“No, nothing really,” I stumbled. “Just nothing.”
David turned to me and his forehead creased, the smile long gone. For a long time he just looked at me.
“Never mind.” He slinked away, leaving me boggled.
Was I not supposed to have talked to Mal? He’d talked to me first. I might have started the staring, but he’d definitely kicked off the conversation. And the yelling, for that matter. Not my fault I’d interacted with one of the most famous drummers on the planet. But a memory of Mal looking out over the city came back to me. The frown he’d had on his face before he’d gotten busy poking fun at me once more. The way he’d bounced between moods. And now with David checking up on him …
Curiouser and curiouser.
If cash and conquests were everything, then Mal had it covered. I’d seen a picture of his beautiful beach house down in L.A. Photos of him covered in scantily clad women were the norm. Money didn’t buy happiness. I knew that. Given my current situation, though, the knowledge wouldn’t quite stick. Plus the man had fame, worldwide adoration, and an awesome job involving lots of travel. How dare he not be deliriously, ridiculously happy! What was his problem?
Good question.
“That’s a big frown.” Lauren hooked her arm with mine, drawing me further into the party. “You okay?”
“Fine.”
“I heard you and Mal fighting.”
“I’m assuming pretty much everyone did.” I winced. “Sorry about that.”
She laughed. “Please, Mal lives to get a reaction.”
“He certainly got one from me.”
“Let me guess, that was your friend, Reecy, calling earlier?” Her voice dripped with disdain. Lauren and I started spending time together when Ev got married and moved out. Often on weekends Nate would wind up needing to work. Lauren had a low boredom threshold for her own company. So we’d grab a coffee or go see a movie. It was good. Especially since Skye had taken to avoiding me the past few months. It had been on the pretext of spending time with her new boyfriend but now I had to wonder.
I hated doubting everything that’d happened. The feeling of losing all trust. It was skin crawling and noxious.
“Reece’s date bailed on him,” I said. “Did Ev say something about pizza? I’m starving.”
“One day, you’re going to stop being that boy’s back-up plan.”
My spine straightened. “We’re just friends, Lauren.”
She steered me into the kitchen. A vast array of pizza boxes had been spread across the marble benchtop.
“Please,” she huffed. “He’s a cunt tease. He knows you like him and plays on it.”
“No, he doesn’t. I repeat, just friends.” I’d only recently finished embarrassing myself in front of Malcolm Ericson. Thoughts regarding my possible foolish behavior around Reece Lewis could wait for another time.
Or never. Never would also be fine.
“You could do better if you bothered to,” she said.
I made some vague noise. Hopefully it was enough to end this topic of conversation. Then my stomach rumbled loudly. Yum, melted cheese. Earlier, I’d been so worried about the talk with Skye, I’d skipped lunch. With two beers sloshing around inside my belly, food was long overdue. Though the toppings laid out weren’t what I expected. “Is that artichoke and spinach?”
“Probably.” Lauren shook her head and shoved a piping-hot piece of ham and pineapple at me, taking the time to sit it on a napkin first. “Here, try this one. Evelyn hasn’t wrecked it with any of her vegetable nonsense. I love her, I do. But the girl has the strangest taste in pizza toppings of anyone I’ve ever met. It’s unnatural.”
I bit into it immediately, scalding my tongue and the roof of my mouth. One day I’d learn to wait until it cooled down. Not today, but one day.
Out in the living room, the music suddenly jumped in volume by about a billion decibels. My ears started ringing. The walls shuddered. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club thundered through the condo. Someone else managed to be louder. “Par-tay!”
Lauren smiled and leaned in closer to be heard. “Mal’s decided to join in!” she shouted. “Now the fun begins.”
***
Ben Nicholson, Stage Dive’s bull-necked bass player arrived, blowing my mind just a bit more. He and Mal started pouring shots. I stuck to my mostly full beer. Holding it gave my hands something to do. What followed was pretty much everything I’d ever expected from a rock star party. Well, there weren’t really drugs or groupies so much. But plenty of pretty people getting drunk and lots of noise. It was a bit like the college parties Lizzy talked me into attending now and then. Only instead of cheap beer in red Solo cups, they passed around bottles of CÎROC and Patrón. Most everyone’s clothes were top-of-the-line designer goodies and we were sitting in a million-dollar condo instead of some crappy student apartment.
So, actually, it was nothing like the parties I went to with Lizzy. Forget I said that.
