Authors: Lynda Chance
Her face paled and a fine trembling began at
the base of her spine and travelled out to encompass her limbs.
Just because she was emotionally ready for sex, didn't mean she was
ready
for this.
She cleared her throat in agitation and his
attention lifted. His eyes were hot on hers and glowed with a
savage, inner fire. His voice was deep and purposeful when he
spoke. "Thank you."
She searched his expression as a soft kiss of
blushing heat covered her cheeks. She knew he was thanking her for
the gift of her virginity. She softly nodded in
acknowledgement.
"You still think you need to go home?" He
waited for a second before continuing, "I want you to stay."
Elaina studied him, trying to get a handle on
his true meaning. Her expression clouded with unease and a sudden
need for caution infiltrated her being.
She didn't think he meant to stay
just the
night
. He wanted her to stay longer. Or he would as soon as
tomorrow came. She might be new at this, but she wasn't naïve. He
had every intention of doing exactly what he had spelled out
before. Sleeping with her
again and again and again
.
And then what? Whatever he wanted, that's
what. Although he was being gentle at the moment, Elaina knew him
well enough to know it wasn't his standard operating procedure. He
wasn't above railroading her into getting what he wanted, and she
needed to find it within herself to exert her demands.
If she didn't--well, she couldn't contemplate
that. "I think I better go back," she said.
"Why?"
"I just should. I don't want a bunch of
questions tomorrow. I want to wake up in my bed."
"I want you to wake up here, beside me," he
voiced his opinion, determination in his tone.
She studied him briefly before trying to get
him to understand. "This is all new for me, you know?"
"Yeah, I
do
know, more than anyone
else on the planet. So, why are you wanting to run, to not share
this with me?" he growled.
She bristled but tried to hold on to her
emotions. She spoke with quiet firmness. "There's a hell of a lot
of emotional crap going on inside me right now. You think it was
only by circumstance that I was still a virgin at twenty-two?"
His arms crossed over his chest, his muscles
laced into corded bands of steel. His eyebrows came together in a
hardened frown. "I don't know, why don't you tell me?"
"Well you're acting like I shouldn't need
some time to myself. I need to regroup, take a bath--"
"You can take a goddamn bath
here
,
Elaina." He swung his arm in the direction of the bathroom before
continuing, "So tell me how it was."
"Tell you how
what
was?"
"
You
started it. You asked the damn
question. Why were you still a virgin? Was it because you never had
the opportunity?"
"Really? You think that?" Surprise and a
small amount of indignation colored her voice.
"Fuck no. I think every goddamn straight guy
in his right mind that came across you wanted to crawl on
top--"
She sucked in her breath in a gasp and his
words came to a halt.
Her shoulders stiffened and her tone chilled
a degree. "I don't even want to talk about this. I don't know why I
worded it that way. I'm just saying that even though I haven't
dated a lot, what we did tonight meant something to me. I don't
sleep around--yeah, I've had opportunities in the past--" He
growled at her words and she went on, "but it was never the right
time, or the right person--"
"So I was the right guy and this was the
right time--"
"Maybe not the right time--you pushed me into
this--"
He slashed his arm through the air and
gritted out,
"And there it is!
I knew you'd hold that shit
against me. I told you."
"I'm not holding anything against you. I'm
just ready to go home now. You're the one who's acting like we're
fighting. I just want to go home." She grabbed the top sheet,
jerked it away from the mattress and held it over herself as she
slid off the bed and began picking up her clothes.
"Elaina," his voice subtly threatened.
"I'm going home Raul, even if I have to
walk." She turned her back to him and began slipping her underwear
back on.
"This isn't about you wanting to go home.
This is about
you getting your fucking way
," he blasted.
"
Yes!"
she screamed, turning around
and mumbling, "finally,
geez
."
He watched her dress and glared at her
menacingly. "I could force you to stay," he said in a heated threat
under his breath.
She snapped her head up and a chill came over
her features. "That would be a mistake." Her eyes froze his in an
impenetrable glare. "I promise you."
****
Elaina had been too tired to do anything but
fall into bed when Raul dropped her off the night before. But now,
after several hours of uninterrupted sleep, she lounged back in the
bathtub, and remembered the night before, as the warm water soothed
her aching muscles.
He had pulled the truck up in front of her
house and cut the engine. He turned to her, sifted his fingers
through her hair and ran his eyes up and down her length.
When he spoke, his words were intent,
questioning, trying to gauge her feelings. His fingers were gentle
on her. "What do you want, baby?"
His eyes tangled with hers and she sucked in
a breath at the naked emotion and blatant need in his voice.
"
That,
" she answered him softly.
His fingers tightened. "Explain."
She reached up and put her hand over his
where it entangled her hair. "I want you to care about what I
need--what I want," she said.
"I do care," he answered.
"I think you probably do, but it's kind of
hidden underneath what
you think
I need--what
you
want
for me. What
you
want."
"You're saying I'm selfish?
"News flash, Raul. You
are
selfish."
His cheekbones colored slightly.
"Elaina--"
"I'm not saying you're a selfish
person--you're not. I know you're an incredibly good person. But
when it comes
to me
--," she stopped, looked down and cleared
her throat, "for whatever reason--you want what you want and
nothing and no one
--including me--seems to be able to stop
you."
"Are you trying to blow me off?" his voice
was sharp.
"No!"
she exclaimed.
"Then what?"
"I need some distance--"
"
You are
blowing me off."
"No--I'm not. Not even close. If I hadn't
made you bring me home tonight--I get the feeling that--this is
going to sound stupid--I get the feeling you'd never let me leave."
Her voice came to a stop and she watched him silently watching her,
interrogating her without saying a word.
He never tried to dispute her claim.
