Authors: Emma Briar
35
ONE DAY BLURS into the next.
I didn’t hand in a new resignation letter and since no one has marched me off the premises yet, I assume I’m still employed. Some days I think I will, I should, but a fantasy keeps playing over and over in my head and I can’t give it up, not yet.
One fantasy with many variations.
I spend many hours at my desk, lost in scenes where Roman strides through those glass doors and straight up to my desk.
“I have no choice but to forgive you, Keegan,” he says as he wraps me in his arms. “I can’t go on without you.”
Or…
“We have a problem, Ms. Lynch,” he says sternly. “It would seem you’ve broken another ground rule.”
Or…
“Of course I forgive you, baby.” He nudges my chin up, his gaze sinking into me with the kind of heat that melts into my panties. “After all, my actions were unforgivable and you forgave me.”
I have forgiven him. Completely. I forgave him that night I sat across from him at the dinner table and heard his story. I could forgive Roman anything. That was never the issue. And now I know. He was driven to desperate measures in a desperate situation. He is not
that
man. The domineering control freak. I didn’t like it, not one bit. But I understand.
I have a harder time forgiving myself. I ran so hard and fast, at the first scare. It’s what I’m good at. I’ve been doing it since I lost Kyle and Lucy.
I ran and now I’m stuck with nothing but regret and a fantasy that lives only in my head when it could have been a living dream.
So many versions, so many delusional hopes, that when Roman does step through those doors on Friday afternoon, I just stare at him, my mouth slack, convinced I’ve conjured him up from my fantasy and that I’m seeing things. He’s impeccably dressed in a dark suit, a crisp white shirt, a pale blue tie. His hair slides over his temples and scrapes his sculptured jaw.
He catches my eye, smiles, but walks on through the office and climbs the stairs to the upper level.
Fuck.
My heart gives an erratic thump and my throat is instantly dry. He’s probably here to restart the Kleighnorm project, I tell myself firmly.
“Put your tongue back in your mouth,” Dana whispers, laughing as she rolls her chair up to me. “You’re panting.”
I roll my eyes at her. “I’m not.”
“You totally are,” she snorts. “Not that I’m blaming you. Just pointing out a fact.”
I give her an evil look.
She shakes her head, laughing harder, but rolls her chair back to her own desk.
I drag in a deep breath, twiddling a pencil between my fingers, staring at the notepad I’ve doodled into oblivion.
Waiting…
For what, I’m not sure. But it seems impossible that this day will end without a run-in with Roman, a confrontation, something…
The tension creeps up on me, stringing me tighter than a bow, and I startle when my laptop gives a soft
ping.
I shake the mouse to wake the screen, frowning as I look for the culprit.
Another
ping,
and a new-email notification banner in the bottom corner. I click it, see three emails from Roman Rocchi.
My stomach lurches as I open the most recent one.
I wasn’t sure if you were ignoring me, then I noticed the extent of your unread emails. I took the liberty of setting your notification alerts.
P.S. I didn’t read any of your emails.
“Bastard,” I mutter beneath my breath. He’s been in my account again! Roman may not be a total control freak, but he definitely lurks in the general vicinity.
And a part of me loves it, that careless arrogance.
Well, I love it when I’m free to defy all I want without intolerable consequences.
I quickly check the other two emails in descending time order.
Keegan?
Can we talk? I’m in my office.
I jump up, bristling as I make my way to his office. I don’t even realise I’ve forgotten all about the tension and nerves knotting my veins until I’ve knocked and entered, until I’m standing there, scowling into his disgracefully beautiful face.
“You hacked my account?” I blurt out. “Seriously?”
“It seemed the easiest way to get your attention.” Roman rises from behind the desk, his fingertips pressing down on top, a grin sliding over his jaw. “And maybe I needed you a little mad.”
“Mad?” I prod the door closed and walk deeper into the room.
His grin fades. “You should be mad at me, Keegan. I’m a cold bastard.”
He waves a hand at the visitor chair across from him and I don’t know what to think as I settle into the chair. My pulse literally shivers with a fresh assault of nerves as I wonder if this is our final goodbye.
Roman sinks into his chair. “You’re mangling that poor lip.”
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“Don’t be sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair as his gaze washes over me, into me. “It’s just damn distracting and I’m trying to behave myself here.”