Lauren, Ev, and I had danced and chatted earlier. It’d been fun. For certain, Lauren had done me a favor dragging me out tonight. I’d had a hell of a lot better time than I ever would have sitting at home all by my lonesome. Mal had gone off with David and Ben to another room for a while. Not that I’d been keeping an eye out for him.
For a while I’d hung out in the kitchen, talking to a sound technician by the name of Dean. Apparently he worked with someone called Tyler, who’d been with the band for forever and was basically a family friend. Dean was nice, intelligent, with cool black hair and a piercing through his lip. Yes, he was sort of hot. He asked me back to his hotel room, and it was tempting. But all of my current stresses were running on a loop in the back of my mind. It would basically take a Sex God to make me unwind right now.
I bid Dean good night at the kitchen door.
Then Mal and the guys returned and the music got turned way up again. As inevitably happened, everyone had started pairing up. David and Ev disappeared. No one commented. Lauren sat on Nate’s lap in the corner of the couch, their hands all over each other. I stifled a yawn. It’d been a blast, but it was nearing three in the morning. I was running out of steam. We’d probably be leaving soon.
I hoped we’d be leaving soon. In a few hours I had to rise and shine. The shining part might be problematic with the way Mal’s words were beating around inside my brain. Overly trusting and broke? Yes. Doormat, my ass.
“Benny boy,” hollered Mal. He was dancing on top of the coffee table with a long-legged brunette. The girl seemed hell-bent on wrapping herself around him, strangler-vine style. Somehow he managed to keep her at a polite distance. Well, almost.
“Yo,” replied Ben in a very manly manner.
“You met my girl, Anne?” Mal nodded to where I sat perched on the end of a couch. I froze. For hours he’d been otherwise occupied. I’d thought he’d forgotten about me entirely.
“You got a girl?” asked Ben.
“Yeah. Isn’t she cute?”
I got a brief looking over from Ben, followed by a chin tip. It seemed eerily similar to the one I’d gotten from David. Maybe this was the equivalent of a rock star’s secret handshake.
“We were talking earlier outside. We’re moving in together,” Mal informed him. The brunette in his arms scowled. He didn’t even notice. But more important, what the hell was he talking about? “It’s serious, man. Real serious. She’s got a few issues with her friends going on. It’s a fucking mess. Anyway, she really needs me with her right now for support and shit, you know?”
My hands quietly throttled the poor innocent bottle of beer.
“You doing the Dave and Ev thing?” asked Ben.
“Abso-fucking-lutely. I’m settling down. I’m a changed man. True love and all that.”
“Right. This should be interesting,” said Ben. “How long you think it’ll last?”
“Mine and Anne’s lustful passion will be eternal, Benny boy. Just you wait and see.”
Ben’s eyebrow arched. “You willing to bet on this?”
“Name your price, punk!”
“Five large says you can’t make it till we go on tour.”
“Fuck that. Make it worth my time. Twenty.”
Ben guffawed. “Easiest twenty grand I’ll ever make.”
“You’re moving in with me?” I asked, interrupting all the male bravado and talk of money. I wasn’t even touching upon my supposed friend issues.
“Yes, pumpkin,” said Mal, his face deadly serious. “I am moving in with you.”
I cringed at the horrid nickname but chose to focus on the real concern for now. “When did we talk about this exactly?”
“Actually, you might have left by then. But it doesn’t change the facts.” He turned back to Ben. “Perfect timing with Mom coming to town. She’s going to love her. Mom always wanted me to find a nice girl and settle down and shit.”
“Thought you didn’t like Portland,” commented Ben.
“I don’t like Portland. But I like Anne.” He gave me a wink. “Besides, Davie’s not moving back to L.A. anytime soon. Even Jimmy’s been talking about relocating, maybe buying the place next door.”
“Has he?”
“Yeah. You met his new babysitter?”
“Nah, not yet. What happened to the old one, the big black dude?”
“Ha, no. He’s long gone. There’s been several since him. New girl started a couple while back.” Mal chuckled. The sound was distinctly evil. “If Jimmy doesn’t want someone around, he has ways of making their life fucking intolerable.”
“Sh-i-i-t. Tell me later.”
Mal chuckled some more. “Anyways, things are tight between me and Anne. I may as well stay.”
The brunette turned her glare up to high beam. My look was probably more confused. Maybe he meant another Anne. One that had a clue what the hell he was talking about.
