“Things change,” I said in
a hushed tone. “We talked it over and agreed this would be better. Claire’s
never been one to be by herself. She likes to have people around. This would be
too much for her. I’m different; I love the solitude. I like my privacy, and I
like to live alone.”
Billy pulled out his set of
keys, fumbled through them until he found the right one, and then stuck it in
the keyhole. After unlocking the door, he took the key off the ring and handed
it to me. “Here, I guess you might need these.” He shot a look in Cole’s direction
and said, “I won’t have to worry about getting a
midnight
call about a noise in
the woods. Jesse doesn’t scare easily like Claire does.”
Billy’s comment made me
feel good.
Claire would have probably
burned up his phone line with all kinds of crazy stuff while I would have dealt
with the problem myself, instead of admitting helplessness. She has always had
someone to take care of her and never had to make any kind of decisions on her
own, except maybe which dress to wear. She had lived at home with our folks
until she married Carl and now that they were getting a divorce, she had to
have someone to take his place. So she moved back home with Mom. As I look
back, I bet the idea of moving out here to Billy’s house must have scared her
half to death. She would be alone and might actually have to do chores, like
shovel snow, or do her own yard work in the summer, or change a light bulb. Me;
I could do all that. I’ve been on my own since I graduated from high school. I
was the rebel in the family. Mom says I took after my dad. I was proud of that.
He was a good man!
“I think Claire just wants
the man to be in charge. Some women do. Besides, isn’t that the way it should
be?” Cole asked. “The man takes care of the woman. He’s her protector, lover,
and friend.”
So that’s it! That’s been
our problem all along. I knew there was something hiding beneath Cole’s
charming facade. He was one of those men who said one thing, but wanted just
the opposite. He wanted to be the boss. That’s why he deserted me when I needed
him. He knew I would never succumb to being just an ordinary housewife or lover
who would try to satisfy his every need, above all else. He also knew I would
stand up for myself. I would never sit back and let someone push me around. I
had too much power over my life for his comfort. I actually had a brain. I made
my own decisions. I didn’t depend on a man for everything.
“Maybe you and Claire
should hook up. You’d be perfect together. She’s needy, and you’re the
protector. It would be a match made in heaven!”
“What?” Cole was stunned.
“What does that mean?”
“It means,” I said, walking
into the house and taking off my coat, “if you want a woman who is never going
to stand up to you, I ain’t the one. If you think Claire’s such a perfect
candidate for that position, then why don’t you go have a talk with her?”
“Kids, stop fighting,”
Billy said, stepping in between us.
I was quickly getting
agitated and Billy was trying to head off any kind of lovers’ quarrel.
The house had warmed up
nicely and the fire in the fireplace had taken on a soft glow through the glass
doors. A nice bed of coals had developed. I walked over and picked up a log out
of the carrier and lay it on the embers.
“I hope there’s some more
firewood.”
“There’s plenty out back,”
Billy said. “I just hope it’s not rotten.”
“It’ll still burn, won’t
it?”
“Yeah, it’ll burn, but
it’ll burn up fast and it doesn’t make good wood for an all-nighter. I’ll check
it out. If the wood is rotten, we may need to get some more. You never know
when you’ll lose power out here. The gas heat has to have electricity to
operate so you need a backup. We don’t want to freeze this winter, do we?” He
smiled at me in an overdone, loving way, and then winked.
What was that all about? We
weren’t living together. Then it hit me; he was trying to make Cole jealous.
Suddenly, my devilish alter ego took over. I played along. “I think between the
two of us, we can keep this place warm.”
Cole stared in disbelief,
but didn’t say anything. He was at a loss for words. I had struck home. I let
him know right then and there that I could move on. I wasn’t going to die
without his love. I was a real person. I had a life! I didn’t need him as much
as he thought!
All three of us had crossed
the line. Billy pushed Cole; I lied; and Cole had shown his true colors. Things
were definitely going to be different.
“Time out,” Cole barked. “I
came here to tell you something. I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
He walked toward the sofa
with his head bent down. When he looked back up at us, he had an odd look on
his face.
