Spirit's Chosen (45 page)

“You are not to blame for your master’s lack of wisdom and courtesy. You don’t need my forgiveness. Tell Lord Ryu that I received his message.” She dipped her head once and dashed away.

The crowd of Ookami had scattered by the time the maid and I finished speaking. Rinji was the only person left lingering by the gates. He brightened at once when he saw me. Then he recalled that I had been fetched away to hear
bad
news, for his expression changed at once to a sympathetic, inquiring look.

“You don’t look
too
upset,” he said by way of greeting. “Can you tell me what she said?”

“I’m not sure about that. Ryu directed her to speak with me alone; I don’t know why. If I share the message with you and he finds out, she’ll be the one to pay for it.” He was downcast, so to divert him I quickly asked: “What happened to the crowd? Where did everyone go? Even Daimu’s gone!”

“Some of the people are still deeply troubled by what happened. Daimu swore to them by every oath you can imagine that Mori’s spirit will never bother us again, once his bones are buried
without
a human sacrifice, but they wouldn’t be comforted. He finally had to bring them to the shrine to perform a rite of protection. As for the others …” He spread his hands. “When Lord Ryu left, he took all their excitement with him. They went home to have breakfast before their day’s work begins.”

He lifted his head and gazed toward the slopes where the Ookami rice paddies lay. Although the sun was climbing the sky at his back, a mass of dark clouds loomed above the mountains in that direction. A thin rumble of thunder sounded in the distance.

“If that weather comes this way, your people might have to give up a day’s labor,” I remarked.

He shaded his eyes and studied the ponderous movement of the thunderheads. “So that’s why I’ve been feeling so edgy. It will be good when the rain comes and washes all this tension from the air.”

“I agree. In the meanwhile, why don’t you come to the shrine and share the morning meal with Daimu and me?” I asked casually.
And the news of my expulsion from this village
without
Noboru
, I thought.
Forgive me, Rinji, but I could not tell you anything before I let Daimu know. It would be like keeping secrets from myself. He holds my heart
.

The shielding ritual was over and the attendees gone when Rinji and I entered the shrine. Daimu hailed us smiling. “A good morning’s work, my friends,” he said. “I’ll be able to attend my uncle’s burial tomorrow with my heart at
peace. Have you eaten? I have a bear’s appetite! I told Ashi to serve double portions, so there will be plenty for you as well, Rinji.”

“I would be delighted.” Rinji did not
look
delighted; he looked uncomfortable, and kept shooting troubled glances my way. A slow-witted man could have seen that something was wrong, and Daimu was clever.

“What is it, Rinji? For the love of the gods, don’t tell me Ryu’s stirred up some fresh mischief about bringing back the fugitives! Not after all we went through to—!”

“No,” I said. “He has accepted his defeat as far as that goes. This is not about them. It’s about me.” Steadily, impassively, I recounted the wolf chieftain’s message. Daimu and Rinji were dumbstruck.

My beloved was the first to find his voice. “He has no right to do this.”

“He has
every
right,” I replied. “I do not belong to this clan.”

“But to send you away with nothing—!” Rinji protested.

“I have traveled without supplies before this. At least this is a good season for it. I can take care of myself, and it isn’t too far before I’ll reach another village.”

Thunder grumbled beyond the shrine walls, though there was still no sign of rain. “At least he did not send you away today, with this storm approaching,” Rinji said. “He’s showing you a little kindness. Maybe he can be persuaded to show more.”

“I think the reason he didn’t try to be rid of me today has nothing to do with kindness,” I said. “The people took my side this morning and forced him to give up the hunt. If
he tried to act against me too quickly, they might thwart him again.” I gave Rinji a regretful smile. “Now I understand why he insisted his messenger speak to me with no witnesses. If the crowd had still been there and heard about this …”

“Then we have to tell them!” Rinji was already heading for the doorway. “I’ll gather the people, tell them that their chieftain is about to exile the most accomplished shaman”—he glanced guiltily at Daimu and amended his words—“one of the most accomplished shamans they’ll ever know. They’ll never stand for it! You saw what happened at the gate: not even Lord Ryu’s picked huntsmen stood by him against you. The Ookami will—!”

