“I
want
to learn, Trap. Eventually I’ll work with you in the laboratory, but I don’t want you to hire a cook. You can bring in someone to clean a couple of times a week, but I want to take care of you myself. And when we have children, I want to take care of them. I used to stay in Nonny’s room because it felt like a home there. She has something intangible, but it’s there, and I want to learn how to have that for our family. She’s offered to give me cooking lessons. I’m not going to turn that down.”
There was determination in her voice. He ran his hand down the length of her glossy hair. “Thanks, baby. I haven’t had anyone caring for me since I lost my aunt.”
“I’m going to be good at it, you’ll see.”
She was starting with nothing. No patterns, no skills, no prior experience or knowledge to draw on, but he could see she was absolutely determined. He could also see that soft warmth in her eyes when she looked at him.
“I know you will, Cayenne,” he said as he walked with her up the stairs.
Nonny flung open the door, her faded eyes moving over the two of them. She smiled at Trap. “Missed you around here, boy. ’Bout time you brought your woman to meet me.”
Trap drew Cayenne in front of him, one arm around her, locked right under her breasts. “Nonny, this is my Cayenne. Baby, this is Wyatt’s grandmother. All of us call her Nonny.”
Cayenne smiled at the woman. Nonny was ageless. Timeless. Her hair was gray and she wore it in a braid wrapped around the back of her head in a bun. She had a few wrinkles, but not many. Her smile was quick and real as she stepped back to allow them entrance.
“Wyatt, Ezekiel and Mordichai are goin’ to take the girls out for a boat ride through the swamp. Wyatt’s been talkin’ to them about survival. He wants them to know all the dangers and also to give them a sense of direction just in case. Ginger likes to wander off, and we have to watch that one like a hawk because the other girls follow her lead.”
“They’re a handful,” Trap agreed, as if he had great knowledge of little girls. “We’re trying to have a baby, Nonny, so ours will grow up with Wyatt’s.”
Nonny spun around and fixed him with a glare. Both hands went to her hips, fists closed tight. “Trap Dawkins. You don’ get a woman pregnant without marryin’ her first. You do that, and you’ll understand the meanin’ of a shotgun weddin’.” She turned her complete attention on Cayenne. “Girl, you and me are goin’ to have a talk.”
Cayenne couldn’t possibly take offense. She found herself smiling and nodding. Trap’s hands closed over her shoulders.
“We’re dealing with the paperwork, Nonny. Jaimie and Flame are making certain that Cayenne has a complete history and everything is in order. Once they give us the go-ahead, we’ll get married. I give you my word.”
Nonny studied his face for a long moment and then she grunted and nodded, as if in approval. Cayenne let out her breath.
She’s magnificent.
Yeah, she is.
Wyatt’s so lucky.
We all are. She treats us all like her family, and she means it.
Cayenne studied the older woman as she followed her into what was the sitting room. That, she was certain, was Nonny’s secret – she genuinely cared about the people around her. She welcomed them, took them at face value, and treated them as if they belonged to her. Cayenne wanted that for her own family.
Trap squeezed her hand as she sank into the chair Nonny gestured toward. “You’ll be okay, baby? I’m going to go with Wyatt if you’re comfortable with that. I need to be around his girls. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss them.”
“I’ll take good care of her,” Nonny promised.
Trap leaned down and brushed a kiss on top of Cayenne’s head. “Thanks, Nonny.” He straightened, running his knuckles gently along Cayenne’s face. “You two have fun.”
“We will,” Cayenne said, suddenly reluctant to let him out of her sight. She wasn’t good at small talk. At talk at all. She was used to being with Trap, and maybe Wyatt in small doses, but she was going to be alone in a house with two women she didn’t really know at all.
She pressed a hand to her churning stomach. She honestly hadn’t considered what she’d feel like without Trap close by. Still, she kept her mouth shut, refusing to be such a coward that she would call him back when it had been her suggestion that he find an excuse to leave her alone with them. She watched him leave. Looked out the window to see him join Wyatt and the other two men in the front. Trap reached down, picked up a little toddler and settled her on his hip. The sight turned her heart over.
She turned her gaze back to Nonny and found the woman watching her closely.
“You’re in love with him,” Nonny said approvingly.
