Southern Hearts (Southern Love Series) (9 page)

"Not so fast." He grabbed her arm.
"You're my inspiration and my heart. When I think of Farrah Rue, all I want
to do is write these damn love songs because you are the melody."

"I can't be with you," she said without
batting an eye. "Even if you break up with her, I cannot be with you, and
I won't."

"You're lying," he said. Austin wasn't hearing
her. "Tell me when you look at me that you don't see us together. Tell me
I don't make you happy." He reached up and wiped away her tears. For the
first time ever, she flinched when he touched her.

"I won't lie and say that you don't make me
happy," she said, touching the side of his face.

"I'm not him, Farrah, and I could never hurt you
the way he hurt you," he said softly. He pulled her to him and hugged her
so tightly that he could feel her heartbeat. "Please, baby, tear down
those barriers and allow me in."

"I'm scared, Austin, that this is all a
dream!" she cried. "I'm scared that I'm going to be hurt all over

again—if not physically, then emotionally."

"I love you, baby," he said, bending down to
look into her eyes. "I could never hurt you."

"I love you too," she said before kissing him.

"I'm going to end it with Rebecca when I get back
to Texas," he said as he stroked her back up and down.

"Austin, did you hear me?" Rebecca waved the dish
in front of him. "We picked out this dish design for the wedding
reception, but I told my mother I wanted your opinion."

"Sorry, Becca, my mind was on something else," he
said as he continued to stare off into space.

"I bet," Rebecca replied.

"What did you just say?" he said, looking at her.

"I said, which pattern do you like?" She held up
two dishes for him to choose from.

"Neither." Clearing his throat, he looked at
Rebecca. His throat was becoming dry and his palms were sweaty. "Rebecca,
I don't think us getting married right now is a great idea."

"You're not doing this to me. Everything has been paid
for, including the catering and the venue plus the cake, and the invitations
have been sent out." Rebecca shook her head vehemently. "No, you're
not doing this.

Whatever the problem is, we need to fix it in thirty
days."

"Rebecca, I'm not in love with you," he said
softly. "A lot of things have changed, we have changed. Our dreams and
hopes for the future are not the same. We don't want the same things
anymore."

"You don't love me?" she cried.

"I love you as a friend," he answered. He watched
as Rebecca picked up a sheet of paper and started checking off items.

"Baby, I have been looking at the seating
arrangements; I'm thinking we can put your uncle Bobby at table three."
Rebecca seemed unfazed by Austin's news of no wedding as she continued to
ramble on about seating arrangements.

"There is no wedding," Austin repeated firmly.

"Pastor Carmichael agreed to marry us," she said
as she continued to go over the wedding checklist.

"Rebecca!" he shouted, which caused her to jump.
"Look me in my damn eyes! There will be no damn wedding, not to you.
Throughout this whole wedding fiasco, I gradually learned that you're not the
woman for me."

"How did I lose you? We were happy!" she
screamed, picking up a vase and throwing it at him. "Is it her?"

No one knew that he'd been with Farrah except his cousins,
and he was sure that they wouldn't tell anyone.

"Who?" he said as he dodged the flying vase.

"Farrah Rue!" she snapped.

When Austin didn't reply, she continued, "My mother
said she saw you guys arguing, not to mention the way you looked at her."

Austin knew there would be casualties, but his mother
always taught him to tell the truth no matter whose feelings were going to be
hurt. "Yes, I'm in love with her."

Rebecca picked up another vase filled with pink roses and
threw it at him as hard as she could. "I will ruin you and her."

"Stay away from Farrah, Rebecca. You have twenty-four
hours to leave the McBride Ranch," he said as he walked out the bedroom
door. Another vase was thrown at him. The sound of glass shattering was
deafening.

Austin walked out of the house and to his pickup truck. He
needed to see the woman who loved everything about him. If someone asked him
why she loved him, he could think of so many things to say. Their love flowed
through his veins; her love was the life support that helped him breathe. She
was all he needed.

He drove to Farrah's house. He'd felt like a weight was
lifted off him when he told Rebecca the wedding was off. After parking his
truck, he jumped out and practically ran up to Farrah's door and knocked on it
repeatedly until she opened it.

"I did it," he said, picking her up in his arms
and twirling her around. "We can be together."

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Relieved. It was so hard to be with Rebecca,
especially when I fell in love with you." He picked her up and twirled her
around again.

"I don't want you to feel like you did it for
me," she said, sitting down on the sofa. "I wanted you to do it because
it was what you wanted?"