“I got a call from my boss
a little while ago. I don’t go on duty until
midnight
, but he wanted to let
me know in advance that they were looking for you, Jesse. Because of our
relationship, he wanted to make sure I didn’t lose sight of what my job was. He
wanted me to go to your mom’s house and bring you in for questioning. When I
called him back and reported that you weren’t there, he insisted that I find
you. He said he would give me a couple of hours before he sent his men out. I
told him I would take care of it. In the meantime, I called one of my buddies
on the force and found out they’ve come up with an eyewitness that places
someone who fits your description with Mary Keen on the last day that anyone
saw her alive. They didn’t say you were with her, but that you were waiting in
a car parked across the street. The woman gave a description of your Jeep, and
described you right down to your long, red ponytail. The only thing she didn’t
get was the license plate number. She said Mary was in a hurry and wanted to
borrow some money, but she didn’t have any to spare and was on her way to
Florida
. Her
daughter had just had a baby and she was going for a visit. And that was it.
She left, and didn’t know anything about Mary’s death until she got home this
morning. She immediately called the police. And, of course, there’s the watch.
It looks pretty bad, Jesse.”
“Where do we go from here?”
I asked.
“Well, it’s my job to take
you in for questioning. However, something strange happened on my way over
here. I picked up a tail as soon as I got out onto Rt. 33. An unmarked car
followed me until I turned off onto
Bear
Mountain Road
. He’s parked down by the
mailboxes. That’s why you saw me coming up from behind the house when you
arrived. I’ve been out back on that hill behind the garage, watching him
through binoculars. He’s such an idiot. The least he could do would be to pull
off into the woods out of sight. Kind of makes me wonder if his intention was
for me to see him.”
Billy collected his
thoughts. “This ain’t right, Cole. You know it’s not right. You know Jesse
isn’t capable of killing anyone or anything. For Pete’s sake, you’ve had
intimate relations with this woman. You’ve seen her inner soul.”
“That’s why I’m telling you
this. There’s more to it than we know about. The whole thing smells funny and I
don’t like it. I have a job to do, but I refuse to deliberately compromise
people that I know are innocent. I know neither one of you would commit
murder.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you
say that,” I replied. “I was beginning to think you didn’t care about anything
but your job. You might actually have feelings after all. Wow, I’m surprised.”
“How can you say that?”
Cole asked. His face contorted and he looked like he was about to go off. He
glanced over at Billy and said, “Can I have a few minutes alone with Jesse,
please?”
“Sure,” Billy said. “But
make it quick. We have to get our heads straight and do something about this
mess.”
Billy turned, walked out of
the living room, and mumbled something about checking the attic upstairs.
Cole jumped on me the
second Billy was out of the room.
“What’s your problem?” he
asked. “Oh, I know you’re angry about the other day, but I was telling the
truth. I’m a cop and I love my job. I’m not going to apologize for that. So if
my boss tells me I can’t see you, then I can’t see you. I would think that you
would understand. If you really love me like you say you do, then you should
support me. This situation will be over soon, and then we can go back to the
way it was, unless, of course, you don’t want us to have a relationship.”
“What relationship?” I
hissed. “Sex doesn’t qualify as one.”
“We had more than just sex,
and you know it.”
“We might have in the
beginning, but now it’s purely sex. Have you noticed that in the past few weeks
we hardly ever saw each other?”
“Excuse me, but aren’t you
the one who was busy with your job the last couple of times when I called?
You’re the one who kept putting me off.” Cole stepped closer to me. I could
smell the sweet scent of his after-shave. “Let’s quit fighting, Jesse. I want
you in my life.” He leaned over and pressed his lips to mine.
I could feel my emotions
rising. I wanted him. I wanted to feel the way he made me feel, but I knew this
wouldn’t last. Our time had come and gone. I wanted more than he was willing to
give.
“Stop,” I said, stepping
back. “It won’t work, Cole. I need a man who’s going to be by my side all the
time, not someone who’ll be there at his convenience. You can’t give me what I
need. I see that now. It’s over.”
“That’s a load of crap,
Jesse. There’s someone else, isn’t there? Tell me who it is. I know it’s
Billy!” He grabbed me by the arm; his grip firm.
