Stardust (The Starlight Trilogy #3) (7 page)

“Didn’t you hear, Miss Sutton?” Mr. Mertz rounded his desk, straightening his tie. “The foul-mouthed hooligan wants nothing to do with you.”

Hatred flashed in Nathan’s eyes. “Let us out, Luther.”

Mr. Mertz scowled. “Now, now, boy. Remember our arrangement.”

Nathan flinched.

Olivia gaped at him. “Nathan, what is he talking about?”

Mr. Mertz clutched his belly and expelled a chuckle. Unlike his usual modus operandi, his amusement exuded sincerity. “Miss Weston, you don’t know Mr. Taggart as well as you think you do.”

Nathan clenched his teeth. “Olivia, I want you to leave. And take your friends with you.”

“My friends? You mean
our
friends!” Tears trailed down her cheeks. “You must come with us! We’re your future, not Mr. Mertz!”

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken.” Mr. Mertz’s bleeding lips stretched into a sinister grin. “He belongs to me.”

“Are you kidding?” Matthew rushed over to Nathan. “You’re choosing Mertz over us?”

Nathan’s gaze chilled. “Yes. Now get out.”

Mr. Mertz nodded at the security guards. They moved out of the way.

With a gut-wrenching sob, Olivia dashed out of the office. Beth, Matthew, and Connie followed. While her friends approached the elevator, Beth made a beeline for the stairs.

She ran all the way down to the main floor and burst through the front doors. Twice she scoured the perimeter of the building, but she was too late. Aidan was gone.

After Aidan left, Beth gravitated to the only place she belonged. As she lay curled up in his bed, wearing his T-shirt, time slipped by uneventfully. Neither morning nor night held significance anymore. Even the day seemed smothered in blackness.

She had no idea how long she had been at his house but was thankful he’d given her a key on Valentine’s Day. All she wanted to do was shut herself off from the world and mourn his loss without distractions.

Even in his absence, Aidan was still with her, dominating her universe. She couldn’t shed him, nor did she want to. She didn’t want to forget the details of his face, how she felt when he touched her, the way her heart swelled whenever he said he loved her. It was all she had left now.

Although she wished to remember only the good times between them, she was tortured by the fact that she hadn’t fought hard enough for their relationship. Aidan had been right in front of her, and foolishly, she had let him go. She should’ve held him tighter, or argued with the security guards blocking the exit so she could’ve run after him right away. Something, anything, other than what she’d done.

Her appetite was gone. Every movement fatigued her. Her head ached, and a muddy haze hampered her thoughts. In an effort to cope, she hummed the tune Aidan wrote for her or immersed herself in the scent of his clothing and bed sheets, but it only made her miss him more. Sleep brought no relief. She dreamed of them together, kissing, laughing, and so in love—only to wake up screaming, shaking, and sweaty, forced to come to terms with her lonely, pointless existence all over again.

She hoped Aidan would stop by his house before leaving town. He didn’t specify a departure, but there was no way he’d remain in L.A. New York City was the most logical destination, and he’d want to bring his belongings with him, right? Well, when he did show up, she’d be waiting. And this time, she would not allow him to leave without her.

A noise echoed through the house. Beth shot up in bed, straining to hear more. A thump followed, then a creaking door. “Aidan!” She jumped out of bed and shot down the hallway. When she reached the front foyer, she collapsed into a sobbing heap on the floor. “Aidan! Aidan!”

“Beth!” Connie kneeled next to her. “Are you all right?”

“All right?” Beth screeched the words through her parched throat. “Of course I’m not all right. You’re not him. He’s gone. He’s gone!”

“Come on. Get up.” Connie held her arm and coaxed her to stand.

Beth jerked away and dropped back to the floor. “Leave me alone.”

“I’m not
leaving unless you’re coming with me.”

Beth pulled her knees to her chest and rocked back and forth. “I can’t. I need to be here when he returns.”

“And what if he doesn’t return?”

Beth hiccupped. “He must. All of his clothes are here. His Triumph. He…he loves that motorcycle.”

Connie sighed. “Oh, Beth. What’s happened to you?”