Austin got on his knees in front of her. "Listen to me
when I say that you make me whole, and I can't think of you not in my
life." He paused and reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring that he
had purchased while they were in New York. "I know that you're not ready
to get married, but this is a symbol of my love and a promise to marry you in
front of family and friends, when you are ready," he said, sliding the
ring onto her finger.

"I can't." She took the ring off her finger and
handed it back to him.

"I know that deep down inside, you want to be with
me," he said.

"You just ended your engagement to another and now
you're giving me a ring," she said and stood up.

"It's a promise ring, Farrah," he said. Austin
didn't know what he was doing wrong with her. "You have to learn how to
love someone else, or at least allow someone to love you, baby."

"Learn to love someone else?" she said, looking
at him in disbelief. "I do love you. Let me guess. I'm supposed to be
happy because you just broke up with your fiancée. Well, I can't be happy,
because she is at home and hurt."

"I'm going to leave," he said, throwing his hands
up in surrender. "I think I need to give you a few days to get used to the
fact that I'm no longer with Rebecca." He put the ring on the table before
walking out of the house.

***

Farrah closed her eyes as she listened to Austin's truck
pull away from her house. She wiped at the tear that rolled down her cheek. She
didn't know what was wrong with her. She finally had a good man who could love
her like she needed, but something was keeping her from loving him.

She didn't want to be hurt all over again. She knew that he
loved her, because everything felt right between them. Austin was the one who
could change her life. He was everything that she ever needed. A part of her wanted
to spend every day loving him. Austin was the only man she wanted to kiss or
make love to. But her life was filled with hurt and pain. Her father had
claimed to love her mother, too, before taking her life. Sometimes the bad
outweighed the good.

"I don't want to love a man who is going to hurt me in
the end," she said as she lay on the sofa. Farrah tried to go to sleep,
but her mind drifted to thoughts of Austin.

Austin threw the phone at the wall in anger. For the sixth
time in four days, he'd tried and failed to contact Farrah. Her cell phone went
straight to voicemail, and every time he called Southern Rose, she was either
busy or out running errands. He even had Shane go to check on her, which
sucked, because Shane was always so flippant about Farrah.

"Mr. McBride, Rebecca is here to see you," Megan
said as she tapped on his office door.

Austin could feel a headache coming, he massaged his
temples to relieved stress, and he didn't want to hear anything that Rebecca
had to say. She'd said enough when she left the ranch threatening to out his
cheating with Farrah.

"What made you come all the way back to Texas?" he
said without looking at her.

Rebecca looked around the office. "You didn't move
your whore into the house."

"God, Rebecca, is that why you brought your ass here?"
Yeah, he could definitely feel a headache approaching.

"Actually, I just brought back a box of items you left
in my condo in New York," she said, smirking as she touched a picture on
the bookshelf.

"Okay. You could have shipped it to me."

"Also, I wanted to give you this as an early wedding
gift, but you couldn't keep your dick in your pants."

Rebecca tossed a pregnancy test at him.

Austin caught the test and read the word
pregnant
.
Looking at Rebecca and back at the pregnancy test, he said tonelessly,
"Okay. You're having a baby."

"Where is the excitement? You always wanted to have
babies."

"Not with you, Rebecca. You made me realize that
you're not mother material."

"We're going to deny our unborn child the benefit of a
two-parent household because of her?" Rebecca whined in a high pitched
voice.

"Leave, Rebecca!"

Austin sat back in his chair and thought about how his
mother would be ashamed of him. He wanted to be happy that he was finally
having a child, but he wished to God that Farrah was the one carrying his baby.
He wished that he could marry Farrah and live happily ever after. But he knew
that was something that was neither here nor there. If his mother and father
were alive, he knew they would tell him to do the right thing and stay with
Rebecca and their unborn child.

Grabbing a pen and paper, he wrote a letter to Farrah. He
told her how much he missed her and the way she felt in his arms. It hurt him
to death to write that letter to Farrah, but he knew it must be done.

***

"I deserve love."

Farrah recited the words to herself as she drove to McBride
Ranch.

"I deserve love."

For two weeks, she had ignored any and all communication
from Austin because she knew where his heart was. He wanted to marry her and
have a future. She wanted the same thing, but she had allowed her first
unhealthy relationship to keep her from being happy. Until today, Farrah had
blamed herself for the toxic relationship she'd had with Frederick.

Not any longer.

