Springtime at Cherry Tree Cottage (24 page)

‘I'll buy him a ton of carrots.'

‘A bag will do. He's supposed to be on a diet. Look at his belly,' Robbie says. ‘He looks like he's pregnant.'

‘Paddington can't have a baby,' Maisie chuckles. ‘Silly, Daddy.'

‘We came over to tell you we're going home,' Louise says.

‘We're having pasta for tea,' Maisie says, before changing the subject yet again. ‘Look at what's on my head.'

‘You look like a princess. Where did you get that from?' Robbie squats down beside her.

‘Louise buyed it for me.'

Robbie looks up.

‘I hope you don't mind. I haven't got a little girl of my own to dress up. I love buying sparkly things for Maisie.'

‘Kerry can borrow it for the wedding.' Maisie takes it off and places it on her father's head, before turning to Louise. ‘She's going to a wedding with my daddy. They might be getting married,' she adds in a hopeful tone.

‘I'm going to a wedding with Kerry, but there's no way we're ever getting married,' Robbie says.

‘Oh?' Maisie looks crestfallen. She retrieves her tiara and puts it back on at a slant.

‘Come on, Maisie. Ashley wants to go home,' Louise says. ‘I'll see you later.'

‘Thanks,' Robbie says. ‘I'll collect Maisie at seven.'

‘Bye, Daddy.' I watch Maisie walking across the field with Louise and Ashley before I turn to Robbie, who's apparently decided to call it a day. He runs up Paddington's stirrups and loosens the girth. I stare at him, my heart thudding with disappointment. I knew there was something wrong. I knew he was hiding something from me.

I lead the pony back to the trailer while Robbie takes the money we've collected to one of the teachers.

‘That was a good afternoon of fundraising – I'm happy with that,' he says when we're on our way home. ‘Are you okay? You seem a bit quiet. Have I said or done something to upset you?'

I pick at a loose thread on my blouse. ‘What's this about you going to a wedding with Kerry?'

‘Oh, that. Her friend's getting married and I agreed to go with her as her plus-one. It was arranged a while ago.'

I know from the slight hesitation and the tone of his voice that he's being economical with the truth.

‘It's next weekend, isn't it?' My voice sounds flat. I feel let down. ‘That's why you can't come to the housewarming.'

‘I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought it was easier if I didn't mention it,' he stammers. His face is red. ‘When I said there was nothing going on between me and Kerry, that was true, but we used to have a … I don't know how to describe it …'

‘You were friends with benefits,' I say for him. ‘It sounds like you still are.'

‘We don't sleep together any more. I promise.'

‘It doesn't matter.' I bite my lip.

‘I'm glad you feel that way. I was afraid …' He reaches out and runs his fingers down my arm as he drives. I flinch.

‘What's wrong?'

‘You lied to me.'

‘Not exactly. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you jumping to the wrong conclusion. Flick, I didn't want to let Kerry down, and I didn't want to spoil what we have.' He swears lightly. ‘I know it's meant to be light-hearted and a bit of fun, but I knew you'd be upset.'

‘I thought you knew better than to mislead me.' I stare across at him.

‘I've said I can't let Kerry down – I promised I'd go with her.'

‘You knew about Ryan. You knew how I'd feel about being lied to.'

‘I didn't lie.' He drops the visor to shield his eyes from the sun.

‘You can put it how you like, but you weren't totally straight with me.'

The hurt and betrayal come rushing back.

‘I don't think I've done anything wrong.'

‘It doesn't matter what you think.'

I have zero tolerance for little white lies, no matter how well meaning the spirit in which they were intended. Since Ryan dumped me, I've become the human lie detector. I wasn't expecting him to cheat on me, so I wasn't suspicious, even when he was texting and keeping his mobile with him, taking it into the bathroom or sliding it under the pillow in our bed. He told me it was his clients getting in touch and he couldn't afford to miss a contact while he was building up his business – our business. When I discovered that he was seeing someone else – it was her perfume that gave him away – I accused him of having an affair. He was sarcastic at first, saying, yeah, of course. It wasn't long before he confessed that it was only the once and a mistake because he was under a lot of stress, especially because I kept accusing him of doing wrong. Later, he admitted he was leading a double life.