“Let go of my arm, Cole.
You’re hurting me.”
He stepped back and said,
“I’m sorry, Jesse. I don’t know what came over me. I guess I’m just afraid that
I’m losing you.”
“After that little display,
I don’t think I can handle your anger.”
“It’s just as much your
fault as it is mine. I wouldn’t have grabbed you if you hadn’t made me so mad.”
“You’re full of...”
“Shut up, both of you,”
Billy shouted. He walked back into the room. “We need to figure out what to do
about this situation.”
Cole and I quit arguing and
looked at Billy. He was pacing the floor and running his hand through his
loose, long locks of hair.
“We have to come up with a
plan. We need more time.”
“More time for what?” I
asked, putting my thoughts of Cole aside. “The cops want my butt.”
“Remember what the chief
said? The only way to prove you’re innocent is to find the one who’s guilty.
That’s what we have to do.”
“Why should I have to prove
that I’m innocent? I thought it was their job to prove guilt, not the other way
around.”
“Wake up, girl,” Billy
said, looking at me in bewilderment. “Smell the coffee.”
B
y the time it got dark outside, we had come up with a
plan. Cole would take me in for questioning while Billy followed us in his
truck. An attorney friend of Billy’s, Russell Shank, agreed to meet us at the
police station. He would be my lawyer, if I needed one, thus keeping me from
running off at the mouth. I called Mom to make sure everyone was all right
and to check on the flood situation. The eight inches of snow was melting at an
alarming rate. The freeze at night that normally occurs in the mountains this
time of year didn’t appear to be happening. It was still forty-two degrees
outside. That meant, if the temperature didn’t drop soon and stop the thaw, the
South River
would overflow, flooding everyone in its path. The ground at the top
of the mountain, made soft from the melting snow, would turn into mud slides.
Everyone would be in trouble.
“Don’t worry,” Mom assured
me. “The wind is blowing like crazy, and the temperature has dropped down to
thirty-eight degrees. We’re going to be fine. You just do what you have to do
and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
Her calmness disturbed me,
but I didn’t have time to analyze the situation. She appeared to have herself
together. That gave me one less thing to worry about. We had stuff to do. Once
we got the house locked up and my Jeep put in the garage, the three of us
headed out to the Greene County Sheriff’s Department back in Stanardsville.
The roads were almost
clear. The only signs left of the last snowfall were patches here and there.
However, the closer we got to Stanardsville, the stronger the winds became, and
the more snow we saw. As I stepped out of Cole’s Jeep, the temperature felt
much colder than it had been back on the other side of
Charlottesville
.
Good, I thought to myself. I guess I won’t have to worry about Mom being
flooded out.
Our visit to see the
sheriff turned out to be a waste of time. All he had on me was a watch that had
been reported lost and an eyewitness that had given a vague description of me
and my car. I agreed to stand in a lineup if everybody in it had a long, red ponytail.
However, that wasn’t feasible at the time, but the sheriff said he would get
back to me on it. My lawyer got a good laugh out of that one. After several
cups of coffee and a cinnamon bun that tasted like paper, Billy and I, along
with my new best friend, Russ Shank, left the police station.
“Ha! Ha! Those jerks! I
guess we showed them!” I yelled as the three of us walked out to the parking
lot. “They ain’t got nothing on me!” I flipped them the bird.
“Jesse!” Billy grabbed me
by the arm. “What’s the matter with you? Stop acting like an idiot!”
“Hey, it’s dark outside.
Nobody saw me.”
Russ slipped me his card.
He made it no secret that he understood why Billy thought so much of me. “You
are the most delightful woman I have ever met. If you need me, all you have to
do is call, and I’ll be there.”
“Is he single?” I asked
Billy as we pulled out of the parking lot. “He sure did take a liking to me.”
“Don’t let it go to your
head. He’s gay.”
“What a slap in the face,”
I whined. “You could have let me go on with my fantasies. It would have done my
ego a world of good.”
“I think your ego is doing
just fine as it is,” he barked. “In the past two days you’ve flirted with every
man in sight. You act desperate.”
That hurt my feelings.
Tears began to surface. “Maybe I am desperate. I just endured the loss of the
man I love.”
