Authors: Alicia Dean
Softly, she murmured, “That night—I—you...” The only words she could form were incoherent drivel. Her heart pounded, her belly clenching with the strangest feeling she’d ever had. She lifted her lashes, staring up at him, wanting to lose herself in his glittering blue gaze. Wanting to feel his hands on her body...his full, sensual lips on hers. Wanting to be swept away in whatever madness this was. It felt so strange, yet at the same time, exhilarating, compelling, irresistible...
dangerous.
Yes, Dangerous.
Gulping in a breath, she stepped back. His touch fell away, breaking the strange hold he had on her.
“You! It was you there that night. In the alley...” Her breath came in short gasps as the odd yearning was replaced by fear. “Then again, at the hospital.” She shot her gaze around the room. “Where’s the other one? The blond guy? Who the hell are you?”
Her voice had risen, and she glanced at Ms. Chapman. Audra had almost forgotten she was there, but of course, the woman hadn’t heard a thing. She had remained oblivious to the world around her since the surgery.
Audra turned back to the man...her hallucination. Now so real she could almost feel his touch.
I’ve suffered brain trauma. Dear God. There’s something seriously wrong with me.
He gazed at her, his expression a mixture of concern and unhappiness. “I hoped this wouldn’t happen. I didn’t want you to—”
The heart monitor’s slow, steady beep turned into one, long monotone. Ms. Chapman had flat-lined.
Whirling from the stranger, Audra pressed the emergency call button and grabbed the bed board from beneath the bed. As she was sliding it under the patient, the code team—Jaxon in the lead—burst into the room with the crash cart. Audra took position at the patient’s head and placed the Ambu Bag over Ms. Chapman’s nose and mouth. She began squeezing in five second intervals to help the woman breathe, while each of the other team members assumed their roles.
Heart racing, knowing it was unlikely she could save her, Audra continued her attempts to resuscitate. Jaxon and the others moved with efficiency and speed born of practice as they administered aid to the rapidly fading Ms. Chapman.
From her peripheral vision, Audra was aware the apparition was still in the room. He reached his hand out toward the elderly woman in the bed. Audra shivered.
Ignore him, concentrate on Ms. Chapman. He’s not there...he’s not real.
That evening, Audra filled a tub with hot water and tossed in some bath beads she’d received for Christmas a few years back. They’d been part of a relaxation gift pack that included a bath pillow and a CD with the sounds of the ocean and a rainforest.
Of course, all the bath beads and relaxation pillows in the world wouldn’t bring Ms. Chapman back. Nothing would.
Audra let out a heavy sigh. She’d never become accustomed to losing a patient. Never. Over time, the pain and feeling of hopelessness lessened, but it was always difficult...heart wrenching. Mary Lou had been sympathetic as Audra turned in her incident report, but all the sympathy in the world didn’t ease Audra’s feeling she should have done more.
Sure, she knew all the platitudes.
Ms. Chapman was old, she’d been ill for a while, she was in a better place, blah, blah, blah.
Truth was, she was gone. Hard as she and Jaxon and the others had tried, Ms. Chapman was as dead as if they hadn’t done a thing.
Shaking her head to rid her mind of the dismal thoughts, she stripped and slid into the hot, scented water. In a matter of moments, the gentle sound of rain and the soothing scent of vanilla enveloped her.
She rested her head on the bath pillow and closed her eyes, trying not to see Ms. Chapman’s sweet face, or hear the drone of the heart monitor as it mocked their efforts to save her. It just wasn’t fair. Not fair at all. Death was so sudden, so final. One second you were there, the next you just….weren’t.
She took a long, deep breath, trying to visualize a tropical rainforest. Green thick, leafy trees...a drizzle of moisture falling gently...monkeys chirping...
The muted sound of the doorbell cut through her solitude, and she startled awake. She had no idea how long she’d been dozing, but now the water was tepid. Standing, she reached for a bath towel, shivering when the cool air licked her skin.
As she limped down the hallway, she attempted to dry her body, slip on a robe, and make her way to the door all at the same time. She was only marginally successful with the drying.
Through the peephole, she saw Riley standing on her porch.
When she swung the door open, Riley lifted a bottle of Chablis toward her like a presenter at an awards ceremony. “I brought wine.”
Audra smiled, stepping back to allow Riley inside. “I can see that.”
As Riley brushed past, her gaze took in Audra’s attire. “Already in your robe? It appears I’m just in time. You’re not allowed to be pathetic tonight. Grab some glasses.”
Riley wore black sweat pants and a Packers sweatshirt, and had her hair pulled back in a ponytail, which, in Audra’s estimation, only put her a few rungs ahead of Audra on the wardrobe ladder.