I won't put myself through that again. I won't share.

‘When we agreed that we were dating but it wasn't serious, I assumed we were going to be exclusive. It seems that I assumed too much.'

‘We are exclusive,' he protests. ‘I don't sleep around. I'm not like that. I'm telling you the truth.'

‘How do I know what's true or not?'

‘Just because Ryan let you down, doesn't automatically mean I will. You're being unreasonable. Oversensitive,' he adds.

‘Oversensitive?' I exclaim.

‘It seems to me that you're overreacting.'

‘Hardly. I lost everything when Ryan cheated on me – my fiancé, my financial security and my future.'

‘Oh, woe is me.' Robbie's tone is harshly sarcastic. ‘He did you a favour. He freed you to find someone who's worthy of you. You're a lovely woman, Flick. You deserve better than that idiot.'

I'm only half listening to him, my mind focused on making the right decision.

I utter a chuckle of irony. ‘All that creeping around that night of the barbecue, and the farce in the bedroom on the morning after. It made me feel really cheap, that you were ashamed of being associated with me, but I went along with it for Maisie's sake.'

‘And I'm really grateful for that. I'm sorry you felt like that, but I can assure you that was never my intention. I assumed you understood.'

‘I understand it now. You wanted to keep everything low-key, as in “secret”, because of Maisie, and then I find out that you're actually carrying on with Kerry. You weren't worried about your daughter. You were worried about Kerry finding out.'

‘You've got the wrong end of the stick. I don't want to get Maisie all mixed up before I'm sure of someone. And I said I'd go to the wedding with Kerry as a favour. Honestly.'

‘You could have told me. If Maisie hadn't blurted it out with the tiara, I'd never have known.'

‘I didn't realise she had such a thing for weddings and finding her dad a wife.' Robbie pulls into the yard and reaches one hand across to touch my thigh. I push him away. ‘I thought we were friends, more than friends. I've apologised and explained my position. Why don't you believe me?'

‘Because you've admitted that you were deliberately hiding something from me. It's dishonest. I know it shouldn't matter to me that you are going to a wedding with Kerry, because we agreed we weren't committed to each other as such, but it's … oh, I don't know.' My voice tremors when I go on, ‘It's made me feel bad, when I want to be happy.'

‘So what are you saying?' Robbie asks slowly. His expression is dark, with I'm not sure what – anger, pain, irritation – but I don't care. I thought he was different. ‘I take it that tomorrow's cancelled.'

I swallow back a sob of disappointment.

‘I'll carry on shoeing your horses, but I don't want to see you again.'

He bites his lip. ‘Okay, it's your decision. It's a shame. We could still hack out together.'

‘No, Robbie,' I say firmly. ‘Whatever it was, it's over. It's better that way.'

I return to Wisteria House without staying to help turn Paddington out, and I spend some time with Rafa for some equine therapy with a sensitive and emotional creature, not a man. It's for the best. I can focus on the future without distractions, and I'm a temporary fixture here anyway. I was a fool to think that a casual fling would work for me. I touch my chest. I've had a lucky escape. My heart isn't broken, just bruised.

I'm grooming Rafa outside his stable on the Sunday morning after the fete when Robbie rides up and looks over the grey stone wall outside Wisteria House.

‘Hi,' he calls from Diva's back. ‘How are you?'

‘Okay, thanks.' I pause from scrubbing at the mud on my horse's shoulder with his rubber currycomb. I tap it against the stable, knocking out a cloud of dust. ‘And you?'

‘I've been better.'

‘How is Nelson?'

‘Matt's coming out to see him again in the week.'

I don't probe any further. Obviously, he's showing no sign of improvement.

Someone shrieks, ‘Look at me!'

It's Maisie, but I can't see her at first. A white face with pricked ears appears through the honeysuckle and brambles that clamber across the top of the wall, followed by Maisie's hat and eyes as she stands in her stirrups, balancing precariously.

‘You're off the lead rein,' I say, avoiding Robbie's gaze.

‘Yay!' She punches the air. ‘We're going down to the river. Do you want to come?'

