Spring According to Humphrey (10 page)

I understood his confusion. ‘Who are
you
?’ I squeaked.

‘Sorry I don’t know the ropes,’ the man said. ‘I’m just filling in for Aldo! His wife had twins. A boy and a girl.’

‘YAY-YAY-YAY!’ I squeaked. ‘Did you hear that, Og?’

‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ Og replied.

The man smiled. ‘Aldo said you guys have a lot of personality.’

Aldo has a lot of personality, too. I tried to
picture a baby girl who looked like his wife, Maria. And a son who looked like Aldo. Did
he
have a moustache like his dad?

The man took his broom and began to sweep the floor. He didn’t do the funny things Aldo did – like balancing a broom on one finger. But he swept and dusted, straightened the tables and worked very hard.

‘I’m telling you – even if you can’t understand me – I really need this job,’ he said.

‘But it’s Aldo’s job!’ I squeaked.

I was happy when Og agreed. ‘BOING-BOING!’

‘He’s about to graduate from college, and if he gets a teaching job, I hope I can move up to being a full-time caretaker,’ he said. ‘Right now, I just fill in when someone can’t make it.’

He stopped talking, but I kept listening. After a while, he spoke again.

‘I have a wife and kids, too,’ he said. ‘The shop where I worked closed down, and I’ve only been able to find part-time work.’ He stopped and looked over at us. ‘Hey, why am I talking to a hamster and a frog?’

‘Because we’re listening!’ I squeaked.

‘BOING!’ Og said.

The room looked fresh and shiny as the man stopped and leaned on his broom. ‘I’d do anything to get this job,’ he said. ‘As long as Aldo has a better job. He’s a good guy.’

‘The BEST-BEST-BEST!’ I agreed.

The man was finished, but as he pulled his cart towards the door, he said, ‘My name is Bob. And I hope I see you again.’

He switched off the light and I sat there in the dark for a long, long time.

‘Og, Aldo wants to be a teacher,’ I squeaked. ‘And I want what Aldo wants. But I never thought about him not being here every night.’

Og leaped into the water side of his tank and splashed around.

‘If Aldo can’t be here every night, I hope Bob gets the job,’ I said.

Then I moved towards the window and looked up at the moon. ‘I’ll miss Aldo so much,’ I squeaked. ‘But Bob needs a job, too. And he did give us treats.’

‘BOING-BOING!’

I was glad that Og agreed with me.

12 Family Matters

The next morning, my classmates ran over to our table to check on the tadpoles – and they didn’t even say ‘good morning’ to me.

To squeak the truth, I was trying
not
to look at the tadpoles.

‘Look!’ Simon shouted as he raced to our table. ‘Wow!’

I couldn’t help it. I hurried to the side of my cage to look at my neighbours. There they were, swimming around their aquarium. Their heads and legs had changed overnight.

They didn’t exactly look like frogs, but they were definitely not specks any more.

My friends all crowded around the aquarium.
Joey opened his notebook and began to sketch.

When Cassie arrived, her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled. ‘I can’t believe it! I found another nest in the front garden and it has four eggs in it!’

Everyone gathered around her to see a photo she’d taken.

‘Awwww!’ they said. And, ‘They’re so cute.’

‘I’m calling the first eggs Eeny, Meeny and Moe,’ Cassie said. ‘Now I have to think of four more names.’

‘We still need to give the tadpoles names,’ Helpful-Holly said.

‘How about Nog and, um, Yog? After their Uncle Og,’ Daniel suggested.

Og leaped up and twanged, ‘BOING-BOING!’

My friends giggled, but I didn’t see what was so funny.

‘How about Dippy?’ Kelsey said. ‘Dippy and Lippy. Dippy and Hippy.’

Thomas shook his head. ‘Those aren’t good names. I still think they should be Tad and Pole.’

No one else liked that idea.

‘Max,’ Simon said. ‘Max and, um …’

‘Mickey,’ Tall-Paul said. ‘Max and Mickey.’

Rosie frowned. ‘What makes you think they’re boys? One of them might be a girl.’

