Starfish and Coffee

STARFISH AND COFFEE

Kele Moon

www.loose-id.com

Starfish and Coffee

Copyright © October 2012 by Kele Moon

All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

eISBN 978-1-61118-944-5

Editor: Maryam Salim

Cover Artist: Valerie Tibbs

Published in the United States of America

Published by

Loose Id LLC

PO Box 809

San Francisco CA 94104-0809

www.loose-id.com

This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Warning

This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id LLC’s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

* * * *

DISCLAIMER: Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.

Dedication

For anyone who has ever loved and lost and wished for a second chance.

Special thanks to:

Lori Toland for being such a loyal friend and a passionate writer of M/M romance. Your pride and enthusiasm for this amazing genre inspires me and makes me so very thankful I have a friend who “gets it.”

Laurann Dohner for reading this story over and over and supporting me through the entire creation process. You’re the best CP a girl could ask for and an even better friend.

Lena Matthews for all your valuable feedback! Thank you so much!

Karen M. for dragging me to Key West for the sake of research. That trip inspired so much of what I love about Alex and Matt’s story. Spending time with you is always asking for adventure and I love you for it!

Corey and David for letting me hitch a ride on the plane to Key West and being so helpful along the way. You guys gave this story character! Thank you!

Maryam for being an amazingly patient and encouraging editor.

Saritza for all your help and support. Thank you for being my friend.

And a special thank you to my husband Johnny for always supporting me! You believe in me even on days when I don’t believe in myself. I’m so happy I get to share my life with you.

Chapter One

Alex loved the beach at sunrise, when streaks of pink stretched across the night sky spreading the hope of a new day. He walked across the sand, feeling at home because this was where he was supposed to be. The sound of the waves was the soundtrack to his life, the unique combination of sea breeze and sunscreen the cologne he planned to wear until the day he died.

For the life of him he didn’t know why it felt like the end of a long journey. He’d never left. He’d been on Mirabella Island all along. Then he lifted his gaze to the shoreline, seeing a man standing with his feet buried in the sand as the waves washed over them.

Matt.

Alex’s breath caught, and for a moment he knew this couldn’t be true. Matt was gone, completely out of reach, and as far away from the seashore as one man could be. Alex had only himself to blame, and he almost felt guilty walking to him, but real or not, he’d never been able to resist him.

He came up behind Matt and wrapped his arms around the broad, muscular body that made up every wet dream Alex had had since he was twenty-two. He leaned down and buried his face in the curve of Matt’s neck, breathing him in, finding the familiar scent of expensive aftershave clinging to his skin like it belonged there.

They both wore nothing but swimming suits, and Alex savored the feel of Matt’s warm, powerful back pressed against his chest. He kissed his bare shoulder, and Matt made a low groan in the back of his throat as if he’d been waiting for Alex’s touch all this time.

So long.

It’d been so very long, and Alex’s cock swelled with painful need six years in the making. He threaded his fingers into Matt’s inky hair and tugged his head back roughly, looking for a release from the torture, the loneliness, the overwhelming regret that had become his constant companions.

He stared into Matt’s eyes, clear and honest, a strange blue-green, like the ocean on a breezeless, sunny day. That gaze never stopped being startling against the backdrop of tan skin and a face so handsome Alex felt haunted by its beauty.

Matt’s chest rose and fell with sharp, hard breaths of need. His beautiful eyes reflected the pain of loss too, and it ripped at Alex harsher than his own agony. More than anything, Alex just wanted to see Matt light up the way he used to before life stole the dreams of their youth.

Then Matt turned in his arms and kissed Alex hard, rash and impatient as his tongue pushed into Alex’s mouth. Suddenly the two of them were young and wild, invincible. They could fuck on the beach without fear. They could be in love, and no one was going to take it away from them.

Loving Matt wasn’t going to hurt him—not this time.

Alex realized then the island wasn’t his home; it never had been. Matt was his home, and Alex was still lost. Nothing about this was completely real, but it didn’t matter. He kissed Matt like a man starved. He ran his hands over warm, muscled flesh until he was gripping Matt’s tight ass, forcing their bodies close together. Their cocks brushed, hard and aching, straining against the material of their suits.

Alex wanted Matt naked. He wanted him in the sand, wet and bare and begging. He’d fuck him, and he’d do it without an ounce of remorse. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d done it on this beach, but every other time they were under the cover of darkness, hiding all manner of sins.

