Starless Nights (Hale Brothers Series Book 2) (23 page)

“No problem,” he says.

“Well, that was very generous of you.” I turn to see Charlie standing next to me.

“I’m proud of her. I want her to have a good time.” Looking back, I find her sitting up front in the bay window.

“So, I’m glad that you decided to come today,” Charlie says, while eyeing me.

“I guess I didn’t realize that you would care one way or another.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He looks away from me and across the room over to Leila. I can tell he is contemplating what to say next. “I’m the one who sent you the ticket.”

What?
That doesn’t make any sense to me.

“The ticket was from you? I thought that Leila had sent it over.”

“Nope, you were a very welcome surprise to her today.”

My eyebrows furrow down. “I don’t understand the two of you.”

“What do you mean?” He smirks at me. He knows why I am asking this question.

“I thought that the two of you were dating?” He throws his head back and he laughs.

“Beau, you need to know that Leila, as beautiful as she is, she just doesn’t do it for me. She’s not my type. You on the other hand, I would not say no to.” He looks me over from head to toe and I take a step back.

“You’re gay.” I say this as a statement, but it could be a question too.

“Yep, have been for as long as I can remember.” He props an elbow against the bar and leans into it.

“I had just assumed . . .,” I run my hand through my hair and take a sip of my beer.

“I know you did and that’s the biggest problem right there. The two of you don’t communicate and talk at all, you just assume.” I don’t appreciate his tone or the way he is speaking to me. He pauses and looks at me hesitantly as if he’s not sure what or how much he wants to say. “I met Leila at an orientation party before the first day of classes last year. I am also at Parson’s but for interior design. I adore her and she instantly became one of my best friends. She is also my roommate.”

Roommate.

Shaking my head, a small laugh escapes. “Well, I guess that clears up some of the questions I had been wondering about.”

He tilts his head to the side and studies me. “Funny, none of the questions that I have about you have been answered.”

“Why would you have questions about me?”

“Are you serious?”

I raise my eyebrows to him in annoyance.

“Leila is the most amazing girl I have ever met. She’s beautiful both inside and out. She’s bright, smart, funny, and so kind. At least once a day I wish that I was into girls. Because if I was, I would make her mine and never let her go.”

“You don’t need to tell me these things about her, I already know them. I’ve known her most of my life.”

He stands to his full height and looks me right in the eyes. “If you know, then what are you doing?”

I can’t say anything back to him. He will never know how many times I have asked myself that same question. Reality is though, what happened between her and I is our business and not his. I understand that he is looking out for his friend, but all of this is so much bigger than his questions and misunderstandings.

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” I didn’t even notice Leila approach. She’s standing next to us and I realize that Charlie and I must look like we are in a face off.

Charlie breaks the eye contact and looks down at her. “Nothing, I’m just having a nice little chat with our friend Beau here.” He smiles at her and I can’t help but let out a sharp chuckle. Both of them glance over at me. “Listen love, I’m going to go find Jacob.” He claps me on the shoulder, kisses her forehead, and walks off.

Leila moves into his spot and looks up at me. My heart flutters and I realize I’m nervous. She’s not dating anyone. She’s free. What I really need to decide now is if I’m going to do anything about this or not.

“Why didn’t you tell me that Charlie was gay and your roommate?” I ask her.

Confusion and then understanding registers on her face. A small smile graces one side of her mouth.

“First off, it’s kind of obvious that he’s gay, so I didn’t think that I needed to, and second it’s never come up. Why?”

Suddenly, I feel kind of stupid. Thinking back to the few interactions that we’ve had, he hasn’t given me any reason to think that he wasn’t into her. He always has his hands on her and he always kisses her on the forehead, so why should it have been obvious?

“I thought you two were dating.” She giggles and then stops when she sees that I don’t think this is funny.

“Ah . . . all this time were you jealous?”

I want to scoff at her and tell her no, but that would be a lie. Instead, I say nothing. An emotion flashes across her face and it shifts from amusement to pain. She looks slightly haunted and I don’t understand what she is remembering or seeing.

“You know Beau, for years I watched you parade other girls in front of me. You always made it very clear what you thought of me, and that you weren’t interested by screwing your way across the island. You don’t get to be angry or jealous, especially with someone who is just my friend, and a good one at that.”

Part of what she says is true. I did parade other girls around in front of her. However, I’ve always been interested in her, but what do you do when the girl that owns your heart, breaks it, won’t talk to you, and you can’t trust her? Nothing, that’s what. I wanted her to know that even though she didn’t want me, others did. Why she thinks that I ‘screwed my way across the island’ though, I don’t understand. I wasn’t that guy and there isn’t one girl out there who could say I was. I might have been jealous over Charlie, but now, after that statement I’m just hurt.

Looking her over from head to toe, I remember why we are here tonight, and it’s time for me to go. I don’t want her to look back on this evening and remember us arguing, I want her to remember her successes. After all, she deserves them. She was spectacular tonight.

My eyes leave her and land on the front door. “You don’t know anything. But then again, I’m not surprised; you’ve never cared enough to know the truth. Congratulations on your show tonight, Leila. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.” I just can’t take any more. I turn to walk away from her but she grabs my arm.

