Space in His Heart (19 page)

“Okay, I
promise. Absolutely nothing will change this, Jo. We will be
together on Friday.”

He’d cut in on
her conversations with this guy before.

“
I’m not
worried about what’s going to happen to us.” He heard the soft note
in her voice. “I’ll be home for good in February and this will all
be behind us. I miss you so much and I know I
’ll
love whatever you got me.” She paused
again, then laughed. That mysterious, wondrous laugh. “You seem
very excited about this gift, Jo. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll
love it. No one in the whole world understands me like
you.”

What the hell was he thinking?
That a girl like Jessica Marlowe wouldn’t be
involved with someone? Why didn’t she just tell him that? It would
have saved him a trip across the Space Center. And the hours he had
wasted thinking about her, messing up the order in his mind.
Without making a sound, he turned and headed back down the hallway.
He barely acknowledged the pretty receptionist’s
goodbye.

Chapter
Fourteen

The
following week, Jessica sipped a glass of Chardonnay and inhaled
the salty ocean air that permeated the Driftwood. Nestled among the
cluster of casual bars and restaurants at the end of Cocoa Beach
Pier, the place puls
ed
with NASA and Cape employees who’d planted themselves
around long wooden tables laden with draft beer and
popcorn.

Along the back
wall, the Public Affairs department joined their spouses and dates,
toasting their own victory and enjoying a private celebration of
the news they had received. But Jessica wasn’t celebrating like she
should.

On the
contrary, the news from L.A. and her impending trip home had both
filled her with dread instead of glee.

The day before,
she’d had her long-awaited conversation with Tony Palermo and made
a little, but not enough, progress. He seemed bewildered by her
belief that Carla Drake had been aware of the NASA rumors and was
way too defensive of his golden girl. He only agreed to look into
the matter and urged Jessica to consider the Emerging Technologies
position.

Escaping
to Boston at least eliminated the task of telling Deke that Sydney
Lynn Lancaster had agreed to have him escort her to the premiere
of
Lost
Hero.
The media would be
out in full force for the premiere and the result would be
international coverage for Deke Stockard and NASA.

She absolutely
dreaded his response.

“So?”
With an unmistakable twinkle in her blue eyes, Wendy Rosen
leaned over to Jess to ask the inevitable question. “When are you
going to tell Deke the news?”

Stuart’s
longneck froze mid-sip in anticipation of the answer, but Jessica
feigned surprise. “Is it
my
job?
Sorry. I’m leaving on Sunday afternoon.” Pointing to Stuart, she
said, “Your husband may have the pleasure.”

“Hey, it’s your
coup, Jess,” Stuart insisted. “You should have the honors.”

Shaking her
head, Jessica disagreed. “No way. It was the Hollywood contingent.
I didn’t convince Sydney Lynn to accept the offer. They did.” She
leaned back in her chair. “You tell him on Monday.”

Wendy looked
across the bar to the Driftwood entrance, then grinned at her
husband. “Or you can both tell him right now.”

Jessica’s gaze
followed Wendy’s. A breath caught in her throat as she locked on
Deke’s deep and intense gaze. Her stomach flipped at the sight of
him, but within seconds, she composed herself and shot a glare at
Stuart.

“A
coincidence?”

“I couldn’t
wait to share our good news.” He smiled and waved at Deke who made
his way, along with Debbie and Jeff Clark, to their table.

Jessica let the
rush settle before she turned directly to Deke, ready to meet the
challenge head on. No one, including Deke Stockard, would know the
thumping in her heart was drowning out the pounding repetitive
chorus of Cher singing “Believe” in the background.

He had been out
of sight in Houston for the past few days, but not off her mind.
The peaceful truce they’d reached on the trip to New York had
melted into far too many unprofessional fantasies. At her quietest,
most secret moments, Jessica admitted to herself that she’d
developed a full-blown crush on the man. She had to hide it. From
him and from anyone else.

He ran
his hand through his hair as he approached with Jeff and Debbie. As
always, the sight of him lit a fire in her stomach
…
and lower. Would kissing him in
the sand have the same effect as the snow? Desire warred with her
conscience
,
and deep in
her heart, she knew that desire could win.