Cayenne once more looked out the window, staring at the man she couldn’t imagine herself without. He was gorgeous. Tall and strong. His hair was always a mess, but she especially liked it that way. Every movement he made set his muscles rippling deliciously beneath his tight tee. The toddler on his hip looked tiny next to his large frame.
“I don’t know what that is,” Cayenne admitted softly, “but he’s everything to me. I want to learn how to take care of him. To make him a home. I don’t think he’s had that, and I want to do that for him.” She turned back toward the older woman, leaning forward, meeting her eyes. “I want that a
lot
. I’m hoping you can help me.”
“Keepin’ your man happy isn’t difficult, Cayenne. Neither is makin’ a home for him, not if it’s important to you.”
“I didn’t have parents,” she blurted out. “I have to learn everything out of a book or on the Internet. Cooking is especially difficult. I can get all the measurements right, but I make the worst messes. Half the time, Trap has to come in and help me get everything cleaned up. I don’t want that. He works hard and the work he does is important. Eventually, I’m going to help him in the laboratory, but to do that, I have to be organized so everything else gets done. I don’t mind him helping me with the laundry – which by the way I screw up almost every time I do it. But I want to do the cooking. I don’t know why, but it’s important to me.”
Nonny studied her face. “It was difficult for you to ask Wyatt if he’d ask me, wasn’t it? But you did. That took courage. A little thing like cookin’ isn’t goin’ to be hard for you after that.”
Cayenne hadn’t realized how tense she was. She forced air through her lungs and sank back. “I’ve never even talked to other women, not like this. Not Pepper, no one. I’ve never gone into a grocery store or paid for groceries. I don’t know how to do those things. Trap’s friends have been getting our groceries for us. He wants everything in place before we go out in public together. I think he actually wants us to be married.”
Nonny didn’t take her gaze from Cayenne’s. “I don’ know a lot about Wyatt’s business. I do know that somethin’ bad happened to Pepper and the girls. I know that same somethin’ must have happened to you. You have no cause to be worried about makin’ friends with me. You already did, just by puttin’ the soft in Trap’s face and meltin’ the ice in his eyes. The way he picked up that youngin’ was beautiful. He never did that before. Not once. Not slow and easy and natural. You gave him that.”
Cayenne felt her eyes burn. She liked hearing what Nonny was saying to her. Movement in the doorway nearly had her spinning around in her chair, but the scent came to her and she knew it was Pepper, Wyatt’s wife. She could actually smell Wyatt on her, their combined scents. She forced herself to turn slowly with a small smile on her face, even though she was back to being tense again.
Two people. Two women. Cayenne pushed down panic and smiled through the introductions. “I guess I have you to thank for telling Trap that I was imprisoned and awaiting termination,” she said.
Nonny made a small sound in the back of her throat. “What did you say, child?”
Cayenne nearly bit her tongue. Clearly Nonny didn’t have all the details about her. She glanced nervously at Pepper, looking for direction.
“Nonny, just like the girls, Whitney and Braden put out a termination order on Cayenne.”
“It’s still in effect,” Cayenne said. “So in coming here, I may have put you both in danger. If you…”
“Don’ even say it,” Nonny warned. “We’re all in this together. I think it’s time those boys earned their dinner anyway. They’re hanging around here, pretendin’ to work, eatin’ every chance they get. A little guard duty will keep them sharp.”
Pepper laughed softly. “Nonny’s very good at handling all the men. I tend to hide sometimes, but she knows exactly what to do with them.”
“I had me four boys to raise,” Nonny pointed out. “Now I got me three little girls, Pepper and Flame, Gator’s wife.” The faded eyes went to Cayenne’s face. “And you. ’Bout time I had me daughters what with all these boys I’ve got now. Gives a body a reason to keep goin’.”
“What are the girls’ names? Triplets, right?” Cayenne asked, her stomach settling a little more.
Nonny conveyed such warmth it was impossible not to feel welcome in her home. Pepper was more reserved; like Cayenne, she didn’t have much experience with people. She’d had four months of being with Wyatt, Nonny, and the members of the GhostWalker team so she had a jump on Cayenne gaining experience. Clearly being around Nonny gave her advantages. She was already taking on Nonny’s natural friendliness and warmth. Cayenne envied her just a little.
