Star Wars on Trial

DAVID BRIN: Your Honor, I am a recognized expert on the politics of Star Wars. I refer you to my infamous Salon.com article published June 15, 1999-

MATTHEW WOODRING STOVER: Recognized by who, the Imperial Sith Show-Trial Fake Certification Committee? Five Kowackian monkey-lizards on a six-day spice-binge? Hey, this reminds me of a joke-a kid, ajedi and two droids walk into a bar in Mos Eisley-

DAVID BRIN: Only demigods need apply ... and only those demigods Yoda likes. But more about the nasty green oven mitt, anon....

MATTHEW WOODRING STOVER: I would like to take this moment to apologize to you personally for not putting some brutal torture of Princess Leia on-screen ... I'm sure we'd all feel better about her character if we could have watched her screaming in agony.

DAVID BRIN: Objection! That's not a question-he's just abusing the witness.

MATTHEW WOODRING STOVER: Shameless padding? "Show, don't tell"? Is that all you've got? No wonder you're an editor instead of a writer. That's the most pathetic excuse for a personal insult I've ever heard. As trash-talk goes, Mr. Hundreds-of-Manuscripts-per-Year, yours barely makes it to the level of a stuck-out tongue.

DAVID BRIN: For the record, I never declined a saber duel with Mr. Stover. I'm likely twice his age, yet my rusty skills from the Caltech fencing team should suffice. Bring it on, smart mouth.

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