seen him twice, but she could tell he thought less frequently about
his looks than everyone around him did. His eyes, as pretty as they
were, looked out, rather than back at himself.
She dunked her head underwater and screamed, just to get it all
out without scaring her father. When she came back up she felt a
little better, but was still disappointed in herself. One of the
terrible side effects of feeling like she somehow already knew Lucas
was that she was starting to idealize him, making him more perfect
than was humanly possible. Which was uncomfortable because she
also still wanted to kill him.
She pulled the rubber plug out with her toes and watched the water
creep slowly down the sides of the bathtub until the last of it
sucked down the drain. Then she sat naked in the empty tub, staring
at her white, wrinkled feet until her butt hurt. Eventually, she
knew, she would have to leave the dark bathroom and try to act
normal.
She got dressed and went downstairs to check on her dad, finding
him just walking through the front door. He had run out to buy ice
cream for dinnerand not just any ice cream, but the good stuff
from the gelato place that Helen had banned him from when the
doctor told him to watch his diet.
To bring down your core temperature, he said innocently, shaking
the rain out of his hair.
Is that your story? she asked him, her hands on her hips.
Yup. And Im sticking to it.
She decided to let it go. There would be plenty of time to worry
about his cholesterol in the morning. After so many days with so
little food, rich gelato was probably not the best idea, but it did go
down easily. They sat on the floor of the living room with their beloved
Red Sox on television, passing the pint and spoon back and
forth as they cussed out the Yankees. Neither of them answered the
phone, which continued ringing periodically, and Jerry didnt push
Helen to explain what had happened. Claires mom would never
have let her get off this easy. Sometimes there were advantages to
being raised by a single dad.
Helen had to change her sheets before she went to bed. The
stains from the night before had not disappeared as she had hoped,
but tonight she had bigger things to worry about than sleepwalking.
For one thing, she could hear someone or something moving
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around on the widows walk. It was different from the sounds she
had heard the night before. This time there were actual footsteps
directly above her instead of just amorphous whispers coming
from all sides. Helen didnt know what would be worsegoing up
there and finding a gang of intruding monsters or finding nothing
at all. For a moment Helen wondered if she was starting to crack
up. She decided not to go up to check. Shed seen enough ghosts
already that day.
The next morning, Helen went to see Dr. Cunningham. After a few
minutes of flashing a penlight in her eyes and thumping her on the
chest, Dr. Cunningham told her father that there didnt seem to be
any permanent damage done. Then he yelled at Helen and told her
she was far too fair to be walking around without a hat on. She
didnt know how it had happened, but after one trip to the doctor
her meltdown had been brushed off as nothing more than the carelessness
of not keeping her head covered. At least the checkup got
her out of school for the day.
When she got home, Helen opened her computer and spent a few
frustrating hours online trying to find some information on the
three women who were plaguing her. Every search she did overwhelmed
her with so many possibilities that her task seemed hopeless,
and she couldnt narrow it down because she didnt have any
real context for what it was she had seen. Were they ghosts? Demons?
Or just her own personal manifestations of crazy? It was entirely
possible that she had hallucinated the whole thing, and now
that she didnt feel so enraged she was almost starting to think
maybe she had had heatstroke. Almost.
Claire came over in the afternoon to deliver some bad news. The
whole school thinks youre on your way to an institution as we
speak, she said as soon as they sat down in the family room. You
shouldve come in today.
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Why? Helen asked with a grimace. It doesnt matter when I
come back, no ones ever going to forget this.
True. It was pretty bad, Claire said. She paused for a moment
before speaking in a rush. You scared the crap of me, you know.
Sorry, Helen apologized with a weak smile. So, was he in
school today? For some reason she felt like she just had to know,
but she couldnt bring herself to say his name out loud.
Yeah. He asked me about you. Well, he didnt actually talk to
me, but Jason did. Hes a jackass, by the way. Claire started talking
with increasing heat. Get this. So he comes up to me at lunch,
right? And he starts asking me all these questions about you. Like,
how long have I known you, where are you from, did I ever meet
your mom before she skipped town . . .
My mom? Thats weird, Helen interrupted.
And I start answering him with my usual flair for clever repartee,
Claire said, a bit too innocently.
Translation: you insulted him.
Whatever. Then that chump had the huevos to call me little
girl! Can you believe it?
Imagine. You, described as little, Helen said in a droll voice.
So what did you tell him?
The truth. That weve been friends since birth and neither of us
really remembers your mom, and that she didnt leave any pictures
or anything, but that your dads always going on about how she
was this incredible beauty and how she was so smart and talented
and everything, and blah-blah-blah. It doesnt take a rocket scientist
to figure out that your mom had to be hot. I mean, look at your
dad and then look at you, Claire said with a knowing glint in her
eyes.
Helen winced at the compliment. Is that it? Lucas didnt say
anything else? Helens hands were curled up into fists. She found
it hard to so much as say his name without wanting to punch
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someone in the head. Obviously, she either still had heatstroke or
she really was going out of her mind.
Hasnt said a thing. But I did hear a rumor that Zach was talking
trash about you and Lucas shut him down hard.
Really? Helen said, perking up. Shut him down in what way?