Oh.
The shivers in my pulse spread into a tingling heat over my skin. It’s the silken tone to his voice. The stone-baked warmth in his eyes.
His hand is still his hair, his jaw cocked, his brow furrowed. “When I pushed you away in Scotland, Keegan, it wasn’t easy, but you should know that I meant to go through with it. I was shit scared when I found out that the Lamborghini had been sabotaged. I needed you as far away from me as possible and I intended to keep it that way.”
My throat is suddenly dry. What is he saying?
Roman sighs. “But then circumstances brought you back to me and the other night at dinner… The danger was over, and all I wanted was to beg for your forgiveness, beg you to stay, but I couldn’t get past the image of you and Liam together. Keegan,
I
couldn’t forgive.”
My heart plummets. I expected this, but the confirmation still opens up a bleak pit inside me.
“Sending you away from me that first time was hard,” Roman says as he stands, walks around toward me. “The second time was impossible. I can’t do it.”
He leans against the desk right next to me, so close, his legs brush the arm of my chair. His gaze rests on me as he leans in. “So here I am, begging you to forgive me.”
The sudden reversal of my reality slams into me.
I can’t breathe.
He reaches for me, the pad of his thumb stroking down my cheek. “Will you give us another chance?”
“Roman, I forgave you the moment I understood what you’d been going through.”
He opens his arms and I rise slowly, stepping into his embrace, my heart sky-rocketing, my chin tipped up so I can look into his eyes.
“I meant what I said,” I say thickly. “If I’d known, I would have done everything differently. I’m so sorry about Liam. Can you really forgive me?”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, baby.” His hands caress up and down my back. “I pushed you into a corner. You have no blame here, only me. It was myself I had to forgive.”
My brow creases as I look into his regret. “You do know I didn’t have sex with Liam, right?”
“No,” he murmurs as his arms tighten around me. “I did not know that.”
His head lowers, and then his mouth crushes mine in an urgent, exploring kiss that sweeps a melting wave of desire through me. My knees soften and I fold into him, between his thighs, my arms looping around his neck, and for a long moment I’m lost to Roman Rocchi, my addiction, my everything.
“Let’s get out of here,” he says huskily, sweeping a kiss over the corner of my mouth.
“I can’t,” I groan, feebly pushing out of his arms far enough to look at him. “I’m working, remember?”
A wicked gleam glints in his grey eyes and I punch him lightly in the chest. “Don’t even think about invoking that shitty ‘I’m the boss’ card.”
“I’m not,” he says glibly.
Liar!
“I am thinking about buying you your own damn company, then you can be the boss and do as you please.”
The way he says it, it’s not a thought. It’s a vow.
“Don’t you dare.” I slide my hands through his hair and grip, staring him in the eye. “Roman, I’m serious. Some things, I need to do my way.”
“Anything you want, Keegan, everything you want,” he says softly. “Always.”
Another vow.
My heart cracks open as I look into his serious eyes. I’m completely bared, at my most vulnerable, and I’ve never felt so safe, so strong.
“Anything?” I say huskily, rubbing up against him suggestively.
“Since you ask so nicely…”
Before I can blink, he’s rolled us around and I’m sitting on the desk with him wedged between my thighs. His hand slides up beneath my skirt, a sensual caress along my thigh that heats my blood.
“Here?” I squeak.
“Here…” He covers my mouth in a tongue-thrusting kiss, then brushes that kiss along my jaw. “Tonight in my bed. All weekend long.”
I throw my head back as his finger slips inside my panties. I’m wet for him, throbbing for his touch. I’m melting into a puddle and the bastard grins with satisfaction when he dips inside me.
He strokes my seam, teases my nub, strokes again and then thrusts two fingers so deep inside me, I almost scream.
My lids are heavy, my eyes fluttering at him half-mast. “If you keep that up, I’ll explode.”
“That’s the idea, baby.” He strokes some more, teases, his grin slating into an expression of raw hunger.
“Roman, inside me, now, please,” I groan, arching up against his hand. “I need all of you.”
He doesn’t hesitate. He stands back to unzip his fly and then he’s yanking down my panties and pulling my legs around his waist. His cock nudges my wet entrance and he surges inside with a single thrust that rips a hoarse cry of pleasure from my throat.
