Soulbound (29 page)

She snorted. “A prime example of Healer sacrifice. Your parents should be proud. As I am proud—my own daughter perished in the second battle of Wood’s Cross.”

I shook my head, unsure of what I should take away from her insinuation that anyone dying for any reason could be a good thing. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“Why? I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. My heart isn’t completely broken.” Her eyes were wide and crazy looking again, the way they’d been that day in Instructor Harnett’s class. And something else—Instructor Baak was lying. It was written all over her face. She was still mourning the loss of her daughter, but it seemed like she was pushing that pain away, just for appearance sake. For a moment, I felt immensely sorry for her.

Then the sadness left her eyes, replaced quickly by something ugly. On its edges burned anger, but I wasn’t convinced that it was aimed entirely at me. She leaned closer and narrowed her eyes at me in a glare. “What will
you
give when the time comes? Will you die for your Barron? I doubt it.”

Before I could say anything—not that I had anything to say to that—she snorted again and went back to pacing. I returned my cheek to my upturned palm and waited for class to be dismissed. Only this time, I didn’t fight the yawn.

T
he next morning, I slipped my mask on over my face and walked around the building toward the south gate. There weren’t many guards out this morning, but my attention wasn’t focused on them anyway. It was on the distinct, undeniable absence of my instructor. My nerves bundled into a tightly coiled ball at the pit of my stomach. I scanned the area around the gate, but he wasn’t there. Then, just as I was about to turn around and head back to the dorms, a hand fell on my shoulder. I jumped slightly, but relaxed immediately, knowing it had to be Darius.

But when I turned around, I saw that it wasn’t. It was Raden. “You’re the one getting extra training from Darius, right?”

I nodded, but didn’t speak. Mostly because I couldn’t. That ever-present fear that I’d get caught tickled the base of my spine.

Raden frowned, as if he were about to deliver some bad news and didn’t want to be put in the middle of anything, but was forced to. “He showed up earlier, told me to tell you he’s canceling today’s session. Maybe tomorrow too. Maybe for good, he hasn’t decided.”

My heart sank. With sagging shoulders, I started to turn away, but paused, turning briefly back to Raden. “Thanks.”

As I walked away, he called after me. “From what I hear, you don’t need those sessions anyway, Barron.”

Walking away, I couldn’t shake Darius from my thoughts. Where was he? Had our draw really been such a big deal to him that he’d actually walked away from training me? Wasn’t I supposed to develop enough skill to match my instructor? If I was doing what I’d set out to do, what Darius had set out for me to do, then what was the problem exactly? Why would it end with him walking away without another word and not a congratulatory handshake? I didn’t get it.

Or maybe I did. Maybe my assumption that Darius hated me had been a hundred percent correct after all. And maybe my attacking him had just solidified his reasons for disliking me. My stomach was in knots as I crossed the campus, slipping back behind Darius’s cottage to the armory where Maddox was waiting. As I opened the door, she looked up, confusion filling her features. “What happened?”

Slipping my mask off, I shook my head. A terrible
disappointment had seeped into every fiber of my being. It seemed silly, moping about something that I had no control over. But I was, and couldn’t help the way that I was feeling. “Darius didn’t show. Raden said that he mentioned canceling. Maybe for good.”

Maddox frowned. “Did he say why?”

“He didn’t have to.” I sucked in a breath and let the confession come pouring out of me. It was a bit of a relief just to say the words aloud, but in no way eased my tension completely. “Yesterday, we were facing off and it ended in a draw.”

Her jaw almost hit the floor. As I changed clothes, she tried to speak several times, but in the end, just grabbed me by the arm and tugged me out the door. Of course she was shocked that I’d matched Darius in a fight—who wouldn’t be? I certainly didn’t think that it was possible, especially this early on in my training. And I never thought that doing so would be enough to end our training sessions. Of course, it was possible that that wasn’t the reason at all. Maybe it was because I’d lost my temper. Maybe it was because I’d totally disrespected my instructor by attacking him. And maybe my unexpected attack had simply surprised him, and that’s the only reason we were in a draw. Or maybe he let me come to a draw, because he felt sorry for me. I had no idea, and might not ever know.

