A water skier grabbed their attention, so they stood and headed toward the end of the dock to watch the young woman doing tricks and poses that seemed impossible to do with such grace on the water. She waved to them on one of her passes, and Summer shared that she used to water ski as a kid as she sat down and urged Hugo to join her. “Nothing quite like
that
, but I was decent. She’s on the water-ski team in New London. We should go there tonight.” They continued to watch until the boat and skiing woman headed back toward their own dock and she let go of the towrope, slowly sinking into the water.
“He has kids,” Hugo finally shared.
Summer was silent next to him. The only sound she made was the gentle splashing of her feet in the water. Hugo knew she was thinking, trying to process everything he’d told her over the last hour. They were both fiercely protective of each other. He could feel her reticence.
“He wants to spend more time with me this weekend, on Saturday, but his kids will be there, so I’d have to meet them if I decide to go.”
Hugo felt Summer stiffen next to him, her arms going straight as they rested on the lip of the dock.
“Not like that,” Hugo soothed. “He just wants to spend some more time with me. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to meet him. I’d like you to
really
meet him, and you’d be a good buffer for our obvious attraction to each other. Just a few hours tomorrow. Nothing else.”
Summer took in a huge breath then slowly let it out of her nose as she leaned back, drawing her wet feet to the dock and wrapping her arms protectively around her knees.
“Be careful,” she warned. “I can see how vulnerable you are right now. I know that look you’ve got on your face.”
“What look is that?”
“It’s… it’s the one you have when you’re already falling in love.”
Hugo buried his face in his palms, feeling the scruff he still needed to shave away. When he met Summer’s blue eyes, he gave her a sad half smile.
“I’ve been in love with Kevin since I was sixteen years old, babe. There’s no falling when I’ve never been able to get back up from it.”
So Much More Beneath the Surface
A
S
K
EVIN
drove on the flat open highway that seemed to go on forever and ever, he couldn’t keep his mind from wandering. He was driving to Fargo to pick up Brooke and Finn from their grandparents’ house, but it felt more like he was going back in time.
It was Hugo. Seeing Hugo. Kissing Hugo.
More than anything, it was letting Hugo simply walk away that morning.
It was as if seeing him leave tore open a well-sealed box of memories Kevin had tried to keep hidden just so he could function as an adult. But now it was opened, and the wretchedly boring Red River Valley landscape wasn’t doing anything to keep his mind from tumbling back to both good and bad memories.
M
OVING
to a new town right before junior year might’ve felt like the end of the world for most high school kids, but for Kevin it ended up being a welcomed change. He was ready to escape Fargo so he could start over in a new town with people who didn’t know a thing about him. He was ready for a clean slate.
Kevin’s father was all about the buzzwords he used in his business dealings, and ever since Kevin had started middle school, everything had been about making connections and adding to this theoretical
network
that Kevin had no interest in being a part of. He just wanted to hang out with a few friends, to be left alone long enough to finally defeat King Dedede on
Kirby’s Adventure
, and to find something that he and his dad could enjoy together.
Kevin and his dad fished, had for years, but it often led to further haranguing. Peder taught Kevin how to fly-fish as a kid, but they rarely got to go after high school started because Peder was so busy with work. When they did fish together, his dad was utterly silent for much of the time. By the time Peder was ready to talk, Kevin was often sleepy from the hours of silence, the warmth of the sun beating against his back, and the monotony of the lazy activity amidst the relaxing sounds of running water. It was as if Peder had a knack for waiting for the exact moment that Kevin’s overactive teen defenses were drugged enough so that he could talk about the future.
The future had been mapped out for Kevin since before he was born. Kevin’s dad liked to be in control. He had a vision, Kevin’s mom would say, defending her husband while at the same time trying to nurture her son. Kevin knew it was an impossible task to accomplish both things simultaneously, but she tried and tried again. Kevin saw her effort for what it was, a woman doing all she could for the man and son she loved who had no idea how to get along.