“Fuck,” he growls. “You feel so good, baby.”
He cups my backside with both hands, squeezing as he lifts me up and even closer. His next thrust angles deeper, hits a sweet spot hard as he pounds into me, his gaze hooked into mine, our hearts and souls entwining as my orgasm erupts and he let’s go. He slams into me with a guttural grunt and shoots his hot seed deep inside me, driving me to another high that shatters through my entire body.
Roman wraps me close, his cock still buried deep inside me, his breathing ragged.
I’m utterly boneless, spent, but I’ve not yet come down from that high. My heart feels as ragged as his breaths against my cheek. My heart feels molten, filled, as if it’s trapped the overflow from that intense orgasm and then I know, of course I know, what’s happening to me.
Roman gets there first.
“I love you, baby.” He nudges my chin up and his gaze sinks into me. “I love you so goddamn much.”
Epilogue
MY HEAD’S BENT, my eyes glued to the laptop resting on my thighs, but dammit all, hot shivers steal over my skin. I’m determined to get these figures to add up, and Roman’s supposed to be going through some or other contract but he’s not. He’s eye-fucking me.
“Stop that,” I say sternly and I don’t look up.
I don’t know why I bother. I literally feel him turn the heat up.
And then he says in that deep, rumbling baritone, “Are you in the mood, Mrs. Rocchi?”
Those hot shivers sink into my core and my panties are instantly soaked.
I look up, wet my lips, desire flooding me as I absorb the wicked intentions stamped into the ridges and hollows of his harshly beautiful face.
“Oh, I’m definitely in the mood,” I groan. “But ten minutes, Roman. I’ve got to finish this.”
Because I know I won’t get to it later, not once he’s done with me. We don’t do this often, maybe once or twice a month. The sessions are so intense, I think we
both
need the weeks of blissful vanilla sex in between to recover. And yes, I’m shameless, but sometimes I sidle up to him, throw my arms around his neck and whisper huskily into his ear,
“I’m so, so in the mood, Mr. Rocchi.”
“Take five extra to book yourself in for a spa day tomorrow.” He stands and walks around the back of the sofa I’m seated on, leaning in, his breath tickling my ear. “You’re going to very, very sore, baby.”
My clit quivers and knots of apprehension twist low in my abdomen. But this is part of the thrill. I never know what Roman has in store for me, but I trust him completely. This is the one time, the only time, I give in one hundred percent to his domination, and I absolutely love it.
I crave it.
He presses a kiss to my earlobe and then his touch is gone.
I glance over my shoulder, a smile melting my face as I watch his slow stride take him out of the library.
Too late.
These numbers will have to wait for tomorrow.
I’m about to snap the laptop closed when I decide to take his advice and book myself and Dana in for a spa day tomorrow. It’s a Thursday, but this is one of the perks of being my own boss. I never did let Roman buy out a company for me, but I didn’t shun his help when Liam, Dana and I decided to open up our own Web Marketing and Branding company. We didn’t need much of a financial investment, and the Rocchi name initially brought in valuable connections and clients to get us started.
When I enter our bedroom, there’s no sight of Roman, just the sound of the shower through the open bathroom door. I contemplate joining him, then change my mind. I had a long bath after dinner and besides, I know how much Roman likes to find me waiting for him, perched on the bed like an unwrapped gift.
I strip quickly and take up my position, my palms pressed to the bed at my side, my thighs slightly parted, my breasts jutting up. I’m swollen with want, my clit tingling with need, and it just gets worse when Roman steps out of the bathroom.
He’s pulled on a pair of jeans that ride low on his hips. His chest is naked, ripped with lean muscle, a granite sculpture that always puts an itch in my fingers to go exploring.
A grin snakes across his jaw as his heated gaze rakes over me. “God, you are so damn beautiful. You have no idea how much I love you, baby.”
My heart swells with our love as I look deep into his eyes. He tells me this a hundred times each day and the impact never lessens. “Oh, I have a mild idea.”
He chuckles, shoving a hand through his damp hair. His gorgeous mouth softens as he walks up to me. “Do you know what I want to do to you?”
Oh my.
