Authors: Crystal Smith
“
Oh Saraaaa what did you get yoursssself into?” Sara splashed some water on her face. After a few minutes she opened the door, there was soft music playing in the background. Candles lit and placed throughout the room. The soft beige carpet gave with each step. The comforter a dark shade of red was soft looking and she had to touch it. She turned and looked around the room only to see Jade watching her from the corner. Heat swelled at her cheeks as she realized she was doing more of a caressing of the bed than feeling it.
Sara took a deep breath as she watched Jade slowly make his way to her. “
What is your deal, it’s not like this is your first time, or first time with him. Get it together.” Jade could hear her mumbling something but didn’t take his eyes off hers and didn’t question what it was either.
He stood there standing in front of her for a moment. He felt a quiver go through her when he slowly placed his hands on her shoulders.
Sara just stood there. Frozen. She didn’t know what to do or how to act. She was more nervous this time than she had ever been around him. Jade slowly and lightly moved his hands down her arms and back to her shoulders. “Sara look at me.” Jade was tender with his words. Sara finally braved it and raised her eyes to meet his. “I love you.” And then he kissed her. Tender, gentle and slow.
When he felt Sara
’s hand touch his back he gripped her arms a little tight only to lead her into movement. He began dancing with her while never letting his lips loose contact with hers. He slowly moved his right hand in her left hand and gripped it gently. Pulling his head back he gazed into her eyes as they danced. Gently he pushed her back and dipped her down and around.
Taking in the appearance of her breast urging toward him as she arched her back. Remembering and learning the look in her eyes when their gaze met. Slowly they moved their bodies to the music. Jade slipped his hands under her t shirt and
caressed her back in a way that made Sara respond with quivers and goose bumps. If it would have been possible her toes would of curled under.
Slowly he pulled her t shirt up and she raised her arms to allow him to remove the clothing. When the t
shirt hit the floor it wasn’t but one gentle but quick motion and her bra followed shortly behind it. He teased and taunted her nipples until she could feel places tingle everywhere.
“
Jade,, please, now.”
Jade didn
’t say a word. He danced her backwards until her back was pressing against the wall. He kissed his way down from her neck to her breast to her navel to the tiny button that was keeping her jeans in his way of giving her the release she was about to beg for.
Just as quick a
s before with her bra, her jeans and panties were at her ankles and she was stepping out of them. When there was nothing left to hinder his ability to do what he loved to do, he parted the curls that blocked her heat, and mouthed it tenderly. Circling with his tongue and sucking until she grasped and moaned and quivered from her head to her toes.
Her knees wobbled and she didn
’t think she was going to be able to stand any longer. Jade grabbed her waist, steadying her. When she finally could feel her legs she returned the favor. Just before Jade felt his release come, he pulled away, reached down, grabbed her, pulled her up and then picking her up.
Sara wrapped her legs around his waist and with one quick movement he was in her. Her back
again against the wall, as he moved thrust after thrust in a circular motion and with the beat of the music that still played.
He danced his way with Sara still encircling him with her legs, kissing her chest, until they reached the bed. He laid
her down, and the thrust became more forceful, the moaning became louder and then both of them reached their climax and lay in each other’s arms. Sara rested her head on his chest after they repositioned.
It couldn
’t have been longer than just a few minutes and Jade could hear a faint snore. “Really, wow, what a night.” Jade laid there smiling as he ran his fingers over and over through Sara’s hair. Finally sleep came for him.
Chapter 8
Jade awoke earlier than he half had expected to. He was careful not to move too quickly. He didn’t want to wake Sara. And then it hit him again. “My wife. I’m married!” Jade allowed a tender smile grace his lips. He eased himself out from her hold and went to shower. When he returned he was surprised to see Sara laying there rubbing her eyes. He walked to the bed, dressed the same as he was when he got out of bed and crawled in next to her.
He leaned over and kissed her lips tenderly. Sara
’s eyes bolted open. Jade drew his head back to study the expression that was on her face. “What is it? Are you going to be sick again?”