“Your father is a very intelligent and respected man,” she’d say when something set Kevin off enough for him to complain, which didn’t happen very often. Kevin had been conditioned to endure instead. “He loves you. I know he has a hard time showing it, but all these decisions he’s trying to guide you toward are designed to help you be successful so you won’t ever want for anything. That’s how he shows his love, by supporting your future success.” More than likely, his mom was also having conversations with Peder about Kevin’s true motivations. His mom worked tirelessly to keep the waters calm at home.
Kevin didn’t get it. At least, he didn’t get the love part. All Kevin saw was that his father was trying to get him to make a ton of money so Peder would no longer have to support him. That didn’t seem to be the same goal Kevin’s mom had explained to him.
The
social networking
built into Kevin’s life in Fargo had been part of that success-making too. Kevin and his dad would golf with Peder’s coworkers, who always brought their sons or daughters along. Kevin and the other kid would stand off to the side trying to get to know each other while the two dads talked shop and socialized. Sometimes he dated the girls, but the boys were tolerated at best. The older Kevin got, the worse the forced social interactions became, so he’d ask to go fishing instead.
“Social support from people you can count on will get you through the tough times in your business,” Peder would say as Kevin cast his fishing line back into the water. “You have to have people who can help you. Choose your friends wisely. Make sure they have diversified assets and resources. Scratch their backs so they’ll scratch yours. It’s a good system, Kevin. It’s what makes the world work.”
By the time Kevin was a freshman, many of his friendships were based on these prearranged meet and greets. The people he hung out with were all so similar—white, rich, money-hungry social climbers. They were a lot like Kevin’s dad, and nearly all of them remarked how much Kevin was like Peder.
Kevin wanted to be nothing like his father. Kevin just wanted someone to like him for who he was, not for the family he came from or the gaming systems he had in his room or the pretty girl he happened to be dating at the time. No one knew him. No one knew the real Kevin.
The Red River spilled over its banks and flooded Kevin’s bedroom for the second time—the first time being when he was eleven and the second time happening again when he was fifteen, right as his freshman year finished up. Kevin was forced to move upstairs and live on the main level of his family’s sprawling house in Fargo. The privacy and solitude he’d enjoyed in the basement was suddenly stripped from him, much like the carpet and drywall that had been pulled from the foundation and studs.
His entire sophomore year, Kevin’s life had felt like it was on display. His room was relocated to the second floor of the house, and every move he made seemed to be scrutinized even more so than before. There were demands from Peder to know how Kevin was spending his time and lots of yelling. The pressure was starting to build as he finished that school year, but then suddenly, it all changed.
They moved to Austin. He wasn’t going to let his father dictate who he could spend time with anymore. Peder would have a hard time doing that anyway because this new job was going to take a lot of time and effort. Kevin was going to use that to his advantage. He planned on taking the summer to get to know the small city, but his dad had other plans.
“Mailroom,” Peder said with an emphatic nod. “You need to see how a corporation works from the bottom up, so I found you a job right at the bottom. It’ll keep you motivated for years to come and out of trouble until school starts.”
The job wasn’t bad at all, as it turned out. In fact, he really liked it. Kevin got to meet all sorts of new people, like the quirky lady who consistently had about five pencils stuck through the bun in her hair. She was always hunting for something to write with so Kevin would pluck out one of the pencils and hand it to her. A blush lit up her face each time as she smiled and thanked him.
As suspected, Kevin’s father had been too busy at work to do any of his typical socializing, so for the first time since Kevin was in elementary school, he was allowed this opportunity to have a friend all to himself. It was great!
Hugo. Kevin had no idea how important Hugo would become, but he ended up being just what Kevin needed to start becoming his own man.
He’d been so friendly right from the start, inviting Kevin to eat lunch with him. He was funny and they had a lot in common. Hugo had lived in Austin his entire life, so he told Kevin stories about the town, the people, and showed him all around.
