Spirits of Spring (The Haunting Ruby Series Book 4) (46 page)

“I
knew
it!” Dad said excitedly. “I
knew
that bullet hit
someone else first—it was the only explanation that made
sense. But since no one else came in with a bullet wound, I was
totally stumped as to who else it could have been.
You owe
Clay a huge thank you, Ruby. He’s part of the reason why Zach
is still alive. The other part I’m still puzzled about, though.
How in the world did you two manage to defibrillate him before
he got to the hospital?”

“De- what him?” Rachel asked curiously. “I don’t have
any clue what you just said so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me who
did it.”

I wasn’t familiar with the term either but I knew exactly
what he was asking us. “I guess that would have been me,” I
answered self-consciously. “I hurt him, didn’t I? Please tell me
the truth.” Nervously, I began chewing on my bottom lip. I
didn’t want to hear his reply.

He returned my question with a brief blank stare, like
he was trying to process what I’d said in his brain before
replying. “No, Ruby, you definitely didn’t hurt him. Clay is only
part of the reason Zach didn’t die before he got to the
hospital—whatever you did to him is the second reason. What
did you do? And how did you do it?”

The shock. I explained to Dad what happened when I
touched Zach’s chest—something I hadn’t even told Rachel yet.
And I explained that it wasn’t the first time—simply the most
important
time.
She knew that he
and
I had
a powerful
connection—she just didn’t know
how
strong it really was.

Dad sat there in awe. They
both
sat there in awe. “I
don’t know any other way to say this so I’m just going to come
out with it. I think you brought him back from the dead.”

Now it was my turn to be awestruck. “I did
what
?”

“All fancy medical terms aside, if Clay hadn’t taken the
brunt of that bullet; Zach would have probably died instantly.
If that bullet had struck him even a hair higher or to the right,
he wouldn’t still be alive. He lost an incredible amount of blood
as it was but his heart rhythm was stronger when he got here
than it should have been without defibrillation of some sort.
Any way you look at it, the deck was stacked in his favor which
makes his condition now even more puzzling.”

I
knew
that something
else had to be wrong.
If
everything
had been okay, Rachel and
I would
have been
allowed to see Zach already.

“What’s wrong with my brother?” Rachel asked through
a sudden onslaught of tears.

“I’m not quite sure, Rachel. We hooked him up to an
EEG to check for brain damage since I didn’t know for certain
how long he’d gone without oxygen.
The results don’t look
normal. I’ve never seen anything like it. I wish that I could tell
you that he’s going to be okay, but I don’t know that for sure.
All I know is that luck’s been with him so far and we need to
hope and pray for the best. I consulted with a neurosurgeon
that I used to work with back in Trinity. He’ll be here
tomorrow to run some more tests. Until then, we will continue
to monitor Zach for any changes.”

Slowly, I began to rock back and forth in my seat.
No.
He survived the gunshot so that meant that he was going to be
okay. He survived the surgery so that meant that he was going
to be okay. He loved me enough to be willing to die for me so
that meant that he was definitely going to be okay. Right?

Dad handed Rachel a box of tissues then asked me if I
was alright. What a stupid question! Of course I wasn’t
alright
.
The love of my life was lying in a hospital bed unresponsive and
it was
my fault. “No, I’ll be alright when Zach is alright.
Alright?” I snapped back sarcastically. “Can I please see him
now?”

“Yes but only for a few minutes. He’s been through a lot
today and I don’t want to overstimulate him. Follow me.”

I trailed down the hallway behind him like a zombie.
This
was
all just a terrible nightmare.
It had to be.
My
nightmares were vivid and felt more real to me than this did. I
was going to wake up any second now. I was going to be in my
bed, awake, and cursing my alarm clock like usual. As hard as I
tried to convince myself of that, I knew it wasn’t the truth. This
was real. Losing Zach forever was a distinct possibility. And if I
lost Zach, I would lose myself, too.

