Steadfast Heart (26 page)

Read Steadfast Heart Online

Authors: Tracie Peterson

Tags: #FIC042030, #FIC042040, #FIC014000, #First loves—Fiction, #Man-woman relationships—Fiction, #Seattle (Wash.)—Social life and customs—19th century—Fiction

On Sunday Wade joined the ladies for the noon meal, as he usually did. Today the fare was a delicious halibut with all manner of vegetables to accompany it. All in all, it was a very satisfying meal. Wade had been particularly surprised when Mrs. Madison announced that Abrianna had been responsible for making the dinner rolls. It would seem the hoyden was being tamed. He couldn't help but grin.

“What are you so happy about?” Abrianna asked. Several of the young ladies had already departed the table for an afternoon of leisure. On Sundays the rules were rather relaxed, and while some were off to tend to other things, there were often a half dozen or so who would linger over dessert. Today it was Mrs. Gibson's famous blackberry cobbler and homemade ice cream.

Wade shrugged. “I guess a good meal always puts me in a
mood of contentment. What about you? You seem awfully quiet today. Are you ill?”

“Abrianna is mourning her friend's upcoming marriage,” Mrs. Madison declared. “Although I've assured her that Lenore will still find time for their friendship.”

“Of course she will. Why would you think otherwise?” Wade asked.

Abrianna shifted in her seat and looked quite uncomfortable. “It cannot help but change everything. I'm encouraged to know they have chosen a house very close to the school's new location, but I fear there will be a substantial lessening of our time together. Kolbein will be her husband and require her full attention, and as Aunt Selma has said in the past, some husbands require a great deal of tending.” She looked to her aunt with a nod.

Wade laughed out loud, receiving Mrs. Madison's frown and a startled look from Mrs. Gibson and Miss Poisie. It was Mrs. Madison who spoke, however. “As a former wife, I can vouch for this, Wade Ackerman. Men can be quite helpless at times.”

“I've no doubt, but women can be just as much in need of . . . tending at times. However, my laugh was not to show disrespect. I am only amused at Abrianna's melodramatic mannerisms. One would think Kolbein intended to chain Lenore to the house. You do realize, don't you, Abrianna, that Kolbein will also be working a job—something, as I understand, he wouldn't necessarily have to do. You'll have all day to visit, if you'd like.”

“It's true that Kolbein will work,” Abrianna replied, “but Lenore will still need to manage her household and servants. She may have very little time to join me on my crusades or even to visit over tea.”

“I seriously doubt Lenore will be interested in your crusades
in the same way you are.” Wade smiled sympathetically. “Few women could manage what you do.”

“Speaking of which,” Abrianna said, getting to her feet abruptly, “I wonder if you would accompany me to see a couple of my friends. Last we met, Barnabus had taken a summer cold, and old Mrs. Mannheim was suffering terribly from her rheumatism. I promised that I would help her clean her cupboards.”

“On the Lord's day?” Aunt Selma asked in shock.

“Jesus cleansed the sick with healing on the Sabbath, and what with the restrictions you place upon me for my safety, I can hardly see to the task during the week. Sunday is one of the only days Wade has free to accompany me. Now, if you were to let me journey out on my own as I used to do—”

“No!” Wade declared in a firm tone. “I will go with you today and help you accomplish whatever is to be done.” He got to his feet. “Thank you for a wonderful meal, ladies. I very much enjoyed your company and the food.”

“Since you will be coming back with Abrianna when she returns home,” Mrs. Madison said matter-of-factly, “I will have some food for you to take to your place then.”

“Thank you. I'll never grow lean so long as I have your friendship.”

“It'll be different once we move,” Abrianna told him as they made their way from the dining room into the kitchen. She gathered several different things and put them in her basket. “You'll have a much longer walk.”

“It's not that much farther for me. It's just a straight walk up the harbor, no more than a mile or so. Instead of walking into the heart of the city, I will simply take a different route. I'll manage it just fine.”

Abrianna led the way from the kitchen and down the back stairs. “Still, it will be different. I will miss things the way they are.”

“What do you mean?” Wade asked. She seemed much more serious than she'd been at dinner.

“I will miss this place and the ease with which I could slip down to your shop. I will miss the bustle of the city. We shall be on several acres and no doubt sheltered from the noise.” She shrugged. “I'll miss it. I'll miss the vendors calling out their wares and the boys with the newspapers clamoring for business. I'll even miss the folks coming and going at all hours of the night.”

