had an emotional block against using her bolts she was learning
how to control them and let them out bit by bit. Only someone who
didnt mind getting fried could fight her hand to hand. Now,
coupled with the power of the cestus, which made her impervious
to any weapon, Helen had become nearly undefeatable.
Toward the end of their session that day Hector tried to put her
in a Kimura and she electrocuted him for the third time. He
dropped unconscious to the mat. After a moment, she approached
him and nudged him with her toe.
Are we done here? she asked him with raised eyebrows when
he came around.
You still dont know how to fight, he mumbled as he wiped
blood off of his lips.
You bit through your tongue, Helen said flatly. You should
probably take a break.
Helen went to her corner to drink some water. She saw Claire,
Jason, Cassandra, and Ariadne all staring at her from outside the
fight cage. Jason was the first to move. He took two long strides,
jumped fluidly over the metal fence, and landed next to his shaking
brother.
I think thats enough, Hector, Jason said. She doesnt need any
more training.
She cant even throw a punch! Hector protested, slurring his
words.
She doesnt need to, Cassandra said with finality. She doesnt
need to learn to punch or hold a sword or shoot an arrow to defend
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herself. Shes already ten times more lethal than you are, Hector,
and if you keep trying to find a way to beat her youre going to end
up brain dead. These sessions are over.
Cassandra stood up and walked out of the dojo.
Shes still vulnerable! Hector shouted after Cassandras retreating
figure. There are a million ways to subdue her once you find a
way to get around her bolts!
Enough, Hector, Jason said gently. Cassandras right. Figure
out her vulnerabilities and train her to deal with them, but the dojo
work is done. Hand-to-hand combat is not something she ever has
to fear.
So no more chaperone? Helen asked, raising her eyes from her
empty water bottle. The Delos kids looked at each other,
shrugging.
I guess not, Hector finally concluded. At least not until Cassandra
foresees a threat. Then, I dont care how lethal you are, one
of us will be with you at all times again.
May I go until then? Helen asked, looking at Hector and waiting
politely for permission. He nodded. She bowed to him and then
jumped into the air.
Wait, Lennie! Claire shouted up at her. We were going to
throw you a party. Kate made you a cake!
Helen saw Claire, saw how worried she was, but she couldnt do
what Claire wanted. She couldnt pretend to be cheerful. Not for a
few hours while everyone threw her a party, not for half an hour to
let them at least sing Happy Birthday and scarf down some cake,
and not even for the five minutes it would take to explain to Claire
why she couldnt do any of those things.
Love you, she called out to her best friend before she flew away.
She thought she heard Jason say something like Lucas is the
same while she pulled open the door and soared out, but she
might have imagined it.
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She didnt have a destination or a time limitshe only knew that
she wasnt allowed off island. Shed given Lucas her word, and she
wasnt about to break it now. Helen needed so desperately for their
promises to be true, she wasnt willing to break any of themnot
even the one that might bring her some comfort. She might never
get to go to Patagonia with Lucas, but the least she could do to
keep faith between them was to not fly over the ocean until he told
her it was okay.
She could, however, go right to the edge. Shed avoided Great
Point for the past weeknot because she was worried shed break
down and cry if she went there, but because she was worried she
wouldnt. She was starting to get frightened that she would never
going to feel anything again. That she would become as sterile and
lifeless as one of those pale flowers she saw in her nighttime wandering.
She had enough sense to ask herself why she was reacting
the way she was, but not enough clarity to discover the answer.
Until she saw Lucas sitting on top of the lighthouse.
He was perched right on the edge of the catwalk that wrapped
around the glass dome at the top of the lighthouse, watching the
last bit of the day drag itself down behind the horizon. A storm was
gathering over the water, and the fruit-punch colors of the sunset
seemed to be trying to claw their way out of the rain clouds. His
skin was painted with that dying light and he was, as always,
beautiful.
Then Helen understood why she was pent up like a dam instead
of bawling like a waterfall. She wasnt sad. She was furious.
As she flew toward him, he saw her and stood. Helen didnt land
on the catwalk. Instead, she floated in front of him, claiming the
air for herself. For a moment, they just stared at each other, both of
them too overwhelmed to break the silence with speech.
What are you doing here? Lucas said at last, his sunken eyes
wide and hungry for the sight of her. Helen ignored his stupid
question and said the first thing that came to mind.
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Why didnt you tell me? she demanded, angry and hurt and not
sure what she wanted to hear from him. Right from the start. Why
couldnt you at least explain to me why we couldnt be together?
If you wanted to know, why didnt you just answer the phone
one of the thousand times Ive called you this past week? he demanded
in return, just as angry and hurt as she was.
Stop it! Stop asking me questions when youre the one with all
the answers! she bellowed at him, finally feeling the hitch and
sting of tears in her throat.
The dam was about to burst, and she knew that what was going
to come out would be ugly, red-faced sobbing. She had to get as far
away from Lucas as possible. She summoned one of the turbulent
storm winds to yank her body away and take her wherever it chose,
but Lucas felt her recklessness. He dove into the air and caught her
before she could be chewed up by the storm she was so drastically
underestimating. As soon as he had her safe again in his arms he
broke down and kissed her.