Hugo was different than most of the kids Kevin had hung out with back in Fargo. He was flippant, giving the virtual finger to things so many of Kevin’s old friends thought were
so worthy
of respect. It was as if money and stuff didn’t matter to Hugo at all. Hugo didn’t give a shit that Kevin had a car or that he had nearly every technological device made. What seemed to matter to Hugo was having fun and being happy with who he was.
Hugo wasn’t afraid of making a fool of himself either, as was easily seen when he asked Kevin to show him how to skateboard. Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at how uncoordinated Hugo was at first as he stepped onto his newly built board and quickly tumbled to the pavement. Hugo had just flipped Kevin off and got back up to try again. He wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed. He was just having fun and was more than willing to expose his vulnerability to Kevin.
Kevin didn’t quite understand their relationship because so many of the friendships he’d had over the years had been about one-upmanship, proving how wonderful you were because you had the better car, the hotter girlfriend, or the latest CD release, not that Kevin ever wanted to play that game. He boldly refused, much to the confusion of his friends.
Hugo didn’t play any of those games. He was just honest and kind and… sweet. It was strange to think like that about a guy, but that’s often what Kevin thought. Hugo was innocent. Not in a naïve way, but in an untainted way. But he was also mature. He knew how to read into what Kevin said. Rather than just listening to the words that came out of Kevin’s mouth, it was like Hugo knew all the iceberg-shit underneath the surface.
It was cool that Kevin got to spend time at Hugo’s house too. Hugo’s sister, Charisse, was very affectionate, always pulling Hugo into hugs and kissing him, almost like a mom would do rather than a sister. At least, Kevin had never seen any other siblings act like that. Charisse would also reach for Kevin, placing a hand on his shoulder when she asked if she could get him a pop.
It was so different.
The two Thorsons he’d met didn’t seem to hold back touch at all. Hugo didn’t seem to think twice about reaching over to push Kevin’s long bangs out of his eyes or support him with a strong hand in the small of his back when walking over slippery rocks on a riverbed. Kevin was used to very little physical affection. His mom was the only one who’d ever really given him any, and when she did, it was usually only if he was upset. The last physical affection Kevin recalled his father giving him was when he was a preschooler sitting on Peder’s lap. That had been a very long time ago.
Moving to Austin ended up making Kevin’s life a whole lot better for many reasons. Most of all, it was great to have someone to finally let his guard down around. Kevin almost felt like Hugo was helping him navigate toward something new, maybe even self-discovery.
A
T
THE
beginning of August, Peder started threatening to cut Kevin’s hair while he slept, probably because school was going to start in less than a month. Kevin was pissed and had even locked his bedroom door the night before, just in case. He had a feeling he’d keep doing it too.
The next day, Hugo and he walked through the woods, which always relaxed Kevin before. Not that day, though. Kevin just couldn’t drop the anger or the worry he had that his dad would actually cut his hair, and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Usually Kevin avoided talking about his dad because he couldn’t trust people. In the past, if he bitched to a friend, the kid often told his or her parents, and Kevin’s complaints would eventually get back to Peder. There was no way that would happen with Hugo, so he allowed himself a few moments of pure honesty and told Hugo the bullshit that was bothering him.
Hugo didn’t laugh at him or tell Kevin to get over himself. He just listened and tried to give Kevin the psychological boost he needed to no longer feel as if he were drowning in Peder’s expectations. Then Hugo started talking about how he felt like he didn’t fit in.
Kevin didn’t understand how that could be, considering Hugo knew Austin like the back of his hand and seemed to know people everywhere they went, greeting them by their first names and asking questions about little incidental things most people would never remember, let alone be kind enough to follow up on. But it was obvious that Hugo didn’t feel like he belonged. Kevin saw those feelings projected in his dark-blue eyes.
The sun broke through the overhead canopy in the woods and lit up Hugo’s dark hair, drawing irregular shapes of golden warmth on his hair and pale skin. Kevin studied Hugo’s face, intent on trying to understand the message hidden far below what Hugo was actually saying to him. He couldn’t figure it out though because Hugo’s eyes drew Kevin’s attention.