‘
Both
of them might be girls,’ Nicole said.

They argued – in a friendly way – and finally Rosie said, ‘Flip and Flap. That doesn’t sound like boys
or
girls.’

I liked those names. And so did my friends.

‘Welcome to Room Twenty-six, Flip and Flap,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘Now, students, please take your seats.’

We started the day by reviewing my classmates’ family trees. It was fascinating to hear the names of my friends’ parents. Next, Mrs Brisbane showed them where to add their grandparents’ names.

‘Grandma and Grandpa!’ Harry said.

Simon grinned. ‘Bubbe and Zayde!’

‘Abuela and Abuelo,’ Felipe said.

Rolling-Rosie gave him a thumbs-up. ‘Mine, too!’

Goodness, there were so many names for grandmother and grandfather. Poppy and GeeMa. Granny and Gramps. PawPaw and MayMay!

‘One thing’s for sure,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘No matter what you call them, you all love your grandparents. Tonight, please add their real names. First and last. Then we’ll add your aunts, uncles and cousins. I’ll hand out an example that shows you where to put them.’

‘I have a lot of cousins,’ Stop-Talking-Sophie said.

Mrs Brisbane nodded. ‘Then you’ll have a lot of apples on your tree.’

Felipe said, ‘Let’s make Humphrey’s family tree!’

The whole class thought that was a good idea, but I wasn’t sure I had a family tree. Or even a family.

‘Who were Humphrey’s mum and dad?’ Sophie asked. ‘Where did he come from?’

Mrs Brisbane thought for a moment. ‘Ms Mac got him at Pet-O-Rama.’

I didn’t remember my family, but I did remember Pet-O-Rama – and the wonderful day Ms Mac chose me for the classroom pet in Room 26. Of course, I didn’t know she was a substitute for Mrs Brisbane at the time. And I didn’t know she’d be leaving
Longfellow School for a while.

I’m GLAD-GLAD-GLAD she finally came back.

‘Humphrey must have had a family,’ Nicole said.

‘I must have!’ I agreed.

I remembered Carl and some of the other humans who worked at Pet-O-Rama and took care of us in the small animal department. But I didn’t think of them as family. They never even talked to me!

Mrs Brisbane said that when humans or animals grow up, they leave their families and go out on their own. ‘Most of you will move out of your parents’ home when you grow up,’ she said. ‘But smaller animals grow up faster than humans, so they can leave their mothers much sooner. Does anyone here have a dog that they got as a puppy?’

Some hands went up, including Joey’s.

‘Dogs are usually adopted by human families when they’re puppies. How long does it take for a puppy to be ready to leave its mother?’ she asked.

Joey said, ‘Skipper was about eight weeks
old. He wasn’t grown up until he was about a year old. But he still acts like a puppy sometimes.’

‘So it only takes a year for a dog to grow up,’ our teacher continued. ‘And it takes an even shorter time for hamsters to be ready to leave their families.’

‘That’s sad,’ Rosie said.

‘Not really,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘It’s natural. And if Humphrey stayed with his mother or Skipper stayed with his dog family, we wouldn’t be able to have them as pets.’

Mrs Brisbane was right as usual. If I had stayed with my family – or even stayed at Pet-O-Rama – I wouldn’t have the job of a classroom pet. It’s the BEST-BEST-BEST job in the world!

Cassie glanced over at our table. ‘I guess Og doesn’t remember his family. After all, tadpoles are on their own from the very beginning,’ she said.

‘Og looks sad,’ Rosie said.

‘I think he looks as if he’s smiling,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘Look at his mouth.’

I wasn’t sure, but my friends chuckled and
soon the subject changed.

When Mrs Brisbane announced another maths quiz, I scurried to the front of my cage and glanced at Cassie. As usual, she looked worried.

When she glanced over at my cage, I immediately hopped on my wheel and began to SPIN-SPIN-SPIN! Cassie stared at me, and then she closed her eyes and took some deep, long breaths.

Mrs Brisbane passed out the test papers.

Cassie took a few more deep breaths.

I hopped off my wheel and watched her carefully. She didn’t stare at her paper. She didn’t hold her stomach.