Helen was so stunned she stopped crying before she had a chance
to start and nearly fell out of the sky. Still the better flyer, Lucas
caught her and supported her as they tumbled on the wind, holding
and kissing each other as he guided them safely back down to
the catwalk. As their feet touched down, the light inside the lighthouse
switched on and projected the shadows of their embracing
figures out onto the choppy waves of the ocean.
I cant lose you, Lucas said, pulling his mouth away from hers.
Thats why I didnt tell you the whole truth. I thought if you knew
how bad it was youd send me away. I didnt want you to give up
hope. I cant do this if you give up on us.
I dont want to give up, Helen cried. But there can never be an
us, Lucas. You should have told me that.
Dont say never, he said. He brushed his face against her neck,
no longer kissing her, but unable to let her go completely. Nothing
is forever, and there are no absolutes. Well find a way.
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Lucas, Helen said, frowning and pushing against his chest until
he let her go. She sat down on the catwalk and pulled him down
next to her so they could talk. We would hate ourselves. And eventually,
wed hate each other.
I know that! he said, his voice rising desperately. Im not talking
about running off and doing whatever we want!
Then, what? Helen asked softly, calming him down. What are
we supposed to do?
I dont know yet, he admitted. He leaned back against the glass
wall of the lighthouse and pulled Helen against his chest. But I
will not go through another week like this last one.
Me neither, she said. She rested against him, fully relaxing for
the first time in days. I dont care how hard being together is,
nothing is worse than being apart.
What was it you told me? Decide what you cant do and then do
the opposite? he asked with an amused smile, pressing his lips
against her forehead. At least now we know we cant be apart.
It was like being dead, she said fearfully, as if even mentioning
the numbness she had felt would allow it to creep back into her
body.
For me too, he said in a strange, strangled voice.
What about your mother? She wont allow us to be together.
Well have to talk with her. Well have to talk to my whole
family.
And if they still want to separate us?
Then we run, Lucas said, his voice low and even.
Neither of them said anything for a while. They just watched the
beacon light flash across the foaming waves of the storm-churned
ocean. Helen could hear his heart pounding, but his grip on her
only tightened as if he was already bracing himself for the battle he
would have to fight to keep her close to him.
Theyll chase us, she whispered. Theyll think weve started the
war.
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I know, Lucas said. But we wont. Well keep the Truce, even if
they dont believe that we can.
We dont have to make the same mistakes that they did, Helen
said defiantly. It makes me so angry that everyone assumes that
even though we know what would happen, well still go out and do
the same stupid thing.
Lucas laughed, but there was no joy in the sound.
Its almost as if we dont need to live our lives or feel our feelings
at all, because someone already told us what the ending was going
to be, he said bitterly. She could feel him tensing with indignation,
until a new and serious thought stilled him. Are you really willing
to do this? You know that it would mean youd have to leave your
father behind?
I know, she said, knowing full well shed be hurting her father
far worse than her mother ever did, but also knowing that she
would do it for Lucasfor both of them.
I understand if you cant do this he began, but Helen cut him
off.
If they wont let us stay together, we have no choice. We have to
run away.
It wont be forever, he said, trying to console her as well as himself.
Just until we can figure out a way around this. And we will
figure it out. There has to be a way.
Ive thought of something, Helen said, her whole body going
still. She felt Lucas tense.
I think I know where youre going with this, and I dont think I
want to hear you say it, he said uncertainly.
What if I wasnt a virgin? Helen said quickly, just to get it over
with.
Im not sharing you, Helen, he replied immediately. Besides, it
wont work.
Im serious, we have to consider it, she insisted, struggling in
his arms until he loosened his grip enough for her to lean back and
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look at him. Tell me the truth. Would you stop wanting me if I was
with someone else first?
Of course not, he said, smiling tenderly at her. And I dont just
want you, Helen. I love you. Big difference.
Okay, look. I hate to even think about this, but Ill do it, Helen
pleaded as Lucas started to shake his head vehemently. I love you,
too, and Ill do whatever I have to do if it will let us be together.
What? Why are you shaking your head? Youre not the only one
making this decision, you know.
Tricks like that wont work, not unless you just want something
physical. Is that all you want from me? Sex? he teased.
Of course not, you know that! Helen said in frustration, shoving
him away from her. I just told you I loved you!
Thats why it wont work, he said. He took her hands and pulled
her closer to him. If you and I were to be together the way we
want, or at least the way I want he began uncertainly.
And what do you want, exactly? Helen interrupted urgently.
I want it all. Everything we talked about. I want us to go to
school, learn a dozen languages, live all over the world. Most of all,
I want us to be together.
I do, too! Helen said excitedly as if she had found a way out.
And we can do all that without ever getting married!
Wed share everything, he said, shaking his head like Helen
wasnt understanding him. And because of that, wed be considered
a married couple in the eyes of the gods, regardless of who
took your virginity. I want a whole life with you, and because I
want that, you would be my wife. I cant even pretend I would
settle for less.
Youre saying that its our commitment to each other that will
define us to the gods, not a white dress or a ring? Helen asked,
already knowing the answer.
Exactly, he said. Then he suddenly laughed at a thought. Also,
itd be kinda hard to be together if I was in prison.