Starbright (The Starbright Series) (42 page)

             
Nothing.

             
“We should go,” Jupiter announced authoritatively, his voice cutting through a silent sky.

             
“He’s right,” Nate laughed nervously. “All this light might have some adverse reaction on the marine life down there.”

             
I looked down then, and realized we were still over the ocean. From up high
I watched
the
white crests of the waves crash
together in a volatile but vast, never ending
struggle. The water was angry and troubled, anticipating a storm. And everything was black, except for the very tips of the high waves, the foam that bubbled and simmered and then was forced under as another big upsurge of water washed over its top.

             
Seth took my hand in his and we moved as one unit, with our lights dimmed, back toward home. But I couldn’t take my eyes off the water. As we flew over the last of the Atlantic, my eyes never left the small bits of white that were drowned over and over by the black waves. As the brewing storm electrified the atmosphere, I had to wonder if we were fighting the same battle…. If our light was as little as the bits of foam on the top of each wave, only visible for a moment before being drowned into the deep abyss of the dark sea.

             
Were we also on the verge of a storm?

Chapter Seventeen

             
“Don’t let them pull you into an all-night discussion,” Seth whispered once we were back on the solid gravel ground of my driveway. “You deserve to go to bed.” He put his hand on the small of my back, ushering me inside. He tried to get me up the stairs but I think Jupiter caught on to what he was trying to do.

             
“We need to talk about what happened,” Jupiter called in his rough, domineering voice. “Stella, we need to hear what was said and what exactly happened.”

             
I turned around, fully willing to oblige. I knew they needed to hear what was said and what Aliah wanted.
Seth
needed our protection, not me. I shuddered involuntarily, not even allowing myself to think of what could and would happen to Seth if Aliah managed to succeed.

             
“Not tonight,” Seth answered before I could open my mouth to agree with Jupiter. “We’ve all been through a lot tonight, Stella more than the rest of us. Let her rest. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

             
Jupiter demanded respect and obed
ience. I was
positive even humans would recognize there was something about him that forced everyone to listen closer and pay better attention when he asked for it. And Seth was usually so laid back that sometimes I didn’t even know if he was serious or not. But I would never second guess him again. His voice had hardened, demanding unquestioned acceptance. He was in command now, he was calling the shots. His hand pressed firmly against my back, the heat from his skin blazing an imprint through my shirt. H
is body was tau
t next to me, completely called to attention.

             
Everyone’s eyes had turned their attention to us, me with one foot on the servant’s staircase ready to go up to my room or back to the
kitchen table, depending on whose
authority won out; and Seth, his body half in front of me, his arm tightly wound around my waist. A flood of warmth rushed through me, completely unrelated to my inner light, as I recognized again the depth of his defense and protectiveness when it came to me. Part of it was an ability he was born with, and the other part, the part that wrapped itself around my heart in a tight, stronghold of adoration, was purely him, purely his desire to guard me against every kind of evil out there, even late night discussions when all I really wanted to do was crawl under my warm covers and not surface again until the bright light of day when I could feel safe again.

             
Jupiter eyed him carefully, his red eyes narrowed in a scrutinizing stare. He looked like he wanted
to
argue with Seth, but instead he deferred the final decision to my father with an abrupt lift of his chin.

             
“Stella, is there anything we have to know tonight?” my dad asked casually. Everyone in the room seemed acutely aware of just how tightly strung Seth was at this point.

             
“Nothing that can’t wait until dawn,” I whispered, my throat raw with the effort. So many emotions and fears were
twisting inside of
me;
I wasn’t even sure what I would tell them in the morning. I knew I had more questions than answers though.
Did they know Aliah from before? Did they know how evil he was now? What he was capable of now? Did they even know this depth of depravity existed? Did they know he had
stripped
me of every confident thought and action I had ever accomplished and left me
exposed
,
bare and vulnerable? Did they know I wasn’t enough now, and maybe never would be enough?

             
Did they know this planet would fall just like all the rest of them?

             
And that I was helpless to stop it from happening?

             
“Don’t.” Seth commanded, his low voice a growl in my ear. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t. Let’s get you to bed.”

             
I shook my head and tried to clear it of those awful, paralyzing thoughts and realized I had started to tremble. I refocused my eyes and turned around so that Seth could lead me up the stairs and
to my room. Each step felt painful and took effort. Each movement of my body was forced and struggled for.

             
I was exhausted. But I was more than anything disturbed deeply by what happened tonight. More than the fear of my almost death was the realization that Aliah could have done anything to me and I wouldn’t have been able to stop him. Besides the number of sins he was capable of committing against me, it was more that I was weak and helpless in his arms. He had debilitated me before I could even wrap my head around what was happening and he had forced his
D
arkness into me while only embers of my abilities flickered against his all-consuming power.

             
He was so much more than I could ever have imagined facing.

             
So much more evil than I ever believed existed.