“
No, I,, oh my god, what did we do? Please tell me I was dreaming and it didn’t really happen.”
Jade was stunned. He couldn
’t believe he was hearing what he was. Sure it wasn’t quite the picture perfect wedding that he knows every woman dreams of but it was real. He loved her, she loved him, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
“
It was real. Sara what’s wrong?”
“
Oh my God!”
Sara jumped off from the bed and began dressing quickly. “
Oh my god, what are we going to do? We can get an annulment. That’s what we can do.”
“
Sara what the hell are you talking about? And I have no intentions on getting an annulment. I don’t believe we made a mistake. You wanted this to. You told me so last night before you passed out.”
“
I was drunk. We gotta go. We gotta find that judge.”
Jade sat there for a few minutes trying to shake the words he was hearing. What
was her problem? Had he really read her that wrong? No, that’s impossible. She said she loved him. He heard her say it over and over again.
“
Sara?” Jade looked at her questioning her waiting for him to even make some kind of gesture or say something indicating she was listening to him. She never looked in his direction, just finished dressing. He stood and dressed feeling strange, in disbelief, and hurting all at the same time. It was like a nightmare but the knot in his chest was telling him it was no dream causing him to become furious with anger. Again he looked in her direction but got no response. “I’ll meet you in the truck when you’re ready.” And with that said, Sara heard the door slam shut.
She was surprised by the upset
that the sound of the door slamming was causing her chest to feel. Her eyes began to burn from tears fighting their way out. She had never hurt anyone the way she had hurt Jade just then. It wasn’t a feeling she cared to ever feel again. She wanted it to disappear. But the only way to make that happen would be to take back the way she had just panicked. It wasn’t the thought of being married to Jade that bothered her. What bothered her was the disappoint she feared she would see in his eyes one day for marrying her.
After sitting there doing her best to pull herself together, she bravely walked outside and really expected to see Jade long gone. Jade sat there in his truck resting his head in his hands. Sara stood there briefly until Jade rai
sed his head and seen her standing there.
She walked slowly to the truck and got in. Jade reached down and started the truck and took off. The trip home wasn
’t nearly as fun, exciting, and comfortable as the trip into town. Not a word was spoken between the two of them.
When they reached the house, Jade got out, and went straight for the barn. Sara didn
’t say a word. She wanted to run up to him, and make him talk to her but she was too afraid the look in his eyes and the pain inside them would be the death of her.
Sara showered and went downstairs. The house was lonely feeling. She hadn
’t felt this way here before. She knew exactly what the cause of it all was to. Her. She looked out the window just hoping to get a glimpse of Jade. Nothing. She was by herself now. Everything had been so perfect, and now once again because of alcohol, she felt like a fool and her heart damaged to the point that probably would never heal.
She cooked lunch, waited patiently for Jade t
o come in but again, nothing. She cleaned house, watched a couple of movies, cooked supper, and again sat in front of the T. V. waiting for just one look at him.
Sara wanted to talk to her Mom so bad and tell her what a mistake she had made. If s
he wouldn’t have panicked the way she did, right now her life would be more than great. She would be in the arms of the man that loved her. Than man that she now knew she couldn’t live without. The man that didn’t care what kind of history had left such a tragic mark on her. Her man.
They had decided that because of Davis being a cop and all, and because with today
’s technology, there would be no contact until the time was right. Sara understood the reasoning for it, but it was hard not to have anyone to talk to right now. To give her the advice she so desperately needed. How was she going to fix this mess she made? Laying on the couch and falling asleep was not what she had planned but was exactly what happened.
Thunder roared in the ba
ck ground. Sara still drowsy from being awoken earlier than her body wanted rubbed at her eyes. Thunder again, and the brightest flash of lightening Sara had ever seen hit. Sara jumped up from the couch running to the window, the wind was howling, pushing the tree tops around as if they were just a leaf floating through a summer’s breeze. Rain flooded the ground and was coming down hard. The lightening was brighter and getting closer and closer by the minute.
