Authors: Vanessa Black
Stop,
I heard Aidan’s thoughts admonish me.
Don’t go any further or you will encounter the edges of darkness again,
he warned me.
I stopped straight away. I didn’t need to hear more reasoning; if he told me to stop, I would. I trusted him … I had to. I didn’t really have a choice.
But even if I did, even if I could learn how to use my power all on my own, I would still trust him. The way I felt in his arms, the feel of the connection we shared, the way his soul had felt to me when he had shared it with me … I couldn’t not trust him … he made me feel pure and safe.
Concentrate on the rays of light, Persephone
, Aidan instructed me,
listen to the surge of their power … it’s a humming sound … can you hear it?
I concentrated hard, listening with all my senses. There was no sound. I was just about to tell Aidan so when I suddenly picked up on the slightest buzzing. When I listened even harder, it abruptly became intense.
As if I had flicked a switch, I was suddenly immersed in an overwhelming pulsating wave of sound that vibrated all around me and right through me.
Oh, wow,
I thought,
I hear it, Aidan. And I can feel its power.
Good. Now you know what it feels like. Remember this feeling … this moment … remember it in as much detail as you possibly can. It will make it easier for you the next time you try to access it. Now, let’s return to our bodies.
What, that’s already it?
I exclaimed, surprised,
I thought we’d do more.
And we will, another time. For today, let it be enough that you got a taste of it. Let’s take it slow. It will be easier, and you won’t be so overwhelmed by it,
Aidan explained.
Alright,
I replied, though I felt disappointed at not being able to stay in his reassuring arms once we got back to our bodies.
You know, even though you might not direct your thoughts at me, I can still sense what you’re feeling,
Aidan told me.
Oh shit,
I thought, and then chastised myself for it because he had probably heard that as well.
Your point being?
I aimed my thoughts at Aidan directly.
My point being that just because we’re going back to our bodies, that doesn’t mean that you can’t stay in my arms,
Aidan thought softly.
But I …,
my thoughts stammered,
I … it’s just that I feel … safe … with you.
It’s okay,
Aidan reassured me,
you don’t have to explain yourself.
Besides …,
he added, hesitating slightly,
I like … having you in my arms.
I hastily returned to reality before Aidan was able to read me any further. At his last thoughts, I had felt soothing warmth spreading through me. It was a wonderful feeling to know he really cared to be close to me.
Opening my eyes, I chanced a glance in his direction. His face was right above mine, his unfathomable eyes gazing intently into mine … as if he could gaze straight into my soul ― which, I reminded myself, was exactly what he had just done.
“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden? I thought you hated me,” I couldn’t help but blurt out, even though I knew I should have held my tongue. This conversation would only lead to more chaos.
“I thought so, too. Turns out … I was wrong.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, “what changed?”
“I saw into your soul,” Aidan stated simply.
“Then you saw the darkness there, the ugly black pit that is my core. So, how can that change your mind? Can’t you see what it means? I’m … dark … evil. Why would you like me? How can you even stand to be close to me?”
“Persephone, no,” Aidan tried to calm me, “I saw the darkness. And yes, it is at your core, but I believe it hasn’t touched you yet.
Everything you say, the way you behave … at first I thought it was just an act. But I don’t think so anymore. I believe you can be … saved.
If you stay away from the darkness, if you resist it, you can stay the way you are now. And you are good, you are pure. You don’t need to become evil, Persephone. It’s a choice … your choice.”
I felt so touched by his words, by his belief in the righteousness of my soul, that I was utterly speechless. Saying nothing, I nestled my head between his shoulder and neck, and gently laid my hand on his chest, savoring the feeling of being held by someone who comforted me, believed in me … liked me.
We stayed that way for a long time, resting and drawing strength from one another. After what seemed like hours, we tore ourselves away from each other, quietly packed our things and resumed the seemingly endless walk toward the manor house.
T
he walk was tedious, the tunnel stretching out in front of us as we pushed on in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
When we had walked for hours without pausing and got ready to call it a night and get some sleep, we put down our sleeping bags once more. Aidan had procured us everything we needed, including a small enclosed area some distance away from our night camp, where we could brush our teeth and relieve ourselves.
Since we would be in this tunnel for days, I was glad I was able to do so in private. I think I would have died of shame if I’d had to go out in the open in front of Aidan…
Aidan conjured several globes which he made glow and hover in the air above us, lighting up the dark around our camp. We plumped ourselves down and ate and drank our rations for that evening.
When we were done, and before Aidan could suggest we get some rest, I asked him if we could do one more training session that evening.
“I know you said it should be enough for today. But … we’re being followed … and I would just feel better if I knew a bit more about my gift.”
“You’re not going to give up are you,” Aidan sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine. But let’s keep it short, we really need to get some rest.”
Just as before, I rested my head on Aidan’s chest, and we embarked on another journey through my mind. This time I was already a lot quicker in accessing my power, letting it fill up all my senses until I felt I had actually become one with it.
By the time we were done, I had managed not only to feel connected with my gift but also with my body at the same time.
Unlike before, when I had felt my body to be very remote while searching for my power, this time I felt I was one with both my body and my power. That had to be a good thing, I mused. At least, it felt as if I was on the right path.