He wouldnt let anyone say anything bad about you, is all. You
know how Zach and Gretchen are. But Lucas wouldnt hear it. He
kept saying you felt like you had a really bad fever when he . . . did
that thing that he did. What would you call that, anyway? A backassed
bear hug?
Helen groaned and buried her face in her hands.
Its all right, Claire said, patting her back consolingly. Hes not
going around telling everyone youre monkey-butt crazy, so at least
you brutalized a seriously sweet guy. Helen groaned louder and
tried to crawl into the sofa while Claire had a nice, long laugh at
her expense.
That night, Helen had another nightmare about the dry land.
When she woke she was so tired and sore that for a moment she almost
believed that she had been walking for days, just like she had
dreamed. She had always been good at ignoring strange things
about herself, and she tried to convince herself that this was no different,
but her hands shook as she bundled up her dirty sheets and
took them to the laundry room.
Helen washed the grit off in the shower and tried to focus on
school, though that was no comfort, either. As soon as she walked
into Nantucket High, it was going to be open season on the freak,
and the freak knew it.
It was still raining out, so she had to get a ride with Claire and
her mother. Helen put a hand over her tummy, afraid of a cramp
before she even got out of the car. She had never really understood
why she got cramps; she just knew that sometimes when she did
something that made people stare at her she was seized with a
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crippling spasm in her stomach that was so intense it made her
stop whatever it was that she was doing.
Relax, Claire said as they opened their doors to get out. All you
have to do is make it through today and then you have the whole
weekend to . . . she trailed off, thinking. Nope. Sorry, Len, I tried
to be optimistic, but thisll still suck on Monday. Claire started
laughing, and the sound cheered Helen up a bituntil they got inside
the school.
It was worse than shed imagined. A group of underclassman
girls literally gasped and huddled up to gossip as soon as they saw
Helen come through the front doors. A senior boy with a leather
fetish leered at Helen and called her hellcat just as he was
passing by. When she turned to stare back at him in astonishment
he mouthed the words call me before continuing on.
I dont think I can do this, Helen whispered. Claire put a hand
on her back and pushed her forward.
Every time someones eyes landed on her and widened with recognition
she got closer and closer to a panic attack. Was she going
to have to suffer through the rest of junior year like this? Helen
tried to melt into Claires shadow and realized that if it was cover
she was after, she was going to have to find some bigger friends.
Quit stepping on the backs of my feet! Claire complained. Why
dont you just go hide out with Hergie while I get your stuff out of
your locker?
Gratefully, Helen ducked into homeroom and tried to blend in
with her desk. Mr. Hergeshimer asked if she was feeling better,
and then ignored her completely as soon as she answered that she
was feeling fine. She could have kissed him for that.
Matt just waved and sat down without a word. Helen guessed
correctly that he had been threatened by Claire to act like hed forgotten
the whole thing, but he kept trying to stop himself from
glancing over at her, so Helen knew he was still really worried. She
caught his eye and smiled warmly, and after that he seemed a little
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less preoccupied. Zach turned his head and looked out the window
as soon as he took his seat, making a big show of not looking at
her.
She made it through the rest of the morning without incident,
right up until lunch. As she walked to the cafeteria she realized too
late that she was going to pass by Lucass locker. She was about to
turn and go another way, which was ridiculous because that would
mean she would have to literally go around the entire school, when
she was spotted.
Gretchen and Zach noticed her as she stood wavering indecisively
in the middle of the hall. They were at their lockers, which just so
happened to be right next to Lucass and Jasons. Some of the fuzz
fell off of Helens memory and she recalled Gretchens and Zachs
petrified faces floating around in the background as she tried to
choke Lucas. It made alphabetical sense for their lockers to be together,
BrantB, CliffordC, DelosD, but Helen blamed her terrible
luck for the fact that all of the most popular people in her
grade had been firsthand witnesses to her moment of utter
humiliation.
She had no choiceshe was just going to have to walk past them.
Gretchen and Zach didnt say a word and their faces didnt show
any expression at all as Helen hurried by with her shoulders practically
in her ears. At least Lucas wasnt there, she thought, ducking
into the cafeteria.
Stand up straight! Youre going to give yourself scoliosis, Claire
scolded when Helen got to their table.
Sorry. I just had to go by his locker, Helen explained quietly.
Matt made a disgusted sound.
You can calm down, Lennie, he snapped. None of them are
here today.
Supposedly they all took the day off because the aunt and the
eldest Delos kid finally got to the island this morning, Claire said.
Oh yeah, great, Helen mused. Theres another one.
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Hector. Hes a senior, Claire added helpfully, although she
could have no idea that saying his name didnt help Helen at all. In
fact, for some inexplicable reason, it ticked her off.
No news on him yet. Zach will probably call me with an update
this weekend, Matt said with a shrug. He always knows where
everyone is and what theyre doing.
The rest of the day dragged by, although there was some relief in
knowing that she wasnt going to bump into the Delos kids or the
wraiths that seemed to appear whenever they did. She even started
to enjoy herself during track practice as she ran through the fog
and splashed in muddy puddles with Claire. Coach Tar didnt say a
thing about Helens pathetically slow run time when she came in,
although Helen knew she wouldnt be able to get away with that for
much longer. She had an athletic scholarship to win, and Coach
Tar was not about to forget it.