“I can’t go on.” Beth cried so hard she could barely talk. “Not if he’s not with me. I…I can’t…”

“Okay, relax. You’ve worked yourself up into such a state. Take some slow, deep breaths.” Connie rubbed her back. “How about we move from the hallway? We won’t leave the house. I promise. The floor just isn’t very comfortable.”

Beth nodded and allowed Connie to escort her back to Aidan’s bedroom. Connie turned on the table lamp while Beth crawled under the covers. Even in the dim light, her eyes stung. She was so used to darkness.

Connie sat at the edge of the bed and folded her hands in her lap. “Beth, it’s not beneficial for you to stay here. You won’t heal this way.”

“I don’t want to heal. Don’t you understand?” Beth let out a whimper. “I won’t feel whole again until I’m reunited with Aidan.”

Connie rolled her eyes. “That’s ludicrous. I knew you before you officially began dating Aidan. You weren’t helpless. In fact, you were doing very well on your own.”

“I don’t want to live if he’s not with me.”

Connie scowled. “You know, I never said anything before because you’re my friend and I didn’t want to be rude, but your relationship with Aidan was never healthy.”

Beth’s anger rose up over her anguish. “Excuse me?”

“Your dynamic with him is what got you into this mess in the first place. You always put his needs before your own instead of considering what’s best for you as well, and he did the same. You were both self-sacrificing to a fault and depended on each other way too much.”

Beth scrambled to the opposite side of the bed, as far away from Connie as possible without ending up on the floor. “You have some nerve to tell me our relationship was no good! Aidan made me a better person. As for depending on someone, that’s called true love. I’m sorry you have the misfortunate of lacking a relationship as strong as ours.” She thrust her finger toward the door. “Leave. You’re not welcome here.”

“No. Not until you hear me out.”

Beth scoffed. “You’ve said quite enough already, thank you very much.”

Connie crossed her arms over her chest. “You and Aidan existed in a bubble for so long, where the sun rose and set solely for the two of you. Did you ever consider you weren’t the only people affected by what occurred in Luther Mertz’s office?”

Beth frowned. “What do you mean?”

Connie’s mouth dropped open. “What do I mean? How about Olivia
,
for starters! She lost Nathan just like you lost Aidan. He hasn’t returned home. He hasn’t contacted her, nor can she reach him. Now you’ve abandoned her, too, to mope around here like everyone else ceases to exist.”

Connie shook her head. “You think your pain is the only pain that matters and no one else can relate or come close to feeling as bad as you do. Well, you’re wrong. I’m upset, too, you know. Yet I’ve still made it a priority to check in on Olivia. Why can’t you make the same effort? She’s always been there for you. And this is how you show your gratitude?”

Beth clutched the covers. “I didn’t mean to abandon her. Being here just feels right. I don’t know how else to deal with everything that happened.”

“You fight! And I don’t mean in the physical sense. I mean mentally and emotionally collecting yourself enough to move forward and take back control of your life.” A tear rolled down Connie’s cheek. “I went through hell during my first year in L.A. and bottled up my feelings for a long time, trying to forget what happened to me. When Aidan went after Luther, something inside me snapped. I dreamed about revenge for years, but confronting him didn’t cure me like I hoped it would. And I guarantee Aidan came to the same conclusion. I don’t know why he’s so disturbed, but it’s obvious his contention with Luther is not the culprit. It’s simply an outlet for his pain.”

Beth bowed her head. She’d never forget Connie’s attack on Mr. Mertz—the torment on her face, her tragic, desperate attempt to hurt him like he’d hurt her. Perhaps if she had put as much effort into learning about her friends as she did with Aidan, she would’ve noticed that Connie was troubled—Nathan, too. While she made it her mission to help Aidan find peace, her friends deserved the same consideration. She’d failed them.

Beth scooted back across the bed and finally took a good look at Connie, past the perfect teeth, perfect complexion, perfect figure. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair hung in unkempt curls with dark roots. For the first time, she didn’t wear makeup. Connie was a natural beauty, yes, but so sad. Why hadn’t she seen it before?

“What exactly happened with Mr. Mertz?”

The passion that encouraged Connie to stand her ground moments ago drained from her eyes. “When I arrived in Hollywood, I was a naïve, seventeen-year-old named Mildred Johnson. Luther was like the Wizard of Oz to me. He had the ability to grant me anything and everything I wanted because—as he insisted—I had ‘star quality’. He put me through the studio’s beautification process, legally changed my name to Constance Murphy, and arranged a meeting for me with a famous director—” She closed her eyes on a shudder.