"This is serious shit, Raul. It's not a game.
I wouldn't begin to know how to play games. You think I belong to
you. That fast--I sleep with you one time and that's it for you.
Hell--you thought it before tonight. You're going to trample all
over me if I let you."
He jerked from her last sentence. "Trample
you? What the hell, Elaina?"
"Honestly? This isn't just sex. You want a
relationship. And I'm okay with that as long as it's two ways.
Equality."
His lips thinned and his frown deepened, but
he didn't try to deny what she was saying. "So, again, I'm asking
you--what do you want?" he hissed out.
"I want to take some time to get to know you.
I'll stay here. I'm not saying we won't--have sex. I'm just saying
I need to go to bed at night here. Wake up here. It's too soon to
start staying with you, and I don't want to fight about it every
time we see each other."
"You're putting me on a
goddamn
trial?"
"Do you want to give me what I need to feel
comfortable with you?"
"Yes," he blistered between grinding
teeth.
"It's not you that's on trial," she tried to
soothe. "It's us."
He jerked her to him and her hands fell
helplessly to his chest. "We'll play it your way for a while. I'll
give you space. But
it is
a relationship, Elaina. You can
argue fucking semantics with me all night long. But this little
body
you got going on
," he gripped her with one hand while
he ran his other up and down the curve of her waist, "
it is
mine
. That's
not
up for debate. You understand me?"
His hand fell between them and landed on a
breast and squeezed. His eyes glittered down at her, challenging
her.
Her heartbeat escalated and her voice froze
as his thumb swiped back and forth across her nipple. His grip
tightened and he gave her a slight shake as he demanded her
acquiescence.
She swallowed hard. "Yes, she whispered in
submission, and his mouth fell on hers.
****
Elaina came back to the present and reached
for a towel as she climbed from the bathtub. Had she gotten through
to him? Had she made him understand?
Really, only time would tell.
As for herself; she knew,
she wanted
him
. What they had was intense, and she was old enough to
realize that what they shared might not ever come around in her
lifetime again.
But it had to be right.
His masculinity was fearsome. There was no
doubt that was what she found so exciting about him. But it was
also what scared her the most.
She hoped and prayed it could work out. The
sex had been addictive. Crazy.
Crazy
addictive. She could
happily go her whole life with only him as a lover. If--
If they could find a happy medium.
Again, only time would tell.
Thank God, she had a lot of time to make it
work.
****
Elaina spent the day cleaning up after the
party alongside her aunt. Janie gave her several probing looks but
never asked any questions.
It was still too new for her to talk about,
so Elaina didn't offer any details.
They spent a pleasant day together
regardless.
Her cell phone rang at six o'clock that
evening and she answered on the second ring. She knew by the
display it was Raul. "Hello?"
He cut to the chase. "What are you
doing?"
"Nothing, right now."
"Have you eaten?"
"No, not yet."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes."
His arrogance was inborn; she wasn't going to
get him to change that. Besides, she wanted to go.
"Okay."
She was sitting on the porch swing waiting
for him when he drove up.
He pushed the passenger door open from the
inside and she stepped on the running board and up into the seat.
She buckled and turned to him.
"Hey," she said softly.
He put the truck in reverse and looked over
at her. "Hey."
"Where are we going?"
"You've got two choices--"
She cut in with a smile in her voice. "Mmm.
Choices
. I like it already."
He sniggered and ran his hand caressingly
over her thigh. "Little shit."
"Me?" Her eyes cut to him flirtatiously, then
away again. "Surely not."
His smile broadened in approval as he turned
his eyes back to the road. "The diner in town or my house. I've got
steaks we can grill."
"A real date?"
The truck came to the fork in the road and he
stopped before turning onto the county road. "Would you like that?"
His eyes radiated indulgence as he contemplated her mischievous
mood.
"Yeah." Her eyes searched his playfully. "Can
we go to the diner and then--" Her voice stalled.
"And then?" He lifted his hand and rubbed her
silken chin between his fingers.
"And then--can we go parking?"
"Parking?" he almost choked on the word.
Their eyes tangled as incendiary heat flowed
between them. "I've never been."
"Never?" he questioned her.
"No, never," she qualified.
He leaned down and kissed her softly on the
lips. "Baby, if you're going to be so easy to please, I don't think
we're going to have any worries at all."
Elaina sat across from Raul in a booth at the
only diner in town. Almost all of the tables around them were
filled.
His eyes were hot on her face as they
searched for hidden answers. His hand entwined hers on top on the
table as he played with her small white fingers. "You okay
today?"
Her eyes flew from watching the rough pads of
his fingertips up to his heated, expectant expression. She knew
what he was asking with that question. "I'm fine," she said
quietly.
His hand compressed over hers. "You sure? No
residual effects from last night?" His thumb stroked back and forth
across her palm.
Elaina had the absurd notion she should be
feeling embarrassment. But she wasn't. Arousal, immediate and
all-consuming, slid through her veins and landed in a pool of heat
between her thighs.
His eyes pierced hers and she saw the same
arousal reflected in his expression as his jaw tensed visibly and
his skin pulled taut over his cheekbones.
She sucked in a shaky breath. "Maybe a tiny
bit--sore. But it's mostly gone now."
"You sure? You bled so much--
Jesus
,
babe."
Elaina glanced quickly around to see if
anyone was paying them any attention. She was relieved to find they
were completely alone in their conversation. "Raul, please, be
quiet. I'm sure it was normal."
"I guess so. I worried about you after I
dropped you off."
"Don't you know so?"
"What?"
Now Elaina did feel the blush of
embarrassment. "How much I bled," she whispered so softly she knew
he would have a hard time hearing her. "Don't you know if it was
normal?"