He doesn’t always tell me beforehand, and sometimes knowing makes it worse. In the best possible way. Tension pulls in my stomach. Not fear. Not even dread, really. Even when there’s a little pain involved, the only time I scream is when I scream his name, when I scream for more.
“On all fours, baby, with you bottom to me.”
I slide my legs in beneath me and turn onto my hands and knees. I’m not sure exactly how he wants me, but Roman’s hands come all over me, caressing warmth as he guides my body until I end up with my elbows pressed to the bed, my thighs spread wide, my spine dipped in and my butt pushed so far up and out, my slit is in the air.
He trails kisses up my spine as he folds over me from behind, the rough denim at his crotch scraping over my slickened, sensitised slit. His hands slip down my side and around to palm my breasts. His thumbs rub my nipples into hard pebbles while his kiss sweeps over my collar bone and up the column of my throat as I arch my neck up to him on a groan.
“I’m going to double fuck you,” he says, a silken promise wrapped in steel.
I swallow hard. This is new. I have no idea what he means, but my body is already tingling to find out.
When he unfolds from around me, I open my eyes and hang my head, my limbs already weak from want, and then I see him crossing to his wardrobe. He hunches down, opening the drawer along the bottom.
My pussy creams. He could come back with anything. That drawer is quite literally a box of wicked toys, including a flogger I’m intimately acquainted with. That was an intense, mind-shattering introduction. My clit always feels like such a nub of exposed nerve-endings, but when he tapped the flogger against me, there was no pain, just the frayed leather teasing along my seam and that
tap, tap, tap
that spiralled me into a feverish climax.
But it’s not the flogger tonight.
Roman returns with two vibrators and a tube of lubricant. One is thick, nearly as big as him with an engorged head. The other is slender and far more elegant.
I have a faint idea now of where this is going and my butt muscles clench. Roman has fucked my ass often enough and I love it, but I’ve never taken a vibrator there and there are two vibrators.
I’m going to double fuck you.
There’s no way I can take both at the same time.
Roman sets everything down on the bed beside me and then leans in to kiss me, a passionate, devouring kiss that chases my concerns away. Not concerns, really. But I’m seriously apprehensive.
His hands stay on me, smoothing down my spine and over my bottom as he retreats to stand behind me. He spreads my lower cheeks and a moment later I feel his finger circling my puckered hole, spreading a thick layer of cool gel around and around, dipping inside to make sure my back entrance is slick.
A hard rubber tip prods there, and his palm kneads my buttocks cheeks as he nudges the vibrator into my narrow passage, deeper and deeper until it’s fully seated. The vibrator is much thinner than Roman’s cock, and yet I feel stuffed.
My core swells with a slow pulse at the constant pressure bearing down on my inner walls. Delicious sensations peel over me and then Roman grabs my bums, pushing me up even higher, and his mouth comes between my legs from behind.
“Oh, God…” I groan as he licks my seam, his tongue firm and relentless, stabbing into me, prodding my throbbing nub.
Hot tension coils low in my abdomen and I’m so close, too close… I bite my lip. “Roman…”
His tongue falls away, leaving me alone and panting.
Not for long. I hear him unzip his fly and moments later he’s with me again.
He grabs my bum cheeks and the head of his cock nudges, slides in, so slowly, stretching me as he squeezes in and I feel every inch of his silken erection as I take his full length. I don’t even know how, and with both my passages filled, I’m a mass of open-ended nerves.
If he so much as moves…
He moves, withdrawing gently, and a slow ache rolls deep inside me as he pushes in again. I’m pulsing all over, my back passage, my inner canal. I pulse and start to clamp.
“Not yet, baby,” he growls. “Wait for it.”
I bite down on my back teeth. I swear I’m sweating lust.
“God, baby,” he says. “You’re so damn tight.”
“You wonder why?” I pant.
He chuckles, a raw, guttural sound as he withdraws again, and this time he slides the vibrator out partially with his cock. The pressure releases, and then he thrusts deep. A double fuck. Both his cock and the vibrator thrust into me at the same time. There’s no space inside me for this, I feel every inch of Roman and the vibrator with an intensity that turns my entire lower region into one massive G-Spot.
My climax swells and I can’t bite down on it anymore.
Roman shows no mercy. He double-thrusts hard and deep, pounding into me and there are no individual sweet spots, I ache and burn along every inch of him.