“I can't imagine that being a loss in your life.” He heard her heave a sigh and knew there was more. Something was troubling her. “What's this really about, Abrianna? You haven't been this miserable since you had to start pinning your hair up and wearing longer skirts.” He grinned. “So tell me the truth. What has you so perplexed?”

She allowed him to lead her across the street before she attempted to answer. When she spoke it was in a hesitant manner that was most unlike the young woman.

“I know . . . that everything in life . . . changes. I suppose that Lenore and Kolbein's upcoming wedding has me realizing it more than ever before.” Her brows knit and her face took on a worried expression. “I don't really understand what is wrong with me, but I feel . . . well . . . an empty place inside.” She touched her hand to her heart. “I suppose that sounds strange, but it is a deep aching.”

Wade shook his head. “It isn't all that strange. God made us to enjoy the company of other folks. Sounds to me like you're mourning a loss that hasn't happened. Lenore is just getting married. She hasn't died.”

“But it's a sort of death to our friendship, don't you think? I suppose I just don't like change. Perhaps that is my greatest flaw.”

He chuckled. “Abrianna, not liking change isn't your great flaw.” He winked at the surprised look on her face. “In fact, I don't think you have any great flaws, unless it's taking too many chances. You are one of the most unflawed people I know. You have a heart bigger than the Pacific, and you genuinely care about what happens to the folks around you.”

“But I suppose . . . oh, please don't say anything to my aunts, but I feel alone.”

She looked to him with such a sorrowful expression that Wade couldn't help but stop walking. “You'll never be alone so long as I'm alive. Haven't we always had each other? Helped each other?”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “That won't change, Abrianna.”

“It will one day . . . when you take a wife,” she said sadly.

24

J
une had arrived in flourishes of flowers and greenery. The residential areas of Seattle seemed to explode in colorful gardens and beautiful lawns. The ballroom at the Madison Building was no different. Now complete in its tropical sea theme, Abrianna thought it perhaps the most beautiful ball they'd ever held.

For the sake of her aunts she had agreed to attend the ball itself rather than remain behind the scenes as a server. The young ladies who were deemed ready for marriage by the aunts were allowed to attend the dance and make permanent the relationships they'd formed with their suitors. However, those who were new to the school or less inclined to learn were assigned duties behind the refreshment tables and elsewhere.

Frankly, Abrianna had always preferred this station. Serving food to others and making light conversation about the party and weather suited her far better than trying to entertain love-sick young men. She'd been proposed to by no fewer than three complete strangers already and the evening had just started.

“You look amazing tonight,” Thane told her. “You look good in that color.”

He and Wade had been invited by the aunts to provide additional men for dancing. It wouldn't have been necessary, however.
The room was full of eager men who had paid to attend the yearly soirée. Many of them had regularly attended the bake sales and monthly receptions. But others in the collection were those who came annually. Abrianna thought they weren't half so interested in matrimony as they were in having a great evening of entertainment and the company of young women.

“Thank you,” Abrianna said, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “Aunt Miriam chose it from the gowns Lenore had given me a while back. She's partial to lavender, so I suppose that is why this dress caught her attention.”

“Well, it makes you look . . . well . . . real nice.”

Abrianna knew better than to argue with Thane's assessment. Partly because she knew it wouldn't do any good, and partly because she actually felt rather pretty. Lenore's gown fit her like a glove after Aunt Selma had given it a slight alteration. Abrianna had been required to tighten her corset more than usual and was just as amazed as her aunts were at the tiny waist she'd revealed. Nevertheless, she didn't want to maintain a focus on herself.

“I'm glad you and Wade could come tonight. I fear I will die of frustration if one more man asks me to be his wife. You and Wade are the only men of whom I can be certain won't put that burden upon me.”

Thane chuckled. “Well, I'd say it's a good thing we came, then. Someone needs to keep an eye on you. You've never looked more stunning. Say what you will about redheaded women not being considered beautiful, but looking at you proves it false.”

“Thank you for your kindness.” She looked past him to the dance floor, where couples were gliding in perfect step to the orchestra's waltz.

“I notice that you keep looking at the dancers. Are you want
ing to join them? I'm not all that good at waltzing, but I'd give it a go with you.”

