Splinters (21 page)

“The bad guy looks too much like the good one.”

I wince. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Nah, I understand. But look at him, Al. He’s as nervous as you are.”

I really look and can see what he means. Dean’s sitting down, but looks like he’d like to get up and pace. He sits back, leans forward on his knees, and then sits back again. He was looking over here and now can’t seem to do it. Is he worried I’m going to leave?

Just thinking he might be trying as much as I am to form a healthy relationship makes me take one step and then another. Duke’s right there with me and, though I feel my tension grow, there’s also a wash of relief at seeing Dean smile uncertainly. He’s not so frightening now. He stands up to greet us, and I put out my hand.

“Hi,” he says as his slightly damp hand envelops mine.

“Hi, Dean.”

It’s easier up close. I can see the subtle differences between them that goes further than just Duke’s mustache and Dean’s lack of one. Dean’s eyes look darker, less golden brown and more plain brown. The fullness of his lips, wrinkles beside his eyes, color of his tan, they’re all different enough from Duke to make Dean separate. That’s better.

We each sit down, and Duke takes my hand, threading our fingers. Dean sees and closes his eyes, sighs.

“You have to be okay with this,” I tell him. “You might’ve brought me into his life for the wrong reasons, but I’m here and I’m staying.”

Dean nods. “I know. I regret what I thought and what I did.”

“Is that a line?”

His eyes flick back and forth between us and he shifts in his seat. “No. I… Everything’s clearer when I’m on my meds. It’s, uh, like someone else was drivin’. What I remember.”

“And Duke being gay? Being with me? How do you feel about that now?”

I know I’m interrogating him and part of me feels like I’m being intolerably rude, but these are the things I must know.

Dean nods at the floor and stares there as he answers. “It’s still somethin’ I don’t understand. Being gay.
My brother
being gay. But I want him—” He looks up at Duke. “I want you to be happy, so if that means lovin’ a man, so be it.” He shrugs and returns to inspecting the linoleum. “Ain’t like I got any room to complain. Nobody’s gonna ever love my psycho ass.”

“You’re not psycho,” Duke says. “Your issues are treatable and you’re gonna be fine.”

Dean offers him a small smile.

I snicker. “Is he the bossy one?”

Dean’s smile expands. “Yep.”

I wiggle into Duke’s side, and he chuckles.

There’s a fond look on Dean’s face now. I have to believe he does want to make this effort, does regret his actions, and… Well, it makes sense to try right along with him.

“So, Dean, how about you and I start fresh?” I offer my hand to him again.

He blinks a couple times, then clears his throat and swallows hard. “I-I’d really appreciate that opportunity there, Al.” He clasps my hand more firmly than before. “I really would.”

“Good.” I pump his hand and then let go. “I think we’ll be okay.”

As Duke gazes at me, there’s such love in his eyes and the smile on his lips. I feel stronger, far more secure, and eager for what’s next. We can do this. No longer splintered, we’re working on becoming whole again. I believe we’ll make it.

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It all started with a blog, a lunch receipt, and the hope for true love
.

In 2010, with the encouragement of his blog followers, Thorny Sterling wrote his email address on the back of a receipt and gave it to a returning customer who’d caught his eye. One email and a four-hour phone call later, their fates were sealed. Thorny and his husband Jazz have been together ever since.

On his blog, Thorny writes about daily life as a twenty-something gay genderfluid who attends college in Ohio. In his free time, Thorny paints both digitally and in acrylics and writes gay (M/M) romance fiction. In the summer of 2014, Thorny published his first novel while also taking steps to sell his artwork online. He often donates a portion of his profits from art sales to various LGBT equality and veterans support charities.

Someday soon, Thorny hopes to become a teacher and legally marry his husband.

You can visit Thorny at:

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http://thornysterling.com

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