             
Or ever wanted to believe existed.

             
Seth opened my bedroom door and turned on the bedside lamp so that the room was illuminated by a soft, warm glow of light. I stepped inside my room feeling like I didn’t belong here anymore. This was the room of a naïve, sheltered child and I had come home tonight as a wide-eyed, inadequate failure.

             
This room was for those who believed they were still safe.

             
I
wasn’t
safe.

             
“Come to me,” Seth demanded. And I obeyed.

             
He was leaning against the closed
door;
his shoulders were still painfully tight, his light still shimmering around him. His eyes were a perfect color of honey that was deepened with his intensity. He reached out a hand to me, a strong, calloused, perfect hand and I took it so that he could pull me into him and crush me against him again.

             
I didn’t feel safe anymore. All of my disillusions had disappeared.

             
Except in Seth’s arms. Here, against his chest, with the beat of his heart pounding against my cheek and his protective arms shielding me from every dark thing in this world…. here I felt safe.

             
“Whatever you are feeling…. whatever you are thinking…. it’s not your fault,” Seth promised, his voice so thick with emotion that it made my chest constrict until I had to force myself to breathe again.

             
“It’s not yours either,” I whispered. His breath hitched in response and he clutched me impossibly closer. “Seth, he wants you,” I tried to hide the agonizing fear that laced each of my thoughts with despair, but it was useless. The fear seeped in, infected everything inside of me and left me empty of hope.

             
“He won’t get me,” Seth answered simply and I was surprised by the simplicity of his confidence.
“I’ve lived the last eight years knowing two things for certain. One that the Darkness, in whatever form it takes, is actively hunting each and every living, breathing, good thing that exists in this universe. There are levels of denial and safety and naivety, but the Darkness wants us all. And it will stop at nothing until it either has us all or it’s destroy
ed. And the second thing I know
is that at some level…. we all want it to capture us.”

             
I stopped breathing completely at his words. I had been scared into reality tonight. But Seth lived with a level of pain and struggling that I couldn’t even begin to comprehend, not at any level. And as easy as it would be for me to believe him, especially after tonight…. I had to believe there was an in between the pain of his path and the reality of the world we lived in.
 
 

             
“We fight two battles, Stella,” he continued and now I knew he was right. “One against the Darkness that threatens everything we know and love. And another against ourselves and what we would destroy should we give into the Darkness and
end
it all ourselves.”

             
We stayed like that for a few more minutes, before he slipped a finger under my chin and tilted my face upward to look at him. He leaned down into me and despite tonight’s events the room swam in my peripheral vision. His face was the only
thing I could see clearly, his piercing eyes, his chiseled jawline, his full, wet lips.

             
I felt my own lips tremble just before they met his with soft, yielding pressure. He kissed me sweetly, gently and I had never felt more delicate but protected in my entire life. The kiss, my first kiss ever, only lasted for a few seconds, but it
was enough to change me, rearrange the most secret places of me, and forever move some pieces of me that would never go back to being the same
.

             
In the sweetness of his gesture I felt every fear and insecurity he had and held for me, but I also felt the depth of his emotion, the hope he had for us and in the undiscovered future neither one of us fully realized yet. He was so much more than the Angel I met just over a month ago, so much more important to every fiber of my life.

             
“Get some sleep, Stel, everything will feel less heavy in the morning,” he smiled down at me, disarming me with his perfect, easy grace.

             
“Promise?” I asked in a small voice.

             
“Promise,” he said finally and then released me. He left my room and suddenly the space around me felt ginormous and coldly empty.

             
I changed into fresh pajamas and lay down in my bed with thousands of thoughts swirling around in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to turn off the lamp, especially with Seth gone
. I listened for a while to the conversation that continued after Seth returned downstairs, but eventually the voices quieted and then disappeared completely, although I was almost positive no one had left our house.

I willed myself to
shut down and go to sleep but there was too much going on inside of me, too much had happened tonight.

             
I wouldn’t allow myself to think on Aliah directly, or dwell on what could have happened tonight. The memories and insecurities snapped through my thoughts like a disjointed, half-dis
torted slide show on repeat.
I knew if I tried to dissect what went wrong I would only be swallowed up by the feeling of failure.

             
Vulnerable.

             
That’s the emotion that kept trying to choke me.

             
And vulnerable in the worst way possible…. in the way that ended with a quick slice of a sword blade and my head
rolling
off my body in a hollowed out thump
on the ground
.

             
A violent shudder rippled through me.

             
Pull it together.

             
And I was almost there, almost whole again when a soft, but stern tapping on my window had my heart in my throat desperately trying to pound a hole in my trachea. I sat up straight in bed, wild-eyed and so disturbingly paranoid it was painful. My breathing was labored and fast and my hands had begun to shake as I went for my katana hidden under my mattress. I felt like an unstable burst of light vibrating uncontrollably, waiting to be unleashed against the planet.