Spirit Past (Book 8) (23 page)

"What of Burbon?" Holli asked before seeking out the draevol.

"What of it?" Ansas responded, clearly not concerned with the small town.

"Neltus revealed the town was about to be attacked by an animated thrastil. Should we not send them help?"

"As I said to you before, Burbon does not require our aid, but if you wish proof, we can go there... after you find the draevol, of course."

After briefly speaking with Captain Klusac about Sy's appearance, Ryson spotted Dzeb standing atop a nearby hill. He ran effortlessly up the slope, hoping that Dzeb fared as well as the town. The behemoth did not appear to be hurt, but Ryson wanted to ensure the giant suffered no lingering injuries.

"Are you alright?" the delver asked.

"By the grace of Godson, I am well," the cliff behemoth replied.

"I would have checked on you sooner, but..."

"I understand," Dzeb answered with a comforting smile and nod. "Confrontation between an undead thrastil and a guardian spirit cannot simply be ignored... especially for a delver."

Reassured that the behemoth had not been harmed, Ryson's thoughts returned to the incident at Burbon's wall. His emotions remained a jumbled mess. He could not deny the near complete elation in knowing that Sy Fenden had not passed from Uton completely, but confusion over his friend's return and what it meant to his concept of reality continued to trouble him.

"Did you see what happened?" the delver asked.

"I did. Yet more grace. It appears your town is blessed by Godson."

Blessed?

Ryson found the assertion questionable. Putting aside his own bewilderment, he focused on the contradiction of the giant's words. Burbon had just been attacked; first by a legion of undead monsters and then by an animated thrastil. Yes, it seemed as if the spirit of Sy Fenden returned to save the town—that in itself might be considered a blessing, even a miracle—but calling the town blessed seemed inappropriate at best, and at worst, painfully ignorant. It was as if Dzeb only looked at the end of the equation and wished to ignore the factors that led up to Sy's appearance.

Even if the giant only considered the ultimate results, Dzeb's conclusion remained inappropriate in the delver's opinion. Ryson did not see the hand of some benevolent force. He saw the return of a man who swore to protect his town, and with that reflection, Ryson could not accept what the cliff behemoth professed.

"That wasn't Godson. That was Sy... his spirit."

Dzeb would not be so easily swayed that Sy alone saved Burbon.

"And you think Godson played no part in that?"

Ryson shrugged, turned, and considered ending the discussion without further debate. He had enough to consider in Sy's return. Debating the role of Godson wasn't going to offer the answers he sought, and he did not wish to argue with the giant.

On previous occasions, he engaged in several conversations with the cliff behemoth about faith and the word of Godson. All of them seemed hinged solely upon Dzeb's beliefs, which were just beyond Ryson's grasp. He saw no benefit in having another such discussion, so he almost gave up. He took one step back down the hill, but then stopped.

As he looked down upon the town and the soldiers who were already working on removing the corpses piled outside Burbon's wall, he thought again of how they were attacked. One simple word came to his lips.

"No."

Questioning the behemoth's beliefs wouldn't answer his questions about Sy, but Ryson couldn't just turn away from another question. He was avoiding too many, and it was time to start being a delver again, time to start searching for answers.

"No, I don't think Godson played any part in this," Ryson claimed, as he turned his attention back to the giant. "At least, I don't see it. I don't know how or why Sy came back, but I don't see the work of some benevolent force, some divine power."

Ryson did not wish to be defiant, but he could no longer walk away from seemingly deficient explanations. Inconsistencies battered his understanding of reality, and he was tired of the growing confusion.

"You want to believe this was the work of Godson?" Ryson continued. "Okay, what about the dead corpses that were pounding on our wall?"

"That was an affront to Godson."

"So you said before, but I want to know the difference."

"I do not understand," Dzeb answered with complete honesty.

"Tell me the difference between Sy coming back from the dead and all those creature's rising up from their graves."

"Those bodies were soulless. They were without life. Misdirected ambitions and the will of evil animated those corpses, not Godson."

"What about the power that could make those corpses walk? What kind of power was that?"

"As I said, it was misdirected energy."

"But energy from where?"

"From some pawn of Reiculf."

"Exactly, and that's my point."

"And I still do not understand," Dzeb answered. The giant wished to help the delver, but he could not follow Ryson's path of reasoning.

Ryson saw the anguish growing in the face of the cliff behemoth. He
didn't want to challenge the giant, but far too many mysteries plagued him, far too many questions erupted in his mind. He ached for answers. He pressed forward, not with the hope of destroying Dzeb's beliefs, but with a longing to understand how they could fit with what he witnessed... all of it.

"I can't leave it at that," Ryson explained, "not this time. Sy Fenden's spirit just returned to Burbon. He saved us all, saved the town. I can't just thank Godson and walk away. I need to know what happened. I need to know
why
all of this is happening."

"And how can I help you in this regard?"

"It sounds like you think you understand it. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I want you to explain it."

"I know the curiosity that stirs you," Dzeb stated, suddenly gaining insight into what the delver desired. "Questions burn within you, but not all of your questions can be answered."

"Maybe they can't, but I can still ask. I'm thrilled Sy came back, but he couldn't talk, wouldn't answer my questions. You can."

"I am not sure I can offer any additional clarity on the return of Sy Fenden," Dzeb offered. "I never claimed to understand all the mysteries of Godson."

"I don't want to hear about the mysteries. I want to hear about those things you
can
explain. In a way, you're acting like my sword, and right now, I need something more. I admit we've had these talks before, but you've only given me little hints here and there. I can't always follow you. Like I said, it's a lot like my sword. It only gives me direction when it wants to. There's no explanation, no clear line to the truth. It's not enough. I want more... I want to understand it."

