transformed soon enough and leave all of them behind.”

“Your child needs a father,” Father said.

“Jackson can be the father.”

Father narrowed his eyes. “That’s not how this works.”

I sat up as quickly as I could. “If you would have just stayed out of this I would know more about how this works. But you destroyed it.”

Father raised his voice. “You will not speak to me like this—”

“Why does it matter?” I matched his tone. I swept my hand across the bed, encompassing the room. “None of this will matter.”

Father leaned over the bed, inches from me. “This. This is what is supposed to matter. If Jackson had told you everything he should have explained that humans are who we protect. We are not above them.”

I snorted. What did he know? He chose to stay on the Living Realm after his wife had passed instead of moving on. I would have never done that. Once this baby was born and I was transformed I was out of here, with Jackson. We would go somewhere and start a new life together.

Father’s eyes flicked up toward the fireplace and my head snapped in that direction before his gaze slid back to mine. The flames in the hearth made his eyes gleam, but his expression was anything but happy.

“I see that I have to resort to other methods to get you to understand.”

I sat up, still staring at the space near the fireplace. Even if I couldn’t see him, I knew he was there. “Understand what?”

“Your infatuation with your Guard is unnatural. He was meant to stay with the family while you move on. But it appears that you are unable to look past this.” His eyes flicked back toward the roaring fire. “This is not the way of our world. You will understand that someday, but I will do what I have to. You will end this, or you will never see him again, in this life or the next.”

My chest ached. “Never.” I shoved off the bed and glared up at my father. “When I transform—”

“It will be done long before you transform.”

I narrowed my gaze. “If that happens I will live the rest of my life making you regret that decision.”

“What happened to you?” His voice was low and I knew I hovered on dangerous ground with him.

My eyebrows furrowed. “I am the same person I’ve always been. You just keep trying to change me.”

Father shook his head slowly. “No.” He lunged forward, his eyes sparkling manically as I scrambled away from him, but he grabbed my arms and yanked me until I was inches from him. My skin crawled and I attempted to lift my arms but he held them in place.

“Let go of me,” I growled, needing to get away from this crazed man.

“You aren’t even a shadow of my daughter anymore.”

“Let me go!” I shouted, shoving away from him.

He let me go and I dashed for the fireplace and balanced myself with one hand gripping the mantle. I wasn’t sure exactly where Jackson was but I knew he was close by. Just the thought of him near me made my heart race.

“What did he do to you?” Father asked.

I inhaled and let go of my breath slowly. It was something the midwife taught me in preparation for labor, a calming mechanism. The last thing I needed now was stress. Not when I was this close to getting everything I wanted.

My own family.

“You’re prepared to leave everyone behind?”

I turned to him, my hand sliding across the smooth wood. “I am prepared to do what it takes to get what I want.”

“What of Tristan?”

“What of him?” I yelled, not caring who heard. “Do you even know what goes on under your own roof? The deceit, the lies.” I shook my head, not willing to touch on that part of my life that I had let go.

“You will deprive your child of a father? Its actual father?”

I absently rubbed my belly. “Like I said, I will do what it takes.”

“Jackson has failed you,” Father murmured.

“Actually he hasn’t,” I said. “I’ve never felt as if I truly belonged until I met him.”

Father pulled his hand across his beard. “You’re young. You both have duties that are independent from each other. You will never be together in the way you want. If he was here right now, I’m sure this isn’t what he’d want for you.”