Starbound: A Starstruck Novel (4 page)

“Which brings us to logistics,” Malcolm said. “The first ship launches three weeks from tomorrow from the Irish port. You and the O’Gara family will leave for Ireland the Wednesday before.”

“And Rigel,” I put in quickly. “He’s coming as my Bodyguard, remember?”

At least half of the Council started shaking their heads, nearly all of them frowning. My stomach clenched.
 

“But that was our deal! Rigel and I get to be together as long as I play along in public. And I have.” Way more than I liked, in fact.
 

“Here on Earth, while you were simply attending high school, that seemed harmless enough.” Connor received nods of support from everyone but Shim and Nara. “But with this new development, you will need a real
Costanta
…that is, a properly trained Bodyguard. An adult. Which would make explaining young Stuart’s constant presence a bit awkward.”

I turned accusingly to Mrs. O. “Did you know about this? You told me they were okay with Rigel being my Bodyguard! And last night you didn’t say a word about him not coming.”

She shrugged apologetically. “I did try to plead your case, dear, but those more experienced in such matters feel strongly—”

“I don’t care,” I snapped, anger finally crowding out panic. “We had a deal! You all voted on it.”
 

“We did promise,” Nara said to the others. “Suppose Rigel goes along in a different capacity? He could pretend to be young Molly O’Gara’s boyfriend…”

Ew. It would be better than him not going at all, but— “That wouldn’t give him any excuse to be near me unless I’m with Molly all the time. And I won’t be, once we get to Mars, will I?”

“If Molly is named your
Chomseireach
? Then he might have reason—” Nara began tentatively.
 

“Handmaids aren’t allowed such visitors, you know that,” Kyna broke in. “Nor can I see him going as the Sovereign’s Bodyguard. That requires very specific training, which—”
 

“He can train before we leave,” I insisted. “He’s a
really
fast learner, and he’s way more motivated to protect me than anybody else ever could be. Besides, my Bodyguard should be someone I trust completely and I trust Rigel more than
anyone
on Earth—or Mars.”
 

When they still hesitated, I used the only real bargaining chip I had. “I won’t go to Mars without Rigel. Period. If you guys won’t honor your side of our deal, I won’t honor mine. Go find yourselves another Sovereign.”

I glared around at them all, waiting, just like I’d done back in December when I’d first thrown out that ultimatum. And, just like then, they caved. To my massive relief, each of them eventually nodded. Some were clearly reluctant, but all that mattered was that they agreed.

“Very well.” Connor’s tone made it obvious he didn’t like it. “Though once she reaches Mars, at least one more Bodyguard must be assigned, perhaps more. Until then, I suppose young Stuart will do.” Then, to Shim, “Can he be trained in time, do you think?”

“I’ll see to it that he is. In fact, I will leave for Jewel tomorrow and remain there until they leave for Ireland to oversee his training myself. The Sovereign is correct that he will be highly motivated, both to learn and to protect her. Their bond—”

“Yes, yes, we know.” Kyna was the only one with the nerve to interrupt Shim. “But that very bond makes Rigel Stuart our biggest security risk. If there’s anyone she will be tempted to confide in, it is he.”

Shim inclined his head. “A fair point, and one you’ve made often. Excellency, I must again stress the importance of keeping all information pertaining to the Grentl absolutely to yourself. Should Rigel learn anything about that aspect of your mission, he will not accompany you to Mars in
any
capacity. I assure you that between Lili O’Gara and myself, we will know if that stricture is violated. Will that content you?” This last was to Kyna, who reluctantly nodded.
 

I remembered suddenly what Rigel had told me about his grandfather practically reading his mind sometimes. In fact, I’d experienced that with Shim myself more than once. Between him and Mrs. O, they’d
definitely
know if I told Rigel.

My heart in my throat, battling between relief and dread that I’d screw this up, I nodded. “I understand. Thank you.”

Jewel
(pop. 5,013)
: town in north-central Indiana noted for corn, artisan jewelry and annual Jewel Jewelry Festival

The next day at school I worked harder than ever before to shield my thoughts from Rigel. What I
couldn’t
hide was the fact that I was shielding my thoughts.