Beth grasped Connie’s hand, granting the support she should’ve provided long ago.

Connie exhaled deeply and opened her eyes. “I lost my virginity to that director in a bungalow at the Chateau Marmont. He was much older than me and married with two children. I didn’t like him, let alone love him. In fact, there was no romance at all, just pain and tears. But I agreed to have sex with him because he promised he’d give me the lead in his next film if I did. Afterward, he told his driver to take me home and I never heard from him again. I’ve seen him around the studio and at social events, but I can’t look him in the eye. It’s too upsetting. I’m too ashamed.”

Beth’s heart shattered. Aidan had been so sweet and gentle when they made love. She couldn’t image sharing intimacy with someone she didn’t care about, or someone who didn’t care about her.

“But you were young, Connie. It’s not your fault.”

Connie glared at her. “That’s not an excuse. My parents raised me to respect my mind and my body. I never should’ve allowed my acting ambitions to negatively influence my behavior. But I was so desperate to make it in Hollywood. My parents…they weren’t thrilled with my career choice, but they didn’t forbid me from becoming an actress. Instead, we came to a compromise. If I didn’t get signed to Starlight Studios within a year and have a promising future in the film industry, then I had to return to New Jersey. I sacrificed everything about myself I was proud of in order to get to where I am today, all because I didn’t want to go back home a failure. My parents would’ve welcomed me with open arms, regardless. But still. I wanted to show them I could make it on my own, you know?”

Tears trickled down Connie’s face. She wiped them away with the sleeve of her blouse. “Needless to say, after that night with the director, I was invited to many
business meetings
, all arranged by Luther. I was passed around like some prostitute, constantly reminded that I wasn’t a talented actress, but if I shut up and did as I was told, then one day I’d become a big star. So I went along with it.

“Finally, I received top billing in
Closure
, the role that launched my career, and they left me alone—moving on to the next new girl on the lot, I’m sure. But I didn’t care at that point. I’d made it, and all I wanted to do was forget everything bad I’d done to earn my success. My rationale was that I couldn’t change what happened, but I could make sure no one took advantage of me again.

“Then I met Matthew.” Her lips lifted a little. “We fell in love and all of my former indiscretions became nothing but distant memories—until I saw Aidan attack Luther. I thought after Matthew learned the truth, he’d call off our engagement, but he didn’t. He’s sticking by me and even assisting me in arranging another wedding, now that our June one is canceled on account of Luther’s involvement. He tells me he loves me unconditionally and understands why I withheld everything from him. He also wants to help me address my past and move on in the right away.”

Beth squeezed her hand. “I’m truly glad you two are still a couple.”

“That doesn’t mean I click my heels together and everything is perfect. In films, love conquers all and the good guys win. Real life isn’t so black and white. It’ll take a lot of hard work to deal with everything that happened to me. It’s daunting, and I’m scared to revisit it all, but I’m not giving up. And that’s my advice to you, Beth. Although, it took me years to get to this point, I’m making positive changes nonetheless, and that’s the important thing.”

Beth moved over to provide space for Connie to sit on the bed properly. “I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish with everyone besides Aidan. What I’m going through pales in comparison to your journey. It was insensitive of me to treat you poorly when you showed up here. Thanks for not giving up on me. You’re a great woman and a great friend.”

Connie kicked off her shoes and settled her back against the headboard, stretching her legs in front of her. “Do you know why I was cold toward Aidan right from the beginning?”

Beth considered the question for a moment. “I always assumed it was because of the whole studio-trained actors versus Method-trained actors rivalry in the film industry.”

Connie shook her head. “It’s because Aidan secured a prestigious leading role in Hollywood in an honest way whereas they convinced me I had to sleep my way to the top. I was jealous that it was so easy for him to stand his ground, make demands, and get everything he wanted.”

She frowned. “Beth, I know Nathan arrived and drove you home before anything happened between you and Luther. However, when I heard the news, I felt ill. Maybe if I’d spoken up early on, I could’ve stopped him from going after you—and other actresses, too. I will always regret putting myself first.”