She ran into the kitchen looking fo
r Jade. She looked at his untouched plate and realized he still hadn’t made it in yet. “Where is that damn man in this?” Bravery was not her strong suit when it came to storms. But for Jade, there was something deeper pushing her to go. She ran and threw on a rain coat and pulled on some old boots that belonged to Emmy Jean.
Sara ran harder than she had ever ran before. He must still be in the barn. Reaching the barn was a relief. She fought to close the doors behind her. Taking a step back
and looking at herself it looked as if she just simply dove into the pool and then came strutting out to the barn. The wind pushed the hood off her coat, water splattered against her as she ran. There wasn’t a dry spot left on her.
Sara turned to see Jade standing there. Finally, he was ok. They were both ok. Relief sunk in and she allowed a smile to show. As if it was completely natural. Her reason for existence all together now was safe and standing in front o
f her.
Jade turned back around and continued to work in one of the stalls. Sara knew he didn
’t want to see her, he didn’t want to talk to her, at this point it was as if he didn’t want anything to do with her.
“
Are you going to talk to me at all?”
“
Sure, what would you like to talk about?” The sarcasm in his voice said it all. She knew exactly what those words transcribed would say. Sure, you broke my heart, and now you wanna talk, go to hell.
“
Jade, I’m sorry.”
“
What’s there to be sorry about?”
“
You know what I’m talking about.”
“
No, really I don’t, I’m kinda busy if you haven’t noticed, so why don’t we just end this little game of yours, you win, it’s over, you have no reason to be sorry.”
“
Jade, I wasn’t playing any kind of game. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was supposed to happen. I would take it back if I could. You have to believe me.”
“
Funny you say that. I do believe you’d take it all back. But you know, all of it isn’t yours to take. So now, you’ve said it. You would take it back, you’re sorry, anything else?”
“
Yes there is, would you look at me?” But he didn’t. He stood there, with his back to her, and continued to do what he was already doing. “I said would you look at me?”
“
I did look at you Sara. I opened my eyes, my heart, body and soul to you. You took pieces here and there and did what you wanted to do with them. And now what do you want me to do? Say everything is ok. Tell you how you’re right and I’m wrong. Let you know how I’m not mad, I’m not hurt, I’m not fighting right now to take you in my arms and try my hardest to make you change your mind. Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry, I can’t do that. Now as I said before, I’m busy.”
Sara couldn
’t speak. She stood there watching him fight to keep from losing it. She didn’t know what else to say. She wanted him to take her in his arms, make her pride go away and turn everything around the way it should have been. Maybe that was it. Maybe that is what she needed to do. Walk right up to him and kiss him and make him hold her. Make him make her feel safe and the feeling everything else around them didn’t matter. But she didn’t, she couldn’t make herself move in his direction. Instead, she felt her head drop and she left him standing there.
Making her way back to the house wasn
’t exactly easy either. When she finally reached it, she was crying. Her heart was burning. Just like that he had shut her life completely down. There was nothing left for her. He was never going to forgive her. She would never have her best friend back, her security, her husband, her life was over and there was no going back.
Feeling as if there was nothing left for her t
o do, she did the one thing she knew how to. Run. She through her clothes and belongings into a suit case and sat down to right him one last good bye.
Dear Jade,
I’m sorry I didn’t react the way I should have this morning. When I said I would take it all back if I could I didn’t mean the way it sounded. I meant I would take back my panicking usual self. I don’t regret anything that has happened between us. You have made my life have a whole new meaning. You made me feel more passion, love, and trust in the past few months than I have felt in my life. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. If I could take that back I would. I wanted to tell you this when I came to find you tonight, but I didn’t know how. When I said I love you, I truly meant it. When I said I do, I loved it. Please forgive me. I don’t know how to make this better for you now. I don’t want you spending your days working, not even coming into eat because I am here. I’m sorry I have to borrow the truck. I will have it returned when I get to where ever it is I’m going. I’m not going home, I just need some time to myself. And Jade, thank you for everything.
Love,
Sara