Cassie picked up her pencil and began to read the questions. She stopped every now and then to take a good, long breath. And then she wrote down her answers.

She looked over at my cage from time to time and I tried to be encouraging.

‘You can do it, Cassie!’ I said. ‘You don’t have to be perfect – just do your best.’

Cassie finished the test before most of my other classmates. When she was finished, she
sat back in her chair and smiled.

I was smiling, too, though I’m pretty sure no one else knew it.

On her way out of the classroom for lunch, Mrs Brisbane asked Cassie how the maths quiz went.

‘I think I did pretty well,’ Cassie said. ‘And my stomach didn’t hurt.’

At the end of the day, Mrs Brisbane made an announcement. ‘I think some of you know Aldo Amato, our night-time caretaker,’ she said. ‘He’s Richie Rinaldi’s uncle.’

‘Yay, Richie!’ I squeaked. He was one of my friends from last year’s class.

‘Aldo’s wife just gave birth to twins,’ Mrs Brisbane continued with a smile. ‘A boy and a girl. The boy is named Marco, after Aldo’s father. The girl is named Anna, after Maria’s mother.’

My friends began to clap.

Marco and Anna! I didn’t clap my paws, but I loudly squeaked, ‘YES-YES-YES!’

As they filed out of Room 26, I heard my
classmates buzzing about the new babies. They were as excited as I was.

As soon as the classroom was empty, I jiggled the lock-that-doesn’t-lock and scurried over to Og’s tank.

‘Marco and Anna!’ I squeaked. ‘A boy and a girl!’

‘BOING!’ he replied.

Then I glanced over at Flip and Flap, swimming in their aquarium. They were also twins.

I’d almost forgotten that Aldo was my old pal Richie’s uncle. Was Og really an uncle, too?

Suddenly, it seemed as if everybody in the world had a family … except me.

I wasn’t sure whether Aldo would be coming in to clean that night or if it would be Bob or some other stranger. But I wanted to make sure Gigi knew about the twins, so I took a chance and slid down the table leg and raced out of Room 26.

Gigi was still awake when I made my way up to her cage.

‘I’m glad you came, Humphrey,’ she said softly.

‘I wanted to tell you that Aldo’s wife, Maria, had twins. A boy and a girl!’ I said.

‘Twins?’ Gigi seemed confused.

I explained that when humans have two babies at the same time, they’re called twins.

‘Oh,’ Gigi said. ‘That’s very good news.’

‘And that guy who came in to clean last night, he’s just filling in for Aldo,’ I said.

‘Oh,’ Gigi repeated. ‘I was a little scared when he came, but he was nice.’

‘I’m sure Aldo will be back tonight,’ I said.

Gigi moved closer to me. ‘Humphrey, I’m worried about something.’

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked.

‘For the circus night, Ms Mac told us that our booth is called the Clown Toss. Are people really going to throw clowns? That doesn’t sound very nice!’ she said.

It didn’t sound nice at all. Throwing clowns – or animals – isn’t nice at all. Especially if the people are funny and like to make people laugh, like clowns.

‘I think she might have been joking,’ I said.
‘Or maybe you misunderstood what she said.’

Gigi nodded. ‘I hope so. And something else – the children want me to wear a clown hat. But guinea pigs don’t like to wear clothes!’

‘Neither do hamsters,’ I said. ‘I think that’s because we’re already wearing our fur coats.’

Gigi giggled. ‘You always make me feel better, Humphrey!’

I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD I’d made Gigi feel better. But I didn’t feel so great myself when the door opened later that night. I was looking forward to congratulating Aldo, but instead, Bob was back.

‘Me again,’ he said as he pulled his cart through the door.

‘HI-HI-HI,’ I said.

Even though I was disappointed, I didn’t want to hurt Bob’s feelings.

He dusted for a while, and he remembered to give Og and me our treats.

‘I told my kids about you,’ he said. ‘Now they want a hamster and a frog, too.’

‘BOING!’ Og sounded pleased.

Bob was an unsqueakably nice human, but I still missed Aldo.