Deke pulled a
chair from the next table, turned it around and leaned on the back,
his favorite way to sit. He nodded to Stuart and greeted Wendy… but
barely acknowledged Jessica.

“How was
Houston, Commander?” Stuart asked after they ordered beers.

“Tense.” The
look he exchanged with Jeff Clark gave the impression they had just
been discussing the very subject. “Not as festive as this group.
What’s goin’ on?” He still didn’t look directly at Jessica, but
addressed Stuart. “I smell PR trouble.”

Jessica’s tried
to swallow. He wouldn’t blast her in front of all these people,
would he? It wasn’t as though she was asking him to do something
painful.

Like
the
Today
s
how
interview.

Everyone but
Deke looked at her.

She took a deep
breath. “As a matter of fact, Commander, we’re celebrating your
enhanced social life.” He finally met her gaze when she spoke,
which sent the usual thrill through her until something distant in
his look caused a vague, sinking sensation to steal the pleasure.
She passed the buck quickly. “Don’t make the poor guy sweat, Stu,
fill him in on the details.”

Deke
leaned forward, his arms crossed over the back of the chair, his
feet hooked in the bottom.
Didn’t he ever get ruffled?
“What’s up, Doctor?” he asked
Stuart.

“
Well, it
seems the ever-impressive Ross & Clayton has set you up to be a
personal escort to the star of
Lost Hero
in Orlando.”

“Personal
escort? To whom?” Deke still didn’t look at Jessica, but everyone
else did, obviously expecting that it was her place to share the
news.

“Sydney Lynn
Lancaster,” Jessica replied. “Have you heard of her?”

Jeff Clark let
out a whoop that quieted the whole bar for a moment, and the
reaction of nearly a dozen Cape employees resonated through the
room. Deke was silent, but then a slow and maddening grin spread
across his face as he shook his head in slight disbelief.

“Really.” He
raised his eyebrows and half-smiled at Jeff. “I guess worse things
have happened to me.”

She never
expected compliance. Silence and the piercing stare of disbelief,
maybe, but never easy consent. A ping of jealousy shot through her,
the last swallow of wine turning sour in her stomach.

She
listened as Stuart explained the premise of the movie and why Deke
was the ideal choice for the celebrity date. “They thought about
having O’Grady there, but apparently
,
Universal felt you were a bigger name.”

Deke nearly
choked on his beer. “What a crock. The guy gets shot down, comes
face-to-face with the enemy, and lives on bugs till he’s rescued. I
flew over twice during the search and wasn’t even around the day
they found him.” He shook his head. “And I get the girl.”

“You do have to
work, Stockard,” Jessica said.

“Work?” His
gaze was on the bottle in front of him.

“
Yep.”
She wanted to reach out and grab his face.
Look at me.
“Smile for the cameras, look like you’re having
fun, and pay undivided attention to the lady.”

Jeff laughed
and smacked Deke’s shoulder. “Tough assignment, buddy. Why do I
think you can handle it better than anybody I know?”

The comments
and jokes flew and Jessica wondered if anyone realized that he
hadn’t actually acknowledged her presence yet. Was he punishing her
for the added assignment or had he simply forgotten the intimate
moment they’d shared in New York?

Jessica
leaned toward Wendy and Debbie to get in on their conversation. The
subject turned to
Endeavour
and
whether or not it would be ready.

“
Ready or
not,” Wendy said
,
“
it’ll
have to
fly.”

At the comment,
the spark disappeared from Debbie Clark’s eyes.

“Don’t worry.”
Wendy laid her hand on Debbie’s arm. “At least Jeff isn’t on
it.”

“Someone’s
husband is, though,” Debbie said with a sigh. She glanced at
Jessica. “It’s hard to live with risk your whole married life. I
wouldn’t trade Jeff for anything, but I wouldn’t mind if he’d
picked a career that was a little less stressful on me.”

Jessica thought
again of Deke’s mother and her fears. As if she read Jessica’s
mind, Debbie continued in a whisper, “I know that’s why Deke has
never gotten seriously involved with anyone. Jeff told me they
talked about it. He wouldn’t put anyone through the terror.”