‘I won't, thank you.'

‘I'd really appreciate it if we could arrange to talk sometime,' Robbie says. ‘Would you be able to come over for coffee or tea later this afternoon? Maisie's going to play with a friend.'

‘I wanna stay and see Flick.'

‘You've agreed to go to Chloe's. Please, Flick.'

‘No, I'm all right. Another time.'

‘Oh, go on,' Robbie joins in. ‘I was hoping that you might have forgiven me.'

‘I don't want to discuss it,' I say, swapping the currycomb for the body brush. I'm happy with my horse. I don't want to revisit the day before. What's done is done.

‘What are you and Flick talking about?' Maisie frowns and hauls on Paddington's reins as he takes a mouthful of leaves from the tree that overhangs the wall.

‘Nothing,' Robbie says. ‘That's a fib. It must be something.'

‘It was inconsequential chat.'

‘What's that?'

‘Never mind. We're talking about the price of fish,' he says.

‘Oh?' Paddington turns his bottom towards Diva, making the mare flatten her ears.

‘No kicking.' Robbie pushes her away.

‘What sort of fish?' Maisie asks.

‘Salmon, mackerel … all kinds.' He flashes me a brief smile. ‘Are you sure we can't persuade you to come with us?'

‘Quite sure,' I say. ‘Good luck with the vet, by the way.'

Robbie thanks me for my concern and the two of them ride away along the lane. Rafa fidgets, wanting to go with them, and I feel a little mean for spoiling his fun. He would have enjoyed the company of the other horses.

As the sound of two sets of hooves fade into the distance and one of Louise's chickens clucks to announce that she's laying an egg, I wonder why Maisie's revelation about Kerry and the wedding bothers me so much. We weren't a couple. We were two mates having a good time, that's all, and today Robbie looks far from the romantic hero, with his tired eyes and tatty old sweat top. I'm trying to make him appear less attractive, but he's still as gorgeous when he looks slightly wrecked … no, more than ever.

I tack up and take Rafa for a ride, walking him past the pigs and down to the river where I find two sets of hoofprints, one large and one small, where Robbie and Maisie have paddled their mounts around in the shallows. I canter over a couple of logs on the bank before heading away to the long hill for a good gallop. It clears my head, and on the way home I make a mental to-do list for the week. I have plenty of work with a couple of new clients on top of the regulars. I haven't heard anything from Gina about Rambo, so I'm assuming she must have found someone else, another local farrier, to put his shoe back on. I need to speak to Louise to see if she's happy to look after my horse next weekend when I'm at Sarah's for the housewarming. I can leave him out in the field so she doesn't have too much to do.

On my return to Wisteria House, I turn him out with his fly-mask on before tidying up. I'm cleaning his tack when Louise appears with Ashley.

‘Coffee,' she says, handing me a mug.

I take it, wondering what I've done to deserve waitress service.

‘I made it,' Ashley mumbles.

‘Oh, well done.' I taste it. ‘It's perfect.' I look up. He looks away, his cheeks flushed. ‘I was wondering, if it's okay with your mum, if you could help her look after Rafa for me next weekend.' I glance at her, hoping I haven't overstepped the mark.

‘Is this for the party at your friend's?' Louise says.

I nod. ‘If it's a problem, please say so. I can make alternative arrangements for him.' I'm not sure what, but I'll find a way.

‘No, it's okay. We haven't got anything planned. What do you think, Ash?'

He looks up at his mum, his face lighting up.

‘How is Paddington?' I ask.

‘He …' He hesitates. ‘… We did trotting with Robbie.'

‘Wow, that's brilliant.'

‘He's doing remarkably well,' Louise says. ‘Now we'd better leave you to it. I have beds to make and rooms to clean.'

‘Thanks for the coffee.'

I finish off and put the tack away, placing the saddle on the stand with the numnah and girth on top, and reassembling the bridle and hanging it up. I have a shower and get myself some lunch. Mel appears in the kitchen to make a hot drink.

‘How are you doing?' I ask.

‘Not bad since I've found out that I'm not needed at the next Pony Club rally,' he says. ‘I hear on the grapevine that you're doling out the badges.'