You’re really worrying me, M,
he told me halfway through first period.
If you’re scared or have some problem, I want to help. Don’t shut me out.

The pleading edge to his thought twisted my heart—I knew how I’d feel if he were doing this to me.
I don’t want to, Rigel, I promise. But there’s stuff I can’t…that would be bad if you found out, okay?
 

Bad? You mean it would piss me off? It’s something about Sean, isn’t it? I know you were at his house last night.

I sighed, exasperation starting to crowd out sympathy.
No. It’s not. Please don’t push me, Rigel. It only makes it harder.

Fine. Sorry.
 

But I could tell he wasn’t going to give up and I couldn’t really blame him. I’d be every bit as obsessed with finding out the truth if he were hiding things from me.
 

As we were leaving class, he came close enough to “accidentally” brush my hand. “Don’t put up walls, M,” he murmured so no one else could hear him. “I just want to help. You know that.”

“I know.” I started to link pinkies with him, like at my party, but noticed Trina watching us, her eyes narrowed. I took a reluctant step back from Rigel and turned away.
We’ll talk later,
I promised him silently. Not that there was much I could safely tell him.

Rigel wasn’t in my next class, which I spent trying to convince myself there was nothing to worry about. I’d just go to Mars and do whatever the Scientists there told me to do. Until then, I didn’t need to think about it at all. Which meant there wouldn’t be anything for Rigel to accidentally “overhear.”

That pep talk helped me relax a bit next period. While I could sense Rigel’s amused irritation at Trina’s blatant flirting, I deliberately didn’t probe his actual thoughts, since I wasn’t willing to share most of mine. Trina clung to his arm all the way to Earth and Space Science, something she did way too often now I was supposedly dating Sean. Even though it distracted Rigel from trying too hard to get into my head just now, I still didn’t like it.

Once in class, I tried my best to focus on what the teacher was writing on the board about the space program. But when I heard Trina whispering softly to Rigel right behind me—they were lab partners—of course I had to pay attention to
that
. She probably didn’t think I could hear but, like all Martians, I had super-sensitive hearing. It wasn’t always an advantage.

“—deserve so much better, Rigel,” she murmured, probably right in his ear. “No girl in her right mind would throw you over for someone else, even if he
is
a junior and can invite her to prom. After all you did for her last fall, too, plucking her from obscurity and making her more popular than she’s ever been in her life. Believe me, before you did that, somebody like Sean
never
would have asked her out!”

I knew I should be happy Trina was distracting Rigel so effectively, but happy wasn’t how I felt when Rigel responded.

“M’s free to date whoever she wants. She and I are…over. We’re just friends now.”

Ouch. I mean, that
was
the front we were putting on these days, but it stung to hear him say it to Trina, of all people.

“Then you need to move on, Rigel. It’s pretty obvious
she
has, the way she’s practically glued to Sean O’Gara these days.”

It was hard not to turn around and contradict her, but Rigel did it for me. Sort of.

“They’re close, yeah, but mostly just friends. We’re all friends.”
 

“Friends? Don’t make me laugh! Maybe they act that way when
you’re
around.” Trina snickered softly. “Behind your back, they’re all
over
each other, believe me.”

Not true! Not true!
I thought quickly to Rigel, breaking my mental silence.
 

Oh, so you
are
there?
The resentment that came through with his reply proved I hadn’t been as subtle about blocking him as I’d hoped.

“Everybody knows she’s over at Sean’s house practically every night,” Trina continued with smug mock-sympathy. “You need to forget her, Rigel, give other girls a chance. If you’d come to my party Saturday night I would have—”

Luckily the teacher turned around right then, forcing Trina to shut up, but I could feel Rigel’s frustration and jealousy from what she’d already said, along with his worry about what I
wasn’t
saying. My compromise with the Council had been tougher on Rigel than anyone, no matter what Sean claimed. I’d gotten pretty good at defusing Rigel’s occasional spurts of jealousy, but keeping big secrets from him was bound to make that harder.
 

Ever since that one almost-fight last fall (which I’d broken up), Sean and Rigel hadn’t exchanged anything worse than occasional snide comments, instead making an effort to at least
pretend
to be friends, for my sake. I was proud of them both and hated to think that truce might be threatened now.