“You haven’t lost Cole.”
Billy tried to stop the ensuing flow of my tears. “I know him. He loves you and
will continue to love you, but only on his own terms. You just have to decide
if you can handle his ways.”
“You mean I have to let him
run my life? I have to let him tell me what to do all the time? He’s a jerk,
and it ain’t going to happen! Besides, he has some anger issues I don’t think I
like.”
“How many times have I told
you that he’s not the right man for you, huh? But you just can’t seem to get
that through your thick skull. Cole needs a woman who is submissive. Believe
me, honey, you’re not that gal. What do you mean by anger issues? You can’t be
serious. Cole never loses his temper, especially when it comes to women. He’s a
lover boy. ”
“I guess that means you
didn’t see him grab my arm back at the house, did you? No, you probably missed
that scene. It wasn’t a pretty sight.”
“Maybe you misunderstood.”
“I don’t think so, but I’ll
be able to tell by tomorrow, when the bruise shows up. I’ll show it to you
then.”
“You’re a tiny person. I
bet you bruise easily. I’m sure he didn’t realize that he had such a grip on
you. Cole’s a good man. He would never deliberately hurt you.”
“You keep saying all this
nice stuff about him. Does that mean that you’re not mad at him anymore?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m
still mad, but it’s hard to give up a friendship that’s been around for so
long.”
“What’s on the agenda?” I
asked, changing the subject.
We had just gotten out onto
Rt. 33 and were about to make the left turn onto Rt. 230.
“First, we’re going to your
mom’s house and check on her, and then we’ll get some groceries. After that,
I’ll take you back to your place. Maybe between the two of us, we can whip up
something to eat. Are we taking the dogs back with us?”
“They’re my responsibility.
I can’t expect Mom to take care of them. That wouldn’t be right.”
“Maybe she wants to have
them around. Perhaps she doesn’t mind taking care of them. Why don’t you ask
her what she wants?”
“I’ll talk to her,” I said.
“Once we get back, I want
to do some research on your computer,” he said. “We need some answers.”
“I just want this to be
over.”
The
South River
was
running high and flowing at racing speed, but had yet to cause any serious
damage. The air temperature had dropped down to thirty-one degrees and would
eventually slow the rushing water once it began to freeze. The high winds had
caused a few trees to topple over, but from what Billy had said, that was to be
expected. The ground had turned into a soggy mess.
Mom was in the kitchen
preparing a ham to be put in the oven.
“Oh, Jesse,” she rushed
over to the front door and gave me a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here. How did the
interrogation go? I was worried.” She reached over and wrapped her arms around
Billy’s waist. “I see you took care of my girl!”
“I’m not going to let
anything happen to her.” He smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Smells
like you’ve been cooking all day.”
Athena and Thor came down
the stairs barking and carrying on like they hadn’t seen me in days. They are
such silly willies.
“Hello, monsters,” I said.
I reached down and patted their heads and rubbed behind each one’s ears.
Dogs love that kind of
attention and these two were no exception. They fell all over themselves.
“You two are crazy dogs.
Okay, enough is enough. You’re slobbering all over me. You know that drives me
crazy.”
“Oh, honey, they’re just
glad to see you,” Mom said. “You probably don’t know this, but every time you
leave they go up to the front window and howl. They miss you.”
“They do?”
After what Mom had just
said, I was embarrassed at how little attention I’d paid to them. I’d been so
self-involved that I’d forgotten the one promise I made to myself when I moved
here. I would worry less about how I feel and more about the people around me.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been living up to that one. But that was going to end.
I would take my dogs with me, give them a good home, and love them the way they
deserved to be loved. Athena and Thor were family, too.
“We just came by to let you
know everything was fine,” I said as we made our way to the kitchen. “The
police wanted to ask me a few questions. It was no big deal.”
“We also wanted to make
sure everybody was all right,” Billy added.
“We’re doing fine,” Mom
replied. “Cole stopped by earlier and helped Claire and I fortify the house.”
She let out a little giggle and went back to her kitchen work. “He and Claire
stacked enough firewood over there by the fireplace to last for days, and then
they went out and checked all around the house. Cole even checked the propane.