Abrianna looked at him for a moment. His words almost didn't register. “No. I don't want to dance. I was just watching for Lenore and Kolbein. They haven't arrived yet.”

“Are they still planning to attend? I thought the wedding was set for tomorrow morning.”

“It is,” Abrianna assured him. “But Lenore thought it would be great fun to come. She's gotten to know the girls and thought this would be a wonderful diversion from her fretting over wedding plans.”

“I suppose that means everything is in order for tomorrow.”

Abrianna shrugged. “I suppose it is. I wish it could be postponed for a time. Of course,” she said, looking at him with a smile, “I know that Lenore and Kolbein are in love, and I wouldn't want to keep them from wedded bliss. I'm just being selfish. Lenore and Wade have been my dearest friends for most of my life. You are my friend, also, but they are the oldest. Well, their friendship has been the longest,” she corrected.

“I've been quite dependent on Lenore for sharing confidences and the kind of things a young woman would share with her mother or sisters—if she had them.”

“Wade told me you were worried that you were losing Lenore's friendship.”

She looked at him in surprise. “He did? I wonder why. I can't imagine that he has given himself over to worry about such things. I mean, I know he cares about my feelings and well-being, but it surprises me that he would contemplate the matter of my friendship with Lenore.”

“I suppose that's because it relates to those feelings you were saying he cared about. Wade is a good man with a big heart.”

“Speaking of Wade, where is he?”

“Your aunt Miriam cornered him for a moment.”

Abrianna shook her head and felt her long curls bounce around her shoulders. Aunt Selma had spent two hours working the mass into something presentable. “I hope she doesn't have a task for him. Poor Wade deserves to dance with the young ladies. Goodness, he might well find a bride. Now, wouldn't that be something? I've never really given it any thought until now. Imagine how that would be if you and Wade found brides here at the school. Wouldn't that be grand? You both are always here helping Aunt Miriam with one thing or another, not to mention you'll be responsible for getting us moved to the new house next week.” She paused, realizing she'd never given the matter very much thought.

“Do you fancy any of the young ladies here?” she asked, looking to study his face in case he tried to deceive her. Men could be so funny about these things.

“I have noticed one or two. But one in particular. I had hoped to dance with her tonight, but apparently your aunts didn't feel she was yet ready to attend the ball.” He glanced past Abrianna toward the refreshment tables.

She turned, wondering where his gaze would lead and found Militine serving punch to a couple of men. “Militine? You have feelings for her? Why, that's wonderful. She can be as clumsy as I am and just as poor of a cook, but Aunt Miriam says she's showing progress. Maybe next year she'll be able to dance with the others.”

“I hope so. Of course, I hope to come more regularly to the receptions and bake sales.”

Abrianna turned back to face him. “Have you told her that you're interested? I think it might give her the assurance she
needs. Aunt Miriam says she's only clumsy because she lacks self-confidence. Perhaps if you shared that you were interested in courting her, then Militine would flourish like a summer flower.”

“Maybe, but she also might refuse me.”

“I have serious doubts about that.”

“About what?” Wade asked from behind her.

His unexpected arrival took Abrianna aback for just a moment. She turned around once again as Wade joined the discussion. “Goodness, but you gave me a fright. You shouldn't sneak up on a person.” She expected him to laugh and make sport at her comment, but instead he stared at her for several moments before speaking.

“You look truly beautiful, Abrianna. A fella would be proud to have you on his arm.”

“I guess dressing up causes the fires of romance to stir in a man's heart. I've already been asked three times to marry and twice to court.”

“Marry? Court? These buffoons?” Wade looked completely against the idea. “Most of these men wouldn't begin to know what to do with a woman like you. They wouldn't understand your desire to help the poor or to feed the orphans. They certainly wouldn't allow you to go about as you do on the docks and alleyways.”

“Neither do you these days,” she reminded him. “But never fear. I shall remain unmarried. I think perhaps forever. God has called me to serve Him, and marriage might well get in the way of His plans.”

Wade shook his head. “God said in Genesis that it wasn't good for man to be alone. And in Ecclesiastes Solomon said that two were better than one.”

“Yes,” she agreed, “but Paul said it was better not to marry
if you were serving God. That way you wouldn't have to split up your serving. My aunts have told me on many occasions that once a woman marries, she has no time for anything but being a wife and eventually a mother. How would I serve God then?”