She was not at fault for his behavior and what had
happened. And most of all, she had finally forgiven herself for staying with
Frederick. Before Austin came into her life, she felt unlovable and unworthy.
But Farrah had reflected on herself for two weeks. She had gotten in touch with
herself again and realized that she had to love herself.

Farrah's past had had her questioning what love was, and
now she knew what love was and that what she had with Austin was love that only
came once in a lifetime.

Pulling her car into the circular driveway, she parked it
next to Austin's truck. She checked her reflection in the mirror before getting
out. Taking a deep breath, she got out of the car, walked to the door, and rang
the bell.

Austin appeared at the door, wearing only jeans. "Hey,
Farrah," he said, walking out the door.

Farrah felt like it was strange that he didn't invite her
in.

"I know that I haven't communicated with you in a few
weeks, but I needed to get my priorities in order," she said.

"Farrah… I decided that I'm going to go through with the
wedding to Rebecca," Austin said.

Farrah was blindsided. "What?" she said.

"I'm going to marry Rebecca," he repeated.

"There is something else you're not telling me,"
she said, looking at him. "What is it?"

"She is pregnant with my child," he said.

"Do you love her?" she asked.

"No," he replied.

"Then you don't have to get married. You could share
joint custody," Farrah said as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"No," he said, moving away from her. "A
child deserves to be raised in a normal household, a two-parent household, with
two caring and loving parents."

"Are you serious?" she said.

Farrah felt like someone had punched her in the stomach.
This couldn't be happening, not when she had trusted him and allowed herself to
be happy for one second.

"I love you," she said.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You are sorry?" She shook her head and laughed.
She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. "I could stand
here and repeat every word you told me in the last month, but I won't. I was
stupid and foolish to think that we could be together."

"Farrah, do you think this doesn't hurt me, too?"
he shouted. "This is killing me!"

"What do you think you're doing to me right now?"
She was trying to keep it together. "You made me feel like the love we had
would never end, but I knew you were going to hurt me. It was only a matter of
time."

She walked back to her car with Austin on her heels. He
turned her around to face him. "I'm not perfect," he said through
clenched teeth.

Farrah laughed bitterly. "I didn't care, don't you
understand that? I loved you for you." She shoved him in his chest.
"I thought we had something special!"

"Farrah, please."

"Farrah, what? Let me guess, Austin still wants to
have his cake and eat it too. Newsflash, Austin McBride: stay out of my
life!" she screamed as she jumped in her car and sped away from him.

Austin watched as Farrah drove off. He couldn't bear to see
her like that. Jumping in his truck, he went after her. He broke all the
backwoods speed limits to catch up to Farrah. He honked his horn and flashed
his lights until she pulled over.

"Let's talk," he said, pulling her car door open.

"Nothing to talk about. We said what we had to say. Go
home and finish planning your wedding."

She tried to wrench her door out of his grasp, but he
reached through and yanked the keys out of the ignition.

"Give those back!"

"Come with me to the lake," he begged.

"Give me back my keys and I'll follow you," she
said.

"Promise?"

Farrah paused, then nodded slowly.

Austin held the keys out, and she snatched them from him.

An hour later, he sat next to her on the sofa at the lake
house. Her body was tense, and she refused to let him touch her. He didn't
blame her. He loved her but had to let her go.

"I'm going to move on with my life," Farrah said
calmly. "I'm not going to dwell on the decision you made. You picked her.
All I want is for you to be happy." She stood up.

He wanted to wrap her in his arms. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said. "What's done is done.
We can't turn back the hands of time. We both got caught up and forgot that you
had a fiancée. This was my wakeup call. I shouldn't have let myself have
feelings for you."

Farrah averted her gaze and refused to look him in the eye.

"At the end of the day," she said, "I was
wrong for allowing myself to love. You were my beautiful mistake, and I have to
get over you eventually." Farrah pulled out the ring he had given her and
set it on the table.

"Goodbye, Austin."

She gathered her keys and left.

A part of Austin wanted her to turn back and look at him,
but she didn't. He watched her get into her car and drive away. He knew she was
gone for good this time. It had been a year since he'd cried, but now, as he
looked down to see the promise ring he had given Farrah on the table, he wiped
the tears that streamed down his face.

***

"Have you seen her?" Austin asked. It had been
exactly a week since he'd last seen Farrah at the lake house.

A few days ago, he'd received a check in the mail from the
deposit he gave her for catering the wedding. His dreams were filled with her
laughing and smiling. He missed her so much that sometimes he called her
voicemail just to hear her voice.