Now it was a new morning. A new beginning. Alex was desperate for it, and he pulled at the tie to Matt’s suit with shaking fingers. That small white string was a lifeline, but as he tugged, it fell through his grasp like sand.

He looked up, seeing Matt’s handsome face fade away and turn to dust. He reached frantically for Matt’s shoulders, once powerful and strong. Alex’s fingers slipped through the air, clutching at emptiness. Matt was nothing but a memory now, and Alex had known it. It’d been years since he’d gotten more than just a taste of love lost in these nighttime fantasies; even his subconscious was jaded and burned.

The knowing didn’t stop Alex from crying out in horror and frustration, still grasping in vain at a dream. “No! Matty! Don’t go!”

* * * *

“You’re dreaming, baby.”

Alex shot up in bed, still breathing deeply, looking for that new morning—for Matt. All he found was the shadowy darkness of his bedroom. The waves crashed in the distance, keeping him in that weird place between dreams and reality a little too long to make him anything less than miserable.

Soft arms wrapped around his waist, and a gentle kiss was placed to the curve of his side as he struggled with the collision of reality.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Alex looked down at Holly, wearing an old Jimmy Buffett tank top that stretched way too tight across her breasts and clung to her slim, curvy body like a second skin. Her long, curly brown hair fell past her shoulders in tangled disarray. Her green eyes were heavy-lidded with sleep, but she was still beautiful. Not for the first time, Alex wished he could’ve been made to love her instead. It would’ve made life so much easier—for both of them.

“No.” He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to take comfort from Holly’s soft caresses as she ran her fingers up his bare back. “It’s just the same ol’ bullshit.”

“You’re dreaming about him again,” Holly mused thoughtfully. “It’s been a while. I was hoping that meant you were starting to get over him. Six years is starting to border on pathetic.”

“You’re one to talk,” Alex snapped. Feeling lonely and exposed he searched for a way to defend himself. “You still say my brother’s name in your sleep, ’cause that’s not traumatizing or anything.”

Holly was silent for a long moment before she sighed. “Yeah, I suppose you have a point. I have those dreams too—all the time. As if a part of me is trying to cling to the past, even knowing it’s long gone. I wish I could forget. You ever feel like that? Like you almost wished it never happened just so it wouldn’t hurt so much?”

Alex considered that, the idea of never having had Matt in his life to begin with, and found the thought hurt worse than losing him. Feeling too raw to talk about it anymore, he reached over to the nightstand and turned the clock toward them to stare at the red numbers in the darkness.

“It’s past four.” He leaned closer, squinting at the top of the clock radio. “Did you forget to set it again?”

“Shit!” Holly rolled away from Alex and sprang out of bed. She tugged her tank top off, tossing it carelessly into the corner. “I get the shower first!”

Alex watched her run for the door, a flash of tan skin, curly hair, and florescent pink underwear. Holly was always slower to get ready for work, so he took his time getting out of bed, still clinging to his dream. He finally made his way to the coffeemaker, an expensive one-cup brewer system that’d been worth the money because of the time it saved. They ran late for work more often than not.

It was a good thing he was the boss.

* * * *

One would think working and living together the way they did Alex and Holly would get sick of each other, but they never did. They rarely fought and enjoyed each other’s company most days.

Alex really didn’t understand why everyone believed them to be longtime live-in lovers. They were far too companionable to be romantically involved, but as best friends they were a match made in heaven. Since grade school they’d been inseparable and due to not one, but two broken hearts, they had never stopped the trend the way most friends did when they grew up. A best buddy was supposed to be replaced by someone who was his everything, someone to share his secrets
and
his bed, the someone he was supposed to grow old with.

The way things were going, Holly was going to be that person for Alex, and he couldn’t help but feel he was a little too young to consider forgoing sex for the rest of his life for the sake of companionship.

“Hey, boss. I thought HF was home fries.”

Alex blinked out of his melancholy and turned to look at the new cook Jamie. He was young and good-looking in a blond, pretty-boy-type way with a slim, angular body most tops like Alex loved. For just a second Alex tried to imagine himself with this handsome, enthusiastic new cook, burying his face in his silky blond hair and for once not craving thick black hair that smelled of expensive shampoo and sunshine. Just as quickly as he formed the thought it vaporized, leaving him feeling nothing but annoyance. It was pointless. He might as well be imagining himself with Holly.

He had to tell Holly to stop hiring gay cooks—even if the intention was good, the outcome was always uncomfortable and eventually disastrous.

Alex turned back to the flattop and plated two eggs. “HF
is
home fries.”