A hoot of
laughter from Jeff grabbed their attention. He held his hands out
in an animated replay of the simulator training that he had just
completed with Deke.

“It was hairy,
that’s for sure,” Jeff said. “Took about five years off my life and
that was in the sim. Next time, I’m wearin’ a diaper!” At Deke’s
smirk, Jeff playfully punched him. “Hey, even you were white as a
ghost on that landing.”

“They were
training for an emergency landing with no backup computers.” Stuart
explained to Jessica. “It isn’t something we want to
experience.”

“No one talks
much about the landing,” Jessica said. “It’s always the
launch.”

“There’s your
PR for you.” Deke rolled his eyes and spoke sarcastically. “The
landing’s fifty times more dangerous than the launch. And most
people don’t even know that it’s happening, except the few who hear
the sonic boom when the orbiter breaks the sound barrier.”

Her heart
dropped at his condescending tone. When a few people started
leaving, she seized the opportunity to escape the deep freeze. Deke
got up to talk to some engineers at the bar, and she gathered her
purse and said quick good-byes, aware of a threatening sting in her
eyes.

She had to get
away from him.

Deke
stayed at the bar long enough for her to make a slow and dignified
exit without even catching his eye. As the Driftwood door closed
behind her, she increased her speed to a run, narrowly avoiding the
tourists and bar hoppers moving in packs. All around her, the
incongruous sound of a recorded version of
Joy to the World
battled to drown out the sound of crashing
waves. The twinkling of pathetic white lights hanging on palm tree
fronds swam in her watery vision.

Christmas in Cocoa Beach
. What a miserable concept.

* * *

Standing at the
bar, Deke watched Jessica leave without so much as a nod in his
direction, a slow burn of desire and regret igniting him. Had he
imagined the happiness in her eyes when he walked in? Maybe it was
just surprise, but he’d seen a glimmer there. But he wasn’t going
to explore the possibility. She had a boyfriend and a
well-documented preference for another state. Any attention she
shot his way had to be some kind of tease. Or part of her tireless,
harebrained campaign.

Still, he knew
her well enough to know she was hurt when she walked out. But, good
God. What did that woman expect from him?

He walked back
to the table with a sigh.

The week
in Houston had been hell from beginning to end. He’d been in a bad
mood when he got there, mostly because his plans for Jessica had
been shot down before they were even formed. The
Endeavour
crew was testy and tempers were
hot and the whole week culminated with a goddamn emergency landing
in the simulator that he and two other pilots nearly
blew.

“Hey, Deke,
we’re going for some Chinese. You up for it?” Jeff asked, breaking
his train of thought.

He answered
without thinking. “Yeah, sure.”

“I think Jess
is relieved to be off to Boston this weekend,” Stuart commented to
Wendy.

“I don’t think
she’s too thrilled with the landscape down here,” Wendy said.

Deke took a sip
of his beer and set the bottle on the table with a thud. “She makes
that pretty obvious.” The look on Stuart’s face made him realize
how cold that sounded, so he added, “I mean, it can’t be easy for
her to be yanked away from her regular job and her boyfriend and
all.”

Stuart looked
puzzled. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

“She does,”
Deke replied. “Some guy named Joe she’s always on the phone
with.”

Stuart shook
his head as he finished his beer and started to push back his
chair. “No, no. That’s Jo Miller. J-O. Works at R&C. I think
she’s Jessica’s best friend. You ready to go?”

As the
Clarks and Rosens gathered up their lightweight jackets, Deke
didn’t move. J-O.
Jo. Jesus, what an idiot I am
.

He flipped some
money into the pile on the table and stood up. “You know, it’s been
a helluva week. I’m gonna pass on dinner.”

* * *

By the time
Jessica arrived home, her eyes stopped stinging and she no longer
felt like crying. It wasn’t her style to get worked up over a guy,
she reminded herself as she unlocked the front door. A couple of
men had grabbed her attention in the past few years; one or two
even moved her to consider serious relationships. But when they
split up, she was relieved, not heartbroken.