All I did know was that my feet felt heavy as we snuck back to the dorms, and that my chest felt tight as I got
dressed in my school uniform and made my way down to the dining hall.

The hall was busy as usual, and Trayton waved us over to our table in the corner. Maddox disappeared to the food line and I pushed my way through the crowd, stopping only when I noticed the familiar face seated next to Trayton. I slid into my seat across from Trayton and he stood, brushing his hand over mine before giving it a squeeze. “Morning, Kaya. I hope you don’t mind the company. Darius has something he wants to talk to me about.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” I managed a smile at Darius, who simply nodded at me. There was no emotion there, no reaction to me at all but for the nod. I didn’t know what he was up to exactly, but something about the timing of this little chat felt off. Glancing over at the food line, I tried to find Maddox, but she was nowhere that I could see. Great. I was going to have to face this on my own.

“As I said, Trayton, I could certainly use your advice on something. You see, I’ve taken to giving extra training lessons to a Barron who desperately needs them.” As Darius spoke, the corner of his mouth lifted slightly in a smirk. Darius was about to say something that both of us might come to regret. My chest tightened, but in a whole new way. “But I’ve reached a point where I’m not at all certain whether or not I should continue my efforts to better her skills.”

Trayton sat back in his chair, listening intently. “It’s not like you to give up on someone, Darius.”

“Not normally, no. But this student is kind of a dek.” He sat back then, cocking an eyebrow, and there was no doubt at all that he was talking about me.

Trayton chuckled. “What makes her such a dek?”

“She’s stubborn, hardheaded, thinks she knows better than me.”

“Not good traits for a Barron, but are you sure that’s the problem? Maybe she has a thing for you. It wouldn’t be the first time a student fell for you.” Trayton shrugged. His tone was matter of fact. It shouldn’t have surprised me that girls often fell for Darius, but for some reason, it did. Maybe because everyone else at the school thought that he was an Unskilled, and that label put him beneath them somehow. Or maybe for some other reason entirely.

“That may be the case…” He didn’t look at me, but I could tell that he was tempted to. I pretended to look for Maddox. Attracted to Darius? Oh heavens no. Not me. Not even a little bit. Forcing my thoughts away from the shirtless image of him, I cleared my throat. Darius propped his feet up on the table. “But the larger problem is that she lost her temper yesterday and attacked me full on, unprovoked.”

Maddox returned to the table then, tray full of food in her hands. As she set it on the table, she said, “Who attacked you?”

“A student.”

Maddox shook her head and shrugged, irritation burning on the edges of her frown. “Drop ’em and report ’em to the headmaster.”

I had to resist the urge to kick Maddox. Hard. Leaning forward, casually plucking a grape from the food tray, I said, “The question is
why
she attacked you. Did you give her any reason?”

Darius grew quiet with contemplation. After mulling my question over for a bit, he shook his head adamantly. “None at all. We were running through some offensive maneuvers and she lost her temper when I took her down.”

“That calls for regrouping.” Trayton looked at me and offered an explanation in answer to my questioning glance. “Stepping away from the fight. Keeping a cool head is essential in a battle, so it’s a big part of training, and probably the most difficult thing to learn.”

Darius reached out and brushed a smudge of dirt from his left boot. When he spoke, it was directly to me, though no one else at the table was aware of that fact. “So the question remains…what to do? Do I end our training sessions outside the classroom, or do I continue?”

The table went quiet for a bit. Maddox shot me a glance that said that she only just realized that Darius had been talking about me. Trayton chewed on a strip of crispy bacon before responding. “That depends, Darius,
on whether or not you see potential in her for success.”

Darius returned his feet to the floor. He didn’t speak for a long time, and in his silence, he allowed his eyes to find mine for the briefest of moments.

“Her skills at times surprise me.” His voice had soft-ened some, and he dropped his gaze to the table between us. When he spoke again, my heart jumped a little. “Yes. The potential is there.”

I cleared my throat, hoping that Darius understood that I was apologizing. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”

With that, Darius stood, popped a grape into his mouth, and turned to walk away. Before he’d taken two steps, he said, “I suppose they do.”