Finally we slid into our sleeping bags. I was so exhausted that it didn’t take me very long to fall asleep.
My dreams were restless that night. They kept changing in mid-dream. I would be in one place, and in another a second later.
The dreams had only one thing in common … I was running. I kept running away from something … something bad that followed me from one dream to the next, always at the back of my mind … always on my heels and closing in, coming closer and closer as my dreams progressed.
I could feel the hair on the nape of my neck standing up, goose bumps covering my whole body as my feet pounded over the floor in my haste to get away from the monster on my heels.
Echoes of footsteps that did not belong to me came closer every second. I heard them closing in on my laboring and extremely tired body, the muscles in my legs screaming in protest as I ran … and ran…
Suddenly I felt a hand reaching out for me … I felt the hot, rotten breath of evil brushing my neck. As a strong hand grabbed my shoulder, a scream tore from my lungs…
My eyes flew open before the scream had died in my throat.
“It’s alright, it was just a bad dream,” Aidan said, his hand on my shoulder where he had apparently touched me to make me awaken from my nightmare.
It seemed the strong hand that had reached for me while I was still dreaming had been his. I must have made terrified noises even before I had started to scream to make him come wake me up.
I was shaking from the remnants of my nightmare and from the cold that had crept over my sweat-drenched body.
“You’re shivering all over,” Aidan said, his hand rubbing up and down my back in an attempt to warm me up.
“My clothing and sleeping bag are damp,” I said between clattering teeth, unable to stop the shivers from wracking my body.
“It’s not wise to stay in these wet clothes … or your sleeping bag for that matter,” Aidan said matter-of-factly. Letting go of me, he went back to his sleeping bag, slid inside and held his hand out to me.
“Come here,” he said, gesturing for me to come and join him.
“What? You want me to sleep in the same sleeping bag with you?” I spluttered, incredulous.
“Quick on the uptake, aren’t you,” he teased me.
“Why on earth would I want to join you in your sleeping bag?” I shot at him.
“You want to stay warm, don’t you? Your sleeping bag is damp through and through, and you’ll shiver all night if you stay in it. And if you sleep without it, you’ll be even colder.
So just quit arguing about it, get out of your wet clothing ― you can keep on your underwear ― and come here. I will keep you warm.”
“As if you couldn’t just mumble something and have my sleeping bag and clothing dry in a matter of seconds. Or have a new sleeping bag for me, at least,” I accused him. “I mean, come on, all of a sudden your usual hocus pocus can’t come to the rescue?”
“Would you believe me if I told you that I’m trying to use my powers sparingly so that I will be able to protect us?” he asked me.
“No,” I replied.
“What do you mean ― no?” he cried out, apparently taken aback.
“Well, you asked me, didn’t you?” I replied.
“So … what? You think I’m just trying to get into your pants, and this is just a ruse?”
“No … I didn’t … no … that’s not …,” I stammered, not knowing what to reply. Was that what I’d been thinking? Not sure anymore, I opted not to say anything at all.
“That’s what I thought,” Aidan replied instead.
“Well … I’m sorry! It’s just not the best idea, okay?” I tried to reason with him, “Are you sure you couldn’t just conjure another sleeping bag … or dry this one?” I urged him.
“I just did a lot of magic to get us everything we need, including a toilet … which I only did for your sake, seeing as I could very well manage without one.
And it’s true: I could use magic again right now. But every time I do, it weakens me. Do you really think it’s necessary when the situation can be controlled without magic?” Aidan argued.
I really couldn’t argue with him about saving his energy, could I? Did I have a choice? If I made him use magic to make me more comfortable and refused the non-magic solution he had come up with, what would happen if we were attacked? We might die because of what I’d made him do!
As awkward as it would be, I had no arguments to offer in my favor. He was right. It had to be resolved without magic.
Grudgingly I slid out of my sleeping bag and got to my feet.
“Close your eyes,” I told Aidan in a tone that clearly stated ‘this is not a request’.
After making sure he did what I’d told him, I stripped down to my underwear and slid into his sleeping bag. There was so little room that I lay pressed up to his body with my back to his chest.
I silently thanked my lucky stars that he had slipped into his sleeping bag fully clothed, except for his leather jacket, so that I didn’t have to feel his bare skin against mine. Otherwise, I might have lost it then and there.
Suddenly, the thought of his body in the tight black leather uniform did other things to my body … things I really shouldn’t be examining too closely, or … at all!
“Cut it out,” Aidan’s voice rumbled in my ear, his voice sounding strained.
“Cut what out?” I asked dumbfounded, “I’m not doing anything,” I complained.
“I can tell how … turned on … you are right now. You’re practically throwing sex vibes at me. And it’s making it … extremely difficult for me right now.”
“Making what difficult?” I asked instead of denying the way I felt. What sense would it make to lie to him? He could probably read my mind or my general feelings anyway.
“You’re making me lose my focus,” he growled between gritted teeth.
“Well, excuse me,” I replied angrily, “And what the hell are you focusing on right now when we’re supposed to be resting?” I asked.
Honestly, what did he need to concentrate on that was so important? And anyway,
he
had wanted me to hop into his sleeping bag in the first place…