“I heard everything Trina said,” I told Rigel as we left for the cafeteria, wishing more than ever I could hold his hand. Stupid deal. No, a deal that saved Rigel’s life, I reminded myself sternly—and quietly.

“Yeah, I wish she’d lay off.” Waves of irritation poured off him, distracting him. “If she’s not trying to set me up with one of the other cheerleaders, she’s trying to get me to ask
her
out or go to some party.”

“I guess she’s made a project out of you.” But my attempt at a joke backfired.

I hate everyone feeling sorry for me!
he thought fiercely.
I mean, I know you still…that we’re still…

I surreptitiously brushed his hand.
I still love you more than anything, Rigel! That hasn’t changed at
all
! But if it would make you feel less…feel more… I don’t know…feel
better
, you can go to parties and stuff. I won’t get mad. I’ll know it’s just part of the act.

“Hey, guys.” Sean came up from behind and wedged himself between us. “No need for a Bodyguard now that I’m here.” He grinned at Rigel and threw an arm around my shoulders.
 

When the O’Garas first got to Jewel, I’d learned there was some kind of Martian taboo about people touching the Sovereign. They’d been so careful about it at first, it made me feel weird. Now I wished I hadn’t given Sean blanket permission to do this sort of thing whenever he thought it would “look good.” He was definitely taking way too much advantage of it.
 

That’s for sure.
Rigel’s thought reminded me yet again how careful I needed to be.
He’s the one you need your body guarded from.
His irritation surged back, along with a seriously rude comment about Sean he luckily didn’t say out loud.
 

“You coming to the game tomorrow night?” Sean asked, oblivious. “First game of Sectionals, can you believe it?”

Rigel answered for both of us, managing to sound like he wasn’t gritting his teeth, though I could tell he was. “We’ll both be there, unless M’s aunt keeps her home.”

“She’s been loads better lately.” I wondered how either of them could even think about basketball when we were leaving for freaking
Mars
in three weeks.
 

“Loads better than when
we
—” Rigel began, then broke off.

Between us, Sean grinned widely. “Hey, it’s not my fault she trusts me more, or likes me better, or whatever.”

“Stop it, Sean,” I snapped. “It’s your mom she likes so much, and you know it. And you know why.”

In addition to her lie-detector power, Mrs. O’Gara had the Royal ability to gently persuade other people to her way of thinking. Sort of a psychic “push.” It creeped me out at first, but now I was figuring out how to use it myself, it was kind of cool. Especially when it worked on super-strict Aunt Theresa.

Sean shrugged, still grinning. “If you say so.”
 

From beyond him I felt Rigel’s jealousy surging up again.
 

I sighed audibly so they’d both know I was tired of playing peacemaker. To my relief, Sean stopped his needling and Rigel’s emotions eased back down to reasonably normal levels. When we got to the lunch table Bri, Deb and Molly had already staked out, I made a point of sitting next to Rigel, something I couldn’t often do these days. The seat on my other side was empty, but only because Sean had been waylaid by a bunch of other basketball players and a few cheerleaders.
 

I tried not to be annoyed how everyone took it for granted now that Sean and I would sit together. Instead, I took my opportunity to talk silently to Rigel before we got sucked into any of the conversations already going on around us.

Don’t let Sean get to you,
I thought as I opened my milk carton.
You know he just likes getting a rise out of you.

I know. Sorry. It’s not fair to you, especially when you feel everything I feel. I’ll try to do better.

It won’t last forever,
I promised.
Maybe once we get to Mars, everything will change and we’ll be able to—

Don’t!
His sudden anguish startled me.
Don’t get my hopes up, when for all we know we might have to do this for months or even years. I’m just…taking it a day at a time, okay?

It helped
me
to believe things would get better soon, to look ahead to a day when we wouldn’t have to pretend anymore, but I couldn’t force Rigel to share my view. Instead of arguing, I offered him one of my cookies, which he took with an answering smile and a noticeable lessening of tension in his face and emotions.
Better?
I thought, losing myself in his eyes for a moment, something I used to do all the time before—