“Ginger, Cannelle and Thym,” Pepper answered. “You know how Braden wanted us all to be spices. He was such a jerk.”
“Whitney determined that those of us in France would be spices. He had two other labs that I heard rumors about in other countries, and if he has women or children there, you can bet they have a different category name. As I understand it from what Trap told me, those in the United States have flowers or seasons,” Cayenne said.
“Flame’s real name is Iris,” Nonny said, “but no one calls her that. Whitney gave her the cancer – repeatedly. I know Trap and Wyatt are workin’ as hard as they can to come up with a cure, at least for the type of cancer Whitney gave Flame. He wanted it to keep comin’ back so she would have to go to him for treatment. Lily Miller is helpin’. She’s Whitney’s daughter, and she put Flame’s cancer in remission, but we’re all afraid it might come back again.”
Cayenne was surprised that Nonny knew so much about Whitney’s experiments. Although once she gave it thought, it stood to reason. Nonny had lived a long life and she was smart and observant. She had two grandsons who had joined the GhostWalker program and were married to other GhostWalkers. She hosted an entire team in her home. She had to see their differences and hear them talking.
“Whitney didn’t want to see any of us as human,” Pepper said. “He can distance himself from us so it’s easy to look at us as experiments and he can terminate us, or do anything else he wants without feeling guilty.”
Cayenne shivered, a cold chill creeping down her spine. Her hands ached. She rubbed them on her thighs, suddenly wishing Trap were there.
She felt Nonny’s sharp gaze and forced her hands into her lap, threading her fingers together to keep from trembling. She didn’t
ever
feel like this unless she was alone at night and couldn’t shut out the memories of being pinned to a table like an insect with several men in lab coats poking and stabbing with needles and knives. Bile rose, and she felt like she might choke.
Baby. What is it?
He was there. Trap. Pouring into her mind. Filling her with warmth. With him. With his strength, but it was much more than that. So much more. She wasn’t alone with her memories. He had them. He took them from her and made her whole. Made her human. She felt him holding her, his fingers sifting through her hair, looking for the hourglass, stroking it and caressing it. Accepting who she was. He knew the worst of her, and it didn’t matter.
I’m all right. Memories are too close.
Do you need me? I can come to you, take you home. Hold you, Cayenne. You say the word and I’m on my way.
She loved that.
Loved
that he would drop everything to get back to her. Her heart melted. Her stomach did a little flip. He’d already pushed the memories away, and she wanted to learn to cook. For him.
Baby.
His voice, so soft, caressed her mind. She felt his love, that deep emotion neither really knew what to do with, filling her.
I don’t need you to learn to cook.
He didn’t need it, but she did. It felt necessary to her. Cooking wouldn’t define her, but it would make her feel more human. She needed to feel she could take care of Trap by means other than sex.
I need this, Trap. I want this. I’m interested in it and I think I can get good at it. I’m fine now, just maybe needed to touch base with you.
She hesitated a moment. Took a breath and gave it all to him.
To know you’re there for me.
Always, Cayenne. Never doubt it.
She would never take that for granted, no matter how long they were together. She knew she wouldn’t. She sent him warmth and broke the contact, aware of Nonny’s steady gaze. The older woman leaned over and put her hand over Cayenne’s. Her hands were warm, just like the woman.
“You’re safe in this house, Cayenne,” she said gently.
Cayenne blinked rapidly to keep the burning out of her eyes. She wasn’t afraid, but she couldn’t explain that to this woman. She welcomed a fight, she was in her element going up against Whitney’s termination squads, but sitting in a house with two other women who were being sweet and kind and
friendly
, that was much more difficult.
“Thank you,” she murmured, because she had to say something.
“Let’s get started.” Nonny patted her hands and then stood up to lead the way to the kitchen. “I’ve got everything we need set out for the cookin’ lesson. The more tools you have, the easier it is.”
“Trap has all kinds of tools in his kitchen,” Cayenne admitted. “I just don’t know what they’re for. And I always make such a mess. After a while I get overwhelmed. I don’t understand how it looks so easy on the Internet but when I try, I mess everything up. It’s absolutely maddening.”