“Your girl doesn’t mind watching some chick crawling all over you?” Ben gave me a raised brow. “I need a girlfriend like that.”
“Ah, fuck. Good point. Honestly, this whole monogamy thing. It takes so much getting used to, man.” Mal set the distinctly cranky brunette away from him, the muscles in his arms flexing. He deposited her gently back down onto the floor. “Apologies. I’m sure you’re very nice and all but my heart beats only for Anne.”
The brunette threw a withering glance my way, flicked her hair, and turned to leave. Ignoring her huffing, Ben caught the girl around the waist, pulling her onto his lap. The girl’s transfer of affections took all of a millisecond. To be fair, Ben was a big burly guy. Few would say no.
Mal threw himself at my feet. I scuttled back in my chair in surprise.
“Forgive me, Anne! I didn’t mean to stray.”
“It’s fine.” I didn’t know exactly how much he’d had to drink. A truckload would probably be a good guess.
“Guess what, pumpkin?” Mal jumped onto the couch beside me, towering over me on his knees. “You don’t make crazy eyes at Ben.”
I needed to shoot him at least twice. Once for calling me pumpkin and then again for embarrassing me every damn chance he got. Instead, I studied my beer with great intensity.
“She makes crazy eyes at you?” asked Ben.
“Oh, yeah. Anne?” A finger slid beneath my chin and gently lifted, forcing me to face him.
Mal stared at me and I stared back despite my best intentions. His face gentled. None of the drunken amusement remained. He just looked at me and all that stuff about seeing someone’s soul began to make sense. It was terrifying. I could almost feel a connection between us. Like there was something I could reach out and grab hold of.
It couldn’t be real.
But for one perfect moment, it was just me and him. We were in our own little bubble and nothing or no one else existed. It was strangely peaceful.
“There we go,” he said, not taking his eyes off me. “She doesn’t do it for you or Davie though. Only I get the crazy eyes. Because I’m special.”
Ben said something. I didn’t hear what. Then Mal looked away and the moment was gone. The spell was broken. “It’s sweet, really. She can’t live without me.”
“Obviously.” Ben laughed.
My jaw clenched. Fuck Mal Ericson and his games very much.
“I haven’t met your lead singer, Jimmy, yet,” I said, finally finding my fight. It was either words or fists. Given the way he just exposed me to ridicule, I was good with either. “Maybe he’s the real favorite and you’re just the runner-up. Did you think of that?”
His mouth fell open. “You did not just say that to me.”
I didn’t answer. Let’s see how he enjoyed being teased.
“Anne, are you trying to make me jealous? You wouldn’t like me when I’m jealous!” The drunken lunatic roared and started pounding on his chest like King Kong or the Hulk or whatever the hell he was trying to be. “Take it back.”
“No.”
“Don’t toy with me, Anne. Take it back or I’ll make you.”
I screwed up my face, incredulous. And he said
I
was crazy. Or crazy eyed. Whatever.
The madman shrugged. “Okay, pumpkin. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Without further ado, he launched himself at me. I screeched in alarm. The noise was awesome. My beer bottle went flying across the floor.
It could be said I’m somewhat ticklish. Sure as shit, I hated being tickled. His fingers were dancing and digging in turn, hitting all my sensitive spots, damn it. It was like someone had given him a map to my body. I was panting and squirming, trying to get away from him.
“Boundaries, you bastard,” I hissed.
His answering laugh was no less than wicked.
Then I started to slip off the couch.
To be fair, he did try to break my fall and he used himself to do so. Hands grabbed hold of me, turning as opposed to torturing. We fell in a tangle of limbs, me landing flat on top of him. Mal grunted as the back of his head bounced off the hardwood floor.
Ouch; that had to hurt.
Despite the knock, his arms remained tight, holding me to him. The man felt good, better than I’d ever imagined. And you had to know I’d done some serious imagining, even out there on the balcony. The playful light disappeared from his eyes and every inch of him tensed. He stared up at me, unblinking, his mouth slightly open. I got the distinct feeling he was waiting to see what I’d do next. If I’d take things further. Mostly, I concentrated on breathing. Then he looked at my lips.
Breathing was out.
He couldn’t want me to kiss him. Surely this was just another game. Except it wasn’t, not entirely. I could feel him hardening against my thigh. Things low inside of me tightened in response. I hadn’t been this wound up in ages.