As we entered the elevator, I heard the wheelchair
bound lady shout one more time.

 

“Ralph, come get your dinner!”

At first, I simply found her tone and volume annoying.
But after I heard the story behind that phrase, hearing it again
frightened me.
I knew what was wrong with Zach.
He was
stuck between the past and the present—like I was the night
Lee died. I needed to find a way to bring him back. Soon.

32. The Root of the Problem

“Collecting the eggs” had become a secret code between
us
over the years—even Grandma didn’t know the special
meaning behind it.
For some reason, we had our deepest
conversations while performing that simple chore.
Grandpa
once
said that while he was
collecting
eggs, he
was
also
collecting his thoughts. So anytime I had something weighing
on my mind, I would call and tell him that I needed to collect
some eggs with him. He was always more than happy to have
me.

“Grandpa, I have a lot of eggs to collect,” I said with a
sigh.

“I know you do, Squirt. I know more than you might
think I do—starting with the fact that I knew you would end up
here eventually.” He knelt down and gingerly plucked an egg
from beneath a hen and then patted her on the head.
Ralph
was not amused.
She squawked at his indignity and pecked
defiantly at his pant leg. He chuckled like always and moved on
to the next hen. “I know what’s wrong, Squirt, but I’ll let you
tell it to me in your own time and in your own way.”

“I’m the reason you died, Grandpa. I’d just started to
begin to forgive myself for that—thanks to Ruby—when Dad
brought the whole subject back up again. That’s when I really
started to think about the ramifications of what I’d done that
night—how it’s affected my life since then.” I paused before
saying the one thing that I hadn’t shared with anyone else yet—
not even Ruby. “When you died, a part of Grandma died with
you.
She
was
lost without you.
I think she
gave up on
everything after you were gone. I feel like I killed her, too.”

“You know what I think, Squirt? I think you think too
much. When’s the last time you had fun? And I mean,
real
fun?
Took an entire day and stopped analyzing life and started living
it instead? When’s the last time you set your responsibilities
aside and acted like a teenager? You’ve grown up a lot since
the last time I saw you. A little
too
much if you ask me.”

I was taken aback.
If there was one thing Grandpa
taught me, it was the value of hard work. Or at least that’s what
I
thought
he’d taught me.
It
had
been a long time since I’d
dropped everything I needed to do in favor of doing something
I
wanted
to do. But probably not as long as he thought.

“I know I work a lot now and concentrate on school
harder than I did when you were still alive, but I’ve done a lot of
fun things with Ruby since we met.”

That’s when he gave me the look. That “Grandpa is
about to say something well beyond wise and you best pay
attention” look. That “you may think you’re grown up now but
you’re still just a squirt” look. What he said to me next was
unexpected and far more profound than I could have imagined.
And it made me realize that I had more eggs to collect than I
thought I did.

“But did you do those fun things
with
her or
for
her?
There’s a big difference between the two.”

I stopped dead, my hand still planted beneath Ralph’s
bottom and clutching the last egg.
I knew exactly what he
meant by that but I didn’t have a concrete answer. “Well,” I said
as I tossed it around in my brain, “A little of both, I guess.
Making
her
happy makes
me
happy. When I see her smile, I feel
better inside.”

“That’s the root of all of your problems right there. You
live your life to make other people happy. First it was me, then
your dad, and now Ruby.
You’re forgetting about the most
important person in your life, Squirt—you.”

He was right but he was forgetting about something
important, too. “But the last time I did something purely to
make
myself
happy, you died.” I sat back down on my bucket
again and cried.

I sat there and thought back to that night, to how happy
I was when Misty invited me to that party. I’d had a crush on
her since elementary school.
Back then, she was quiet and
shy—just like I was.
I was too afraid to ask her to be my
girlfriend. What if she said no? While Rachel was busy kissing
every boy on the playground, I was dreaming of how I wanted
my first kiss to be with Misty.