T
he next morning, I approached the south gate. The grass was dewy under my feet, making my steps sound soft and wet. My breath came out in puffs of fog. The temperature was dropping a little more every day, Summer tripping steadily into Fall. Looking over the Barrons standing near the gate, I sighed. Darius was nowhere in sight.

But then I spied him, coming out of the guard shack. After noticing me, he came over, all business. “You’re late. Again.”

Behind my mask, I smiled. I was glad to see him too.

“Glad I caught you. I was worried I’d have to search the woods. Not that I’d know which way to look.” Trayton’s voice came from behind me. I immediately stiffened.

What was he doing here? Did he know that I was the one Darius had been talking about at breakfast yesterday? I was caught. Oh fak, I was caught and there was
nothing I could do about it. But then, I thought, maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. After all, Trayton’s tone seemed completely calm. Maybe he was okay with the idea of me training after all.

Darius smiled. First at me, then behind me at Trayton—which told me that Trayton likely had no idea that I was me at all. And with the face mask, he wouldn’t. Not unless I spoke. “We would have waited. But not for long. Let’s get out there and back before the dining hall opens for breakfast. I’m hungry enough as it is.”

Trayton moved around to my right side and offered me a nod. “Name’s Trayton.”

Darius spoke before I could utter a squeak that would undo every bit of secrecy my face mask offered. “This is Tabitha. Now if you ladies are done with the small talk, let’s focus on some quiet practice this morning, shall we?”

Trayton bowed his head respectfully and led the way to the south gate. I looked at Darius, whose smile simply grew as he extended his arm in front of him, as if to say “ladies first.” With a scowl, I followed after Trayton, my curiosity driven to the brink. Why was Trayton here? What was the point of this? And did Darius have any idea what it would mean if Trayton learned that I had been training behind his back? My relationship with Trayton would be in jeopardy. He’d have to follow Protocol and turn me over to the headmaster. And my parents…

I swallowed hard. My steps slowed, but still I followed Trayton out the gate and down the hill, with Darius close behind me. The air felt heavy. I wasn’t certain whether that was because of the thick layer of condensation hanging in it, or the worry in my heart that Darius might betray my confidence at any moment. But I moved through it, counting my paces until we reached the secret training area. It felt wrong, being here with someone who wasn’t Darius. Like an intruder had invaded our space.

Trayton slipped his training mask on and removed his katana from the sheath on his back. Darius poised himself between us, all echoes of his previous smile completely removed. He was all business now. “I’ve asked Trayton to face off with you today, Tabitha. He’s my finest student, and if you can best him, I’ll know that that little stunt you pulled yesterday wasn’t just a fluke. I’ll also know where to take the next training steps. So if you’ll step into the ring, Trayton will be on the offensive to start. Take the fight where it leads, and finish strong. Hesitation is your weakness.”

Trayton moved immediately into a fighting stance. With a nervous breath, I struck my pose, ready to face him. My heart was rattling inside my chest, and my legs were shaking. Facing Darius was one thing, but facing down the man that I was Bound to—that was another thing entirely. What if I seriously injured him? Not only would that be an awful experience for Trayton, but I’d
have no choice but to expose myself and heal him. If I didn’t, Trayton might die. And if I did…what would become of my parents?

With a million possible scenarios whipping through my mind, I readied myself for Trayton’s attack. Trayton raised up his katana in an attack, swiping it forward faster and more crisply than I was currently capable of. His attack struck me as familiar, and as I blocked it and turned, it occurred to me that I had encountered it before. Trayton fought like Darius.

As I turned, I brought my sword around and slid my left foot out, lowering my body closer to the ground. I brought the blade hard toward his shins, but at the last possible moment, Trayton jumped over my blade. Part of me was relieved. I didn’t want to injure Trayton, but then again, I didn’t want to get hurt by him either.

The moment he hit the ground, he spun and swung forward, aiming his katana right for my neck. I ducked to the side in a near panic. My heart raced so fast that it felt like a single, long beat inside my chest. The horrified realization that Trayton was aiming to kill swept over me, and I had to fight from crying out.