I pushed up on my side, too, since basking was clearly over. “Something legit,” I repeated. “I already have that. So do you.”
“Our parents have that,” he corrected. “My dad, your dad—they started something, they didn’t just take over from someone else.”
“Okay—”
“I want that,” he said, his voice low, his expression fierce. “I want it with you. I want everything with you.”
I felt tears burn the backs of my eyes, such an unfamiliar sensation at such unfamiliar words. And wherever it was coming from was finding its match in me. What the hell? My heart felt a ping of something I normally pushed aside, but I had to be practical.
“That takes time and money, Ian,” I said. “Two things we don’t have an abundance of.”
“I have something in the works.”
Ah. “Of course you do,” I said on a smile. “So much for legit. I thought we were backing off all that.”
“No, I’m serious. I’m saying that with this we can start something real,” he said, reaching for my face, holding me with his eyes. “Something we build and make for us. You, me, and Abby,” he said. “I’m saying trust me. It’s always been us, Savi. We—” He stopped, his voice thick, his gaze piercing me.
“We what?” I whispered, hearing the quiver and hating it. Hating that I was holding my breath, waiting for him to say something I never thought I even wanted to hear. Suddenly I did. More than anything in the world, I wanted to hear it.
His eyes searched mine, his jaw set tight, like he was about to sell his soul. I knew the feeling.
“We could have something. Be a family,” he said, the words so slow and soft it was as if he was trying them out on his tongue. “Have what we used to imagine in that old stone house.” I felt the hot tears leave my eyes and track down my cheeks, and Ian wiped them away with a finger. “If you—” His eyes burned into mine, saying it.
Saying it.
“Ask me to stay.”
“Stay,” I breathed before I could give it another thought.
He let out a breath and closed his eyes, waiting what felt like an eternity to open them. When he did, they were vulnerable. Something he rarely showed.
“I love you.”
My chest squeezed all the air from my lungs and pushed more tears up and out of my eyes instead. Holy fuck-shit.
“I love you, too.”
I shut my eyes tight against the memory. I wasn’t the one to kill all of that, he was. And while I was a big girl, he hadn’t just done it to me. Abby was ten, then, and had cried and missed her
Uncle Ian
for what seemed like a fucking lifetime after he left what he wanted to call our
family,
until one day she just stopped asking. I don’t know which broke my heart more.
I tried to be the mature, logical, independent role model, but the truth was she probably had me beat. What would Abby say if she could see me wigging out over him like this?
Ian was the past, and the one I learned from. That was it. Duncan was funny and sweet and sexy and smoking hot, and I was being given the opportunity to know him a little better.
On that note, I revisited the black jeans with the black lacy jacket and the red tank top. With flats. It looked business-ish but feminine, and the black made my boring blonde look more exciting. Good grief, being girly was exhausting.
At least I had a plan. I took a last look in the mirror. My hair was pretty good—or as good as my hair got. Straight at the top with wavy ends. It was going to do that, independent of anything I tried to do, so I let it be. Just enough makeup to enhance without being distracting.
“It’s not about Ian,” I whispered to my reflection, shaking my head slowly.
My phone sang from the dresser with piano chords, my daughter’s ringtone, and I answered with a nonchalant, “Hello?”
“Are you nervous?” came Abby’s voice.
I frowned. “About?”
“Your coffee date.”
I let out a breath. “How did you know about that?”
“Aunt Lily texted me,” she said in a sleepy voice.
Oh, my family. I grimaced. “Of course she did, and no, it’s no big deal.”
“It’s that veterinarian, isn’t it?” she asked, her voice going all cutesy.
She
could do cutesy. She managed to turn out normal, thank God. “That is a big deal.”
“Don’t make me come hurt you,” I said, a chuckle working its way in. “It’s just breakfast, it’s at the butcher shop, it’s not anything fancy.”
“Do I need to come dress you?” she asked.
“I’ve got it under control,” I said. “Why are you even awake?”
Abby lived in Katyville, where she worked afternoons at a temp agency and nights at a seafood restaurant. She normally got in at two in the morning and slept till ten. That was the hard way she’d chosen instead of going to college like I’d saved for her to do. At twenty-one, however, she was making her own way and her own choices. I’d basically done the same thing, so I couldn’t really talk, but I’d hoped she would make easier choices. On the upside, she was much more together and mature than I was at her age, and she wasn’t dating a biker or musician or getting pregnant. I had to be optimistic.
“I kind of haven’t been to bed yet,” Abby said on a yawn.
And my optimism faded.
“Oh, Abby,” I said.
“Nope, we’re focusing on you this morning,” she said. “What are you wearing?”
I sighed. “Black and red.”
“That’s good,” she said. “Goes good with your hair. Down or up?”
“Down.”
“Send me a picture.”
I scoffed. “Seriously? I don’t do selfies, my girl, just use your imagination. And go to bed,” I said. “Do you work tonight?”
“I work this afternoon, but I’m off tonight, so I’ll go to bed early, Mom,” she said. “It’s all good.” To be young and not in need of rest. I could just picture her, sprawled on her couch with pajama pants and a blanket, blonde hair pulled up on top of her head, chugging a Diet Dr. Pepper to ease a hangover. I remembered those days, sort of, in a foggy haze kind of way. “Text me when you’re at work, I want to know how it went.”
I rubbed my forehead. “You know, I
do
go on dates,” I said. “I’m not locked away in the Disney vault. This isn’t wild and crazy news.”
“Kind of is,” she said on a laugh. “Love you, bye.”
I blew out a breath as I pocketed my phone. “Kind of is.” I hadn’t mentioned Ian. She didn’t need to know he was coming back. Not that she probably even remembered how much she used to love him, but still. Why dredge all that back up.