Audra forced a small smile. “You know, you don’t have to bring alcohol every time I lose a patient. I’m sure you had better things to do tonight.”
“Trust me, I wanted to come over. Sadie’s with Mom, and I had nothing to do.”
“Where’s Brent?”
She grinned. “At home. And that’s the third good reason for me to be here.”
Audra laughed. “Have a seat,” she said, taking the bottle. “I’ll get the glasses.”
While Riley settled in the living room, Audra searched the kitchen for the corkscrew. Following a brief struggle to remove the cork, she filled two glasses and joined Riley, bringing the bottle with her.
“Thanks,” Riley said when Audra handed her a glass, then settled cross-legged on the sofa.
Audra set the bottle on the coffee table and sat next to Riley. She clicked the remote and turned the television onto the Elvis Presley music station. “Long Black Limousine” was playing. Sadness filled her heart as Elvis sang the haunting lyrics of a hearse carrying his lost love. Just the kind of song she needed to hear, the mood she was in.
Riley took a sip from her glass, then tilted it toward Audra. “We’ll call this a combination mourning and celebration. I settled a case today, and my client got almost everything we asked for.”
Audra scowled. “Somehow, celebrating divorce just doesn’t seem right.”
“I don’t
celebrate
divorce, but if there is a divorce, I celebrate my client not getting screwed over. Better?”
Audra thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “Sure. Works for me. Here’s to success.” She lifted her glass and they toasted.
“You okay?” Riley studied Audra with narrowed eyes.
Audra shrugged. “You know how it is. You never really get used to losing a patient, failing to save someone’s life.”
“No. I don’t know how it is. I can’t imagine having a job where I knew, every day, there was a chance I’d watch someone die.” Her voice lost its former joviality, and Audra knew she was thinking about Steve.
Riley and Brent had separated a few years back. Riley met Steve and fell in love, but, for the sake of her daughter, she went back to Brent. A little over a year ago, Steve was killed in a boating accident.
Riley never showed the impact his death had on her, but sometimes Audra would see her stare off, her face clenching, her eyes clouding with grief, and she’d know Riley was thinking about him.
Audra had always wanted to ask her if she regretted staying with Brent, but that probably would have been a stupid question. Had Riley married Steve, she’d be a divorcee, and now a widow. But then again, maybe if they’d gotten married, Steve wouldn’t have died. Who knows what would have happened if Riley had left Brent for Steve. Funny how one change could set someone’s life on a totally different course.
“It’s not easy. Thank God it doesn’t happen every day.” She refilled her wine glass, then Riley’s.
“Anything new with the case? Any lead on your attackers?”
Audra shook her head. “Nothing. Doubtful there ever will be. I’ve put it behind me.”
Riley grimaced. “Whoever did this is still out there. Don’t you think you should be more cautious? Stop walking everywhere you go? You have a car, you know.”
Guilt stabbed her. “I told you I was sorry about walking home with Sadie. It won’t happen again.”
“It’s not just Sadie I’m worried about. Those guys could come back and hurt you again.”
“I figure if they were going to come after me, they would have already.”
“I hope you’re right.” Riley gestured to Audra’s empty glass. “Pass that over here.” Audra complied and Riley split the last of the wine between the two of them, then set the empty bottle on the coffee table. “If it were me, I’d still be a little creeped out.”
Audra thought of the two apparitions who’d haunted her since the night of the attack.
You want creeped out, I’ve got something that can top those amateur thugs.
She hadn’t told anyone, but if there were anyone she could tell, it was Riley. Suddenly, she felt the need to unburden herself.
“Listen,” she said. It came out sounding a little like ‘lishen.’ The Chablis was working its magic. “If I tell you something, will you promise you won’t think I’m crazy?”
“Well, I always think you’re crazy.” Riley’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “But go ahead, try me.”
Audra set her glass down on the table. She tried to work out the words in her head before she spoke them, knowing no matter how they came out, she’d sound like a lunatic.
Twisting her hair around her forefinger, she said, “Actually, that’s part of the problem. I think I might be a little crazy.” A frisson of trepidation moved through her. She picked up her glass and took another sip before continuing. “I…uh...Well, since the attack, I’ve been...seeing things.”
“Things? Like what kind of things?”
“This is going to sound bizarre, but I’ve seen these two men. Several times. The first time was right after the attack, before the ambulance came.” She described what they looked like, and about seeing them again in the hospital.
“Seriously? You keep dreaming these same men over and over? That’s a little freaky.” Riley took a drink of her wine.