He says we have plenty. I told him we have a guy that comes out every month to
check on it, but he insisted. Anyway, between the two of them, we’re as snug as
a bug in a rug. Besides, Cole said that our house was so high off the ground we
shouldn’t have anything to worry about. You know there’s a flash flood warning
out, don’t you?”
“Yes, that’s why we came to
check on you,” Billy said. “I know how things get out here when snow melts and
runs down the mountain.”
“We’re going to be just
fine,” Mom repeated. “What’s your plan?”
“I guess I’ll take the dogs
and we’ll go spend our first night in our new home. We’ll be back tomorrow for
Thanksgiving dinner. How does that sound to you?”
I waited for the fallout. I
knew Mom had become attached to the dogs, but I also knew she would do what she
thought was best, whether she liked it or not. She always did the right thing.
“I’ve been thinking about
that, Jesse. Why don’t you leave them here tonight, since tomorrow’s
Thanksgiving? Then, after dinner, we can all ride over to your place and take
the dogs. You know, just to help them get settled. Moving to a new place can be
traumatic, even for a dog.”
I had to laugh. Mom was
such an old softy.
“If you think that’s what
we should do, then that’s what we’ll do,” I agreed. “Hey, where are Claire and
the kids?”
I just realized that I
didn’t hear any noise upstairs, and Claire had yet to show her face.
“Ah, the kids are in bed
for the night and Claire went up to Cole’s house for a little while. He’s going
to teach her how to use a computer.”
I could tell Mom was trying
to hide something from me, but I didn’t say a word. I would wait for her to
come clean.
“You know, Jesse,” Mom
said, softly, “ever since you got me interested in that computer of yours, I’ve
learned a few things. And now that you’re going to be gone, I think Claire and
I should get one of our own. Cole has even offered to help us hook it up and
get online.”
I smelled something funny.
She had worked too hard to spare my feelings, not to be hiding something.
“Honey, I’ve been meaning
to talk to you about Cole.” She hesitated a minute. “I ...”
“Mom, it’s over between me
and Cole. Don’t worry about it.”
The strange part about the
whole situation was that my pain over losing the trust I once had in Cole was
no longer so intense. It didn’t take long for me to wonder if the love I had
felt for him might have just been lust. I didn’t care about Cole. He could do
what he wanted. We were done. I kept telling myself that.
“Maybe we’d better get
moving. We still have to stop at the grocery store,” Billy said.
“If you’re hungry, I can
fix you something real quick,” Mom offered.
“No, but thank you anyway.
I need to go get some groceries. We’ll pick up something to eat while we’re at
the store. We still have some work to do. We’ll be back in the morning.”
“Then I guess we’ll see you
around
noon
. Bring your appetites!”
As we waved to Mom, I
couldn’t help but wonder what Mom really thought about this whole situation.
She probably thought we were all nuts.
We were almost ready to
make our turn at the end of
South River
Road
before Billy or I had spoken a
word.
“That was a strange
conversation,” Billy finally said. “Did I miss something? What’s going on?”
“Cole just got over me real
fast, that’s all.” I whispered under my breath, “He’s such a loser. What did I
ever see in him?”
“I tried to warn you, but
would you listen to me?”
“Yes, you did. But that
doesn’t help the empty feeling I have inside. How could I have been so wrong?”
I wanted to blast myself for being such an idiot, but it was too late for that.
Things change, and I had to change with them.
“We all make mistakes.
Don’t let it get you down. You’ll find someone else. He wasn’t good for you,
Jesse.”
“I don’t know about you
sometimes, Billy. One minute you’re telling me that Cole’s not the right man
for me, and in the next breath, you tell me that he loves me. Make up your
mind. You can’t have it both ways.”
“Look, you have to make
your own decision. Don’t listen to me. If you want to be with Cole, go be with
him. If you don’t want to be with him, there are plenty of other guys out there
that would love to be your boyfriend. It’s up to you.”
“Remember that old saying
about there being plenty of fish in the sea? Well, it isn’t true—the best ones
are married, the good ones are taken, and the rest you don’t want to go near.
Believe me, I’ve been there.”