"Godson fulfils the need not the want."

"I'm not talking about Godson. I'm talking about you. Are you trying to avoid the answers?"

"I do not avoid the truth."

"Then I'm asking you to try to explain it. Maybe you won't succeed, but will you at least try?"

Dzeb nodded.

"Okay," Ryson continued, "I think Sy saved us. I'm not sure how or why, or even what it means for the future, but everything points to Sy's spirit returning to save Burbon. I'm wondering if the magic has something to do with this, but you said it was the work of Godson. I assume that means you think Godson sent Sy's spirit to help us. Is that true?"

"The soul is the ultimate gift and Godson gives freedom to the soul, but to answer your question... yes, I believe Godson sent Sy's spirit to help us."

And with those words spoken, Ryson finally began to see the contradictions that troubled his own spirit. Just as with Sy's spiritual return, the delver could not help but see inconsistencies in Dzeb's explanation.

"Then why was it even necessary? If Godson is all powerful, then why did we need to be saved? Why were we even attacked... and not only attacked, but attacked by such a force? I'm talking about the dead rising. That's not some insignificant event. What kind of creature would raise the dead to attack an innocent town?"

"A creature such as Reiculf."

"And how is it Reiculf came to such power? Why is he allowed to do such things?"

"You are asking why there is evil in this land," Dzeb offered.

"Absolutely. You said Burbon is blessed. I don't see it that way. If anything, I'm wondering if it's cursed. I see a town that has had to fight countless battles."

"And Burbon continues to survive."

"We can get to that later. Let's stick with my question. Why have we had to face so much? And I'm not talking about facing challenges. Life is a challenge, it isn't fair. I get that, but like you said, I'm asking about the existence of evil. It's like when you first showed up to warn us that Reiculf was free. Linda had the right question. She wanted to know why Godson would even allow a creature like a daokiln to exist. Now I want to know the same thing."

Ryson realized such a question was large in scope and perhaps too difficult to answer. Unfortunately, he knew it was the question that plagued him, and he couldn't allow Dzeb to ignore it while holding to some belief which Ryson couldn't quite grasp.

To the delver's surprise, Dzeb answered honestly and without hesitation, though the response only led to more questions.

"Reiculf is the embodiment of evil. I do not deny that. He exists because evil exists."

"Then why did Godson create evil?"

"Godson didn't create evil, we did."

"We created evil?"

"Is that so difficult to believe?" Dzeb asked. "We corrupt many things of our own accord."

"You're basically saying that we created Reiculf?"

"Now you understand."

"I don't understand any of it," Ryson revealed, controlling his frustration, but making his confusion clear.

Dzeb, however, saw it differently.

"I believe you understand far more than you will a
dmit. Acceptance, however, has always been what separates us from grace. We separate ourselves from Him because we choose not to accept Him. The distance grows further and further and ultimately we need a place to go. What could be further from Godson than a place of pure hate? It is the constant conflict of right versus wrong, good versus evil."

"But if we were blessed, like you said, wouldn't Godson direct us away from evil?"

"Do you want Godson to direct everything, guide all your choices, take away your will?"

"No, but a little help wouldn't hurt."

"So you want help some of the time, but not all of the time. Is that it? How does one develop faith if we demand Godson save us from ourselves? Godson gave us the power to direct our own lives. He also gave us the ability to shape our own existence. Within that existence, we decide where to place our beliefs. He doesn't expect you to be perfect, not at all, but Godson does expect you to have faith."

"That may be just as impossible," Ryson admitted.

Dzeb actually laughed.

"You always know how to make me smile, Ryson Acumen," the behemoth revealed. "You place so many restrictions on yourself. You make it sound as if you could never believe in anything at all, and yet your beliefs have allowed you to do remarkable things. After all you've experienced, you still want life to be simple. If it were, Godson wouldn't expect you to have any faith at all."

Before Ryson could question the giant further, several individuals appeared at the edge of the clearing around the wall. He recognized them all, including Neltus, whom he wanted to pummel for abandoning Burbon. Ryson would control his anger, but not his curiosity.

"We're not done with this," Ryson stated firmly.

"We are never done discussing Godson," Dzeb replied with a broad smile.

"But we can't continue it now," the delver explained. "We need to find out what's happening."

Both Ryson and Dzeb descended the hill and met with the group that appeared out of thin air. The delver directed his question to Enin.

"What's happening?"

"A great many things," Enin advised, "but mostly, we were worried about you."

They exchanged stories, which led to questions on both sides. Once all the answers were given, Ryson surprisingly turned to Ansas.

"I owe you an apology. You were right. You've weakened Reiculf and managed to keep everyone else safe."

"I care little for your apologies," Ansas replied coldly, "but I expect you all will listen to me with less reluctance in the future."

"Still charming, I see."

"I'm not here to charm you."

While Ryson might have been willing to acknowledge Ansas' accomplishments, Jure was ready to point out his failings.

"Just because
some
of your plan worked doesn't mean I'm ready to simply follow your instructions... whether you're charming or not."

"Some?" Ansas asked. "Exactly which part of my plan failed?"

"Scheff is blind, or did you forget that little detail?"

"I have forgotten nothing. It was my intention to blind him."

"That's nothing to be proud of."

"You are being naive... and foolish. It was a major triumph. Reiculf has lost a slave."

"And anyway that's accomplished is fine with you?" Jure challenged.

"Was there another way? I'd love to hear it."