“It’s not a dream. I’ve been awake. Or, at least for the most part. Today, I saw one of them when Ms. Chapman...” The lulling effects of the wine fled, and she shuddered, remembering how real he’d seemed, how
there
. How she almost felt his touch. Or maybe she had felt it. “I’m not sure if I suffered some kind of brain injury or what. I don’t know whether I should consult a neurologist or a psychiatrist. What do you think I should do?”
“Wow, you’re really serious.”
“Yeah. I am.”
Uncurling her legs from beneath her, Riley scooted to the edge of the sofa. “Well, I’m not a medical professional, so it seems you’d be in a better position to decide what you should do. Now, if you end up marrying one of these hallucinations and you need a divorce, I’m your gal.”
Audra flashed back to the intensity in the dark one’s blue eyes, the sizzle of air when he’d touched her skin. The sensual pull as her nerve endings crackled with the yearning to feel his hands on her bare flesh. Her face burned, and she tried to hide it by lifting her glass and gulping wine.
Riley’s brows rose. “Oh, my God. You’re blushing. You have a thing for one of these guys or what?”
“For God’s sake, of course not. It’s just all so insane.” Audra gazed solemnly at Riley. “Am I crazy?
The humor left Riley’s expression. She leaned forward, patting Audra’s knee. “No. Of course not. I mean, if you were crazy, you wouldn’t dream up
hot
ghosts, right? You’d dream up a couple of smelly old fat bald guys.”
Audra forced a laugh. Riley smiled back, but Audra could see concern lurking in the depths of her green eyes.
~*~
The next evening, just before Audra’s shift ended, Shane called and asked her to meet him for a drink. She and Jaxon had planned to watch a movie together that night, but Jaxon now had to work late, so she was free. When she suggested The Red Door, a bar down the street from the hospital, Shane readily agreed.
On the drive, she mulled over his invitation. Was it a date or an update on the case? Whichever it was, she was looking forward to it. She hadn’t had either in a long time.
Audra entered the club and peered through the haze of cigarette smoke. She searched for Shane and in a few moments, spotted him straddling a barstool.
He smiled as he watched her approach, studying her with frank appraisal. She flushed. Maybe she should have changed out of her pale blue hospital scrubs and into something more alluring. She at least wished she could tug the ponytail holder from her hair to let it hang loose, but that might be a little too obvious.
“It’s good to see you,” Shane said. A glass filled with clear liquid sat on the bar in front of him. She guessed it was club soda or water, rather than something alcoholic. Shane wore his uniform—a Khaki color that suited his dark good looks—and was therefore probably still on duty. So, maybe this wasn’t a date.
The bartender, Ron, winked at her when she settled on a barstool next to Shane. Ron was broad-shouldered and squarely built with a shaved head, a skull tattoo on his neck, and a soul patch. He looked like a biker or ex-con—and she had no idea if that were the case—but she did know that he was an excellent bartender.
Without asking, he slid a glass of Chardonnay in front of her. “How’s it hanging, Audra?”
“Not bad. Thanks.” She sipped the wine, then twisted the stem between her fingers as she looked up at Shane. “Did you learn anything?”
“No. I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “Sorry if I got your hopes up. I just wanted to see if you’d thought of anything to add. Remembered anything new. I know it sounds unlikely, but sometimes, even after this much time has passed, victims start to recall details they didn’t remember before.”
She tried to hide her disappointment by taking another sip of the wine. “No. Nothing new.”
“I know it’s frustrating. Scary.”
“I try not to think about it.”
He reached out and placed his warm hand over hers. “I’m here if you need me. Don’t hesitate to call.”
She swallowed and cleared her throat. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you. There is one thing you could do for me.”
He leaned slightly forward. “Name it.”
“Could you keep an eye out for Maria? I mean, I know you can’t put police protection on her or anything, but maybe just be aware. Her husband has a violent temper. He’s hurt her before, and she was meeting with me that night to finally go to the police.”
“Sure. I’ll check it out. It’s kind of you to be so concerned about her.”
Audra didn’t tell him that her reasons weren’t totally altruistic. Maria reminded Audra of her mother. Not because they looked alike, but because Audra’s mother had also been the victim of domestic violence. Although she’d died when Audra was very young, the memories of the fear and pain her mother endured would be with her forever.
By the end of the night, Audra still didn’t know if she and Shane had been on a date. He took her to dinner, then followed her home to make sure she was safe, came in for coffee, and gave her a chaste, friendly peck on the forehead before he left.
As she dozed off to sleep that night, she thought about their evening and decided she didn’t care what it had been. She’d enjoyed his company, and he’d given her a brief respite from the crazy her life had become. For the time being, that was enough.