Starting Over (19 page)

‘I would like to come with you. I really would. I liked listening to Sensei in Greece and I did say I already had plans this evening.'

‘I know. So why didn't you say no to Ruby?'

‘Hard to get a word in sometimes.'

Erin nodded. ‘I heard.'

‘And ... oh God, this is awkward, but . . . well you're going to be gone soon, and Ruby and Nicole, well, they're my new mates - it's early days still and I ... well, I want them to like me.'

Erin nodded. ‘Sure. Sure,' she said. ‘You'd better go, although
I can't imagine who wouldn't ever like you. But you go, sounds to me like you've been summoned.'

I quickly called Ruby back and said that I'd be there later. After I'd put the phone down, I made an effort to laugh. ‘I suppose Ruby is a bit of a teen queen. But she's OK, a what-you-see-is-what-get-type of person.'

Erin linked my arm and looked right into my eyes. ‘I just want you to be happy, India Jane. Are you?'

‘Yeah. Yeah, I am,' I said, but for some reason, all of a sudden, I felt like crying.

An hour later, Mum, Dad, Dylan and Erin set off for Sensei's meeting. Just before they left, I apologised to Erin.

‘I feel weird about this,' I said.

She gave me a hug. ‘No need. I understand. Ruby and the other girl are your new mates. Why should they want to meet me? And you have to work at friendships. You're right.'

‘
We
don't have to work very hard,' I said.

Erin made her face go straight. ‘I do,' she said wearily, then cracked up. ‘Ah but we don't have to work at it because I am Queen Fab Friend. You know that.'

I laughed. ‘Queen Fab Friend and modest too.'

‘So
modest,' said Erin as Dad hurried her and Dylan out of the door. ‘Have a great evening.'

When the door had closed and I was alone in the hall, I picked up the phone to call Ruby and let her know that I was on my way over.

Her mum picked up the phone. ‘Ruby? She's not here, dear. She went out over an hour ago.'

‘Oh! Is she coming back soon? She called earlier to ask me over.'

‘Did
she? Are you sure? She never said anything to me about anyone coming over and I'm certain that she won't be back this evening. She's gone to stay with her friend Nicole. Maybe you got the wrong night?'

I knew I hadn't got the wrong night. Ruby had got a better offer and not bothered to let me know. ‘Yes. Of course. The wrong date. Sorry.'

‘That's all right. Who shall I say called?'

‘No one,' I said. ‘It doesn't matter. I'll see her at school.'

I put the phone down. I had Ruby's mobile now and could have phoned her but there didn't seem to be any point. My eyes filled up with the tears that had been threatening all afternoon. How was I going to explain this to Erin and the rest of them when they arrived back, full of shining light and bliss?

‘Oh hi, India, it's Leela.'

‘Oh hi,' I replied in what I hoped was a bright voice so that she wouldn't realise that I had spent the last half hour blubbing for Britain. After the call to Ruby's house, it was like a dam had broken inside of me and I couldn't stop.

‘Listen, I'm phoning for a humungous favour.'

‘OK.'

‘Well, you know we're having this party tomorrow night?'

‘Yeah?'

‘Mum's worried that the kittens'll get freaked out . . . Hey, you OK? You sound like you've got a cold?'

‘Yeah. No. Um, hayfever,' I said as I blew my nose.

‘In October?'

‘I'm allergic to . . . um, autumn . . . er, leaves.'

Leela laughed at the other end of the phone. ‘Leaves? Okaaaaay. So, thing is, Mum wanted to know if you would mind looking after the kittens for a day or so, while our house is full of people. Could you do that?'

I hesitated for only a second. ‘Absolutely. Hundred per cent. Love to.'

‘Cool. Mum said she thought you would because she could see that you were an animal lover.'

‘But I can't get them tonight because everyone's out and —'

‘Where?'

‘Meditation meeting.'

‘Why didn't you go?'

‘I was going to. I know the teacher from Greece.'

‘Oh Sensei. Yeah. My sister's into him.'

‘Anisha. Yeah I know.'

‘So why didn't you go with them?'

‘I ... oh long story, complicated.'

‘You sure you're OK, India?You sound sort of... bunged up.'

‘Yeah. I'm fine. Really.'

‘If you say so. OK. I'll get my brother, Rajiv, to drop me round. There's just the two of them. We'll bring everything they need.'

‘I thought there were three.'

‘One of the girls has gone. Someone Mum works with at the pharmacy took her. So it's just two. Is that OK?'

‘Deffo,' I said.

‘See you in half an hour.'

I ran to the bathroom, splashed my face with cold water and
put some make-up on. I even thought of wearing sunglasses because my eyes were so puffy, but decided that might look a bit weird seeing as it was dark outside. True to her word, thirty minutes later Leela arrived. She seemed in a hurry and thrust a cat litter tray at me and a bag of food and litter.

‘Can't stay, million things to do but . . .' She scrutinised my eyes. ‘You OK?'

‘Yeah. It's some kind of weird allergy. Makes my eyes puffy.'

‘Okaaaay,' she said, but she looked doubtful. Outside a car honked. ‘That's Rajiv. Everything's mad at home getting ready for the do and Mum's gone into sergeant-major mode and given us all a list of things to do. So. The kittens are in this basket. They've been fed. They know how to use the litter tray and . . . Erin here?'