"Yeah, she is heartbroken but strong enough to move
on," Shane said. "She put her trust in you only to get her heart
broken."

"Rebecca is pregnant," Austin replied. "What
am I supposed to do? I won't allow my child to grow up with a single
mother."

"I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. If
you're happy, I'm happy," Shane said.

"I have a request. I know she leaves work late, but
her staff leaves early. Could you watch out for her?" he asked.

"You didn't even have to ask." Shane tilted his
hat as he got up.

"Watch her and that's it," Austin said. He didn't
want his cousin to get any wrong ideas about Farrah.

"Why do you care? You're getting married,
remember," Shane said towards the door.

"Goddammit!" Austin said as he got up from his
desk. He followed Shane out the door. "What's your

problem?"

"Farrah loved you and you hurt her. Actually, you
discarded her like a piece of trash," Shane said.

"I'm still trying to make sense of this." Austin
groaned.

"Any man who comes into Farrah's life will be the
luckiest man in the world," Shane said.

Austin couldn't picture another man spoiling and loving
Farrah. He couldn't bear the thought of another man making her smile or giving
her a child. He just couldn't.

***

"She is almost out of the picture," Rebecca
said gleefully.

"It's not totally over yet." Her mother
laughed. "She is still in Dallas. Austin loves her and not you."

"What can I do? She is not going to leave
Dallas!" Rebecca whined.

"Let me handle it; you just work on getting
pregnant," Gwen said as she looked at pictures the private investigator
had given her. When Rebecca walked out of the room, Gwen picked up the phone
and dialed a gossip hotline. "I have a tip. Country singer Austin McBride
cheated on his fiancée with the wedding caterer."

"Do you have pictures?" the person asked.

"I can email them to you," Gwen said.

Maybe shedding some light on the relationship Austin had
with Farrah would send the poor girl running away.

***

"Good morning, Dallas! Last night, we had some
breaking news in the entertainment industry: "Country singer Austin
McBride was caught with his pants down with another chick who was not his wife!
The gossip world is on fire trying to see if the million dollar wedding is
still on. We're told the mystery woman is Farrah Rue, who owns a restaurant
here in Dallas called Southern Rose."

"Shit!" Farrah scrambled out of bed and rushed to
the bathroom and collapsed in front of the toilet, vomiting until she dry
heaved. Her worst nightmare was coming true the news of her affair had come to
light.

Picking up her phone, she dialed the restaurant and
informed the new chef she hired to handle the restaurant until she could
return.

Farrah sat on the cold tile, her mother's voice echoing in
her head, telling her not to cry because it was her fault. It was her
wrong-doing that caused her so much pain. She allowed herself to get caught up
in the whirlwind of love and she was the one who had a broken heart.
Don't
cry anymore,
she told herself.

Farrah's phone was ringing off the hook with entertainment
reporters who wanted a comment. She had people knocking on her door. She lay in
bed trying to block out the day.

***

"We're in panic mode, Austin," Samuel Braxton
said as he paced the floor in his office. "We can blame this on
misjudgment; you are very in love with your soon-to-be wife Rebecca."

"I'm in love with Farrah Rue. The only reason I'm
staying with Rebecca is because she told me she is pregnant."

"Has she confirmed the pregnancy?"

"Not in public."

"What's your plan?"

"Sam, it's taken everything out of me to not run to
Farrah and hold her. I know she is scared."

"Think about yourself, Austin, the empire you built.
You don't want to be labeled as a cheater. The female fan base won't accept
that, it won't fly with them."

"What do you want me to say and do? Lie and say that I
don't love this woman?"

"Yes," Samuel said. "First, we're going to
pay Ms. Rue to keep her mouth shut. Second, you're going to do interviews
announcing your love for Rebecca and tell them that you were just suffering
from pre-wedding jitters. Now, shake your head yes."

Austin reluctantly nodded. "Hire a PR person for
Farrah."

Samuel groaned. "Not Farrah, Austin. You need to
address her as Ms. Rue, not Farrah."

"Help Farrah. I'll pay for the PR person," Austin
said before walking out of Samuel's office.

***

"Home wrecker!"

"Slut!"

"Whore!"

For the past week, Farrah had been bombarded with strangers
and media people taking shots at her. Maybe she deserved everything she got.
She knew what was at stake when she was romping in the sack with Austin. There
were personal pictures of her posted online, and photos of her cuddling with
Austin had gone public on entertainment shows. Her health and her business were
suffering. Customers stopped coming to her restaurant; Farrah had to lay off
employees because business became slow.