Lightning lit the sky, casting dazzling white patterns across the shrine floor. Thunder crashed and the clouds tore open with gusts of wind and rain. Flash after flash seared the air, each leaving a strangely piercing scent in its wake. Clap after clap of thunder rolled through the village, making a din so loud that I imagined the pillars of the shrine were shaking. The outer world was whipped away in swaths of water riding the breath of the tempest.

I looked out into the storm and knew that the gods had spoken. The people would not set foot out of their homes in this weather. By tomorrow, the scene at the gate would already be fading from their minds as the demands of ordinary life occupied their attention once more. No doubt Ryu was already using the time between now and then to come up with a plausible, compelling way to make his clanfolk accept the decision to send me home. Any hope we had of rallying the Ookami to support me against him was being washed away with the rain.

“We must forget about enlisting your people to help me,” I told Rinji quietly. “If I am going to stay, the answer to Ryu’s orders has to come from us.”

“There can be no ‘if’ about it,” Daimu said. “You can’t leave without your brother.”

“The little boy who’s Lord Ryu’s hostage?” Rinji asked.

“He’s more than that: he’s the price of her mother’s life,” Daimu replied, and poured out the whole story of the mission that had brought me to the Ookami village.

When he was done, Rinji cried, “Himiko, why didn’t you tell me this before? I would have done everything in my power to let you bring Noboru home!”

“And what would that be?” I asked without any bitterness. “If you have some idea that Daimu and I have overlooked, tell us now, before it’s too late.”

“I could—I could—” Rinji stammered, took a breath, and fell silent, head bowed in defeat.

“It’s all right, my friend.” Daimu patted him on the back. “I share your feelings. It’s painful to be helpless, especially when someone we care about needs us most.”

Rinji shook his head slowly. “Oh, Himiko, I wish we had more time. I know I could find a way out of this for you if Lord Ryu would only give you more than a single day among us.” He looked up, a spark of hope in his eyes. “Why don’t you pretend to be too sick to travel? He couldn’t force you to go then!”

“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” I replied. “Remember, we’re talking about Ryu.”

Rinji jumped to his feet. “I’m going to his house right
now! I’ll tell Lady Sato what he’s done. Maybe she will have the ability to make him remember how much he owes you.”

“You’d appeal to his mother?” I raised one brow. “Ryu isn’t a little boy anymore.”

“Well, then, I’ll ask Lady Chizu—”

“Does he ever
listen
to his wife?”

Rinji pressed his lips together. He knew the answer to that. “I don’t know what else to try. If Lord Ryu would only show you the gratitude you deserve—!”

“Ryu believes that
I
am the ungrateful one,” I said. “You heard him: he offered me the chance to join this clan and I spurned it.” I thought it best not to add that I had also turned down his chieftain’s suggestion of marriage to the younger shaman. Unfortunately one look at Rinji’s expression told me that he remembered this himself.

“He shouldn’t hold that choice against you,” Daimu declared. “You wanted
unconditional
freedom. Rinji and I can understand that, can’t we, my friend?”

His former apprentice made a vague gesture that was impossible to interpret. Abruptly he said, “The storm is passing. I should go.” Though Daimu and I pointed out that the rain was falling as hard as ever, he closed his ears to our pleas and left.

Daimu sighed. “He’s right, you know.”

“What do you mean?” I demanded. “Should I give up allegiance to my own clan? To the people whose blood is mine?”

“Not that. But if you had accepted Ryu’s
other
gift—if you agreed to marry Rinji—your troubles would be over. Who makes a better hostage to ensure the Matsu clan’s
good behavior? A child? Or a princess so powerful she’s a shaman in her own right
and
the wife of the shaman entrusted with building of the wolf shrine? Ryu is not stupid. He knows that the strongest bond between clans cannot be based on conquest alone. Your marriage to Rinji would reinforce his rule over the Matsu once and for all.”

I turned away from him and walked to the doorway. The world was rain. I heard the boards creak under his approaching footsteps and felt his strong hands close on my shoulders. “I did not say all of that because I want you to marry Rinji,” he murmured. “But if it is the only way for you to save your mother, and if you are willing to go through with it, maybe there’s still time to tell Ryu you’ve changed your mind and—”

“Marry me, Daimu,” I said.