“Then why don’t you tell me what I don’t know because you seem to have forgotten Beau . . . I was there! You were never alone.” This place has become more crowded. Someone bumps into the back of her, pushing her forward and into me. Reflexes have me wrapping my arms around her. She doesn’t move away from me.

“Lei . . .” How much do I tell her? How much does she deserve to know? I can’t look her in the eyes as I say this. I lean down and put my mouth next to her ear. “You may have seen me with other people, but the only person that I have
ever
been with is you. You were my first . . . and to date, my only.” She tenses and we become engulfed in the silence between us.

“I don’t understand. How?” she whispers out. Her breath is warm as it brushes across my cheek.

“How what?” I lean back a little to see her face.

“How was I your first? And I don’t understand, why I am your only?”

“Because Leila. I may have messed around with girls but doesn’t mean that I slept with them. You were my first because that moment was always meant to be with you too. You weren’t the only one who felt that way. And as for you being my only, I have my reasons.”

“What reasons?” Somewhere in the midst of this conversation she and I have moved closer. I am instantly aware of how near she is to me and how good it feels to have her in my arms after all this time. She is wearing really tall shoes tonight, that make her only a few inches shorter than me and the lavender scent that is coming off of her hair and skin is almost enough to send me over the edge. I love the smell of her.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight.” My hand on her lower back pulls her in tighter to me and my other hand wraps around the side of her face and into her hair. My eyes drop to her mouth and she licks her bottom lip.

This moment is almost deja vu. My thumb follows her tongue and rubs across her bottom lip.

Slowly, I tilt her head and lean down. Our breaths are now shared, and as my eyes slip shut I feel the pressure of her fingertips on my back. I didn’t even notice that her hands and arms had slipped underneath my suit jacket coat and panic washes over me.

I jerk away from her causing her hands to drop to my hips. She sees the panic on my face and I see the confusion on hers.

“What’s wrong?” she asks me. One of her hands moves to my arm and I continue to stare at her. No one touches my back. Ever! What if she felt the scars? They aren’t flat and smooth. If she was to run her hand down my back, she would feel them. They are very noticeable. She knows they are there, hell everyone does, but she’s never asked me about them and we aren’t going to start talking about them now.

“Nothing.” I give her a small smile and she knows me well enough to know that I am lying. Leaning back toward her, I kiss her on the cheek and then step away. “Listen, I’ve got an early practice tomorrow, so I’m going to take off. I’m really proud of you. What you did tonight was amazing. I really do love watching this person that you are becoming.”

“Thanks Beau. That means a lot to me.” I can see her eyes glisten from the light of the chandeliers. This girl will never know what she does to me. I take another step back from her and then turn away.

Pushing my way through crowd, I spot Charlie. He sees me and lifts his eyebrows. I shrug my shoulders, shake my head, and walk out the front door.

Standing on the sidewalk I take a deep breath and run my hand through my hair. The temperature has dropped a little and the cool air calms my nerves. I can’t believe that I almost kissed her. Night after night, I lie in bed and think about the few times that I have kissed her and what it would be like to kiss her again, taste her again, and hold her again. I rub my hand over the sharp pain in my chest.

“Hey, Beau?”

I turn around and see Leila standing right behind me. My eyes lock onto hers.

“Yeah?”

She’s fidgeting with her fingers and this reminds me of the first day that I met her when we were eight. She’s nervous and trying so hard not to show it. She lets out a deep sigh like she’s holding her breath and looks at the ground. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

I’m so busy watching her that I almost don’t hear her question. “Yes.” Her eyes shoot back up to mine and she smiles. “If you are free for dinner tomorrow, you can come over and I’ll cook.”

Her eyes grow wide. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“I’d love to come over for dinner,” she says quietly. A slow smile stretches across her beautiful face and this time, I can’t help it. I lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow . . .”

I WATCH AS Beau turns and walks away. The city is busy tonight and as people pass and bump into me on the sidewalk, I don’t even care. My eyes are locked onto the back of him.

He wants to see me. He said yes. On the inside I’m bursting with happiness and I’m certain that the smile on my face has never been bigger.

I feel someone walk up next to me and I immediately know that it is Charlie.

“Well, someone looks like they’ve found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

I bust out laughing at his crazy statement and turn to look at him.

“You are glowing and I know for certain that nothing kinky went down here on the sidewalk.”

“No, but he did invite me over for dinner tomorrow.” I grin at him.

“Well well, maybe this is a pre-glow.” He circles my face with his finger. I slap his arm, he chuckles, and then wraps it around my shoulders. “Just kidding, beautiful. I hope this works out for you two. It seems it has been a long time coming.”

“We’ll see. For years he has kept this impenetrable wall up when it comes to me . . . I just don’t know.”

“Well, I do know. It’s there, but you have got to talk to him. At some point, the two of you are going to need to clear the air.”

“I know.” And I do. Charlie’s right. Tonight I learned that, all this time, Beau has been going around thinking that Charlie and I were together. As ridiculous as that idea is to me, it makes me wonder, how many other miscommunications and misunderstandings are hanging between us?