“Roman,” I scream out. “Oh, God…”
I shoot straight over the edge and into an abyss of dark and light, hell and heaven, the throbbing tension of my orgasm and the painful pleasure that grips me.
When I come down, gasping, my limbs trembling, Roman’s arm slips around my waist to hold me steady. His cock is still buried deep inside, rigid, and the vibrator still fills my back passage, and he keeps me like that a long moment while I absorb the aftershocks of that mind-shattering climax.
“You were amazing, baby,” he murmurs, sliding the vibrator out as he withdraws.
Suddenly I’m empty, a mess of swollen aches.
He shifts onto the bed and scoops his arms around my waist, rolling me onto my side as he moves in close, spooning me from behind, his erection nestled in my crack.
“Too much?” he says, his lips brushing down my throat.
“It’s always too much,” I say, my breaths quivering, my pulse ragged as hell. I stretch up alongside, relishing his hard, warm body closing in around me, grounding me, as I twist to look into his eyes. “It’s never too much.”
A wicked grin moulds his jaw and glints in his stone-baked eyes.
“Good, because we’re only half done,” he says hoarsely, his voice strained with unspent desire. “Remember what I said? I’m going to double fuck you.”
“Isn’t that what’s just happened?”
“Hmm…” He presses his lips to mine. “Now we’re going to swap and do it all over again.”
I should have known there was a reason he hadn’t come.
Bastard.
Where the hell does he get that kind of control?
He stretches behind him, and when he folds around me again, he lays the other vibrator on the bed in front of me. It’s thick and long with a bulbous head, shaped very much like Roman’s cock and almost as big.
My stomach pulls tight. I’m so tender, so achy, I’m not sure I can take anymore. Both my passages feel used, thoroughly abused.
“Wrap your arms around my neck, baby,” Roman says huskily.
My entire body arches alongside his as I do so. He spreads my lower cheeks, his cock nudging inside me, and then grips my hips and holds me firmly in place as he surges deep inside me. He fills me, so much than the vibrator. A delicious thrill burns through my veins and I think yes, okay, maybe I can take a little more.
His one arms slips beneath me and cups my breast, pulling me up hard against his chest. His other hand caresses over my hips and find its way between my thighs.
“Put your leg back, baby, over me, open wide for me.”
I slide my leg back, hooking my ankle around his, and I’m wide open for his fingers to stroke and tease. I’m slick with my own juices, still swollen from my last orgasm, and with his cock buried in my back passage, it isn’t long before I’m filling up with want and a feverish longing.
His fingers leave, and a moment later I feel the bulbous head of the vibrator prod me. I tense, my inner walls clamping in protest.
“Roman, I can’t…” I whimper.
“You can, baby,” he groans hotly against my throat. “Trust me.”
I do trust him, and my muscles release some of that tension, but I don’t know how he thinks I can fit both him and this vibrator. I almost don’t. He works the vibrator in a short inch, out again, then in a little deeper, stretching me, filling me until I feel as if I’m splitting at the seams. His cock stirs in my anal passage and I feel it with the intensity of an earthquake that shudders through my body, the epicentre throbbing in my clit.
“Relax against me,” he says, his voice a soothing balm. “I’m not going to thrust, okay? You’re too full for that. I know your limits, baby. Relax into me and enjoy the ride.”
My breath shudders out and my spine softens against his hard, rippled chest.
His palms cups between my thighs, covering my entrance to keep the vibrator seated, his other hand fondling my breast hard as he rocks against me, his cock rolling deep into me instead of thrusting. His mouth covers my ear, his tongue licking and thrusting, his heavy breaths sending tingling shockwaves through me and the endless rocking, rolling motion is like a deep muscle massage.
A slow orgasm begins to cream, layer upon layer of decadent waves heating through me.
“I can’t hold on any longer, baby,” he grunts. “This is going to get intense, okay? Stay with me, baby, ride this with me.”
I’m already riding the wave, lost to the sensations of him rocking deeper, harder, his groin grinding my bottom. There’s nothing Roman can give me that I can’t take. He can thrust and pound, slam into me. I’m lost, filled with him, the orgasm creaming through me so deliciously gentle, so erotically intense, I never want it to end. I could live in this moment, in these sensations.