Why dredge, indeed.
Chapter Four
Duncan was waiting when I pulled up in front of our barn and parked. He was hard to miss over there, standing behind a dark green Jeep, leaning against the back of it with his arms crossed over his chest. Good God, he looked good enough to eat.
I had hoped to beat him so I’d have a few minutes to get the hyperventilating out of the way, but that wasn’t going to happen. So he was an early arriver—good to know. In case there were more arrivals in our future.
As I got out, I allowed myself a quick scan. No motorcycles, although it was silly to assume that Ian would still be riding one. That was eleven years ago, and he was a diver. Hard to tote tanks and gear around with a bike. More likely, he’d have an SUV of some sort. And hopefully it would run me over in the middle of the street before I continued to think any more on it. Jesus, I had a drool-worthy man smiling at me just yards away. I had to get a grip.
“Hey, you,” I said as Duncan’s smile widened.
“Morning,” he said. “You look nice. Already talked to your dad a few minutes ago.”
I tried not to stumble. Glorious. Dad already checking out who I was having breakfast with. He knew Duncan from some Chamber of Commerce thing they were both part of. He was the one who’d originally told me we had a new doctor at the vet clinic. Said he was nice. Had good teeth. A strong handshake.
“Oh?” I smiled. “Good. Maybe I’ll bring him back a sausage or something.”
We approached the door of McMasters Meats and I took a deep breath, completely appreciating the undertones of a very subtle aftershave on Duncan. It soothed me, made me feel like he’d shield me from whatever unpleasantness might be on the other side of that door. I glanced up at him, loving his height, his intense eyes looking down at me, making my stomach muscles contract.
Soak it in, Savi. This is the good kind of guy.
My mouth watered instantly as we walked in and all kinds of amazing meat aromas surrounded us. This was my favorite time of the morning. Arriving there and relishing the yum of sizzling meat and eggs, fresh coffee brewing. It was the best start to every day, and I actually missed it on Sundays when we were all closed. I had to make coffee at home, and my microwaved bacon just wasn’t the same.
“Oh, wow, it smells incredible in here,” Duncan said.
“Doesn’t it?” I said.
I saw Lily heading our way, when—
“Savanna!” said a voice to my left. I turned to see Mrs. Sullivan. Was she spying, too? Her smile took up her whole face as she walked up and took both my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lily divert and go another direction. Wuss.
“Hi, Mrs. Sullivan,” I said, giving her my best smile. “How are you?”
“I’m just wonderful, sweetheart,” she said, squeezing my hands. “Coming to get some of your sister’s good food.”
That would actually be Jim’s good food, as Lily’s job was to keep the books and do the ordering. Her involvement with the food up front began after it was carved, trimmed, or cooked, and consisted of handing it over and taking the money. But hey, who was I to steal Mrs. Sullivan’s Lily-love. And she did make the coffee. Which was pretty darned amazing.
“Us, too,” I said. “Have you met Dr. Duncan Spoon?” I asked. “He’s a veterinarian at the clinic?”
“Oh, yes,” she said, blushing madly. Oh, my. “Dr. Spoon takes very good care of my little Sophie.” She leaned over conspiratorially. “Not like that Dr. Weatherly,” she whispered loudly. “She’s not very nice.”
Duncan chuckled and put a hand on her shoulder. “Dr. Weatherly is an excellent surgeon, Mrs. Sullivan. Brilliant at what she does, but thank you.” He looked so friggin’ charming, I saw Mrs. Sullivan practically dissolve on the spot. “How is Sophie doing with her new heartworm chews?”
“Perfect,” she said. A couple finished their order and stepped out of line and she scooted that direction. “Oh, I’d better grab a spot, see you soon!” She made a shrugging motion like she was hugging herself and moved that way.
“Lord,” I muttered. I couldn’t see my dad hanging with that much wholesomeness. It was too much sweet.
“She’s right about Dr. Weatherly, though,” Duncan said under his breath. “Poor lady has the comfort zone of sliding across gravel. Even the animals get nervous around her.”
“Well, no one gets nervous around you,” I said, immediately wishing for a giant turkey baster to suck the words away. “I mean, not like that. You’re—everything a dog could want. In a doctor,” I added. Heat rushed to my face as an amused expression painted his. “Please shut me up now.”
Duncan laughed, deep and throaty. “No way. I love it when you go off on these rambles.”
I smiled weakly and looked away. “Oh, good,” I managed.
Still chuckling, he rested his hands on my shoulders as he leaned over just above my ear.
“Relax,” he whispered against my hair.
Holy shit.
The sensation nearly made my knees buckle, but I managed a chuckle as Lily circled back around and held out a hand for Duncan.
“Hi, I’m Lily.”
“Chickenshit,” I said under my breath.
“I’ve already talked to her once,” she said, trying not to move her lips through her smile.
Duncan laughed. “Duncan Spoon. Good to meet you.”
“Just wanted to say hello,” Lily said, darting a glance at me, which sent stabs of anxiety to my belly. Oh, yeah. There for about two seconds, I’d forgotten.
Where was he?
“It’s been a crazy morning, the ice machine broke, and Leonard is out with a broken ankle.” Leonard was their temporary help and the one usually handling the morning rush.
“Go do what you gotta do,” I said, looking around the room, down the hall behind the counter, and even attempting to peek at the kitchen from where I stood.
“Well, breakfast today is on the house,” Lily said, squeezing my arm.
“You don’t have to do that,” Duncan said, holding up a hand.
“I insist,” she said. “A friend of Savi’s is like family, too. Family eats for free.”
That was new. I did sometimes eat for free, but I didn’t know that was the rule, and there were times I paid, anyway. There was something else. Some reason she was comping our meal. Our date. Crap.