His hands clenched. “Himiko, there’s nothing I want more. I would thank the gods every day of my life if you became my bride, but … Ryu won’t. You know how he resents me. He’ll see it as further evidence that his wishes as chieftain can be overturned, and he won’t like that. His idea was for you to wed
Rinji
.”

“I do not love Rinji,” I replied, warm rain misting my face. It felt like the playful kisses of a thousand spirits. “I love you. If we marry, it will be as you say: I’ll have the status of being an Ookami shaman’s wife and the right to stay here without having to give up my place among the Matsu. I will have more time to work on freeing Noboru. Above all, I will have my heart’s desire.” I faced him, my arms wreathing his neck. I had never seen his face so stunned with joy. “Say yes.”

He did so without words.

* * *

The rain ended by midday. Daimu and I picked our way around the larger puddles to Rinji’s small house near the future site of the wolf shrine. My beloved carried a small container of rice wine and I held a bowl half filled with millet porridge, the leftovers of our morning meal. It was nothing fancy, but the food and drink we would share in the presence of a shaman would mark us as man and wife before the gods.

When Rinji came out to welcome us, we made no attempt to hide our mutual bliss. His smile soon mirrored our own, though he had no idea of the true reason for our happiness. “You thought of a way for Himiko to remain here, didn’t you?” he exclaimed, clapping Daimu on the back. “Tell me!” If he noticed the food and wine we carried, he must have mistaken them for the makings of a very modest victory celebration.

Daimu and I both put a free arm around his shoulders. “We couldn’t have done it without you, dear Rinji,” I said. “Your words showed us the way.”

“They did?” He was confused, but still smiling. “How?”

“Let’s go inside first,” Daimu suggested. “You will need to make a few preparations for the ceremony.”

“Your uncle’s burial?” Rinji misunderstood completely. “All of that is ready. I hope you will be very pleased by how well I honor him, Daimu. I shined my mirror and my bell
twice
, though after that storm I think I may have to do it a third time.” He motioned to where the two sacred items rested on a narrow, raised platform against the back wall of the house.

“They look bright enough to me,” I said, kneeling as I whisked a cloth from my sash and spread it on the ground. “Daimu, the wine?”

Rinji watched with ever mounting puzzlement as Daimu and I set out the bowl of millet porridge and the small flask of wine. It was only when Daimu asked him for a single cup that he realized what was going on.

“You’re marrying … 
him
?” His voice was harsh and terrible to hear, as though it were emerging from an abyss where demons dwelled. “Just like that? You’re not going to give him the reasons—the
excuses
you gave when you pushed me away?” His eyes blazed as he turned to Daimu. “Congratulations,
Master
. You are clearly the better shaman. You know more spells than you ever bothered to teach me: how to change lies into love; how to snare a heart of snow.”

“Rinji, please …” I rose and grabbed his arm. “I never lied to you. I called you my
friend
.”

“You called
him
friend too!” he shouted, pointing at Daimu. “How many meanings does that word have for you? ‘Lover’ when you speak of him, ‘fool’ when you speak of me!” He shook me off and barged out of the house, kicking over the bowl of millet porridge on his way.

“Merciful spirits, what have we done to him?” I breathed. “I didn’t want him to be hurt. I thought I’d made my feelings for him clear a long time ago, well before I ever knew you, beloved. I was glad to have him for my friend, but there could be no more than that between us. I thought he understood and accepted it. I even believed he was content.”

Daimu knelt to scoop the spilled porridge back into
the bowl. “He was satisfied to be your friend because he hoped you would change your mind someday. I destroyed that for him.”

“You are not responsible for his heartbreak,” I said. “Neither am I. He chose to turn our friendship into his fantasy of love.”

“I still regret how badly this has hurt him.” He looked toward the open doorway. “He will never agree to perform the marriage ceremony now.”

I took the bowl from his hands and raised it to my lips, swallowing a mouthful. “We will have to perform it for ourselves.” I passed him the bowl and watched him eat a little of the cold gruel before he picked up the wine, sipped it, and gave it to me. I accepted the small clay vessel and drank. It felt right.