Authors: Rita Mae Brown,Michael Gellatly
Sour Puss (23 page)
“I am not going to hurl. I didn’t eat that much. I was actually sensible.”
This barefaced lie struck both Mrs. Murphy and Tucker speechless.
Mrs. Murphy sat up, stretched, and looked at Simon.
“He ate his raspberry penny candy. Now he’s playing with the cell phone.”
“Wait until she gets billed from Rio de Janiero.”
Pewter’s good humor was restored by imagining another’s distress.
“He can’t use the phone. Simon’s not bright enough to figure it out,”
Tucker said.
“I don’t mean to be ugly, but really, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
“He’ll push buttons. He may not know what he’s doing, but he’ll get something going. He’s pulled out the antenna.”
Pewter was loving this.
“Harry will cut off the service to the phone. Might take her a day to think of it, but she’ll go get another phone and transfer the numbers. Of course, who knows? By that time maybe he will have made a call.”
Mrs. Murphy entered into the spirit of this.
“And when that music plays he’ll throw the cell phone in the air, squeal, and run for his nest.”
Pewter laughed loudly.
The humans, not privy to the animals’ conversation, had been talking about why anyone would kill, but especially someone like Arch, as it was hopeless. How could he dream of winning Harry back by harming Fair?
Of course, Arch didn’t think she’d know he set Fair up.
“Finally, he snapped and figured if he couldn’t have Harry, no one could have her.” BoomBoom felt she’d settled the issue.
“‘Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.’ ” Miranda quoted Romans, Chapter 12, Verse 19.
“The grapes of wrath!”
Pewter piped up.
“Oh, Pewter.”
Mrs. Murphy wrinkled her nose.
“You’re just jealous that you didn’t think of it.”
Pewter again puffed out her fluffy chest.
“Sour puss.”
Dear Reader,
All this study of grapes interested me because birds come to grapes. But really, I would have rather written a book about cultivating catnip. Mother declared that would have limited application.
Maybe. Maybe not. I’m not giving up on my catnip idea. Sooner or later, I’ll get my way. For one thing, I hid her favorite pair of socks. Small revenge, you say. Ha. Imelda Marcos has shoes. Mother has socks. For one thing they are more affordable than a closet full of shoes. So if she sees things my way, I will retrieve the socks.
On May 16, 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court voted 5–4 that laws banning direct shipment of wine to consumers in other states is unconstitutional. Impromptu celebrations filled Virginia. I note here that a Virginian will use any excuse for a party; they are excessively convivial.
All’s well here. Hope your life is full of mice, moles, voles, butterflies, and the occasional inattentive bird.
In Catitude,
Sneaky Pie
Dear Reader,
I just proofread the Cast of Characters and note that my coauthor rearranged things, citing the animals as the most important characters.
Her ego is in a gaseous state, ever-expanding. However, I must get up the second cutting of hay, since a thunderstorm seems more than likely this afternoon. It really is true, you make hay while the sun shines. There’s no time to fix this and off it goes to my wonderful, wry editor, Danielle Perez.
If Sneaky’s done anything else, I won’t know about it until I receive the bound galleys. Too late then.
You know, it’s hell to work with a cat. They really are smarter than we are. Have you ever gotten anyone to feed you, pay your bills, give you the best chair in the house, tell you how beautiful you are, and groom you daily? Me, neither.
Yours,
About the Authors
RITA MAE BROWN
and
SNEAKY PIE BROWN,
a tiger cat rescued from the local ASPCA, have collaborated on fourteen previous Mrs. Murphy mysteries, the most recent being
Cat’s Eyewitness
. They live in Afton, Virginia, with many other rescued animals.
Books by Rita Mae Brown
with Sneaky Pie Brown
WISH YOU WERE HERE
REST IN PIECES
MURDER AT MONTICELLO
PAY DIRT
MURDER, SHE MEOWED
MURDER ON THE PROWL
CAT ON THE SCENT
SNEAKY PIE’S COOKBOOK FOR MYSTERY LOVERS
PAWING THROUGH THE PAST
CLAWS AND EFFECT
CATCH AS CAT CAN
THE TAIL OF THE TIP-OFF
WHISKER OF EVIL
CAT’S EYEWITNESS
Books by Rita Mae Brown
THE HAND THAT CRADLES THE ROCK
SONGS TO A HANDSOME WOMAN
THE PLAIN BROWN RAPPER
RUBYFRUIT JUNGLE
IN HER DAY
SIX OF ONE
SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT
SUDDEN DEATH
HIGH HEARTS
STARTING FROM SCRATCH: A DIFFERENT KIND OF WRITERS’ MANUAL
BINGO
VENUS ENVY
DOLLEY: A NOVEL OF DOLLEY MADISON IN LOVE AND WAR
RIDING SHOTGUN
RITA WILL: A MEMOIR OF A LITERARY RABBLE-ROUSER
LOOSE LIPS
OUTFOXED
HOTSPUR
FULL CRY
SOUR PUSS
A Bantam Book / March 2006
Published by Bantam Dell
A Division of Random House, Inc.
New York, New York
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2006 by American Artists, Inc.
Illustrations copyright © 2006 by Michael Gellatly
Bantam Books is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Brown, Rita Mae.
Sour Puss : a Mrs. Murphy mystery / Rita Mae Brown & Sneaky Pie Brown;
illustrations by Michael Gellatly.
p. cm.
1. Haristeen, Harry (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Murphy, Mrs. (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 3. Women detectives—Virginia—Fiction. 4. Women cat owners—Fiction. 5. Virginia—Fiction. 6. Cats—Fiction. I. Title
PS3552.R698S63 2006
813'.54—dc22 2005053595
Published simultaneously in Canada
eISBN: 978-0-553-90238-9
v3.0