“Maybe as a wife and mother,” Wade countered. “That's an admirable ministry in and of itself. Think of the encouragement and good you might have to offer a husband. Think of molding the young minds of your offspring and teaching them to have compassion on the poor.”

“I suppose.” She had considered this angle many times, but God had not sent a man into her life whom she considered worthy of her call. Maybe she was being prideful or wrong in her thinking, but any man she might consider for marriage would have to be completely devoted to God and willing to serve Him as Abrianna desired to serve.

“Oh, look. I believe Kolbein and Lenore have arrived,” Thane said, pointing across the room.

Abrianna gasped. “Doesn't she look beautiful? I've never seen that golden gown before. Look at it shimmer. It's like starlight sewn into a dress.”

The couple approached and Lenore quickly embraced Abrianna. “You look wonderful.”

“So do you,” Abrianna said. “That gown is lovely. It suits your complexion and hair perfectly. Why haven't I seen it before now?”

“I purchased it in San Francisco and only wore it once while we were there.”

“So this is just the second time,” Abrianna said with a grin. “I suppose that means you only have three more times to wear this queenly gown and then you'll be forced to pass it to me.”

Lenore laughed. “So you are finally taking an interest in dressing in fine gowns?”

“Not really—no more than usual. I just happen to like that color, and I believe it would appear acceptable with my hair coloring and freckles.”

“You're quite right it would. However, I plan to hang on to this gown for a bit. Marrying Kolbein means I will no longer be under the restrictions of my mother. I might break with all tradition and social decorum and wear it . . . six or seven times.” They laughed over this and drew the attention of the men.

“What are you two hatching?” Kolbein asked. “It seems whenever these ladies get together, trouble soon follows.”

“Don't I know it,” Wade replied. “Keeping Abrianna out of trouble is a full-time job.”

“Pity the man who marries her,” Kolbein said, grinning. “She'll blind him with her beauty and then worry him to death with her antics.”

“That's hardly fair,” she protested.

“Maybe not, but it's true,” Wade threw in. “Did I tell you about the knife she straps to her leg?”

“Better say
limb
,” Abrianna corrected. “Lenore doesn't like anyone using the l-e-g word.”

Lenore blushed. “Only when speaking about people. Legs are fine so long as they belong to a horse or a table.”

The men laughed, but it was Wade who offered, “And limbs are on trees, so now what word shall we use?”

Abrianna grinned. “He's got you there, Lenore.”

“And I have you for the next dance,” Kolbein declared. He took hold of Lenore's elbow. “Shall we?”

She nodded and he led her out to join the other couples. Abrianna found Lenore's gown even more appealing in the ballroom light as she twirled in Kolbein's arms. It truly was an amazing
gown, and Abrianna found it almost impossible to take her eyes off of the couple.

“Would you like to dance?” Wade asked her.

“Don't bother. I already tried that,” Thane told him. “She doesn't want to dance. She just wants to stare at the people who are dancing.”

“That's not exactly true,” Abrianna said with a shrug. “I'd much rather be in my room reading a good book.”

“And miss all of this?” Wade waved his arm toward the dancers. “You are a most unusual young woman, Miss Cunningham.”

“Indeed she is,” Priam Welby said, coming up from behind Abrianna. “And clearly the most beautiful woman in the room.”

The interruption so startled her that Abrianna whirled on her heel to face him. She said nothing but looked upward to find the man smiling. “I have come to seek a dance,” Welby continued. “In fact, I came to this affair solely with that in mind. Furthermore, I will be deeply wounded if you fail to accept a dance with me.”

Abrianna drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. She knew Aunt Miriam expected her to join the others in merrymaking. “I suppose I can dance with you . . . once,” she said, looking from Wade to Thane as if she hoped they might rescue her.

“She could,” Wade said, taking the cue, “but she's already going to dance with me. I had just invited her to join me on the floor.”

Welby frowned. “Then perhaps you will allow me the next dance.” He bowed and walked away without another word.

Abrianna shook her head. “I don't know why I must dance at all. It's not like it serves any good purpose. I mean, look around you. Waltzing is nothing more than walking around the room to music.” She took hold of Wade's arm. “But I know
my aunts expect it of me, and if not with you, then it will just be someone else.”

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