And it was, too. I ignored the fact that she’d changed
dramatically since those days. I guess maybe I thought that my
love could change her back. But I was wrong. I wasted my time
and killed my grandfather in the process. Then I realized that
now that he was dead, he knew exactly what I was doing that
night that made me forget all about helping him.
I was even
more ashamed of myself than I already was.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m trying to help you
see that you need more balance in your life. I’m not suggesting
that you become selfish.
You just need to learn that the only
place you can find happiness is inside yourself—not inside
other people.”

“But making other people happy makes
me
happy!” I
protested.

“Does it really? If you were given one extra day in your
life and
told to spend
it doing
nothing
but make yourself
happy—knowing
that
nothing
bad
would
come
of
it
afterwards—what would you do?”

That was a really tough question. How
would
I spend
that day? I thought about it long and hard before answering
him. “Well, I would probably start off the day by going to the
shelter—not to work—but to play with the animals.
Taking
care of them is time consuming—I wish I had time to throw
some tennis balls across the lawn and watch the dogs all go
nuts chasing them.”

“That sounds like fun. What would you do after that?”

Grandpa made this question seem like it was a game but
it felt more like a test to me. A pop quiz—pass or fail only—
that determined whether or not I sucked at life. “I would want
to hang out in the kitchen with Mom and Rachel while they
made chocolate chip cookies. I love eating the raw dough more
than I do the cookies themselves. And it’s fun to watch how
infuriated they get when I eat spoonful after spoonful.
They
never
really
get mad at me—it’s all just for fun.”

Grandpa nodded his head in agreement. “I used to do
the same thing to your grandmother. She would always tell me
that I was going to get salmonella poisoning from the raw eggs
in the dough. And I would always remind
her
that those eggs
came from the healthiest hens in the state of Pennsylvania.”

“That reminds
me
of something!” I said with a laugh.
“Mom used to tell me the same thing! I knew what salmonella
was but when Rachel was younger, she thought it meant that I
was going to turn into a salmon from eating the dough! Even
once she knew the truth, she would still say it. At least I
think
she knows the truth now.” My sister lived in such a happy little
bubble filled with rainbows and unicorns. I wasn’t trying to be
mean by laughing at her.
I just wanted her to stay in that
bubble as long as she possibly could. Life outside the bubble
was harsh.

“That little Rachel is one in a million!” Grandpa
exclaimed. “What’s next on the list?”

“Football. I never really enjoyed playing it but I will
always
love watching it. I would want to sit down and watch
the game with Dad and Boone like we used to—a guys only
kind of thing. No girls around for any of us to try to impress or
behave for.
Burping contests and foul language. Pizza, chips,
hot wings—the works. I want to swear at the TV like a drunken
sailor and get fist bumped for it.”

Grandpa chuckled over that one. “Me, too, Squirt. Me,
too.” We reminisced about the Super Bowl party we had at our
house the year the Steelers won.
So much food, so much
swearing. Those were the good times. When he got quiet all of
a sudden, I knew something big was cooking inside his head
and the pot was inevitably going to boil over onto me.

“What about Ruby?
Would you want to spend time
with her? You haven’t mentioned her at all, Squirt.”

Indeed, I hadn’t. Even with all of the other issues I had
in my life, she was by far the most complicated piece of my
puzzle.
I needed to decide exactly how to fit her into my life.
Assuming I still had a life, that is. Right now, I wasn’t ready to
go back there. And I wasn’t sure if I ever would be, either.

33. Meltdown

Dad needed Garrett and Diane to sign some medical
consent forms so while they took care of the paperwork, Rachel
and I were allowed in to see Zach.
When I walked into the
room and heard the humming and beeping of the numerous
machines hooked up to him, I understood perfectly what the
Holocaust sounded like.
sounded like loss
and
It sounded like fear and doubt.
It
devastation.
It sounded like the