‘No. Still out with Dad and everyone.'

The car outside honked again. ‘OK. Laters. Any probs, call me, yeah?' she turned to go. ‘Hey, you are coming tomorrow, aren't you?'

I nodded. ‘If that's OK?'

‘Course it is. Why wouldn't it be? Be nice to hang out and there's a few people coming from school. Oh and Anisha will be back. You said you knew her, yeah?'

‘Yeah.'

And then she was gone. I got a feeling that she knew that I was upset. I remembered something that Erin had said once about how real friends listened not only to what you say, but also what you didn't say. Leela struck me as the kind of girl who
could do that and, once again, I wished that she was my friend.

I put the basket down, knelt beside it and opened the lid. Two worried faces peeped out and looked around. Both of them seemed hesitant to get out, so I stroked their heads. I so knew how they were feeling. Starting over in a strange place. They must have been wondering what the heck was happening to them. ‘Oh sweeties, it's going to be OK,' I said. ‘I know this is all new but I'm going to look after you and we're all going to be the best of friends, for a very,
very
long time.'

Now all I have to do is convince Aunt Sarah the same,
I thought as the boy kitten clambered out and came to sit on my knee.

‘Yin and Yang,' said Dad.

‘Mars and Venus,' said Dylan.

‘India should name them,' said Erin. ‘She's the one who saw the notice.'

The kittens were an instant hit. As soon as everyone got back from the meditation meeting, they were the centre of attention and passed from one knee to the other. The girl didn't seem to mind and was soon purring away, but the boy kitten went and hid under the sofa at first at the first opportunity.

‘They know when they're in a safe place,' said Mum. ‘He'll come out in his own time, especially when he realises that we have the cat food.'

‘Do you think we'll be able to keep them?' I asked.

‘Absolutely,' said Mum. ‘And if Sarah objects, we'll hide them in the cellar for a day or so and think of some way we can
blackmail her. I must have some dirt on her from when we were young. Call Mrs Ranjani and tell her that we'd like to keep them.'

I laughed at the glimpse of how Mum must have been when she was a young disobedient girl. When everyone was distracted with the cats, I nipped out into the hall, got the portable phone and took it into the kitchen where I had some privacy. I dialled Ruby's mobile. She picked up almost immediately.

‘Hi Ruby, it's India Jane,' I blurted before I chickened out.

There was a moment's hesitation. ‘Oh, hi, India.'

‘Hi. Remember when you called this afternoon you asked me over and I said I'd come?'

‘Um, er . . . yeah but —'

‘I'd just like to remind you that I cancelled my plans with my friends and family, and by the time I found out that you'd gone out and not bothered to let me know, it was too late for me to go to the meeting with the others like I wanted to.'

Again there was silence for a few moments. ‘Er yeah, um, something came up.'

‘I realise that,' I said. ‘I don't need to know what, or hear excuses, I just think that you could have had the decency to let me know. A call would have taken less than a minute. My evening was ruined because you didn't bother —'

‘No need to get upset about it,' said Ruby.

‘You know what? I'm not upset. Not any more. I was. But it made me realise something about friendship. It's about respect as well as other things. Respect that other people's time and
their feelings are valuable as yours.'

And then I hung up. I was shaking slightly as I hate confrontation, but I felt good for having said what I'd said and I realised that as much as friends needed to respect each other, I needed to respect myself and not let anyone treat me like a convenience until a better offer came along.

I went back to join the others, and at bedtime took the kittens up to my room as I didn't want to leave them on their own in the dark in a strange house on their first night. Even though the boy was still nervous and went under the bed as soon as I put him down on the floor, later when everything went quiet, he crawled out to look for his sister. I went to sleep that night with them both curled up on the end of my bed, both with their paws around each other.

‘Totally adorable,' I said.

‘And so is Leela's brother,' said Erin. ‘I can't wait to meet him in the flesh tomorrow night.'

As I drifted off to sleep, at last I felt that my list of what I wanted in a friend was becoming clear:

Someone who's around at the weekends and in the hols.

Someone I can be totally myself with and who can be herself with me.

Someone to laugh
and
cry with - there on good
and
bad days.

Someone I can trust with my secrets.

Someone who will be honest with me (even if it hurts).

Someone who is glad when good things happen to me - who isn't in competition or jealous when something nice happens to me.

Someone who puts friends first before boys. An equal relationship with a balance of talking and listening. Someone who doesn't only call when in need or to dump their stuff on me.

Someone who doesn't try to control me.

ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The evening of the party came round so fast, and as I got ready, I had mixed feelings - looking forward to it as I liked parties and I'd be with Erin, but also sad because it was our last night together. Erin had been out with Dad in the afternoon to see Sensei again and had learned to do the same meditation as I had. She had come back eager to give it a go, and made me laugh because I went to have a bath while she meditated and when I came back, she was slumped on the floor, fast asleep.

‘Some things haven't changed since Ireland,' I said. We'd tried to meditate from a book once years ago and she'd fallen asleep then.

‘Early days,' she said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. ‘And you found it hard in the beginning.'